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Why do you think fewer Asian people are dating, you know, stuck in their room watching Netflix or, you know, not getting married?

Why do you think that?

And majority of them said they haven't saved up money, enough money to get married.

And also there were answers like unstable unemployment.

So there's like all these sorts of social, you know, problems all combined altogether so that they came down to a conclusion.

We've long talked about Asia's demographic problem where people are having fewer and fewer babies.

But Rachel, has South Korea actually managed to reverse the trend?

That's right, Mariko.

So for two consecutive years in 2024 and 2025, more babies were born in South Korea.

But having said that, population is still shrinking because we're seeing more deaths than births.

And from South Korea to Japan to China, all these governments have been scrambling to tackle this issue.

But marriage rates are down.

So now a local government in Japan is offering money to young single people to go on a dating app.

And according to reports, Singapore might be considering a government -run dating service.

So we're asking, is Asia's dating culture to blame?

As always, I'm Mariko in Singapore and this is Asia -Pacific from the BBC World Service.

Twice a week, we bring you Asia -Pacific stories, unpacked by those who know them best.

Rachel Lee from our team is our expert on everything career and now everything about babies.

Welcome back.

Great to be back, Mariko.

I also have Simone Heng, who's an author and a human connection expert.

Now, do you want to introduce yourself to our viewers and listeners?

I don't know how much personal information you want to reveal, but I think we're going to end up talking about our age.

I'm 44, by the way.

I'm married with three kids.

So do you want to?

Yeah, I mean, if Rachel is the expert in all things baby, I guess I'm the single ladies expert.

OK.

The single ladies expert in addition to working in the human connection space.

Yeah.

Well, it's great to have you on the pod.

Thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you for having me.

What is it?

So what is a human connection? what like yeah

so human connection basically is my I guess topic

that I work in I sit on a board in DC called the foundation for social connection

and most of the time I'm just on planes speaking for

14 500s around the world on how connection can improve their performance

but you can't talk about connection without talking about loneliness

which is also a bit linked to what we're going to talk about today um

and I wrote a book on that called let's talk about loneliness

so yeah that's my full -time job is talking speaking writing researching the latest in the human connection field yeah

because I saw a description of you being a loneliness expert as well yes yeah yeah we'll definitely talk about

that but let's start with you Rachel

because we've been talking about this demographic crisis where people are having fewer babies

so many measures like baby bonuses have been announced none of them seems to have worked

but the one recent one

that caught my eye in japan was a local government's plan

to subsidize give money to single people to join a dating app

and according to reports singapore government may also be coming up with its own dating app

so can you just tell us about some of these new measures yeah i know it's so interesting

that the government is trying to chip into you know like

people's personal lives especially love life to boost birth rate right

so when i was reporting back in south korea i actually covered one of these events

so it was actually city government

so they were holding these blind date events for young people

and it was so popular they only had 100 seats available

but 3 000 applicants wow wow applied for that

and for the record you went there as a reporter as a reporter So it was that popular.

And what was interesting is that they give out congratulatory money if the couple goes out on a second date.

Wow, how much?

That I'm not really sure.

But if they do get married, they get another bonus.

Wow.

Congratulatory money.

And I was also looking into China and it was really interesting that the government also held this,

they were sponsoring blind date events in 2017.

So that's earlier than South Korean government.

And also they were giving out cash to married women to encourage them to have babies.

And also it was another interesting point was

that they were encouraging universities to have to introduce this love courses to their students.

What's love courses?

So it's like basically teaching like love relationship and like marriage and all sorts of things that are related to

like love life

and Simone you were the one who were telling me about the Singapore government potentially yeah I'll bless them

that they did a survey first before they just put it on the population

so I think that's really smart they did a survey to see whether Singaporeans would be open to

because effectively Singaporeans were coupled up would be helping to subsidize this for those Singaporeans

that were single and you'd get your date covered um

if you went on these government arranged dates so what's interesting is

that the government scheme says they're vetting for interests as well as values and actually

if you look at a lot of the relationship experts like Esther Perel they actually say common interest is something

that social media has made us hung up about in potential partners

because actually you are not meant to have the exact same hobby

and everything aligned you have friends for certain things

but the values in terms of the human connection research value

alignment is really important i mean i think the how do i phrase it the traditional values familial pressure

that i think especially our generation was under in order to get married have kids

and say one i think that's quite different to today's generation gen z

and uh rachel do you're the youngest um i think it

depends on what type what kind of family you grew up with right i mean

but i think

if you think about the overall phenomenon these days i think things are more different um

so people are now getting married more late

or they're not even getting married at all so parents

so that's where the generational conflict happens

but still parents are trying to accept the fact

that people's thinkings are changing and they value more in career sometimes

100

so some of the women who went through all these like traditional values they know

101

that women's job and women's career it does affect women's life

102

so they want their daughters to pursue career instead of getting married

103

so so I think because of

104

that even though generational changes can cause kind of like a conflict there are some of the parents who support their children,

105

who support their daughters for not getting married and have children.

