تدريب Shadowing: How to Speak Articulately (Full Course) - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية عبر الفيديو

By the end of this video, you are going to learn how to be an articulate speaker, how to speak better than 99 % of the human population.

So lock in, give me a few minutes and I will guide you through it.

What is the purpose of communication?

This is the most important place to start

because then you will know what techniques you really need and what techniques you can leave and save yourself some time.

The purpose of communication is to change behavior.

To change behavior.

And yes, I do spell it with a U because I had British education.

Change behavior.

Okay?

Now, some people might say, well, what about beliefs?

Yes, you also change people's beliefs.

But if you change people's beliefs, guess what happens?

You change their behavior.

So I want you to remember this.

Effective communication is about changing behavior.

This will make more sense as we get into the details of this.

If you are a CEO, for example, okay, what is your job?

Your job is to paint a strategy that people follow.

Your job is to convince people to work for your company to get the best talents.

Your job is to sell the product to your customers.

All of this involves changing behavior.

This is what a CEO or a leader does.

Whether you are an employee or a leader,

you in some way want to affect people on the other side of your communication to change their behavior.

But now, I'm going to say something a little controversial, okay?

Let's say you're someone and you speak with the best vocabulary.

You have the best words in the world.

Every time you open your mouth, people think, wow, where did you find this word?

That is amazing.

Let's say that you have the most organized, well -structured presentation.

Let's say you don't say a single um or uh.

Let's say you have an amazing use of gestures and body language.

And let's say that when you speak, you are very high energy.

You're not boring, okay?

Go with me here.

Let's say you have all of these things that people associate with a good communicator.

So let me ask you this.

What if someone had great vocabulary, a well -structured presentation, no ums and ahs,

high energy, but their presentation doesn't change behavior.

Is it an effective presentation?

Is it an effective way of speaking?

So we must have some sort of scale, some sort of way to judge what makes some communication more effective than other pieces of communication.

Why am I pointing this out?

Because so often, myself included, we think, if I can just learn how to speak better, how to have better words,

how to improve the sound of my voice, all of a sudden, I'm going to become a better speaker.

And yes, the sound of your voice might improve.

The vocabulary might improve.

But if no one's buying the product, if no one wants to work for your company,

if no one wants to act on the message of your speech, have you changed behavior?

The answer to that is no. So in my books, you can have amazing vocabulary and you can still be a bad speaker.

You can have the best structured presentation.

You can have the best gestures,

no ums and uhs, and you can still be an ineffective speaker because the purpose of communication is to change behavior.

Are you following me?

By the way, if you don't know who I am.

My name is Yasser Khan.

I've coached more than 50 ,000 leaders around the world on how to speak like a CEO with confidence, clarity, and credibility.

Now that you know this, we know whatever we learn in terms of communication skills,

it must have the ability to get people to feel a certain way, get them to think differently or do something differently.

If that doesn't happen, we're not effective.

So the only techniques that we're going to learn today are the ones

that change behavior and this will help you relax a bit more

because so often I hear people saying oh you said um

or this wasn't grammatically correct yes but can you do that

and still change people's behavior

if the answer is yes then we're focusing on the wrong

thing what do we do to speak in a way where we can change people's behavior this is a framework

that I've developed.

is called hub h u b think of it like the

hub of all of your communication has to go through this format i i'll explain what

that means hub let's talk about the h first before you

worry about vocal variation before you very worry about storytelling

when you speak the most basic thing that you need to do when you open your mouth, people must be able to hear you.

This might sound obvious, but I will tell you.

When a lot of people speak, other people, they don't hear what the speaker wants them to hear.

They don't hear because they might be not loud enough.

Maybe they're talking too quietly.

So first, get people to hear you before you get into the other parts of your presentation

or other parts of your speech.

Two quick things we can break this down into.

One is your words or spoken word.

Two is your body.

People, they will look at you and they'll get a message.

They're hearing.

They're paying attention to you.

So you might be saying certain words, But if your body is saying something else, what people are hearing is also going to be different.

Let's start with the words, okay?

So what you actually say.

What determines when the people can actually hear you?

Number one is volume.

Do you speak loud enough for a person, this is an ear, to hear what you're saying?

with experience I will tell you I had a client

and I have many clients who go to the same exact issue they will speak like this

and you know very quiet and you can't understand what they're saying

and I have to ask them can you speak a little bit louder a little bit louder

and whenever I ask them can you speak louder they almost

always say I am speaking louder I feel like I'm screaming

something to know this is an issue for you we have a terrible gauge of how loud we talk.

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The way you speak is accustomed to how you spoke in your entire life.

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If you mumble your whole life, that is your normal.

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That is what you think is normal.

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For other people, that might not be their normal.

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So if I ask you or someone says speak louder, you're going to feel uncomfortable in your mind because you think you're screaming or you're talking way too loud.

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When on the outside, it'll sound completely normal.

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I can't tell you how often I see this in my classes where someone says, Yasser, I feel like I'm screaming.

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And I will ask everyone else in the group, do you think like he's screaming?

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Do you think like she's talking too loud?

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99 % of the time, no, it sounds completely normal.

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So if you are someone who struggles with the volume of your voice, speak loud enough that in your mind, it feels uncomfortable.

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In your mind, it feels uncomfortable because if you speak the way you always do, your brain has no reason to resist it.

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We're just going to continue doing what we always did.

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But if all of a sudden you do something new that your mind doesn't associate with your previous personality,

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it's trying to hold you back into your existing identity.

