跟读练习: The Day I Lost My Son To Suicide | Can Ask Meh? - 通过视频学习英语口语
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- I'm the father of Jonathan, my son.
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He took his own life at the age of 23.
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2018, April 24th.
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Exact to this date .
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Well, Jonathan was always a very active child the life of a party who really enjoyed socialising.
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So, so he had many friends.
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He also had a way to organise among his brothers.
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They like to do online gaming together and he was always the leader.
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Even the eldest brother would have to listen to him.
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Well, he's always the rebellious one.
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That was also something that I couldn't believe.
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That day itself actually was a normal day.
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As usual, we had breakfast in the morning me and my wife together with him.
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He handed me a name card saying that he's been seeing this physiotherapist.
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He also knew that I have some muscular pain and wanted to give me the card and say that "Hey Pa, maybe you should call this person and see if this person can help you as well." We dropped him off at the MRT.
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Normally I would say, "I love you, son." And then he would say the same thing.
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Then I got a call from a lady who identified herself as an investigation officer, an IO from the police.
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She said that it is about your son, Jonathan.
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When she mentioned Jon, I...
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Yeah, something popped in me.
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So I was panicking in the car.
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I kept missing, you know, a critical turn.
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So a 40-minute drive turned out to be more than an hour.
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And that's where the news broke to us that Jon has passed and that he took his own life.
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There's no way in relating to the day's events that I could even believe that Jon took his life.
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Yeah, it was just something inconceivable.
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I suppose the situation, well, the situation...
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It's okay. The situation happened so fast so I keep telling the IO that you probably had made a mistake and there's no way that my son would do that.
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In fact, I repeated many, many times that there's no way.
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Yeah. The denial was unbearable but I couldn’t accept it.
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When I saw the feet then I realised it was really him.
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Because my son, Jon, had flat feet.
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So I noticed right away.
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But both feet were no longer in that sense when you lie down in your bed your feet basically are upright, right?
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Yeah, his are split like this.
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So immediately I also knew that his body was so broken up.
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Then I saw his body it wasn't really a body.
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It was just...
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A bundle of I believe, different parts of his body.
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But they showed his face and his face was completely intact.
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That was something that I was grateful.
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I just literally crawled up to him and say, "Son, Pa is here." And that's all I could say.
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<i>- So sorry you had to go through that.</i> - Well, I'm sorry too.
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I was supposed to work out all the details.
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How long the wake is going to be.
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How the funeral is going to be.
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Even right down to choosing the casket.
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I also kind of lost it already, right?
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Because... The day before, we are talking about his future talking about how he will continue to finish his degree his job and everything.
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And then, and then when we're at the mortuary we're talking about how to prepare his death.
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Talk about the responsibility, right?
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Well... I guess that's what you do.
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That's supposed to be the responsibility of a father and a husband.
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Yes, certainly.
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Yeah, why couldn't I detect any sign of his mental struggle or even depression?
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I couldn't tell.
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Up to this stage, I still did not know what was the real cause of why he took his own life.
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There wasn't any kind of rationale in terms of the thought or reflection.
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Just blind rage about me being a father.
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Being a useless father.
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I remember that during the wake, the funeral itself it was an open casket that everybody could see.
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We want to be very honest with them that even we ourselves did not know.
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So obviously, that also invited a lot of questions or unwanted questions.
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But it also gave us the courage to really not to to beat around the bush.
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To make sure that we...
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We took a stand on that for the sake of the family and also for the sake of my son.
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Even though, outwardly I was doing fine.
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When I was alone like going to bed I was spiralling.
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Yeah, to the point that I...
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I just felt that the darkness was just killing me.
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I could almost see myself on edge, right?
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On one side I would survive.
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On the other side I just let go.
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Scary to admit that you are not as strong as you think you are as a father, as a husband.
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But the admissions, I must say, also gave me strength that I didn't have to pretend what I'm not.
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After that we have a very, very good family meeting.
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What I said is that I felt that being a father and being a husband I didn't fulfill my responsibility of either of these roles.
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The more I talk about my failure the more I saw my sons and my wife give me the assurance that they're going to be there.
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They'll always be there.
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Yeah. I finally took the courage to reach out to SOS .
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I just wanted to see if there's any way that I could join the support group.
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This counsellor was very kind, but he was also very firm.
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He said, “No.
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You are in no condition to join the support group because what you need is to have one-to-one counselling support.” Because what I realised is that when you join a support group every one of us need to have that courage not just to introduce ourselves but to repeat whom we have lost and what happened.
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And if I wasn't ready and I started listening to all the different stories it can be very difficult.
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What I'm most afraid of doing about facing up to my guilt and shame those were the things that I literally found that I had to confront.
