Shadowing Practice: The Cozy Ones for Fall | Friends - Learn English Speaking with Video

What happened?

I don't know.

You fell asleep.

That is all.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, I better go.

Yeah, I think that would be best.

All right, I'll talk to you later.

Okay, but not about this.

No, never.

Never. So, uh...

All right.

Bye.

No touch, no touch.

Hey.

Just, uh, brought back your videos.

Uh, hey, uh, Ross, look, uh, Uh, I think we need to talk about before.

No, no, we don't.

Yes, we do.

Now, look, that was the best nap I ever had.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Come on, admit it.

That was the best nap you ever had.

I've had better.

Okay, when?

All right, all right.

It was the best snack ever.

I said it, okay?

But it's over, Joey.

I want to do it again.

We can't do it again.

Why not?

Because it's weird.

Fine.

You want something to drink?

Sure.

What do you get?

Warm milk and an excedrin PM.

Boy, I'll tell you, that judging stuff took a lot out of me.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Think about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch.

Why would I care about that?

No reason.

I'm just saying that, uh, that's where I'll be.

Oh, great

lap.

It really was.

Hmm!

Dude, what the hell are you doing?

Excuse me.

Oh, I'm so sorry, you guys.

I didn't mean to bring you down.

No, you were right.

I don't have a plan.

Pizza guy.

Thank God.

Phoebe?

What?

Do you have a plan?

I don't even have a pla...

Hey, hon, would you help me get the plates down?

Yeah.

Hey, here's an idea.

Why don't we use our wedding china today?

Well, I think we should save our china for something really special.

Like, if the Queen of England comes over.

Honey, she keeps canceling on us.

Take the hint.

What if something gets broken?

They're so expensive.

What is the point of having them if we never use them?

Okay, but if something gets broken and then the Queen comes over...

I will explain it to her.

Oh, yeah.

Like, I'm gonna let you talk to the queen.

Oh, the parade is really good this year.

Man, those horses can crap.

Next up is a marching band from Muskogee, Oklahoma.

Muskogee?

That's like four hours from Tulsa.

Woo-hoo!

And here's the flow with the stars of the popular daytime show, Days of Our Lives.

Oh, my God!

Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap days of our lives?

Yeah!

I forgot I'm supposed to be there.

I can't believe I forgot.

I usually write stuff like this down on my arm.

Oh!

Stupid long sleeves.

What are you gonna do?

I guess I'm gonna have to come up with a really good reason why I wasn't there.

The producers are gonna be so mad at me.

They sat us all down yesterday and said, Everyone has to be there.

6 a.m sharp.

100

That means you, Tribbiani.

101

Like I was some kind of idiot.

102

Well, you proved them wrong.

103

Yeah.

104

Hey, who's this little naked guy?

105

Uh, that little naked guy would be me.

106

Oh, look at the little thing.

107

Yes.

108

Yes, fine.

109

That is my penis.

110

Can we be grown-ups now? Who are those people?

111

Got me.

112

Oh, that's Nana right there in the middle.

113

Wow.

114

Yeah, let's see.

115

Me and the gang at Java Joe's.

116

Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother.

117

How old was she there?

118

1939. Yeah, uh, 24, 25.

119

Huh.

120

Looks like a fun gang.

121

Ooh, look, look, look, look, look.

122

I got Monica naked.

123

Let me see.

124

Ah!

125

No, no, that would be me again.

126

I'm, uh, just trying something.

127

Hello.

128

My name is Clunkers.

129

May I please stay with you nice people?

130

Aw, I wish you'd get to stay here, but Chandler's allergic.

131

I'm sick.

132

Extremely allergic.

133

Okay, if I am anywhere near a dog for more than five minutes, my throat will just close up.

134

That's odd, because this dog's been living here for the past three days.

135

Really?

136

Taylor, if the dog has been here that long and you haven't had a reaction, maybe you're not allergic to this dog.

137

Well, it still has to go, right?

138

Why?

139

Okay, it's um...

140

Don't do it!

141

Don't do what?

142

I have to, okay?

143

It's time!

144

Okay, I hate dogs.

145

What?

146

What?

147

You're out of your body.

148

Told ya.

149

Gero?

150

All right, okay. Be careful. Be careful.

151

Watch her hair.

152

Watch her hair!

153

Right, she's got like three hairs.

154

I know.

155

I know, but they're just so beautiful.

156

Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.

157

I promise you she's safe, okay?

158

Now watch, watch how much she loves this.

159

Okay, okay.

160

Are you ready, Sue?

161

Here we go.

162

Okay, careful.

163

Okay.

164

Oh.

165

Oh, oh.

166

She's smiling.

167

Oh, look at that, she does like it.

168

See, I told you.

169

Oh.

170

Oh!

171

Oh my God!

172

Look at her, she's a little daredevil.