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So let's say this is you, and you work as an accountant, you are 27 years old,

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you're introverted, you bombed a presentation, whatever.

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All of these you have done, you've spoken a certain way, you have learned from your parents or the people around you,

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you've spoken a certain way your entire life for 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, 40 years,

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and eventually you say, this is just who I am.

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This is how I speak.

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This is my identity.

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Well, you weren't born speaking like that.

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You learned to do it somewhere, right?

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So a lot of people say, this is who I am, this is my identity, and they lock themselves in there.

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So when they try speaking louder, what happens is their old identity, remember, the brain doesn't want to change.

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The brain wants to stay the same.

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It takes less resources for the brain to, if it doesn't want to change, it doesn't use any resources.

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But if it has to change, there's a lot of discomfort, a lot of resources the brain has to use.

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So every time you try something like pausing longer

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or talking a bit loud your old identity will start saying

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things like this sounds fake this is too much this is robotic this is inauthentic

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if this is what you feel quite counterintuitive to understand this,

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if this is what you feel, you're doing it correctly.

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you're doing it correctly because your old identity is being threatened

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if you speak the way you normally do

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if you're not really pushing the volume pushing the way you communicate then your body is going to be comfortable

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and there's going to be no change

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so the way you know you're making progress is you will start to feel uncomfortable

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that inner identity the voice will start yapping hey what are

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we doing this is not who we are why are you talking loudly all of a sudden, let's talk the way we always talk.

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So you want to look for discomfort.

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So with volume, most of my students struggle with volume because they hear this inner voice.

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I'm too loud.

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This is too much.

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It's not how I talk.

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It's not who I am.

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And then they stop.

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You want to feel like you're talking way too loud.

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So volume, what can you do about sounding clear so people actually hear you.

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Enunciate.

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This is my favorite.

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Enunciate.

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Enunciate means, and you will observe this as I am talking, when you say the words, when the words come out of your mouth,

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can people hear the sounds of each of the individual syllables in the words?

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So for example, if I was going to talk like this and I was going to say, hey, if you want to get people to listen to you, you got to make sure that they can hear you and your volume is really high.

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All of the words are combined together.

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You cannot hear the sounds of the individual syllables in the words.

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But, and I want you to pay attention to what I'm saying now,

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as I am talking, you will notice that you can hear just about every single syllable clearly.

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I am overly pronouncing it.

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In my mind, I feel like, Yasser, this is ridiculous.

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You're doing it too much.

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But on the outside, to you I'm sure, it just sounds like I speak clearly because I enunciate the sounds.

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What does it mean to enunciate?

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It means to sound it out. To sound it out.

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So for example, if I wanted to say extremely excited, or I can say I am extremely excited,

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what I'm not going to do is say I'm extremely excited.

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I'm extremely excited.

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Just mix them together.

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I am extremely excited.

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I'm extremely excited.

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I am extremely excited.

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Can you hear the difference in the clarity there?

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Remember, first, they must be able to hear you.

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If they can't hear what you're saying clearly, the message will not come through.

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So enunciate your words, meaning move your mouth.

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A lot of people when they talk, their mouth barely moves and they talk a little bit like this

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and there's barely any air coming out of their mouth

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and then they kind of mumble and then they just don't pause and they keep going on and on.

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Instead notice how my mouth is opening, allowing me to take in air,

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speak clearly and also project my voice. So enunciate.

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This is one of those powerhouse skills.

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If you can learn to enunciate, all other aspects of your speech will improve.

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You've learned about volume.

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You've learned about enunciation.

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Let's talk about pauses.

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When you speak, let's say you have a sentence

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and it goes on and on and on and on

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and you don't stop and you keep talking and you keep talking and you keep talking.

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Eventually, the audience gets overwhelmed because they have no time to process what you're saying.

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Connection is made in the space between your words.

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If you talk and talk and talk, the audience will listen before they have time to really process what you've said.

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If you give them more information and more information, their brain is constantly playing catch up,

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constantly playing catch up that they can't process it.

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And eventually the brain will get tired and they will stop following you

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so you can say the same thing but what we're looking for here is we're looking to add breaks

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you want to make sure when you get to the end of a phrase

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or you get to the end of a sentence

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there's a slight pause you can hear me do it right

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now i'm not pausing for two seconds three seconds just a

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hint of a pause i'll say something let it land say

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the next thing let it land think about in your mind

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whenever you have a full stop period comma wherever you have this naturally

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stop talking for one second allow the person to process and then continue so for example in my TEDx talk,

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the phrase that resonated with my audience the most is, it's not what you say.

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it's what they remember.

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It's not what you say, it's what they remember.

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But if I identify and say, it's not what you say, it's what they remember.

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Doesn't land, right?

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I can talk a certain way and then all of a sudden I can slow down and say, if there's one thing you remember, it's this.

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It's not what you say, it's what they remember.

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As opposed to, if there's one thing you remember it's not what you say it's what they remember just doesn't lie

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so you have to have pauses if you overload people they can't hear you

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because it's too much information for the brain to process

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so you have volume you have enunciation you have pauses if you just do these three things

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people are much more likely to listen to you but let me toss one more in there okay And that is variation.

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Variation.

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If I spoke like this from start to finish and you just knew exactly how I was going to speak, eventually you would tune out because your brain can predict what I'm about to do and the brain likes novelty.

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Can you see how bored you are already?

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The brain wants novelty.

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It needs a reason to continuously pay attention.

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Your brain is a prediction machine.