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It's a very common question that we ask ourselves.
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Because over time, memories fade, right?
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<i>- What are your favourite memories</i> <i>that you like to revisit?</i> - His defiance.
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His laughter.
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There used to be a time that because they enjoyed the gaming so much I would always get very angry and then went out to the living room and say that "Hey guys, do you know what time it is?" Now, my sons, they'll still do that.
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But that noise is no longer there.
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So all of a sudden, I miss that.
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After eight years I guess in many sense, I still remember my son fondly and I still cherish and treasure all the memories I had with him and for him.
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As we're moving on with our lives I don't think we're leaving him alone.
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We're moving on because all my sons are growing up they're going to have their own life.
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But it doesn't diminish our memory of Jon just that it evolved to the next phase of our life.
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He is still very much our son and I speak it in the present tense.
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Whenever we talk about certain things that we are doing together and all of a sudden it will jog our memory about what Jon used to do.
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We talk about him freely that means that we include his memory in our daily conversation and that gives us strength.
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During the time that when I was spiraling I actually couldn't see any light.
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I needed to do something that is purposeful and meaningful for me to at least try.
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I transitioned from a survivor to now a facilitator so that I can help other parents who are in the same shoes as me.
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Oftentimes, we assume that loving just because you love them so much you thought that you would also know them inside out.
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That is false.
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I would say that for parents going through a situation like that if they already detect signs of their sons having this kind of suicide ideation I would very much encourage them not to skirt around the issue.
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To ask directly: are they thinking about taking their own life?
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Yeah, people may say that "Wow, is this even a question that you can ask?
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Because if you ask, wouldn't that induce to make the intention clear?” No, on the contrary it's that maybe that's exactly what they need.
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They needed people to talk to them.
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Suicide is not just a one-person business.
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It's multiple parties business.
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If I look at myself that statement about “Never mind, they will move on” is just a fantasy, unfortunately.
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Look at me.
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Have I moved on?
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Moving on is not a simple case that everything will be hunky-dory and then we'll be all peaceful and we will forget about our loved one.
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No one is able to move on and forget about everything.
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There will be a time that we're going to come to the end of our own life.
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I just want to believe that when that time comes the opportunity to be able to reunite with Jon will be there.
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Yeah. I'm going to repeat that short phrase that when I saw him lying in the morgue.
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I would say "Hey son, Pa is here.
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And I'm so glad that we can be together again."
关于本课
在本课中，学生将通过分析和模仿一位父亲讲述他失去儿子故事的感受，来提高他们的英语口语能力。录像中，父亲生动地描述了他的儿子在生活中的活力，以及在失去后他所经历的情绪波动。通过分享个人故事，学习者将能够更好地理解情感表达，并在说英语时自然地运用这些表情。
关键词汇与短语
- 自杀 (suicide) - 别无选择的痛苦。
- 警探 (investigation officer) - 处理案件的警员。
- 拒绝 (denial) - 在接受重大消息时的防御机制。
- 遗体 (body) - 逝者的肉体。
- 痛苦 (pain) - 深刻的情感体验。
- 未来 (future) - 对生者来说值得期待的事情。
- 悲伤 (grief) - 由于失去而产生的情感状态。
- 过程 (process) - 处理悲伤的步骤。
练习建议
在进行英语影子跟读时，shadow speak方法特别有效。观看时请注意视频中父亲的语气和节奏。他的声音中传达了深刻的情感，而这正是学习者需要模仿的部分。以下是一些具体的练习建议：
- 重复本视频中的句子和短语，试着模仿说话者的情感语调。
- 录下自己的声音，进行与原视频的对比，帮助发现发音和语调的差异。
- 在安静的环境中进行练习，确保无干扰，能够专注于发音及语气。
- 适当调整练习速度，初次观看时可以慢速进行，熟悉之后再逐渐加速，帮助提高英语发音。
- 将此视频视为一个好的 英语影子跟读 练习材料，定期重复练习，强化你的口语能力。
通过这些练习，你将能更加自信地进行英语对话，提升表达能力。记住，情感的表达能够增加语言的魅力，努力去体会和模仿 you'll find it a rewarding practice!
什么是跟读法？
跟读法 (Shadowing) 是一种有科学依据的语言学习技巧，最初开发用于专业口译员的培训，并由多语言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。这个方法简单而强大：您在听英语母语原声的同时立即大声重复——就像是一个延迟1-2秒紧跟说话者的影子。与被动听力或语法练习不同，跟读法强迫您的大脑和口腔肌肉同时处理并模仿真实的讲话模式。研究表明它能显着提高发音准确性，语调，节奏，连读，听力理解和口语流利度——使其成为雅思口语备考和真实英语交流最有效的方法之一。