Shadowing Practice: How to Heal the FEMININE Nervous System (it's different) - Learn English Speaking with Video
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i think in a lot of ways we've accidentally over complicated our own healing especially
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when it comes to the nervous system cold plunge in the
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morning then breath work then 20 minutes of somatic shaking sunlight before coffee
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but wait don't drink
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that coffee for at least 90 minutes vagus nerve exercises tracking
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your hrv don't eat after 7 pm get your steps in
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do legs up the wall before bed now there are a million different tools
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and techniques for regulating your nervous system and
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while some of them may be helpful i just i think we might be missing the point, especially when it comes to the female body.
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Because what if, as a woman, regulating our nervous system is so much more simple and so much more enjoyable than it's made out to be?
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Hey friend, welcome back.
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If you're new here, my name is Jill's and I help women step into their power, tap into their divine feminine, and become their best self, live their best life.
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So if that's something you want to do, you should subscribe and stick around.
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So several years ago, I healed my nervous system completely on accident, years before I even understood what the nervous system even was.
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And wasn't until much later that i could actually articulate what i'd done
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and why it worked i'm going to tell you exactly what all
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that was in this video but it's changed the way
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that i think about this topic and i think
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that we've been making this more complicated than it needs to be
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and as women we've been taught to live by
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so many male standards and the male way of doing things
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and we look at scientific research done on mostly male bodies to determine what we should be doing
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when is that really the best way okay so let me back up
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and let me start here what is the nervous system the simplest way
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that i can explain it is
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that your nervous system is kind of like your body's internal
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security system it's running in the background all day every day
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scanning your life your body asking this one question am i safe
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or am i in danger that is basically its whole job
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and when it decides that you're in danger
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which it's not always accurate by the way it flips you
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into survival mode right your heart rate goes up your muscles
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tighten your digestion slows down your thoughts speed up your body pulls energy away from everything
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that isn't urgent into getting you through this threat and
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that is very smart right our bodies are kind of magical
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and it is a system
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that has kept humans alive for a very long time for
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everyone man woman doesn't matter safety is a fundamental component of the nervous system
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and the real root of a chronically dysregulated nervous system is chronically anticipating danger.
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It's like when you get a text that says, hey, can we talk?
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And your stomach immediately drops.
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There's no real issue right now.
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You're not unsafe.
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But with that simple little text, all of a sudden you're anticipating danger.
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I talk all about this and the fundamentals of healing your nervous system in this video up here.
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It's a must watch if you haven't seen it already.
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But here's what that video didn't really cover and what I want us to dive into right now.
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Yes, safety is a fundamental component to healing the nervous system, but what makes a woman feel safe and what makes a man feel safe is not always the same thing.
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And I think that that's a huge piece of the puzzle
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that all of these modern protocols and tactics and practices are not really fully taking into consideration.
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We're trying to heal a feminine system using a masculine blueprint, and then we're wondering why it's not really working and not making us feel much better.
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So we're going to dive into how to heal the feminine nervous system
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which is so much more simple and
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so much more beautiful than you might think
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but before we do i just want to thank quince for
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kindly sponsoring today's video i actually first got into quince
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because one of my friends told me about them
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but they're such a good place for high quality basics especially now
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that we're heading into fall they have so many good sweaters
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and layering pieces and classic staples they work directly with manufacturers
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which allows them to use really premium materials like 100 % mongolian cashmere or 100 % silk without the traditional retail markup.
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So let me show you some really cute things that I picked out for fall.
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First is this lightweight cotton cashmere link stitch dolman sweater.
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It is just so cute.
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I think it's just so cozy and elegant and it's perfect for transitioning into fall since it's not very chilly yet.
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I also got this cotton cashmere ribbed tank.
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I love this color and it's such a good classic elegant base layer that you can wear with anything.
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Then I got this Mongolian cashmere full zip hoodie.
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This is just such an everyday casual luxury piece.
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It's so soft and I already know I'm going to be wearing this one a lot.
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And lastly, this Mongolian cashmere cardigan sweater.
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Again, love the color, but this is just the perfect classic cardigan.
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You can never go wrong with a good cardigan for fall.
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It's really lightweight, but still really, really cozy.
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So if you want to pick up some new pieces for fall, maybe even some of the ones that I got for myself, you can shop Quince through the link in my description or use the QR code here on screen.
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And all the links for everything I got are down there too.
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And don't forget that Quince offers free shipping and 365 day returns.
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Everything that I've gotten from Quince has always felt really nice
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and well -made and I love that they are classic pieces that you can have in your wardrobe for years and years.