173

Oh, God.

174

Oh, let me push.

175

Can I push?

176

Oh, absolutely.

177

Okay.

178

Oh, God.

179

Okay, get the camera.

180

It's in the diaper bag.

181

Okay.

182

See?

183

Scared of the swings.

184

I bet you feel pretty silly.

185

Ah! So how's the game?

186

I have no idea.

187

What?

188

Yeah, I'm just pretending to watch the game so I don't have to help out with stuff.

189

I don't believe you.

190

That is brilliant.

191

And Monica has no idea?

192

Nope.

193

Every once in a while, I just yell and scream stuff at the TV.

194

Hey, wait!

195

Oh, hey!

196

Is your team winning, hon?

197

Oh, yeah.

198

Anderson just scored again.

199

Ah.

200

There's no Anderson.

201

Goats are parading, parading down the street.

202

Rading goats are parading, leaving little treats.

203

Does it even work without my sexy voice?

204

I like it.

205

Gunther, kiss me.

206

What?

207

I'm still waiting for my paper machine man.

208

Thank you, my babies.

209

Rachel?

210

Yeah.

211

I don't know if you heard about what happened between me and Phoebe the other day.

212

No. Well, we kissed.

213

I didn't initiate the kiss, but I also didn't stop it.

214

I've been feeling guilty.

215

Okay.

216

So, um, are we cool?

217

Okay.

218

I knew you'd understand.

219

Janice likes to cuddle at night, which, you know, I'm all for.

220

But, uh, you know, when you want to go to sleep, you want some space.

221

So, uh, you know, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something?

222

Oh, honey, I'm sorry we can't help you there, because we're cuddly sleepers.

223

Mm.

224

Okay, I'm late for work.

225

Oh.

226

All right, are you guys gonna come down?

227

Uh, yeah, yeah, I'll...

228

I'm right behind you.

229

Okay, good luck, Chandler.

230

Thank you, Rachel.

231

Bye, sweetie.

232

Bye, honey.

233

Mwah.

234

Okay, the sleeping thing.

235

Very tricky business, but there is something you can do.

236

I thought you guys were cuddly, sleepy.

237

No. No, not cuddly, not me, just her.

238

I'm like you.

239

I need the room.

240

Okay, come here.

241

Okay.

242

You're in bed.

243

Yeah.

244

I'm gonna use the cushion.

245

Yeah.

246

Okay, you're in bed.

247

She's over on your side cuddling.

248

Now, you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her and roll her over to her side of the bed.

249

And then you...

250

roll away.

251

Hug for her.

252

Roll for you.

253

Okay, the old hug and roll.

254

Okay, one question.

255

Shoot.

256

You're pretending the pillow's a girl, right?

257

What do I want to do about this coat?

258

I'll take it. That might work.

259

Oh, yeah.

260

Huh?

261

All right.

262

What do you think?

263

You're on in five, Miss Minnelli.

264

No, no, no. It's just a bit sudden.

265

No, it's great, okay?

266

I am totally on board.

267

I love you, too.

268

All right, bye.

269

What's the matter, Ross?

270

Nothing.

271

No, no, no. Oh, actually, great news.

272

I just got off the phone with Emily, and looks like I'm moving to a new apartment.

273

Woo-hoo!

274

Why?

275

Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh new furniture.

276

Why not a fresh new apartment?

277

Her cousin has this great place to sublet.

278

It's got a view of the river on one side and Columbia on the other.

279

That's way uptown.

280

That's like three trains away, which is great.

281

I love to ride that rail.

282

Oh, my God.

283

The pages are stuck together.

284

Chandler!

285

Oh, my God.

286

She made half an English trifle and half a shepherd's pie.

287

Uh-huh.

288

Now, this is so good that I'm going to go enjoy it on the balcony.

289

so that I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert.

290

I've got to call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is for Monica's room.

291

I'll help you die over there.

292

I'm going to go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror as I eat it.

293

Okay, now what was that all about?

294

Does it not taste good?

295

Let me try it.

296

No, no, no. All gone. So good.

297

Maybe Chandler has some left.

298

It tastes like feet.

299

I like it. Are you kidding?

300

What's not to like? to like custard good jam good meat good bird just grabbed it

301

and then tried to fly away with it and then just dropped it on the street

302

yes but if it's any consolation before the bird dropped it he seemed to enjoy it This adoption stuff is so overwhelming.

303

There's inter-country adoption, dependency adoption.

304

There's so many ways to go, and this is, like, the biggest decision of our lives.

305

There's a hair in my coffee.

306

Hey, guys.

307

Hey.

308

Hey, have you seen Frank Jr.? Because he's meeting me here with the triplets.

309

You know, it's funny.

310

Every time you say triplets, I immediately think of three hot, blonde, 19-year-olds.

311

That's sweet.

312

Drink your hair.