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If the moment you can tell, I know what's going to happen, your brain tunes out and does something else.

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So you need to get the listener unpredictability.

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They don't know what's going to happen.

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The way you do that with variation is you vary up your pace and you vary up your volume.

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You vary up your emphasis.

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So for example, my name is Yasser.

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I am really excited to be here.

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I'm talking loudly right but if I just talk like this the entire time

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and a lot of motivational speakers do this They just talk loud loud loud the entire time you get bored of it.

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It's a bit too much But if I talk like this, and I said my name is Yasir Khan.

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I'm here to teach you public speaking again

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There's not a lot of variety and if I talk like this actually

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if I don't know you can't follow me because it's good if I Talk like this Then then it's too slow.

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So fast is not good, slow is not good, loud and quiet is not good.

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Variation is what we're looking for.

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So for example, if I'm talking like this and all of a sudden

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I can slow down and I can make a point

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and then I'm going to tell you about how excited I am by going high up in volume

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and when I really want you to listen, I can go down and I can start whispering

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but notice how your brain doesn't really know what i'm about

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to do this is variation now you don't need to do

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it to the levels i was doing it depends on

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if you're on stage if you're in a corporate meeting please in the meeting

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if someone says hey what's the update on this project don't say well the update of this project is

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that i got an email from the client

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and they said we are not don't talk like this

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so please context dependent you can have less variation

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but still a variation why is this important you can say the best thing

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but if people don't like the way you sound

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if it is boring if their brain can predict where you're going how you're going to talk they will tune out

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so have some variation and also so you sound like a more charismatic person

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so sound like you have some some juice to you I see

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so many speakers they try

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so hard to be articulate they want to select the right words

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and they just sound robotic they sound like an AI put

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a you put a speaker in front of an AI has all the perfect words

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but there's no personality that personality comes from variation

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so the hub framework we talked about how people can hear

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what you're saying let's talk about the body briefly I don't want to go too deep into this

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but if you have all of these things you're doing

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when you're speaking but your body is getting in the way

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that will not help i have a matrix

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that i teach my clients this is the only thing you need to understand about body language

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and what to do with your body this is a matrix called the movement matrix.

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On one side, you have control and uncontrolled.

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On the other side, you have expressive and suppressive.

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What do I mean?

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All body language can be put into these four boxes.

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So let's go A, B, C, D.

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All right.

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Control meaning, is my movement, does it look like I'm in control?

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When people are nervous, what do they do?

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Hey everyone, really excited to be here.

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My presentation today is about, do I look like I'm in control?

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No. But when you look at leaders, you will notice their movement is deliberate.

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They're in control.

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You don't have to move your hands just for the sake of moving your hands.

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You can be here and that's totally fine too.

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You don't have to make big gestures as long as you look like you're in control.

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That's how leaders speak.

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When you're in control, you're composed, you're comfortable.

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Expressive or suppressive.

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When you are speaking, notice with my hands.

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I'm an expressive person now because I've practiced it for a very long time.

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When I speak, my hands open up.

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I'm describing things.

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Move from here to there.

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I don't have a vocabulary of gestures.

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Do this when you say this word.

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Do that when you do that word.

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I don't have that.

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But I think, okay, I'm talking about this thing.

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How do I describe it?

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That's how my mind works.

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So I'm expressing myself with my body.

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What is the opposite?

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The body is suppressing.

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You become smaller.

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You start hiding.

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People who are afraid of public speaking, the way they'll suppress themselves is they'll make their body smaller.

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They'll hide their hands.

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Hey, everyone, really excited.

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And then their voice will also suppress because your body and your mouth, they're synchronized.

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If you make your body small, it's very difficult to sound very excited.

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But if you make your body big, is very easy to sound excited.

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So are you expressing yourself or are you suppressing yourself?

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A, B, C, D.

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You want to be somewhere on this side because if you are uncontrolled and expressive, like, hey, everyone, I'm really excited to be here.

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Today I'm going to talk about, you know, the purpose of communication.

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I'm expressing a lot, but it's uncontrolled and it looks frantic.

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frantic all over the place you communicate tension and anxiety to the other person

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then if I am uncontrolled and suppressive uncontrolled

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and suppressive it's just I can't I can't control myself just

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completely frozen hey everyone really excited to be here today completely helpless

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so this is frozen like Elsa

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so this is where you want to be there's a purpose for each of them now controlled

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and suppressive you might be wondering well why do I want to be suppressive

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if you are in a business meeting

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and you want to have a serious conversation it helps you to tone down So if someone says, hey, we want this to be 90 % cheaper.

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Unfortunately, this is the final price.

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I'm not expressing myself highly in control because that's what the situation requires.

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If you're speaking seriously today, you are about to receive some bad news.

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Controlled.

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I don't need a high level of expressiveness here.

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So if you want to display authority or assertiveness,

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you can have a high degree of control and you can suppress your movement.

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Lastly, and this is where I find myself 90 % of the time, this is controlled and expressive.

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So you're both in control of your gestures, but you're also expressing yourself.

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You're comfortable.

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You don't feel like you have to just hold yourself down.

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This one makes for the best public speakers in most cases, not all the time.

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You can be highly controlled and you can have emotional stories that move people.

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If you look at Steve Jobs' Stanford speech, he delivered it like this.

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Completely controlled, read from a script, almost no tonal variation, and it's one of the best commencement speeches you will ever see.

