跟读练习: How to Talk to Anyone with Ease and Confidence - 通过视频学习英语口语
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Thanks for watching AIM Northwest.
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Our next guest says she can teach us how to make dazzling conversation with anyone we meet.
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We welcome back the author of Human Lie Detection and Body Language 101, Vanessa Van Edwards.
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Now Vanessa, I just had to pull you away from a conversation with Fabi over there.
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Yes.
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But for folks who have a hard time making conversation,
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there's a science behind having a good conversation, right?
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Yeah, and the good news is,
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is the science of conversation.
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It can be used in any situation,
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whether it's professional, networking events, business meetings, colleagues.
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And also it's the same for social,
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parties, new friends, meeting in-laws for the first time.
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Luckily the science is the same,
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whether you love conversation or you don't.
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Okay, so let's talk about the first rule you say is your intention.
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Yeah, and this is actually the one that we most often forget.
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So the best conversations and the best conversationalists,
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they always set the intention for the conversation.
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And this helps ward against,
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you know those awkward lulls or pauses?
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Yeah.
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That doesn't happen when you set an intention.
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So what I want you to think about before you meet someone,
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before you go to an event,
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is what do you want to bring from the event?
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What do you want to bring to the event?
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So are you there to get new business?
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Are you there to meet a significant other?
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Are you there to just have a good time?
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Are you there to learn something about someone?
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Just setting that minor intention,
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I always do it on the car,
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no matter where I'm going,
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that helps you guide your conversation.
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For the next few tips,
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you'll notice you need to have sort of that guiding drive to know what you want to talk about or ask next.
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So set your intention before you even show up.
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That's kind of like a game plan, right?
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Making sure you have a plan.
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Exactly, exactly.
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It's setting up your strategy for the night.
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And again, it could be as simple as,
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I just want to laugh.
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I just want to have a good time because that's going to change the direction of your conversation.
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Okay, you talk about approach.
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Yes.
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So when you think about conversation,
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you usually think about the first line.
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But research shows that our first impression doesn't happen when you first hear someone,
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it happens when you first see someone.
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So actually the best conversationalists,
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they always approach, they almost start their conversation on the approach.
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So what I want you to do is anytime you're about to initiate conversation
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or you're about to go to someone and introduce yourself,
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is set yourself up right.
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So the best first impression happens when you have nice open body language.
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So you want your hands really visible,
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out of pockets, not tucked into your purse, not behind your back.
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It helps with our trust cues.
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Right.
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And then having your shoulders down and back.
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Anytime we turtle, it signifies anxiety.
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So shoulders down and back.
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And then your smile is actually your opening line.
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So when you smile at someone, it warms them up.
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Right.
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To them going, oh, this person's about to talk to me.
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Right.
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And it gets them sort of already going.
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It's like your opening line a little bit, your smile.
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Right.
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That's a good idea.
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And what would be a good opener?
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Okay.
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So everyone asks me, you know,
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what's a good pickup line?
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What's a good opening line?
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There was a huge research experiment that looked at almost every single pick-up line,
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all the different ways we start a conversation.
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Let me guess.
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Would it be a compliment?
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First thing you say is,
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I like that ring or those boots or that dress.
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Compliments are great second and third.
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The first one is, I know this is going to sound simple,
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hello, how are you?
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Oh!
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By far.
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That one by far.
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And if you think about it,
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that's actually, you don't really want to say something too intense when you first start.
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That's true.
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You go up, you say, hey, how are you?
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I'm Vanessa, whatever.
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And then you go into what's next.
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And the next part, so you've already introduced...
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So you don't even say your name?
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You can say, hey, how are you?
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I'm Vanessa.
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Gotcha.
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Hey, how are you?
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That hey, how are you?
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Hello, how are you?
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It's actually so nice because it's so easy and it's so natural.
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So don't think of anything crazy.
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Just go with what's simple.
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Okay.
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And then what I want you to do is look for what's called conversation sparks.
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So conversation sparks, this is the difference between a dazzling conversation
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and kind of like a meh conversation right
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so conversation sparks are the non-verbal cue is when you're engaging curiosity
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when you're engaging someone to go wow this is that's really interesting
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and can i teach you the non-verbal sign for sparks sure
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so across cultures across genders and races there is one thing
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that everyone does when they are super engaged
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and it's the eyebrow raise oh
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so you just did it anytime anytime someone says something interesting
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we go oh that's what you're looking for you're looking for the topics the conversations the stories
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that make them go oh really that means they're really listening
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that means you're not just going into meh boring
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so what i want you to think about is you set your intention right
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so maybe your intention is to get to know your in-law better right
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so what you'd be doing is asking questions you're trying to
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look for likes mutual likes do you like this restaurants vacations do we have similar hobbies
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that we like and then you're looking for
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that oh i love the baseball game last night
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and then you know you've hit it you've hit a spark
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and then you can go down that hole on
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that rabbit hole in the conversation so you're looking for the spark the eyebrow raise
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when you set
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that intention that's what you're looking for the whole time okay um ending a conversation my husband
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and his family can never end and i don't know how they do it but they can never end a conversation.
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It's the funniest thing.
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So we we don't think about ending a conversation as important
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but actually your last impression is just as important as your first impression.
