تدريب Shadowing: How to INSTANTLY be more attractive (without saying a word) - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية عبر الفيديو
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The biggest lie you've been told your whole life is that in order to be more attractive, you have to change your appearance or talk more.
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But what if I told you that the most magnetic people are actually the quietest?
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You see, most people think that in order to turn heads, you have to be the loudest in the room.
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But this is actually a trap.
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They're telling you this to keep you small.
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Because the secret to having that magnetic energy that everyone finds so, so attractive is all about how you make people feel.
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And after studying human psychology and confidence for years, I'm going to share with you exactly how to do this so that you can go from insecure to irresistible.
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The first thing you have to understand when it comes to attraction is
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that it has very little to do with what you say.
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Yes, knowing how to open your mouth and talk to people is important, but what's more impactful is actually how you make people feel.
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And the most effective way to make people feel good when they're with you is by knowing how to listen.
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One of the most basic human needs is connection.
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And when we feel connected to someone, we become attached to them and they become more likable.
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It is basic psychology.
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If you touch a hot stove and it burns you, you're not going to want to touch it again.
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But when it comes to your favorite ice cream flavor, I mean, how could you say no?
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It's irresistible.
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Every time you eat it, it feels good.
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The same thing happens when we're with people that make us feel good about ourselves.
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And the best way to do this is by making the other person more important than you.
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This is the opposite of what you've been told when it comes to being attractive, but this is actually how you get magnetic energy.
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And so the question becomes, how do we listen right?
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Before you start running around and making conversations with people, you need to learn how to listen to yourself.
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Because if you can't even hear what your own brain is telling you, it will be impossible to do the same for others.
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So the first thing you need to do is practice sitting in silence or meditation, if that's what you're into, and see what comes up for you today.
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Most of the time we're feeling a mix of stressed, anxious, frustrated with someone, sad, lonely, you name it.
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We experience a ton of negative emotions every day that usually get suppressed and when you suppress yourself,
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you actually suppress other people and this is why you are not attracting the people you want.
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But when you give yourself the space to actually feel those emotions, that is when you are truly listening.
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Now when you're sitting in silence and these feelings start to come up, you need to acknowledge them.
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Here's the reality, okay?
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When we get older, there is no parent to comfort us anymore.
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So we need to be our own parent and comfort ourselves.
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You need to acknowledge whatever emotions come up and tell yourself things like, I hear what you're saying.
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You feel XYZ.
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Or I hear you.
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I see you and I accept you.
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Okay, pause.
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At this point, you're probably thinking this sounds really hippy-dippy
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and stupid and not the video that you were expecting and trust me, the first time you do this whole process, it's going to feel very fake and weird,
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but this process of listening and acknowledging yourself is going to be the exact framework for how you listen to other people.
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And this is why most people don't have that magnetic energy, because they don't realize that it all starts with you.
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Now, once you've actually experienced what it's like to be truly heard, you will understand why this is such a powerful tool in attraction.
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And now let's talk about how to do this with other people
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so that you can be the most attractive one in the room.
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Like I said, effective listening is all about providing the space for people to enter.
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Any conversation is an intimate experience.
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So you should be asking yourself what you can offer to this person or how you can serve them.
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Because remember, it's not about you.
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It's about them.
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One of the most important ways to do this is through body language.
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You need to make eye contact with the other person.
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And that is the bone I have to pick with this generation because I literally, I cannot stand people who don't look you in the eye.
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They say the eyes are the window to the soul and it's true.
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When you look at someone in the eyes, it makes them feel seen and connected to you.
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You're basically saying that your attention is solely on them, not on your phone, none of the other people around you, but on them.
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You also need to be mindful of things like crossing your arms and legs.
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Crossing your body literally closes you off and makes you seem unapproachable and not in a good way.
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But when you open your body up, people will naturally draw themselves in, automatically feeling safer with you and naturally more attracted.
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Providing the space for someone also means asking the right questions.
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People love to talk about themselves.
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So you genuinely need to be interested in the other person.
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I like to do this by asking follow-up questions to get them talking more.
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Some of my favorites are, How did you feel after XYZ happened?
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What made you decide to do XYZ?
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How long have you done XYZ?
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These are the questions that show your interest in the other person.
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And this makes them feel good about themselves.
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Be curious when listening.
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I actually want to get to know someone and I promise they will want to get to know you even more.
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But when it comes to listening, most people drop the ball because they think it's just literally hearing the words people say.
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But you are not like everyone else.
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And so for you to be magnetic and attractive, you have to understand effective communication and what it means.
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Effective communication is the process of exchanging information, ideas, and emotions in a way that the message is clearly understood by the receiver
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and that the sender and receiver feel satisfied.
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So TLDR, in order to effectively communicate, you have to make people feel seen and heard.
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And this is why we practice on ourselves first so that we know what it's supposed to feel like.
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Now, the way you do this with other people is through something called reflective listening.
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Reflective listening is repeating back in your own words what the speaker has said to show
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that you've understood and heard their message correctly.
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When you do this, people are instantly more attracted to you because you make them feel accepted.
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And this works because it is basic human psychology.
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People have an innate desire to feel like they belong.