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So again, nothing is good

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or bad remember it always comes back to purpose of communication maybe you were speaking frantically

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and someone found you relatable and they bought your product you convinced them

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and you changed their behavior that is effective communication so this is everything that you need to know

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i call this ideal this is the most natural way of speaking the controlled

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and suppressive version this can also become robotic and less relatable

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when you're speaking very seriously and

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when you don't have any tonal changes in the way you

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speak people might think you're a bit reserved this one tends

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to be more ideal this is what you can do with

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your body to get people to hear what you're saying now

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people have heard you they have paid attention to your body they can hear you

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but what if it still doesn't change behavior what

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if it still doesn't change behavior you can say all the right words the best vocabulary

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but people don't buy your product they don't going to hire you.

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The person you're asking out, they don't want to go out with you for whatever reason.

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Has it worked?

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No, it has not.

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Something else that you, if you say all the words in a way that people can understand it,

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that is a better determinant than you saying it for them to hear it.

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So for example, if I'm describing a product to you and it's clear, my volume is very loud and I am speaking in a very enunciated way,

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but you don't understand how the product works.

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Am I effective at communicating?

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No. So once you make sure they can hear you, the next step, the you in there, where did my black marker go?

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Screw it.

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The you is, oh, I'm holding it.

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There we go.

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The you is understand.

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understand they hear you but now do they understand you they hear you

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but now do they understand you we're getting deeper into our

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communication i can't tell you how many founders i've worked with

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they they're very charismatic speakers the moment they open their mouth

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and they start describing the product to me i have no idea what they're talking about

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and this is one of my it's my edge because

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if I don't understand what they're saying neither does their audience

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so we've talked about hearing let's move on to understanding can

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the audience understand what you are saying can you simplify it

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in a way for other people to understand it something I

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don't like people say I want to dumb this down for the audience I want to dumb this down These people,

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they don't understand it because they are not intelligent.

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No, if they don't understand it, then you haven't done a good enough job of simplifying it.

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So if you're, let's say you're someone who works in tech and you develop software,

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you will explain that to another software engineer in a certain language.

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You will explain it to your wife a certain way you'll explain it to your grandma a certain way

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and you'll explain it to a 10 year old a certain way you have to have the ability to adapt

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so how do you do this how do you simplify the first first concept concept of verbal

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efficiency verbal efficiency what does this mean verbal efficiency means

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and this is me explaining something

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so you understand how can you say the same thing with

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the fewest possible words how can you say the same thing

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with the fewest possible words why is this important let's say this is the brain okay

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if I am talking and you

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and I have to give you I have to give you the update

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that the timeline for the project has been pushed

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if I say hey yeah

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so I'm just touching base on the thing we talked about last time I know

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that we had a certain deadline for the project

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and I know you've been very excited about completing this on time

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and you must have so much else going on in your day -to -day schedule

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but unfortunately the vendor reached out to us and they said

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that unfortunately they're not going to be able to do it

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but it's okay you know I talked to them

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and they said the deadline will be pushed to next Tuesday it shouldn't take any more than

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that and they should be able to do it by then

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and I'll let you know what they say after

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that how many words did I take to communicate that

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and look how much space in your brain I took to communicate

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that message I'm not efficient with my communication I have to

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say way too many words to get the point across

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if I wanted to say the same thing I could have

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said the client reached out to us the deadline has been pushed to the 12th

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which is next Tuesday I'll keep up with them

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or I'll check in with them to make sure it's delivered on time how much easier is

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that to understand compared to blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

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so remember this the more words you use to describe something

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the more brain power it takes the other person to understand a lot of people think

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if I want to be a good speaker I must say

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more no you must say more with fewer words you must say more with fewer words

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so I want you to audit your language when you speak

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when you write an email start with the one sentence what

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is my main point here what am I trying to do

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so I was recently hiring a video editor and I asked them what is your expected salary?

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Just give me a number.

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Well, you know, there's a lot of things we can do together.

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And typically in the past when I work, I'm done.

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Just give me a number.

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Well, you know, what does it tell me?

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They're either afraid of saying it, or they don't know how to say something concisely.

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The best editors that I've worked with, I'll say, what is your salary expectation?

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I'm looking for something between this and this.

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Direct answer doesn't take up all of this mental bandwidth.

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So when you speak, be verbally efficient.

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Number two, X is like Y.

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X is like Y.

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If you are explaining something that your audience might not understand,

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let's say you're explaining how to learn public speaking.

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If I said the first step in public speaking is to establish a baseline point.

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Once we have a baseline point, we have to identify our 80 -20 opportunities.

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Once we know our 80 -20 opportunities, we eliminate the 80 and we double down on the 20.

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We're going to create a systematic lean focus plan for you to develop those skills, find your domino skills, and over time, make you a better speaker.

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Did you understand anything I just said?

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no idea right now you might think wow this yasup person

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he he has all of these fancy words he must be smart

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but you have no idea what i said am i going to change your behavior no

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and worse i might even make you feel stupid because i'm using all this language that's going right over your head

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let's get back into it X is like why take something

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that the audience doesn't understand compare it to something they do understand X is like why

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so in this example the public speaking example you had no idea what I just said

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but if I said learning public speaking is a lot like learning to ride a bike first

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when you try it it's intimidating

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and you don't think you can ever do it you get on

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and you keep falling off you get on

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and you keep falling off you feel a shame you feel embarrassed you don't know what to do

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but eventually when you know where to place your feet

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when you know how to sit over time you start riding

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the bike for five seconds for 10 seconds for 15 seconds

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and eventually your body learns how to balance

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and then you can learn to ride a bike

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and a few weeks later you completely forgot about all the

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things you were concerned about now you can just get on the bike without even thinking about it

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and you can do it naturally.