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So thank you to Quince and now let's get into the video.
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So you've probably all heard of the nervous system response, the stress response called fight or flight, right? So So...
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That's where we either fight the threat or we run away from the threats.
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But this fight or flight response was named in the 1930s after it was studied on males, well, male animals specifically.
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And it wasn't until the year 2000 that we discovered
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that women have their own separate stress response that we turn to sometimes.
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So men and women both experience fight or flight and can exhibit those qualities.
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But we also have another stress response that we turn to called tend
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and befriend so this is basically
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when we are experiencing stress we tend to want to be with other people with people
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that we trust we want to be in community we want support from other people
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and we want to tend to our family our friends
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and our offspring think about the woman who is cold plunging alone in her garage at 5 a .m
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that is an experience that isolates and shocks you
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when her stress response is literally asking for the opposite and
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so that's the thing is i think sometimes we have all of this backwards fight
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or flight was named in the 1930s
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and it was studied on male animals there wasn't even a
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proposed model for how women could respond differently to stress until
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the year 2000 the nih didn't require women in clinical research until 1993
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and didn't require researchers to account for sex and animal studies until 2016.
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so for most of the history
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and research in this field the default body was male there's this viral statement going around
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that women need oxytocin to regulate their nervous system
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and men need dopamine to regulate their nervous system and while
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that isn't entirely factual there's definitely a piece of truth in
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that statement or else we wouldn't all resonate with it
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so clearly even think about the tend
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and befriend response right that's connection with other people that's oxytocin inducing activities and
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when you think about it we live in a very dopamine
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heavy world achieve produce check off things on our list scroll on our phone
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so much stimulation around us it's not
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that dopamine is bad women need dopamine too but
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when a woman spends her entire day in that dopamine focused state
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which a lot of us naturally are especially during the work day
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and things like that
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and then her nervous system protocol is more of the exact
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same thing more dopamine heavy it's just more of the same we're not shifting into the energy
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that actually heals and regulates our nervous system so besides
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that core fundamental truth that we all need safety to heal
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and regulate our nervous system the feminine nervous system needs four other things okay
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and the first one is pleasure the female body needs pleasure the feminine essence needs pleasure needs play
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and what if everything that we've been doing is the opposite of
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that when really all we need to do is come back to pleasure
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and play and joy
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and laughter we're supposed to have fun we're supposed to experience
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pleasure on a regular basis men yes every human being needs to experience pleasure
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but men also need more of
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that achievement i'm doing things i'm handling things type of mentality for them to feel good in their body
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and for them to regulate their nervous systems for us to
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regulate our nervous systems we need to relax to surrender to
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let go we need to play we need to feel pleasure
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we need to feel good i know i've told this story before but back
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when i was in like my mid -20s i was really
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stressed in my life it wasn't a good time in my life
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and i was struggling with really bad health issues and
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so you know i had autoimmune issues and things like that
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and i was in the thick of trying to heal those health issues naturally
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and of course i did all the things like i changed my diet
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and i was doing the supplements and seeing the people the doctors
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that i felt like i needed to see but one thing
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that i did that i think that was most important and most crucial in my healing was that I decided, this was back when I lived in California,
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that I was going to go to the beach at least two times a week.
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And that was part of my protocol, if you can say that.
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That I realized that what I needed to heal was
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that I needed more pleasure and life and fun and joy in my life.
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And so I prioritized going to the beach, laying in the sand, soaking up some sunshine, maybe swimming in the water if i felt brave enough
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that day and i decided that i was going to prioritize my pleasure
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and my body didn't start healing
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and didn't start getting better until i started prioritizing my pleasure
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and when i was in the thick of all
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that healing my body struggling one thing that used to happen to me was
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that i would have these vacations scheduled right i would have a vacation planned some were fun
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and every single time
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that this vacation came around i would get sick i would get sick for it
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so i couldn't go or i couldn't enjoy myself
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and at first i just thought that this was an annoying coincidence
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and bad luck bad timing whatever but then i realized
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that you can only call it a coincidence for so long and this happened over and over and over again
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and i realized that it wasn't a coincidence and
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that the problem was me and what i realized is
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that i had been so used to feelings of stress
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and hardship and difficulty that when it came to pleasure
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and ease my body no longer had the capacity for it and my body saw pleasure and ease
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as unfamiliar and almost as a threat and
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when we hear this term increasing our capacity increasing our capacity in our nervous system we often see
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that as increasing our capacity for more for doing more for making more money for being more visible
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but in order to regulate our nervous system
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and in order for us to feel good and feel healthy
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and feel whole we also need to increase our capacity for pleasure
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and so many women's capacity for pleasure is minuscule because we've made it that way.
