跟读练习: Life when you start choosing yourself - 通过视频学习英语口语

I think a lot of people let outside perception and outside things really determine not only what they want, but who they are.

And when you do this for so long, it gets really hard to not only discover yourself, but to discover people.

Because now, you know, you're only able to learn people as deep as you know yourself.

And I feel like time and time again, you know, you struggle with that.

You know, when you haven't given yourself enough time, when you've been loving other people too much and not loving yourself, you kind of realize that you've been pouring so much that you don't have anything left in your cup.

You know, you haven't loved yourself enough to understand who you are and what you want.

And you have to stop feeling guilty for choosing yourself.

And I think that feeling of selfishness is something that we have to understand is important.

We have to be selfish in that sense to feel okay, not to overshadow how other people feel, but to feel comfortable when we are looking for relationships,

when we are having our own things.

Stop feeling guilty for choosing yourself.

When you want to have relationships, when you want to have these connections and what you feel comes about, that is important as well.

You have valued what other people think and how other people feel so much that you water down your own feelings.

When you keep doing that, you don't get to actually discover who you are.

You don't get to have the things that you want

because you want everyone else to feel okay And this is one of the struggles of being a people pleaser, you know, you have to be okay Disappointing other people and

when you're living

so much to get these people to agree With you to

get these people to validate you you have to realize you're no longer living for yourself But you're living for them, you know, you're living for this image of you, you know That they have in their head and

when they are trying to have these relationships trying to have these connections You're going to say yes time

and time again just to feel that they're okay

You know how you feel is important too and

when you value other people so much you kind of lose sight of

that You don't realize

that you're not being selfish for saying how you feel you're

not being selfish for choosing You know who you want who you don't want in your life.

It's your life You have to be okay with

that You have to be okay that making this decision won't deteriorate from anything, but it helps you find yourself more It helps you feel more comfortable in your own things

and I think what a lot of people are Trying to

do this trying to find this they can definitely get lost in that translation

You know the difference between being selfish and choosing yourself, you know, and I think we have to

Practice choosing ourself more because of the things

that happen in our life You know when we're talking about getting hurt from people, you know, even then we choose to go back to these people We choose to let these people have you know, this level of power or

Attention over us because we don't know how to feel we don't know how we should be feeling

and and that's what makes it so much easier to let it deteriorate from you, to let it take away from you.

You don't have to understand why these people hurt you.

And I feel like a lot of times the people

that hurt you are the people that stay on your mind the most.

They get to have the biggest effect on your emotion and you're realizing that's damaging you.

You shouldn't let them have that.

You shouldn't let them keep coming back or doing whatever.

The people that hurt us the most stay on our mind the longest because we can't accept what they have already done.

We can't grow.

We can't move and we feel like we are going to be stuck on this person forever.

And when we keep telling ourselves that's how it's going to feel.

You have to understand that the people that have taken the most away from you emotionally, you don't owe them anything.

You don't have to be an emotional debt to these people.

You don't have to be dependent on how they made you feel or what they did.

You know, how they treated you isn't you.

This isn't who you are.

That's not, you know, a now defining term for you, but it's something that they did.

You know, this shows how they feel about themselves or how they are unable to appreciate you.

And you have to be strong enough to move on.

You have to accept that what this person did isn't something that has to hurt you anymore.

You know, that's what healing means it means realizing

that these things don't have to control you they don't set this parameter on you they don't set this limit

but it's something that you are able to break out of

and move comfortably with you know if you're moving in a certain way to

because of how this person feels you have to realize

that now you aren't moving for yourself anymore you know you aren't living you aren't doing these things for yourself

because you're still hurt on that thing that's happened in the past

and i feel like when you are hurting

when you are still stuck on

that it only gets harder to have you know future relationships

and i say that because when you choose yourself

when you start to do that you know and

and really try to grow try to have something deeper than yourself you know

when you know what you want when you feel so confident

and so ready to have this relationship i i feel like choosing yourself is showing humility

and a lot of people might not understand that

but i think knowing what's best for you means being able to have relationships

and admitting when you make mistakes admitting

when you are in the wrong you know admitting

when you aren't doing the best for this person you have to be comfortable enough for

that not a lot of people are when it comes to relationships

and building actual things you know a lot of people want relationships

but no one wants to change no one wants to admit they're wrong

or or admit that they make mistakes or that they can't have this or that you know

Your partner is going to change you

and that's what a relationship is going to do That's the

whole point you are supposed to build on each other so

that way you get better This person isn't supposed to force

you to be someone you're not it should be compatibility You have to realize

that with that vulnerability relationship also comes sacrifice also comes improvement

And when you're trying to build something you have to experience that, you know, instead of staying the same You have to realize

that if you get with someone who you know agrees with you and is you on every certain level

That's not someone you need, you know, there's no need to have two of you You have to have this dynamic.

You have to have this change.

You have to be able to grow You have to have these relationships that not only, you know Help you and support you but propel you into the person that you are supposed to be You know, that is what you're looking for.

You know, this soulmate isn't something you find But it's something you create

and when you start to choose yourself more and you start to realize

that You can experience this humility Finding a relationship

and being okay with how these people treat you gets you

a lot further instead of feeling sad for yourself time and time again.

You know, when you are stuck and dwelling on that, it's only going to get harder to have relationships now.

And I think so many people have gotten stuck on that

or caught on this past feeling that we kind of lose sight of what we want,

you know, and losing sight of that becomes so many different other things because we aren't really sure what we want, what you want.

And that takes time.

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You have to realize that finding yourself also means creating yourself, also means editing yourself and curating,

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you know, what certain aspects you need to feel the most you.

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That's what you need.

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And a lot of people are scared of that part of things, that uncertainty, that not knowing, you know, what they're going to be like in the future or how this person is going to treat them.