313

Hey, what's all this stuff?

314

Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies.

315

Ooh, babies!

316

Oh, this one is so cute.

317

Get this one.

318

That's not really how it works.

319

Oh, how does it work?

320

I don't know!

321

Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen.

322

They adopted a kid.

323

I'm sure they'd help you.

324

Thanks.

325

That would be great.

326

Hey, honey, wouldn't that be great?

327

The most popular Phoebe in tennis is called the overhand Phoebe.

328

And if you win, you must slap your opponent on the Phoebe and say, Hi, Phoebe!

329

Oh, that's cute.

330

We really all enjoyed it.

331

But you know, it doesn't count.

332

Count for what?

333

Just count in our heads as good Mad Libs.

334

I guess fun times over. But wait, wait, guys.

335

If we follow the rules, it's still fun, and it means something.

336

I'm gonna take off.

337

Guys, rules are good.

338

Rules help control the fun.

339

Let's go, Molliest.

340

You've been in a relationship before...

341

having.. having the sex.

342

Why?

343

Who's not having...

344

Are you and Julie not...

345

Are you and...

346

Are you and Julie not having sex?

347

Technically?

348

No. Wow.

349

Well, is it because she's so cold in bed?

350

Or is it because she's kind of bossy, makes it feel like school?

351

No, no, she's great.

352

And it's not like we haven't done anything.

353

I mean, we do plenty of other stuff, lots of other stuff like...

354

No, no, no, no, you don't need to know the details.

355

Okay.

356

No, it's just, it's me.

357

You know I've only been with one woman my whole life, and she turned out to be a lesbian.

358

So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become like this.. this thing.

359

And I.. you know, you must just think I'm weird.

360

No. No, no, no, I don't think it's weird.

361

I think...

362

I think, um, in fact, in fact, you know what I think?

363

What?

364

I think it's sexy.

365

Sexy?

366

Let me tell you something.

367

As a woman, there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex.

368

No kidding?

369

Hell yeah.

370

In fact, you know what I'd do?

371

What?

372

I'd wait.

373

You'd wait?

374

Yes, absolutely.

375

I would wait and wait. And wait.

376

Then I'd wait some more.

377

Really?

378

Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it.

379

I don't care if she begs, she pleads, she tells you she's gonna have sex with another man.

380

That just means it's working.

381

Don't women really want this?

382

Well, more than jewelry.

383

Hey.

384

I need you to set me up for a joke.

385

Later, when Monica's around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks.

386

Ooh, I don't know, Chan.

387

I'm not so good with remembering lines.

388

Well, thank God your livelihood doesn't depend on it.

389

I know, right?

390

Why, why, why are we doing this?

391

Monica says that her maitre d' is the funniest guy she's ever met.

392

Seriously?

393

She actually said that?

394

Yes.

395

Am I crazy to be this upset?

396

No. Being funny is your thing.

397

Yeah.

398

Without that, you just got lame with women.

399

Yeah.

400

Hi.

401

There you are.

402

Fire trucks!

403

Quick retreat.

404

Oh.

405

Oh, well, you're just the prettiest ballerina I've ever seen.

406

Thank you.

407

Oh, wow.

408

That deserves another piece of candy.

409

Thank you.

410

Well, I have to say that earns two-two pieces of candy.

411

I love you.

412

Oh, oh!

413

Oh.

414

Oh, honey, here, take it all.

415

Monica, we need more candy.

416

What?

417

There's only been like four kids.

418

Yeah, I know, but one of them just said that she loved me, so I just gave her everything.

419

No wonder you're pregnant.

420

I thought I not told you.

421

Oh, I don't know.

422

Um, how about the fact

423

that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from

424

when you were having sex with fun Bobby out on the terrace?

425

What?

426

Hey babe, who told you?

427

You are dead meat.

428

I didn't know it was a big secret.

429

No, it's not big.

430

Not at all.

431

You know, kind of the same lines as, say, oh, I don't know, having a third nipple.

432

You have a third nipple?

433

You bitch.

434

Whip it out, whip it out.

435

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

436

Come on, come on.

437

There's nothing to see.

438

It's just a tiny bump.

439

It's totally useless.

440

Oh, as opposed to your other multifunctional nipples.

441

I can't believe you.

442

You told me it was a nubbin'.

443

Joey, what do you think a nubbin' was?

444

I don't know.

445

You see something, you hear a word.

446

I thought that's what it was.

447

I've just never had a relationship I had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where you have to have somebody right there in the middle of a theme park.

448

Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line.

449

All right, well, see, I mean, Barry wouldn't even kiss me on a miniature golf course.

450

Come on.

451

No, he said we were holding up the people behind us.

452

And you didn't marry him because...

453

I mean, do you think there are people that go through life never having that kind of...

454

Probably.

455

Really?

456

But, you know, I'll tell you something.