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That's why maybe when you lie down on a massage table to get a two -hour massage
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and it's super expensive and it's this magnificent spa
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and you get down on that table and you're stressed the entire time and your brain is overthinking the entire time,
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you can't even enjoy the massage because your capacity for pleasure and ease is so low.
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And so what I started doing to train myself to increase my capacity for pleasure in my life is
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that I started incorporating pleasure in little tiny ways.
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This meant romanticizing my life.
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This meant going to the beach twice a week and laying in the sand and enjoying that.
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It meant maybe playing some music while I was making myself lunch.
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It just meant incorporating tiny moments of pleasure into my everyday life.
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Sensory experiences, swimming, dancing in the kitchen, singing in the shower, cooking food that I loved, wearing clothes that felt good on my body,
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wearing clothes that made me feel beautiful, being somewhere beautiful looking at beautiful things holding hands with my husband making out with my husband
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so we build our capacity for pleasure just like we build
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our capacity for other things by practicing it by making it familiar
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and when we let ourself experience pleasure and be more playful what does
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that tell our body that tells our body
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that we are safe the reason why pleasure has become
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so unfamiliar to so many of us is
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because yes we have a lot of responsibilities in our life as we become an adult
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and we have jobs and we have families and we have homes.
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But it's because we put pleasure on the back burner.
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We put pleasure as the thing that we can access after we've already done everything that we need to do.
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But what if we can experience pleasure while we do the things that we need to do?
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Okay, maybe not all the things that we need to do, but what about some of them?
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And I think this kind of brings us to the question is why do we think
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that in order to heal or to get better
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or to have more success in our life
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that we always have to suffer or experience hardship to get
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that now of course there's no science to this
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but i don't think the female body is meant to be
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in suffering i think that's the old outdated masculine outlook on life
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and i think that as women we start to actually get everything
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that we want when we let ourselves experience pleasure
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and prioritizing feeling good in the now as women And when we feel good, we do good.
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Men, when they do good, they feel good.
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The next thing that women need to regulate their nervous systems, which is also so simple and so beautiful, is connection.
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We are not meant to regulate alone, but so many of those protocols and nervous system practices out there are things that you do independently,
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alone, on your own.
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Cold plunge, journaling, meditation, somatic practices, legs up the wall, breath work whatever all of these things we normally do them alone
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but the feminine soul we need oxytocin to feel good we
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need to be in connection with other women we need to
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be in connection with friends that's why sometimes one of the
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biggest stress relievers is not actually doing anything about your problem
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but calling your friend and just talking to her about it that's not wrong that's one way
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that we regulate as women going back to that tend
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and befriend stress response and i think i said this in my first nervous system video
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that if you don't actually have connection with other people
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that you trust then your nervous system is always going to be on alert
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and is always going to be anticipating danger because we are social animals
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if you don't have friends you need to work on finding some
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if you don't have community you need to work on building
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that now if you've experienced trauma in your life
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or trauma growing up then
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that can sometimes make attachment as an adult a little bit
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harder right it's this awkward situation where closeness maybe never felt safe growing up
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so as you become an adult you act very independent
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and you don't build a lot of close relationships with other people
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and the exact thing that you might need
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that connection with other people is the exact thing that your body
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and your nervous system is trying to avoid there's nothing wrong with being independent
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but being hyper -independent is just another way of being hyper vigilant.
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Sometimes the best form of regulation is just sitting next to your partner, holding hands and watching a movie
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or spending four hours at a long lunch with your girlfriends or think about other oxytocin type of activities, touch, eye contact, hugs, spending time with your dog,
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having your friend play with your hair, getting a massage, even taking care of someone you love, making food for someone you love, laughing together, inside jokes.
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I think as women, we're supposed to be oxytocin maxing.
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And it doesn't mean that our goals and the things that we have to do and getting dopamine is not important.
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But oxytocin, and while this might not have, you know, full scientific research to back this up,
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I do believe that oxytocin is a core hormone that keeps us balanced and keeps us regulated.
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The feminine nervous system also needs warmth.
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Warmth is soothing.