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So by you showing them that you understand, they feel connected to you.
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Now when it comes to attractiveness, here's where people get it wrong.
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Most people think that the person who is speaking during a conversation is the one with the most power, but it's actually the one who's listening.
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Listening is not a passive action.
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It is active because the whole purpose of it is not just to shut up when someone's talking, but it's to empower them and give them the tools to empower themselves.
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One of my favorite and most effective reflective listening tips is helping other people identify their emotions.
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When something difficult or distressing happens, it brings up a lot of emotions.
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And for most of us, we have a hard time pinpointing exactly what we're feeling
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because it's just a cocktail of a bunch of different emotions like anger, sadness, frustration, resentment.
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We know we don't feel good, but it's hard to determine what specific emotion is coming up for us.
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And so as an outsider to someone else's situation, you can act as a guide and help them figure out exactly what they're feeling without being forceful.
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To help you understand this better, let's use an example.
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Let's say you're out to lunch with your best friend and they tell you, ugh, my boyfriend is so mean to me.
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Whenever we hang out, he's always on his phone and ignoring me.
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I'm sick of it.
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Now, being the effective listener that you are, you respond with, aw, I'm sorry that your boyfriend is treating you like that.
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That must feel very frustrating to you.
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And she says, yeah, you're so right.
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I am frustrated.
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You see how you took their situation and you helped pinpoint exactly what they were feeling without even saying much, you've made them feel seen and understood.
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And also notice how your response did not include your opinion about your friend's situation.
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You didn't say, oh, you should really break up with him.
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I would if I were you.
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When you do this, you actually shut people down because now it's about you, not them.
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And the reality is people don't need your help because they already know the answer to their problems.
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So you don't need to tell them what to do because deep down they already know.
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Instead you should be a guide to help people figure it out themselves
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and you do this by asking the right questions like huh that sounds really tough what do you think you should do?
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Now this doesn't mean you can't ever share your thoughts
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or opinions with someone you just have to do it the right way.
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So rather than just unloading all of your unsolicited advice first ask for their permission to share.
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So something like wow that sounds really challenging Would you like my suggestion?
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Or have you ever thought about XYZ?
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By reframing your opinions as questions, you are giving other people the freedom to decide what's best for them you're not commanding
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but rather you're guiding
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and this is an extremely attractive quality now of course being
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attractive doesn't mean you're limited to only being the listener for
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every conversation it is just as important to know how to
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respond as it is to listen you need to be interested first
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so that you can be interesting don't be afraid to be vulnerable.
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By contrary belief, being vulnerable does not make you look weak.
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People actually appreciate it more when you share personal stories with them.
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It makes them respect you more, thus making you more attractive.
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Be eager to share more about yourself.
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I think the age of social media has ironically made us extremely closed off, especially in face-to-face interactions.
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Most people don't even know how to start a conversation, let alone sustain one.
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And so you may be wondering, how do I share more about myself in a conversation without overpowering it.
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A good rule of thumb is that for every response, try to use at least three sentences.
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This will challenge you to elaborate and it will also give people context to respond back with.
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So if someone asks you, how's your day going?
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And you just say, good, boom, conversation over.
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But instead, if you respond with, it's great, got all my errands done and still have time to go to the grocery store to pick up dinner.
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How about you?
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You see how you give the conversation more steam and now the other person can respond better to what you just shared, this is how you talk to people and make them like you.
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Now of course you don't have to do this with every single person you meet, but just try to practice talking to random people.
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Listen, talking to total strangers is actually so much easier
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because the stakes are lower with them than with the people you already know and see on a daily basis.
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I mean with strangers you are never going to see them again.
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So this is the perfect time to hone your communication skills.
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When I go out somewhere, I make it a goal to engage with at least one person because at the end of the day, it's just a numbers game.
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The more people you talk to, the better you'll be at communication and eventually you will become an infinitely more attractive and magnetic person.
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So the next time you catch yourself overthinking what to say
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or wondering if people are looking at you, stop because the truth is attraction is not about doing more.
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It's about being present and attuned with yourself.
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And when you know how to listen and accept yourself, you can do the same for others.
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And that's the secret to attractiveness.
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It's what people remember you for.
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And the best part is you don't just become attractive, you become unforgettable.
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If you liked this video and you wanna learn more on confidence, I have a great video right here that will teach you the one mind trick I used to overcome any insecurity.
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As always, thank you so much for being here and I'll see you in the next one.
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Bye.
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أنت تتدرب على اللغة الإنجليزية باستخدام "How to INSTANTLY be more attractive (without saying a word)" مع تقنية الـ Shadowing.
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التظليل الصوتي (Shadowing) تقنية تعلم لغة مدعومة علمياً، طُورت أصلاً لتدريب المترجمين الفوريين المحترفين. الطريقة بسيطة لكنها قوية: تستمع لصوت إنجليزي أصلي وتكرره فوراً بصوت عالٍ — كظل يتبع المتحدث بتأخير 1-2 ثانية. تُظهر الأبحاث تحسناً كبيراً في دقة النطق والتنغيم والإيقاع وربط الأصوات والاستماع والطلاقة.