457

Passion is way overrated.

458

Yeah, right.

459

It is.

460

Eventually, it kind of burns out.

461

But hopefully what you're left with is trust and security and, uh...

462

Well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism.

463

The airplane game?

464

You want a show, Rachel?

465

Come here.

466

You're gonna do something fun.

467

Okay.

468

Wee-ho!

469

Wee-ho!

470

Wee-ho!

471

Oh, so brave!

472

You're so brave!

473

Yes, you are!

474

You're so brave!

475

You're okay.

476

Okay, honey, he's fine.

477

He's fine.

478

Let's just put him down.

479

Come here, babe.

480

Yes, you're such a good boy.

481

How could you do that to him?

482

Ross trusted me.

483

What is he gonna say?

484

He's not gonna say anything because we're not gonna tell him.

485

We're not gonna tell him.

486

We're not?

487

No, we're not.

488

All right, I like that.

489

Okay. So we're okay.

490

We're okay, we're okay, aren't we?

491

No, we're not okay, we're not okay.

492

There's a bump.

493

There's a bump, there's a bump.

494

Oh, my God.

495

Well, push it in, push it in!

496

I cannot push it in!

497

Okay, we're gonna need a distraction.

498

Okay, that's it.

499

Okay.

500

I got it.

501

Okay.

502

The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you to take him back to your bedroom

503

and you do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, Whee!

504

Or we could put a hat on his head.

505

A hat.

506

Yes!

507

We need a hat.

508

We need a hat.

509

Where are we going to find a tiny little hat?

510

Oh, oh, oh, I'll get Rainy Day Bear.

511

I guess he'll know what to do.

512

Oh, my God, you're a genius.

513

Oh, God, it's kind of sewn on, though.

514

Give it, give it.

515

Okay.

516

Oh!

517

Oh, it's just like a bloodbath in here today.

518

You guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian.

519

Well, you know, you have to take a course.

520

Otherwise, they don't let you do it.

521

Hey, hey, Yertle the Turtle.

522

A classic.

523

Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.

524

The baby that hasn't been born yet?

525

Wouldn't that mean you're crazy?

526

What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?

527

You're not serious.

528

I mean, you really talk to it?

529

Yeah, all the time.

530

I want the baby to know my voice.

531

Do you talk about me?

532

Yeah, yeah.

533

All the time.

534

Really?

535

But, um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.

536

I'm here for Thanksgiving.

537

I know.

538

It's sick.

539

Why is it sick?

540

Because it's Richard's son.

541

It's like inviting a Greek tragedy over for dinner.

542

Hey, come on, Phoebe, you understand, don't you?

543

Yeah, I could see where I'd be your best shot, but no. Sorry, honey.

544

I think it's twisted.

545

Yeah.

546

What's twisted?

547

Ugh, me going out with Richard's son.

548

Ew!

549

Ew, ew, ew.

550

Sounds like a really bad idea to me.

551

Is he okay in there?

552

He's fine.

553

Hey, you know, Ma, if things work out between you and Richard's son, you'll be able to tell your kids that you slept with their grandfather.

554

Fine, judge all you want to, but married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire, live in a box!

555

Hey, guys.

556

Hey.

557

So, what do you think? About what?

558

Yeah, what?

559

Are you kidding?

560

Okay, I'll give you a hand.

561

I'll give you a hand.

562

Eyes.

563

No, no. Your eyes.

564

No. Chandler's eyes.

565

I got glasses.

566

You always had glasses.

567

No, I didn't. Are you sure?

568

Didn't you used to have a pair?

569

They were really round and burgundy and they made you look kind of, um...

570

Um...

571

Feminine?

572

Yes.

573

No!

574

Sweetie, I think the glasses look great.

575

They make you look really sexy.

576

Really?

577

Yeah.

578

You didn't think I used to wear glasses, right? Of course. So nice.

579

Hey, I have a question.

580

Well, actually, not so much a question, it's more of a general wondering.

581

Okay.

582

Okay.

583

Here goes.

584

Um, well for a while now I've been wanting to um...

585

Oh!

586

Yes, yes.

587

That's right.

588

Look at that little girl!

589

What?

590

Hey!

591

Top of the world looking Down on creation

592

and we all get out of the way

593

and we all get out of the way

594

and we all get out of the way

595

and we all get out of the way

596

and we all get out of the way and we all get out of the way Alright, this is just factine.

597

It won't hurt.

598

Ow!

599

Ow!

600

Sorry, that was wax.

601

Oh, this poor little tootie is scared to death.

602

We should find his owner.

603

Why don't we just put the poor little tootie out in

604

the hall? the hall during a blackout she'll get trampled yeah

605

decided to have a Halloween party everybody has to wear costumes

606

it'll be fun well I'll be there I mean I have to wear a costume to all my classes

607

that day anyway please tell me you're not gonna dress up

608

like a dinosaur not two years in a I'll come to the party, but I'm not dressing up.