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That's the whole point.

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You have to just be comfortable choosing yourself before letting people choose who you are.

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And I think over time, the more you're able to do this, to practice this and to understand that what you want has value and that you get to determine your own value.

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That's another thing.

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Your own perception.

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Your perception shapes your reality.

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If you have this idea that you're unlovable or that people aren't, you know, going to look out for you or aren't going to do this best thing, you have to realize that that's something that's going to happen now.

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It's going to be so much easier to see something negative.

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You know, the same way if you go out the house and only want to see red cars, it's going to be so much easier to notice red cars because you tell yourself this.

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You're going to miss out on all the other things, all the other wonders that are out in reality, because you are stuck in this negative, pessimistic mindset.

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You know, if you want to feel better, that means you have to stop building a home out of that sadness.

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And I think a lot of times when I mean choosing yourself, it also means living for yourself, living comfortably, living, you know,

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knowing that you don't have to live in that pit of sadness and rumination all the time.

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You know, that deep, pensive feeling you have all the time isn't you.

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Your emotions aren't you.

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You're able to change from that.

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And I think a lot of people forget that they don't have to let it, you know, connect to them.

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They don't have to let it be them, but it can rather be, you know, something that they observe, something that they are able to learn and to grow on, you know, time and time again.

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And I think people forget that.

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People are so scared of, you know, their actual relations or the things that they feel, and they don't want to face that.

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So they drown themselves with other things with temporary relationships with people who might not care about them

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but might give it to them for a little bit

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or whatever that thing may be we're so scared of facing who we are

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and looking in the mirror

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that i think that's what's happening alone you know that's a lot of people's you know actual reality is they're

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so scared of being alone that they have to be with people time

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and time again they have to always be with someone always talk to someone always be texting someone

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and you get to see that that solitude is important because you get to not only analyze yourself but analyze your emotions.

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You know, though your emotions are something you have to let control you, I feel like, you know, it's okay to detach from your emotions in order to observe them.

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You have to realize that these things don't have to, you know, control you, but it's rather something that you are able to understand.

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You know, you're able to understand how you feel

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and see these things and to know that it doesn't have to be a determining factor.

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You know, you have to practice this emotional independence a lot of times, you know, and I feel like when we're

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kind of letting people you know get into our life or

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or do these things

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and whatever they do now makes us you know feel a certain way that's not resilience

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and it makes sense to have feelings it makes sense to

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feel like you know what this person did hurt you

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and i think everyone's experienced this level of hurt

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but we can practice moving on

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and feeling okay instead of diving down each time again you

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know it's the over analyzing it's the oh what could i have done better or what should i have done.

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It's not always you.

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You're not the problem in a lot of this.

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You have to realize that.

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And that's not in an egotistical sense or that sense that you make no harm or that you do no problems.

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But it's realistic to understand that when people hurt you, it's not your issue.

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That's not something that's based on you.

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That's not something that you have to fix or you have to learn.

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You immediately look at what I did, what could I have done or what should I have done when really that only makes it so much harder.

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You keep asking yourself these questions of what you could have done

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when you realize that that person is the one who made the mistake.

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They decided to treat you this way. And

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when people are telling you know they didn't intend to hurt

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you you have to understand what did they exactly intend to

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do what were they looking to do with this decision with

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this idea you know people are fully aware of how they are making you feel

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when they go out of their way and do these things you know

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and when you want to have a relationship

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when you want to feel comfortable enough to be open with someone to have someone you're pouring to you

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while you're pouring into them it gets

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so much harder to accept them it gets so much harder to practice

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that resilience but we have to learn you know we have to be able to understand

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that we are able to learn this stuff able to move on able to do all these things

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because we want better for ourself

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that makes sense you know we want to feel better we want better for ourself

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and time and time again we don't know where to start

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and it starts with choosing yourself it starts with focusing on yourself it starts with looking in the mirror and understanding everything

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that goes into who you are the emotions you know the the flaws the pros the cons the things

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that your past your future who you think you are now

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even in the present all these things add up to who you want to be

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and i think the best part about this is once you imagine

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that person who you want to be you know your dream

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version of yourself the perfect version as soon as you start acting like you're already

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that person you've become them you are that person now

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and i think a lot of people forget that

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that they are able to change their future day after day

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it's really just a simulation of a bunch of good choices in a row you make enough good choices

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and you'll be set for life

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and that's how it works there's no need to overdo it

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or to feel a certain way start feeling more comfortable with yourself

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start realizing

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that you have a voice too in this world you get

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to say how you feel you get to do what you want

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and that matters people don't want to hear

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that people don't want to accept it

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or they might feel like well i'm not anything special no we are significant in

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that way you are able to learn from yourself

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and learn from these things and i feel like that growth is something that we have to feel more comfortable with

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feel ready to to to live in and to accept

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when we want to feel better when we want to have

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that thing you are exactly you know the very thing

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that determines your future and as soon as you realize

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that as soon as you start to make

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that change the easier it's going to be you are able

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to grow you know as soon as you realize how precious you know life is in all these moments

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choosing yourself will become the easiest thing in the world

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and you have to value

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that you're not living for anyone you're not living to be understood but you're living for yourself

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跟读法 (Shadowing) 是一种有科学依据的语言学习技巧，最初开发用于专业口译员的培训，并由多语言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。这个方法简单而强大：您在听英语母语原声的同时立即大声重复——就像是一个延迟1-2秒紧跟说话者的影子。与被动听力或语法练习不同，跟读法强迫您的大脑和口腔肌肉同时处理并模仿真实的讲话模式。研究表明它能显着提高发音准确性，语调，节奏，连读，听力理解和口语流利度——使其成为雅思口语备考和真实英语交流最有效的方法之一。

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