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Warmth feels like safety in traditional chinese medicine they say
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that the female body needs warmth they say no cold drinks
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no swimming in cold pools no cold plunges no things like
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that they say that the female body needs warmth
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and that's what the womb needs the womb needs warmth hot
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baths long showers feeling the sun on your skin sitting with
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a heat pad on your womb area i love this sitting
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with a big cozy blanket eating warm food instead of a cold smoothie a warm hand on your body
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but also maybe even things like warm lighting instead of overhead lighting warmth and how you're spoken to
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warmth in your home warmth in the way you talk to yourself warmth feels soothing warmth feels like home
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and that's not to say that everything that's cold is bad but what if we need more warmth more soothing, more feelings of safety to the body.
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The feminine nervous system also needs enoughness.
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And what I mean by that is that as women, our nervous systems are not the same throughout the month.
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And as women, the only constant for us is change.
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And that means that what we need and what is enough for us is going to change day to day.
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Throughout our menstrual cycle, our HRV actually changes.
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So I believe when we have a higher HRV, we usually have a higher HRV in like the follicular in the ovulatory phases
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and when we have a higher hrv that means
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that our body is naturally a little bit more resilient
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and a little bit more capable at handling stress
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and our nervous system usually stays a bit more regulated during
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that time because we naturally have a bit more capacity
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but during other parts of our cycle our hrv actually decreases a little bit
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and our nervous system is affected by that so what
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that means is that something that can feel totally good
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and totally regulating in an earlier part of your cycle can feel like too much
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or dysregulating in other parts of your cycle and this doesn't mean
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that you have to meticulously track your cycle
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and say oh i'm on day 26 this means i'm going to be more tired this means
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that you need to start tapping into your body
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and asking what it needs right now this means
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that you need to respect how your body is feeling in the current moment
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and respecting its capacity that it's at right now
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and that's what i mean by enoughness you need to know
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when enough is enough you need to know when you've done enough and
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that feeling of enough is always ever changing some days what
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is enough is going on a long walk instead of a
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really hard workout some days what is enough is checking off half your to -do list
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and not everything pushing past your edge all the time is how you stay dysregulated
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and you are repeatedly telling your body that its signals don't matter and that you don't care.
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Knowing when enough is enough and honoring that, that is a strong safety cue right there.
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I'm a strong believer that the feminine nervous system wants to be listened to.
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It wants to be held.
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It wants to be respected.
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It wants to be loved.
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It wants to be cherished.
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And when you incorporate pleasure and connection and warmth and enoughness,
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this will communicate more to your body that you are safe than so many of these nervous system practices ever will.
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Activating my feminine energy for me has been one of the things
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that most changed my life and for
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so long i could never really articulate why it changed my life
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and why it benefited my life so much
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and it wasn't until many years later that i realized
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that it's simply
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because activating your feminine energy living life from your feminine energy
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it naturally regulates your nervous system think about what tapping into
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your feminine energy means it means activating your play your pleasure
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learning how to receive learning how to rest learning how to romanticize your life learning
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that your worth is not dictated by what you produce activating our feminine energy heals a woman's nervous system
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and activating a man's masculine energy helps heal the masculine nervous system
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and this is just my theory but i think
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that a woman's journey on this earth is to learn how to embrace pleasure here.
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to let go surrender and relax
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and i think a man's journey on this earth is learning how to take on responsibility
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and have agency for his life if you find
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that you are constantly burnt out you feel like your nervous system is constantly dysregulated
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and you feel like you can never have any sort of
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consistency toward any of your goals you need to think about
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am i always pushing all the time checking things off all the time
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when you need to be enjoying yourself you need to be having fun you need to be romanticizing your life
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and once you make this switch it'll do more for you
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and more for your nervous system than you can ever imagine i don't want you to think
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that if you're having fun
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that you can also achieve your goals that's a limiting belief i don't want you to think that
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if you're having fun then things are going to fall apart
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that's a limiting belief i don't want you to think that
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if you're having fun that you can't also be responsible that's a limiting belief
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if you want to learn how to activate your feminine energy
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and heal your feminine nervous system my deep dive feminine energy
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course it's called awaken your feminine energy it is perfect for
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that the link for that is down below but besides that
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if you haven't seen my original video on how to heal your nervous system
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that is your next must watch i really break down healing the nervous system in a way
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that is so practical and easy to understand and probably in a way
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that you've never heard before so thank you
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so much for watching i hope you got value from this video
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and i'll see you over there or i'll just see you next time in my next video bye
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Vocabulario y notas de pronunciación para esta lección
Este vídeo tiene 327 frases y 4132 palabras para practicar shadowing. La parte hablada dura 21:10. El hablante habla rápido, unas 195 palabras por minuto, así que espera sonidos enlazados y reducidos. El 84 % de las palabras está entre las 3.000 más comunes del inglés; conviene repasar el resto antes de empezar.