609

You have to.

610

No way.

611

Look, Halloween is so stupid, dressing up and pretending to be someone you're not.

612

You're an actor.

613

So, Ross, are you gonna bring Mona?

614

Yeah, yeah, I think I will.

615

The hot girl from their wedding?

616

Yeah.

617

Well, hey, if she needs any ideas for costumes, she could be a bikini model or a slutty nurse or a sexy cheerleader, huh?

618

Oh, leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

619

No, no, no. Slutty leatherface.

620

Now, wasn't Joey hitting on her at the wedding, too?

621

That's right.

622

He was hitting on her.

623

And I got her.

624

I guess the better man won.

625

Please don't take her from me.

626

I'm doing okay.

627

I think it's going well.

628

Do you think they're having fun?

629

Am I talking too fast?

630

Nope.

631

Sound like me.

632

It's going great look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler little baby girl Chandler where have I heard

633

that before all right coach Ruben

634

You know what keeps when you're done over there we've got a kind of situation over here, too

635

No, we are all responsible for our own babies see that's why I think

636

that you're wrong you we've been playing these babies man-to-man We should really be playing a zone defense What do you mean?

637

I just think things will go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone, you know?

638

Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping.

639

And, you know, Mon, you can be in charge of diapering.

640

And I can be in charge of looking out cute dear when they put their hands around a boop, boop, boop, boop.

641

That sounds really great, but maybe you should be in charge of wiping.

642

OK, I'm a rookie.

643

I should not be in the end zone.

644

I'm sorry.

645

Oh, my God.

646

Oh, my God.

647

Oh, my God.

648

Oh, my God.

649

Oh, my God.

650

Oh, my God.

651

Oh, my God.

652

You know, Rachel, funny thing.

653

Actually, the end zone starts at that pole, so you're five feet short, so we win.

654

Whoa!

655

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

656

So explain something to me, though.

657

If you tagged Rachel, then isn't the play still going?

658

We'll get energized and we'll head back out.

659

Oh, all right.

660

Okay.

661

So we're having fun, right?

662

We don't need that wizard guy.

663

We'll hit a couple of clubs, talk to some strangers, and after this we'll go down to the docks and see about that boat thing.

664

I'm kind of beat.

665

Actually, me too.

666

You serious?

667

Yeah.

668

Thank God, I'm exhausted.

669

So you guys want coffees?

670

Yeah, but I don't want to be up too late, so I'll have a decaf.

671

Yeah, me too.

672

Actually, can I get some hot water with a little lemon?

673

It strained my voice screaming in there.

674

Does it have to be so loud?

675

I can't hear a word you say, and my ears are ringing so bad.

676

I'm just glad I brought that extra pair of socks, you know?

677

I used them as mittens.

678

I didn't want to touch a thing in that last place.

679

How sad are we?

680

Yeah, I know.

681

You know what?

682

We're not sad.

683

We're not sad.

684

We're just not 21 anymore, you know?

685

I'm 29 years old, damn it, And I want to sit in a comfortable chair and watch television and go to sleep at a reasonable hour.

686

Yeah.

687

And I'd like to hang out in a quiet place where I could talk to my friends.

688

Yeah.

689

And so what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G, and take a bath?

690

We're 29.

691

We're not women.

692

Ugh, PBS.

693

What's wrong with PBS?

694

What's right with them?

695

Why don't you like PBS, Phoebe?

696

Okay, because right after my mom killed herself, I was just in this really bad place, you know, personally.

697

So, I just thought that it would make me feel better if I wrote to Sesame Street, because they were so nice when I was a little kid.

698

No one ever wrote back.

699

Well, you know, a lot of those Muppets don't have thumbs.

700

All I got was a lousy keychain, and by that time, I was living in a box.

701

I didn't have keys.

702

I'm sorry, Pheebs.

703

I just, you know, I just wanted to do a good deed, like you did with the babies.

704

This isn't a good deed.

705

You just want to get on TV.

706

This is totally selfish.

707

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

708

What about you having those babies for your brother?

709

Talk about selfish.

710

What are you talking about?

711

Well, yeah, it was a really nice thing and all, but it made you feel really good, right?

712

Yeah, so?

713

Well, it made you feel good, so that makes it selfish.

714

Look, there's no unselfish good deeds.

715

Sorry.

716

Yes, there are.

717

There are totally good deeds that are selfless.

718

Well, may I ask for one example?

719

Yeah, it's...

720

You know, there's...

721

No, you may not.

722

That's because all people are selfish.

723

Are you calling me selfish?

724

Are you calling you people?

725

Yeah.

726

Well, sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist, okay?

727

And you know the deal on Santa Claus, right?

728

I'm gonna find a selfless good deed.