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Public speaking works the exact same way.

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First it will be hard you think you can't do it

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but over time your body is going to get used to all of these new techniques to your learning, and when you have enough repetition,

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enough practice, you'll completely forget that this was something you struggled with.

462

X is like Y.

463

Did this help your understanding?

464

X is like Y.

465

Take something they do understand and connect it to something they don't understand.

466

Jeff Bezos had a TEDx talk where he compared the the internet boom to electricity.

467

I think the TEDx talk might even be titled the electricity metaphor.

468

He uses metaphors and analogies all the time.

469

It's one of my favorite ways to help people understand.

470

So be verbally efficient.

471

Don't use too many words to say the same thing.

472

X is like Y.

473

Number three, roadmap.

474

What do I mean by roadmap?

475

do you know where you're going when you speak because

476

if you don't know where you're going your audience certainly does not want know where you're going

477

so imagine if someone came to your your apartment

478

or you ordered a cab he got in the cab

479

and the cab driver and this has happened to me many times actually

480

when I visit a new city they're just spinning in circles you're you're going back in the same intersections over

481

and over again, eventually you'll start to get nervous.

482

Does this driver know where we're going?

483

Do they have any clue?

484

You won't understand their behavior pattern and you probably won't trust them.

485

So you must have a roadmap of where you're going.

486

Because if you start speaking and you're taking the audience on a journey and they have no idea where you're taking it, they're not going to feel comfortable giving you their time,

487

giving you their attention so do you have a roadmap

488

when you speak do you know where you're going when you speak so how do you do that

489

one one one this is an easy way first you start with your one main takeaway okay

490

so for example

491

if i asked yasser i want to grow i want to

492

grow my social media following what's the number one thing i

493

should do the one main thing you should do is post

494

consistently that's the one main idea now I know where I

495

am going now I know what I'm going to talk about

496

if I said oh yeah post consistently

497

and you know find the best editing software look at the you know the competitors

498

and yeah you know you just got to be in it

499

for the love of it now I'm going all over the

500

place you have no idea where I'm taking you of all

501

the things you can do the one thing I would recommend is consistency.

502

I would rather you make 30 bad videos, one video a day, than try to make one perfect video

503

because right now you don't know what that one perfect video even looks like because you've never done it before.

504

So pick up the phone every single day for 30 seconds, say something into your phone and upload it.

505

That is the detail that I'm providing.

506

First the takeaway, then the one piece of detail, and at the end, take away again.

507

Why?

508

Why would I repeat myself?

509

Shouldn't you not repeat yourself?

510

You're going in circles.

511

If your answer is short, then yes, you can stop here.

512

You can say, I would recommend you make videos consistently every single day.

513

Pick up your phone, record it for 30 seconds, and upload it.

514

That's all I want to do.

515

Concise communication.

516

But if I'm speaking for longer, if I've spoken for about a minute, people remember what they hear last.

517

People remember what they hear last.

518

If you've given them a lot of details, they might forget the main message.

519

So that's why at the end, you say the most important thing again.

520

So that's my main advice. Be consistent.

521

One, one, one.

522

When you give them an answer, they now know okay i know what the answer is i know where he

523

or she is taking me i'm along for the ride

524

and then they'll follow along with it to change people behavior they must hear you

525

and they must understand you three of the ways

526

that you can make people understand you one be verbally efficient

527

don't use too many words to explain the same exact thing x is like y compare

528

or something they understand to something they don't understand to bridge the gap

529

and number three a roadmap know where you are going before you open your mouth a lot of people they think

530

if i just talk eventually i will know what i'm talking

531

about maybe think about what you're about to say now we're

532

going to get into the third element we've learned to make

533

people hear what we're saying understand what we're saying there's one more important element and

534

that is this the B in hub is believe believe they hear you they understand you

535

but do they believe you they hear you they understand you

536

do they believe you can you see how unless we pass

537

our communication from this filter it doesn't it's not effective at

538

changing behavior you can learn the best words you can learn

539

the best analogies you can speak as concisely as possible but

540

if you still don't change the way people do things

541

or think about things have you been an effective communicator the answer is no

542

so all of our tips will always come back to this, changing behavior.

543

And in order for you to change behavior, you must get people to believe you.

544

Now, I'm going to share something that is a little controversial, but that's what I do and that's okay.

545

And that is, when you are too polished, I have made this mistake many times, like more times than I can count.

546

When you sound too polished, which means you don't have any ums and uhs,

547

all of your gestures are pre -choreographed,

548

every single word is memorized.

549

if i get on stage

550

and i say every single word perfectly as i memorized it

551

what's going to happen in the mind of the audience is

552

they will think i am performing they will think this is

553

not who i actually am i am trying to be a

554

different version of myself who i am not i'm trying to be this polished, perfect speaker.