Vocabulario clave de este vídeo
15 palabras del vídeo que vale la pena aprender, con su pronunciación y significado:
| Palabra | Pronunciación | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| heal verbo | /ˈhiːl/ | curar, sanar |
| feminine adjetivo | /ˈfɛmɪnɪn/ | femenino |
| regulate verbo | /ˈɹɛɡ.jə.leɪt/ | reglamentar |
| warmth sustantivo | /wɔɹmθ/ | calidez |
| activate verbo | /ˈæktɪˌveɪt/ | activar |
| naturally adverbio | /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/ | naturalmente, a natura |
| fundamental adjetivo | /ˌfʌn.dəˈmɛn.təl/ | fundamental, cimental |
| massage sustantivo | /məˈsɑ(d)ʒ/ | masaje |
| masculine adjetivo | /ˈmæskjələn/ | masculino |
| belief sustantivo | /bɪˈliːf/ | creencia |
| vacation sustantivo | /veɪˈkeɪ.ʃən/ | vacaciones, vacación |
| ease verbo | /iz/ | aliviar |
| swim verbo | /swɪm/ | nadar |
| dive verbo | /daɪv/ | bucear, somorgujar |
| coincidence sustantivo | /kəʊˈɪnsɪdəns/ | coincidencia, casualidad |
Phrasal verbs que vas a escuchar
| Palabra | Pronunciación | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| check off verbo | puntear, tarjar | |
| grow up verbo | crecer | |
| back up verbo | retroceder, ciar | |
| break down verbo | descomponerse, averiarse | |
| come around verbo | /kʌ.məˈɹaʊnd/ | entrar en razón |
| fall apart verbo | despedazarse, desintegrarse | |
| go around verbo | cundir | |
| go up verbo | subir |
Pronunciación a tener en cuenta
El hablante usa 77 contracciones y formas reducidas, como don't, you're, we're. Dilas en su forma corta, tal como las oyes.
- Los sonidos de “th”: warmth /wɔɹmθ/, thick /θɪk/, bath /bɑːθ/, soothe /suːð/
- Los sonidos de “sh” y “zh”: massage /məˈsɑ(d)ʒ/, vacation /veɪˈkeɪ.ʃən/, hardship /ˈhɑɹdˌʃɪp/, shock /ʃɔk/, regulation /ˌɹɛɡjʊˈleɪʃən/
- Palabras largas — cuida el acento: naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, fundamental /ˌfʌn.dəˈmɛn.təl/, coincidence /kəʊˈɪnsɪdəns/, incorporate /ɪŋˈkɔɹ.pɚ.eɪt/, anticipate /ænˈtɪs.ɪ.peɪt/
Cómo practicar con este vídeo
- Escucha el vídeo entero una vez sin hablar y anota las palabras que no conoces.
- Empieza a velocidad 0,75×, haz shadowing frase por frase y vuelve a la velocidad normal cuando te resulte fácil.
- Grábate y compara con el original, prestando atención a palabras como heal, feminine, regulate.
Gramática en este vídeo
Las estructuras que más usa el hablante, con las palabras exactas del vídeo:
| Estructura | En el vídeo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — una acción que empezó antes y continúa | we've been making · we've been doing |
| Present perfect have/has + participio pasado — una acción pasada que sigue importando ahora | we've been taught · has kept · haven't seen |
| Voz pasiva be + participio pasado — importa lo que ocurre, no quién lo hace | we've been taught · was named · was studied |
| Oraciones de relativo who / which + oración — información extra sobre una persona o cosa | woman who is · systems, which is |
¿Qué es la Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing es una técnica de aprendizaje de idiomas respaldada por la ciencia, desarrollada originalmente para la formación de intérpretes profesionales y popularizada por el políglota Dr. Alexander Arguelles. El método es simple pero poderoso: escuchas audio en inglés nativo y lo repites en voz alta de inmediato, como una sombra que sigue al hablante con solo 1-2 segundos de retraso. A diferencia de la escucha pasiva o los ejercicios de gramática, el shadowing obliga a tu cerebro y músculos de la boca a procesar y reproducir simultáneamente patrones de habla reales. Las investigaciones muestran que mejora significativamente la precisión de la pronunciación, la entonación, el ritmo, el habla conectada, la comprensión auditiva y la fluidez al hablar, convirtiéndola en una de las metodologías más efectivas para la preparación del IELTS Speaking y la comunicación en inglés en el mundo real.