729

I'm gonna beat you, you evil genius.

730

Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor.

731

Oh, wait a minute.

732

His name is Dr. Bobby?

733

Well, that's his last name.

734

And his first name.

735

He's Bobby Bobby?

736

It's Robert Bobby.

737

Oh.

738

And, um, excuse me, he helps me.

739

Oh, please, ask her how.

740

What do you need help for?

741

With my alignment.

742

I got one leg shorter than the other.

743

Oh, my God.

744

Argue with that.

745

What?

746

It's true.

747

My right leg is two inches shorter.

748

Come on, you're just tilting.

749

Her legs are fine.

750

I know that.

751

So what do you let her go to a chiropractor for?

752

Sorry, let her?

753

What can I do?

754

She doesn't listen to me about renter's insurance, either.

755

Wait a minute.

756

You don't have renter's insurance?

757

No. But what if somebody steals something?

758

How are you going to run after them with one leg shorter than the other?

759

Hey, would you, uh, would you like some juice?

760

I'd love some juice.

761

Okay.

762

Wow, this is going so well.

763

Did you see us?

764

Did you see?

765

Yeah, honey, I'm standing right there.

766

Why don't you just tell me about the mall?

767

I haven't gotten checked yet.

768

Excellent.

769

Please help me.

770

I have a date tonight.

771

It has to go well, okay?

772

I'm scared for my health.

773

Okay, okay.

774

Oh, I got something.

775

Okay, it's this story that I came up with.

776

Very romantic.

777

I swear, any woman that hears it, they're like putty.

778

Really?

779

Well, then tell it to me.

780

Okay.

781

Now, you're going to want to have sex with me when you hear it, but you have to remember, it is just the story.

782

I'll try to control myself.

783

Okay.

784

Years ago, when I was backpacking across Western Europe, You were backpacking across Western Europe.

785

Have a nice six more months, Ross.

786

Okay, okay, okay.

787

I'm sorry, please, please.

788

You were in Western Europe and...

789

I was just outside of Barcelona, hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo.

790

I was at the end of this path, and I came to a clearing, and there was a lake, very secluded, and there were tall trees all around.

791

It was dead silent.

792

Gorgeous.

793

And across the lake, I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself. But she was crying.

794

Why?

795

Mmm.

796

Mmm.

797

This is great wine.

798

It's from France. in Europe?

799

Western Europe.

800

You know, um, a few years ago, actually, I was backpacking across Western Europe.

801

Really?

802

Mm-hmm.

803

Wait, it gets better.

804

Um, yeah, I was in, um, Barcelona.

805

I studied for a year in Barcelona.

806

Anyway, um, so I was, um, I was hiking.

807

I love hiking.

808

Oh, that's great.

809

I was hiking along the foothills of Mount Tibidabo.

810

I think it's Tibidabo.

811

Okay, do you want to tell the story?

812

You know, Phoebs, who else wants one of my special homemade brownies?

813

I will have one here.

814

Ah!

815

Ah!

816

Yeah, I'm not gonna have one.

817

No, no, it's just my tooth.

818

All right, I'll have a nose. So what's the matter?

819

You need a dentist?

820

I've got a good one.

821

Oh, thanks.

822

I have a good one, too.

823

I just, I, I can't see him.

824

See, that is the problem with invisible dentists.

825

Why?

826

Why can't you go to him?

827

Because every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies.

828

That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienist's blouse.

829

Phoebe, what, um...

830

What?

831

Yeah, yeah.

832

First there was my Aunt Mary, and then there was John, my mailman, and then my cowboy friend, Albino Bob.

833

And all of these people actually died?

834

Yes, while I was in the chair.

835

That's why I take such good care of my teeth now, you know?

836

It's not about oral hygiene.

837

I floss to save lives.

838

Phoebs, come on, you didn't kill anybody.

839

These people just happened to die when you went to the dentist.

840

It's just a coincidence.

841

Well, tell that to them.

842

Oh, you can't.

843

They're dead.

844

Also, just so you know, I'm not gonna make a turkey this year.

845

What?

846

Well, Phoebe doesn't eat turkey.

847

Phoebe?

848

Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals.

849

No, they're not.

850

They're ugly and stupid and delicious.

851

All right, Doug, it's not just Phoebe.

852

Will's still on a diet, Chandler doesn't eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachel's having her aversion to poultry.

853

She is?

854

Yeah, did you remember I had to leave the room?

855

Did you remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?

856

Yeah, but I thought that was just

857

because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table.

858

Anyway, it just doesn't seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people, okay?

859

It's just, it's a lot of work.

860

But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving.

861

I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like, like, Fourth of July with no apple pie.

862

Or, or Friday with no two pizzas.

863

All right, fine if it means that much to you, but it's just, there's gonna be a ton left over.

864

No, no, they won't.