555

because I'm insecure about being myself and

556

when you see someone who's appearing as someone other than who

557

they are what does it do immediately breaks trust immediately breaks trust

558

and I used to do this as a public speaking coach

559

I still see a lot of public speaking coaches do this where they they speak in overly poetic language

560

or they use vocabulary that they would never use in a day -to -day conversation

561

or they try to come up with ways to describe things that just sound

562

unnatural it doesn't sound like something a human being would ever say

563

or they chat gpt their script

564

and they read it on youtube immediately you know even

565

if this person is good at this thing

566

because they're reading off of a teleprompter

567

because they memorized every single gesture this is not who they are i don't think i can trust them

568

so you can have the best vocal variation you can have all of this stuff

569

that helps people understand but if your sixth sense kicks in

570

and says this person far too polished a little too perfect

571

i don't think they're real i will discard this information this is why instead of being perfect it's important to be

572

present if you are present in the moment with the audience

573

and you have flaws in your speech you can say um

574

or uh most leaders do it you can speak really fast for a

575

while you can speak really slowly for a while

576

if you sound like a human being

577

if you take time to think about what you're about to

578

say you sound real you don't sound ultra polished people will believe you

579

so in a very real way you can be a less a less polished speaker not the best public speaker

580

but you can be a better communicator because people believe you're real and they're more likely to change their behavior here.

581

Can you see the difference here?

582

Being a better speaker is not about sounding amazing all the time.

583

Using the best word is about getting people to do something, whether it's someone in a business meeting,

584

whether it's someone that you're trying to convince to drop a bad habit.

585

All communication comes down to this.

586

So instead of being perfect, be present.

587

Yes, rehearse your presentation, but don't memorize every single word.

588

Say the words out loud enough times where now you can say it like in a conversation

589

if you're saying your abcs you don't need the abcs in front of you right you've said it

590

so many times

591

and it just comes to you naturally that's how you rehearse

592

for your presentation that's number one believe number two proof proof i can say

593

that i'm the best public speaking coach in the world that i can help you transform in 10 days or less, which, by the way, is my specialty.

594

That is what we're the best in the world at doing.

595

But I can say it.

596

And if I don't have any proof, why will you believe me?

597

Why will you believe me?

598

So how do you communicate proof?

599

You do that through storytelling.

600

Storytelling.

601

So when I was hiring, I used to work as a recruiter in a past life, which means people would apply for a job.

602

I was the one looking at the resume.

603

I would go through all of the applications and submit it to the hiring manager.

604

If we had a software that we recommended people, if we wanted that software expertise in that software,

605

we would ask them, do you have any experience with blank software?

606

So for example, if we're using a video editing software like Adobe Premiere Pro, if I ask, do you have experience working with Adobe Premiere Pro?

607

Some people might say, yes, I had the best experience with Adobe Premiere Pro.

608

Okay, the next person will say the same thing.

609

The next person will say the same thing because they're all trying to get the job.

610

So how do I know if not only you have experience, but you have the best experience?

611

This is where stories come in because you can give me proof from the past of it actually happening.

612

yes I remember

613

when I was working with this client all of their video files were stored on their Adobe Premiere Pro project

614

which is a software for video editing

615

so I went in there I did XYZ I made this

616

kind of video I brought in another team at an ABC

617

and now they're in this position you've told me a story you've given me real proof and now I believe you

618

Because you have proof.

619

So again, I can say all the right words, but if I don't have proof of it, I don't know if it's going to work.

620

So for example, whenever I am helping new students understand they can change,

621

they have a few existing beliefs in their mind that I need to change.

622

And that is, I'm stuck as who I am.

623

I'm stuck as who I am.

624

I'm an introvert.

625

and this will take too long okay I'm stuck as an introvert

626

and this will take too long if I say actually don't worry even

627

if you're an introvert you can make a lot of progress

628

and it's not gonna take too long in ten days

629

or less you can see a difference okay maybe it's helpful maybe

630

if I'm a person of authority

631

if I have a large following like I do you might believe me but what reason do you have?

632

Is there any proof?

633

But what if I say something like, I completely understand where you're coming from.

634

In fact, I felt like this my entire life.

635

I felt like I was an introvert.

636

I couldn't even talk to people because I was thinking, what do I do with my hands?

637

Where do I look?

638

What am I supposed to say?

639

I would get so in my head that I would just stop going out.

640

And it was this vicious cycle.

641

I would go out and I would feel embarrassed by my social performance

642

so I would just go home and I would go home and I'd be embarrassed that I had to leave.

643

And if I didn't go to the event, then I would regret not going.

644

And it was this vicious cycle of anxiety.

645

Do you feel the same way?

646

At this point, a lot of my students say, yeah, that's exactly what I'm going through.

647

So now there's relatability.

648

I've told you a little bit about myself.

649

Then I can say, you know what made the biggest change for me?

650

I used to believe.

651

Remember, I'm on their level.

652

I'm telling them I believe the same thing they believe.

653

Until I started practicing every single day using this technique.

654

And I was shocked that in just a week, I made this much progress.

655

In fact, I was in disbelief.

656

But then I won my first public speaking contest.

657

People started calling me up and saying, can you speak at this conference?

658

And now 10 years later, I'm the number one most followed CEO speech coach in the world.

659

So I understand if I was in your position, I wouldn't believe me either.

660

But now, not only through my journey, but having coached more than 50 ,000 leaders, I've seen it time and time again where I see people who think they're introverted,

661

but what they haven't done is just practice on a consistent basis.

662

Are you open to trying?

663

Can you see the difference of that as opposed to, actually, it'll work for you.

664

It won't take too long.

665

I'm giving you real proof, a short story to help you go from this belief to

666

that belief that will then change your behavior change your behavior number one

667

if you want them to believe you too polished don't be

668

too polished number two give them some proof number three this is a little counterintuitive three admit

669

limitations.

670

Admit limitations.