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So here's what you do.
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Here's a really easy way if you ever want to end a conversation.
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First, mention it's called a future mention.
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So hey what are you up to this weekend?
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What are you doing later today?
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It actually shifts the focus from present to future.
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Oh yeah yeah.
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And then they talk about oh yeah this weekend you know
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I'm gonna go to a I'm gonna go to the hike in forest park.
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Right.
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That's your cue to say,
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well, it was so great speaking with you.
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I wish you the best of luck on that hike.
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I hope it's great fun.
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So actually that future mention is a nice little tie-in.
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Segway, yeah.
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And it's a really clean,
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nice, polite way to thank them for the conversation
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and then wish them the best of luck on whatever their future endeavor is.
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That's a good idea.
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Let's say you're at a party and you want to make sure that someone feel comfortable coming up to you.
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What would be good body language?
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Oh, I love it.
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Okay.
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So what you want to look for for yourself and others is the pivot out.
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So whenever you're trying to approach two people or three people,
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anytime they're both facing each other so their toes are aligned,
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you know that they're probably not open to anyone else.
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They're having a conversation.
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Don't interrupt them.
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Don't interrupt them.
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So when you want to be approached or you want to approach someone else,
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look for the pivot out.
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That's when someone's, they're talking to each other,
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but their body is actually angled out.
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Their toes are angled out.
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That means they're much more open.
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They're available.
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To approach, and you want to do the same.
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So if you're talking to someone,
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you still want people to come up to you.
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Make sure you pivot out towards the room.
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That signals people that you are open physically and literally.
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And I would guess to get off your cell phone.
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Oh my goodness.
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I mean, I hope that that goes without saying.
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The worst thing you can do is...
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No, people, it's a habit for a lot of people and they assume that anybody can come up and talk to them.
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But if I see someone on their cell phone,
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I'm not going to approach them.
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And the problem is, is when we get nervous and we have no one to talk to,
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what do we do?
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We're like, I'm going to pretend to text.
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Right.
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So the problem is, it's this bad cycle.
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You don't have anyone to talk to.
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So you pretend to text and then no one comes up to you.
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So what I would say is you're much better off going to get a drink,
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always have something in your hand.
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It feels nicer to have something in your hand.
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Right.
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And plant yourself right where people exit the bar or the food.
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Because that's the sweet spot.
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That's where everyone's like, I have no one to talk to.
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Right.
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So be that person who's like,
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hey, so what are you drinking?
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What did you get?
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Doesn't this food look great?
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Hey, hello, how are you?
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Yeah.
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Got you.
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Plant yourself right there.
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Really good tips, Vanessa, as always.
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We want to tell folks if you'd like to find out more,
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Human Lie Detection Body Language 101, Vanessa Van Edwards.
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Do you love this video?
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Then give us some love in the comments.
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Like this video and subscribe to our channel.
背景与语境
在这个视频中，讲者Vanessa Van Edwards分享了如何轻松自信地与任何人交谈的技巧。她强调了良好对话的科学原理，适用于各种场合，无论是商务会议、社交聚会，还是与新朋友的交流。她尤其提到设置意图的重要性，这可以帮助避免对话中的尴尬停顿。通过掌握这些对话技巧，学习者可以在任何环境中自如地进行英语口语练习。
日常交流中的五个常用短语
- 你好，我是…… - 这是一种让自己介绍的简单有效方式。
- 你最近怎么样？ - 这是开启对话的经典开场白，有助于了解对方的近况。
- 你对……有什么看法？ - 询问他人的观点可以引发深入讨论。
- 我很喜欢这个！ - 表达对某事的喜爱的短语，有助于营造积极的对话氛围。
- 我可以请教你一些问题吗？ - 在社交场合中表现出对他人意见的重视。
逐步跟随指南
要掌握在各种社交场合中自信地对话，建议采用以下逐步shadowing（影子跟随）练习：
- 设置意图：在你参加活动之前，明确自己想从中得到什么。是否想结识新朋友，或者增进业务联系？
- 肢体语言：在接近对话对象时，保持开放的肢体语言。手部应可见，放松肩膀，面带微笑，使对方感到舒适。
- 初次接触：记住，印象主要来源于视觉而非语言。确保在接触时传达出友好的信号。
- 积极倾听：在对话中，表现出对他人的兴趣，通过提问与反馈来促进交流。
- 练习和回顾：多参加社交活动，将学习的短语融入真实对话中，并在事后反思哪些地方还有提升空间。
通过应用这些技术和短语，您将能够在任何社交场合中自信地进行英语口语练习。记得使用shadowspeaks、shadow speech、shadowspeak等术语进行更多练习，以进一步提升您的英语交流能力。
什么是跟读法？
跟读法 (Shadowing) 是一种有科学依据的语言学习技巧，最初开发用于专业口译员的培训，并由多语言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。这个方法简单而强大：您在听英语母语原声的同时立即大声重复——就像是一个延迟1-2秒紧跟说话者的影子。与被动听力或语法练习不同，跟读法强迫您的大脑和口腔肌肉同时处理并模仿真实的讲话模式。研究表明它能显着提高发音准确性，语调，节奏，连读，听力理解和口语流利度——使其成为雅思口语备考和真实英语交流最有效的方法之一。