865

I promise I will finish that turkey.

866

You're telling me you can eat almost an entire turkey in one sitting?

867

That's right.

868

Because I'm a Tribbiani.

869

This is what we do.

870

I mean, we may not be great thinkers or world leaders.

871

We don't read a lot or run very fast, but, damn it, we can eat!

872

Everybody, shh, shh.

873

Uh, Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay.

874

Whoo-hoo!

875

Come on.

876

Thanks.

877

Hi.

878

Um, I want to start with a song that's about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is really all about.

879

Okay, here we go.

880

Okay, thank you very much.

881

New York City has no power and the milk is getting sour.

882

But to me it is not scary cause I stay away from dairy.

883

La la la la la la la la la la la

884

la la la la la la la la la la la la.

885

Hi, guys.

886

This is Josh.

887

Josh, these are my friends.

888

That's Ross.

889

Josh.

890

Hi.

891

Dudes.

892

So did you play in college?

893

Oh, I still do.

894

Next year, I hope to make varsity, though.

895

Ross, didn't you play soccer in high school?

896

Oh, no, wait, that's right.

897

You just organized their game schedules on your Commodore 64.

898

Well, it's getting late.

899

I gotta get to the game, so I'm gonna head.

900

Okay.

901

I'll miss you.

902

What a dope.

903

Wow, cute one.

904

Very cute.

905

I know, isn't he great?

906

It's so nice to finally be in a fun relationship, you know?

907

There's nothing boring about him, and I bet he's never even set foot in a museum.

908

Well, maybe he'll get to go soon.

909

You know, like on a class trip or something.

910

You know what else is really great about him?

911

Oh, what is the word for an adult who doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom?

912

Um...

913

What was that?

914

Monica knows.

915

It's this dumb thing that Ross made up to try to fool our parents.

916

It's a way of giving the finger without actually having to give it.

917

I remember I cried the night you made that up.

918

This is the first time I realized I was cooler than my big brother.

919

I've got three of my five.

920

Three of your five what?

921

Celebrities I'm allowed to sleep with.

922

Oh, my God, you are giving us a lot of thought.

923

Hey, it's hard, okay?

924

I only have two spots left.

925

All right, who you got to narrow down to?

926

Okay.

927

Elizabeth Hurley.

928

Ooh, very attractive.

929

Yeah.

930

Forgiving?

931

Susan Sarandon?

932

You know what?

933

She's too political.

934

She probably wouldn't let you do it unless you donated four cans of food first.

935

and isabella rossellini very hot very sexy

936

but uh you know she's too international you know she's never gonna be around

937

so so you gotta play the odds pick somebody who's gonna be in the country like all the time yeah

938

because that's why you won't get isabella rossellini geography okay let's

939

see okay the turkey's in the oven the stuffing is ready

940

you know you always cook this meal all by yourself let me help this year oh Chandler that's sweet

941

but you don't have to do everything dr. Phil tells you

942

to do I'm serious let me do something just not the turkey

943

or the stuffing nothing high-profile oh the cranberry sauce it's easy to make

944

and no one really cares about it tell me more I'm

945

gonna go check something across the hall you start by washing these not with soap

946

you obviously haven't tasted my paul malo potatoes well

947

if we learn one thing today cheese it's that cheerleaders and high explosives don't mix

948

you can play that again mac well i couldn't have done it without you buddy You're a genius.

949

Oh, yeah?

950

Well, then how come I can't get my VCR to stop blinking 12 o'clock?

951

So what'd you guys think?

952

Hey, hold on, hold on, hold on!

953

Hold on, hold on, hold on!

954

Joe, it's your mom.

955

Oh, your mommy.

956

Your mommy.

957

That's nice.

958

Wow.

959

So, what did you think?

960

Well, that was, um, okay.

961

It wasn't the best.

962

That was one of the worst things ever.

963

And not just on TV.

964

What are we gonna tell him?

965

Well, the lighting was okay.

966

Oh, no, you don't.

967

You got lighting last time.

968

Lighting is mine.

969

I have costumes.

970

Oh, great.

971

That means I'm stuck with.

972

So we were watching you in there, and you were sitting right here.

973

Whoa!

974

Hey.

975

What's the matter?

976

Somebody on the subway licked my neck.

977

Licked my neck!

978

Oh, Willie's still alive.

979

What are you guys doing?

980

Oh, my mom called.

981

They're gonna run our engagement announcement in the local paper, so they're looking for a good picture of us.

982

Ooh, I'm afraid that does not exist.

983

That's not true.

984

They're great pictures of us.

985

No, they're great pictures of you standing next to a guy who's going like this.

986

Oh, my God, that's the creep that you're with at the Statue of Liberty.

987

I don't know what it is.

988

I just can't take a good picture.

989

Oh, here's a great one.

990

Yeah, I'm not in that.