671

If you speak and you tell people that you are the best at what you do, we're the best, we've never had a bad client, every single speech I've ever done has been the best speech I've ever given,

672

I've always been the most confident person I've ever known, that's why you should listen to me.

673

It might sound great but you can't really relate to me in any way and it also sounds unbelievable.

674

How is that possible?

675

But when you admit to your limitation, this is telling people, calling out your flaws, people will relate to you more.

676

People will relate to you more.

677

So for example, in a lot of my talks, when I'm speaking to a corporation, I don't want them to feel like, who is this guy?

678

I've never seen him before.

679

Why should I listen to what he has to say and change the way I speak.

680

That's the default mindset they have when I walk into the room.

681

So I have to change that behavior.

682

And I'll walk in and I'll say, hey, I know this is a cybersecurity firm.

683

I'll be the first one to tell you I know nothing about cybersecurity.

684

I don't even remember my own password.

685

That'll get a chuckle.

686

And I will tell them, I know nothing about your industry.

687

But there's one thing I do know is that the way you speak determines how people treat you.

688

And I'll go into a story about that.

689

So because I have admitted limitations, I built more proof.

690

And then I doubled down on it.

691

I'll tell them later on, hey, I once delivered a presentation.

692

It was an hour -long presentation.

693

I made sure I had the best words so people could hear me.

694

I had all types of analogies.

695

And by the end, I got a round of applause.

696

But no one changed their behavior.

697

No one implemented any of the techniques that I talked about.

698

What's the problem?

699

It took me years to realize

700

that I had to also get them to believe what I was saying enough to implement it.

701

Because they have one belief, and I'm trying to get them to replace that belief with a new belief.

702

So you admit your limitations to build trust.

703

I'll give you one more example.

704

I was once at a shoe store.

705

Shoe shop, shoe store, shoe store.

706

I was going to buy a pair of shoes

707

and I normally go I just find whichever shoe has the thickest padding

708

and usually it's also the most expensive one they have so it was the Nike Adidas Boost

709

Nike Adidas Ultra Boost

710

and I was going to buy it the person at the store asked me what do you need this for

711

and I said oh I just needed to walk around the house he said I wouldn't recommend this.

712

This is a little too expensive for what you need.

713

It's overkill.

714

There's a shoe that's much more affordable, that's much better for what your needs.

715

And that shoe was half the price.

716

I ended up buying that one based on his recommendation because he had admitted limitations.

717

Even though I was going to pay more money, buy a more expensive product, I'm sure he would have gotten a bigger commission check because he told me,

718

hey, even though this is in my best interest, I don't think you should get this.

719

You should get this instead.

720

What does it do in my mind?

721

This person is honest.

722

They will admit to their limitations.

723

They will tell me when they're wrong.

724

I can't trust their recommendations in the future.

725

So if you are delivering a presentation, if you're speaking in a meeting, don't try to be an expert on everything.

726

Don't try to give advice on things you're not good at.

727

Don't try to be perfect.

728

Show your flaws.

729

People can relate to that.

730

Vulnerability is how we connect with each other.

731

That's one way that you can get people to believe you.

732

And lastly, synchronized.

733

What do I mean by synchronized?

734

We're getting back into speaking techniques here, but you can say all the right words,

735

but does your body and does do your words do this synchronize together

736

so I'll give you an example okay let's say

737

that I am the CEO of a company

738

and I'm trying to give you some updates on how the company is doing all right I showed up

739

and I said hey everyone welcome uh yeah

740

so you know the company is doing uh really well

741

and um yeah you know we're hoping for a lot of growth over the next few years uh

742

and yeah we've got a lot of, you know, exciting products that we're going to share soon.

743

So thank you for being here.

744

Do you believe what I'm saying?

745

I'm willing to bet you're a little suspicious.

746

Why?

747

Because my words and my behavior, my body, my spoken word, they did not synchronize, did it not match.

748

I didn't sound like someone who sounded confident.

749

I didn't sound like I believe what I was saying.

750

So if you don't believe what you're saying, the other person will not believe it.

751

Remember this, belief is contagious and it is contagious through emotion.

752

How do you speak about something?

753

If I say, hey, I'm really excited to be here.

754

Does it sound like I'm excited? but if I say, I'm really excited to be here,

755

same words, different emotion, you're going to believe me based on one of them and not the other one.

756

So when you're speaking, you can say the right words, but is it synchronized?

757

Does your body and your language and your spoken word, does it synchronize together?

758

That will show people they can trust you because a lot of people, They'll listen to you and something in their mind, their intuition will tell them, I don't know if I can believe this person.

759

Everyone in the world is not a body language expert, right?

760

But they've seen enough, subconsciously their brain has made a decision, I don't know what it is, but I don't trust this person.

761

I can't describe it, but I can't trust it.

762

Chances are something to do with lack of synchronization.

763

What you're saying

764

and what you're doing does not match as opposed to thank

765

you for being here we're really excited the company is doing

766

so well in the next year we're projecting 3x the revenue

767

and we have five exciting products that are about to launch

768

so I'm genuinely from the bottom of my heart excited

769

that you were here as opposed to thank you for being

770

here we're really excited about the next few years of our company

771

and all the exciting products that we're about to launch One of them you believe, the other one you don't.

772

Let's do a quick recap.

773

If you want to speak better than 99 % of the human population, number one, remember, actually, purpose of communication is to change behavior.

774

It doesn't matter if you have the best vocabulary, the best words, the best body language, no ums and us, does not matter if it doesn't change the way people think about something and do something.