991

No, but look at me all tan.

992

Hey, why don't you guys go get portraits done by a professional photographer?

993

It's a great idea.

994

I bet they have one of those wind machines, you know, like...

995

Yeah, that's great.

996

Next to that, Chandler won't look so stupid.

997

Chandler, what do you say?

998

All right, but I should warn you, I'm not going.

999

I'm going.

1000

Great.

1001

That's great, Monica.

1002

Great.

1003

Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?

1004

Okay.

1005

I'm sorry.

1006

Is the seat uncomfortable?

1007

No, I am.

1008

Chandler, Chandler, I know you can do this, okay?

1009

You have a beautiful smile.

1010

I do?

1011

Um, yeah.

1012

Alright, maybe you don't have to smile.

1013

Let's try something else.

1014

Let's try, um, try looking sexy.

1015

Okay. Or not.

1016

I know.

1017

Let's try a look of far-off wonderment.

1018

We'll gaze into our future, and we'll think about our marriage and the days to come.

1019

Chandler, what is the matter with your face?

1020

This picture's supposed to say Geller and Bing to be married, not local woman saves drowning moron.

1021

Hey, don't laugh at him.

1022

He's my drowning moron.

1023

That's it, that's it.

1024

Take it, take it.

1025

I like this one.

1026

It seems to say, I love you, and that's why I have to kill you.

1027

Can't all be bad.

1028

Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes.

1029

Oh, there it is.

1030

Oh, my God, those are my bedroom eyes?

1031

Why did you ever sleep with me?

1032

Do you really want to pull at that thread?

1033

Sweet.

1034

That's a great smile.

1035

Easy, natural.

1036

Now, pretend I have a camera.

1037

You're changing it.

1038

I can't help it.

1039

All right, all right, all right, all right.

1040

You want to know what I do when I take resume shots?

1041

Foul money from me.

1042

Yeah.

1043

Okay.

1044

First of all, you want to make it look spontaneous, right?

1045

Okay, so here's what I do.

1046

I look down, look down, keep looking down, looking down then I look up.

1047

See?

1048

All right now you try.

1049

Look down, be looking down, keep looking down.

1050

Why is there jelly on your shoe?

1051

I had a donut.

1052

Hey there you are.

1053

There I am.

1054

You okay?

1055

Yeah Joey said I uh I needed to relax so he gave me an antihistamine.

1056

Yeah Yeah, and then I fell asleep on the subway and went all the way to Brooklyn.

1057

Brooklyn is far.

1058

Yeah, Chandler, what were you thinking?

1059

No, no, but don't worry, don't worry, because I know how to take a picture now.

1060

Okay, see, look down.

1061

Look down.

1062

Look down.

1063

Chandler?

1064

Yeah.

1065

Guys, check it out.

1066

My mom sent me the paper.

1067

Oh, that's it.

1068

Oh, yeah, that looks good.

1069

You guys make a very attractive couple.

1070

Yeah, we look great together.

1071

We really do.

1072

Okay.

1073

Wow, imagine what our kids would look like.

1074

You know, we don't have to imagine.

1075

I'm marrying her.

1076

Well, just see.

1077

Hey.

1078

Hey.

1079

What are you supposed to be?

1080

Remember the Russian satellite Sputnik?

1081

Well, I'm a potato or a spud,

1082

and these are my antenna. So Sputnik becomes...

1083

Spudnik spartan man wow i don't have the worst costume anymore hey all right ross came as duty

1084

no i'm not duty no space duty hey what are you guys what are you guys talking about nothing

1085

Yeah.

1086

Mmm.

1087

Damn, this coffee's cold.

1088

Hey, Rich, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins?

1089

You know, I cannot believe you told him.

1090

Joey.

1091

So, I guess you bought that book after we broke up, huh?

1092

Uh-huh, yeah, I did, because I wore out my first copy when I was with you.

1093

Yeah, yeah, well, uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines.

1094

Sup?

1095

Ross, how could you do that to an old man?

1096

Excuse me, ladies.

1097

Hey, hey,

1098

Ross, check it out.

1099

Sandy taught me hot cross buns.

1100

Really?

1101

Sounded like three blind mice.

1102

No, three blind mice goes like this.

1103

I swear to God.

1104

Who's up for puppets?

1105

Me!

1106

I'm up for puppets!

1107

Well, please welcome.. the Snuffle Bumps!

1108

Who wants to be Mr. Wiggle Munch?

1109

And who's gonna be the Grumpers?

1110

Okay, okay.

1111

How exactly is a two-month-old supposed to appreciate puppets?

1112

Actually, studies have shown that the movement and colors help their cerebral development.

1113

The whimsical characters are just for us.

1114

I want to be Mr. Wiggle Munch.

1115

Oh, my God.

1116

Well, I guess we know who's gonna be the grumpiest.

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