775

Hub.

776

All of your communication must pass through this hub can people hear you the words

777

and the body the body language what are you communicating

778

when you speak what are you communicating with your body once

779

people can hear you they can comprehend what you're saying do

780

they understand what you're saying are you using too many words

781

to communicate the message can you use an analogy to get people to understand something they don't already understand

782

and do you have a clear roadmap

783

when you speak what is the main point where are you going with it

784

so you make sure they can hear you they can understand you

785

and lastly they must believe you if they don't believe you it doesn't matter

786

if they heard you or they understood you you can't be too polished

787

because people will immediately sense something is off about you you're

788

too perfect you're hiding something whatever you're saying will go in

789

the can next you have to have proof you can't just

790

say you can do something you can't just say you've done something, provide proof in a story so I know it's real because it actually happened.

791

Admit your limitations.

792

When you admit that you're not perfect and when you admit this is what you can't do, this is what you can do, these are the mistakes you've made,

793

you earn trust in the mind of the other person.

794

And lastly, your body and your words must be synchronized.

795

If your body is saying one thing and your words are saying another thing, it is not going to be synchronized and people simply will not believe you.

796

If you just do this, you will speak better than 99 % of the human population.

📺 نفس القناة

Speak Like an Executive (Even if English Isn't Your First Language)

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How to Be More Articulate How to Speak Confidently and Clearly by Daniel Goleman

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حول هذه الدرسة

في هذا الفيديو، ستتعلم كيفية التحدث بشكل واضح وفعّال، مما يجعلك تتجاوز 99% من المتحدثين الآخرين. الهدف الرئيسي من هذا الدرس هو فهم كيفية استخدام التواصل لتغيير سلوك الآخرين. سنساعدك في تطوير مهارات التواصل الخاصة بك، حيث ستتمكن من التعبير عن أفكارك بطريقة تجعل الآخرين يتفاعلون مع رسائلك بشكل أفضل. سواء كنت قائدًا أو موظفًا، يمكن أن تُحدث مهاراتك في التحدث فرقًا كبيرًا في حياتك المهنية والشخصية.

المفردات والعبارات الأساسية

تغيير السلوك - تغيير الطريقة التي يتصرف بها الناس.
التواصل الفعّال - القدرة على إيصال الرسالة وتأثيرها على الآخرين.
المفردات - الكلمات التي تستخدمها في حديثك.
الهيكلة الجيدة - تنظيم الأفكار بطريقة منطقية.
الطاقة العالية - الحماس والتفاعل أثناء التحدث.
لغة الجسد - تعبيرات الوجه وحركات الجسم التي تدعم حديثك.
العرض التقديمي - طريقة تقديم الأفكار للجمهور.
تحسين النطق - العمل على وضوح الصوت وطريقة النطق.

نصائح للممارسة

لتحقيق أقصى استفادة من هذا الدرس، ننصحك بتطبيق تقنية shadow speech. استمع إلى حوار الفيديو وحاول تكرار ما تسمعه في نفس الوقت. ركز على نبرة الصوت وسرعة الحديث لتنسجم مع أسلوب المتحدث. ابدأ بممارسة المحادثة الإنجليزية ببطء، ثم زد من سرعتك تدريجياً. من الضروري أن تشعر بالراحة أثناء التحدث، لذا لا تتردد في التكرار عدة مرات حتى تصل إلى مستوى الثقة المطلوب. يمكنك استخدام هذا الموقع لممارسة المحادثة الإنجليزية بشكل منتظم، مما سوف يساعدك على تحسين النطق باللغة الإنجليزية بشكل ملحوظ. تذكر أن التعلم عبر الفيديو يمنحك فرصة للتفاعل مع محتوى حقيقي ويعزز من قدراتك في التواصل.

القواعد في هذا الفيديو

أكثر التراكيب التي يستخدمها المتحدث، مع العبارات نفسها من الفيديو:

التركيب	في الفيديو
الجمل الشرطية if + جملة، will/would + فعل — شرط ونتيجته	if i just talk eventually i will know · If you just do this, you will speak
“used to” used to + فعل — عادة أو حالة في الماضي لم تعد قائمة	used to do · used to work · used to believe
المضارع التام have/has + اسم المفعول — حدث ماضٍ ما زال له أثر الآن	I've coached · I've developed · have done
المبني للمجهول be + اسم المفعول — التركيز على ما يحدث لا على من يفعله	is called · is accustomed · weren't born

ما هي تقنية التظليل الصوتي؟

التظليل الصوتي (Shadowing) تقنية تعلم لغة مدعومة علمياً، طُورت أصلاً لتدريب المترجمين الفوريين المحترفين. الطريقة بسيطة لكنها قوية: تستمع لصوت إنجليزي أصلي وتكرره فوراً بصوت عالٍ — كظل يتبع المتحدث بتأخير 1-2 ثانية. تُظهر الأبحاث تحسناً كبيراً في دقة النطق والتنغيم والإيقاع وربط الأصوات والاستماع والطلاقة.

تقنية الشادوينغ: اقرأ الدليل الكامل خطوة بخطوة →

تدريب Shadowing: How to Speak Articulately (Full Course) - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية عبر الفيديو

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How To Articulate Your Thoughts More Clearly Than 99% of People

The #1 Skill That Multiplies Every Other Skill

become ARTICULATE and SPEAK SMARTLY - effective communication 101

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حول هذه الدرسة

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ما هي تقنية التظليل الصوتي؟