106

I mean, I think it's because of all these things that we've been talking about.

107

And as a result, across Asia, in many developed economies, fewer and fewer babies have been born.

108

But Rachel, I want you to tell me about South Korea, because, you know, my country, Japan was like a pioneer in declining birth rate and shrinking population.

109

And, you know, south korea was actually lower

110

but now more babies were born two years in a row yeah

111

so how did they do that

112

so more babies were born two years in a row as you said um

113

so the reason uh fertility rate

114

but before i talk about delve into all these like numbers let me just explain the definition of fertility rate

115

because it may be confusing it's quite different how you calculate

116

it compared to like other like um terminology like birth rate

117

so fertility rate i have a definition here

118

so it's an average number of children

119

that are born to a woman over her lifetime so basically

120

that number recorded 0 .8 in 2025 so last year and

121

that was the biggest jump in 15 years

122

so people are like really like hopeful maybe the society is changing but actually many experts warn that

123

it's too early to come down to the conclusion

124

that this may be the result of the efforts of government

125

and the correct me if i'm wrong

126

but the replacement rate in order for the population not to

127

shrink it has to be 2 .1 yeah even though it

128

has gone up from what was it 0 .75 to 0

129

.8 it's the population is still shrinking it's still shrinking and it's still very low right

130

um but experts say this um slight uptick might be

131

because of echo boomers so echo boomers are people who were born between 1991 to 1996

132

and the reason why they're called echo boomers is

133

because they're children of the previous boomers generation so basically the during

134

that period it echoed like it started to like boom again the population boom during

135

that period and people born during that period is now in their late 20s

136

and 30s which is why they're getting married and having children

137

thus we're seeing an uptick and another reason might be a pandemic

138

so as many of our viewers

139

and listeners might be familiar during the pandemic people didn't really get married

140

and have children but now because it's post -pandemic more of them are getting married

141

and having children

142

and we're seeing an uptick here it's worth also pointing out at this point before we go further about dating

143

and everything else is why it's actually bad for a population to shrink I mean it's basically that the

144

economy relies on the number of people you have to work and so on, right?

145

Yeah, I mean, to simply put, so decline in population can cause societal structure change because,

146

I mean, if you look at South Korea, they say, so that all the projections suggest that if we go with this flow,

147

so with this scenario, South Korea's population, 40 percent of the population by mid -century will be 65 and over.

148

And even in Japan, now 30 percent of the population in Japan are actually 65 and above.

149

So this can cause a lot of societal pressure.

150

Number one, fiscal pressure, because people who need like health care system and like pension are increasing, so the demand is increasing.

151

But people who can provide that service is decreasing, So there's a financial burden there.

152

And secondly, there's a lack of workforce, right?

153

So even Japan is seeing like lack of workforce in many sectors like construction and elder care.

154

So these can lead to economic slowdown.

155

Simone, you and I were talking about the traditional values,

156

how that may have affected people, especially of our generation their choice to either get married

157

or not or to have children or not can you just explain

158

what role those traditional values you think played in this whole demographic crisis

159

that we're having now was an age something

160

that you were told it wasn't

161

so much about age it was quality of partner was talked about

162

so there was a lot of

163

and it was never directly it was sort of like oh

164

so and so oh he was a bad man or

165

that relation he so was more like really look for quality of human but honestly

166

and I think a lot of women of our generation who

167

are watching can empathize with this you know it was very easy to meet people

168

when I was younger I was living all over the world

169

and then my mother my father died when 19

170

and then my mother became paralyzed with a cognitive disease

171

when I was 29 thank you and

172

so I spent a lot of time caring for both my father's death

173

and that in those peak years of dating and

174

when i emerged from that process and did all the self -work

175

and thought okay now i'm a i'm a good prospect for

176

someone i've sorted myself out i didn't realize i was very naive to the fact

177

that my age made me undesirable yeah that's kind of my story

178

so now i find myself ready to date at 42

179

and yeah it's not unfortunately not desirable in the market

180

which I don't feel that way about me but the data

181

that I have had reflected back to me seems to have swung

182

that way yeah I mean you've touched on it before

183

but why do you think younger women with less burden from the family society

184

and so on why do you think fewer Asian people are dating you know stuck in their room watching Netflix

185

or you know not getting married why you think

186

that as a singapore born person who has singaporean parents

187

and uh has lived here um you know for a long

188

time you've got a super educated i can just talk singapore specifically right super super educated workforce um for women

189

and and men and i think that and they're also cosmopolitan they're really exposed

190

and i think when you're like

191

that maybe maybe we are pickier maybe we um we're also very risk averse culturally

192

so you're actually dating thinking of all the things

193

that could go wrong here like like

194

and then you're highly intelligent then you know um

195

and i think that's part of what is wonderful about the singapore national character it's why we do

196

so well in the crisis etc etc but i wonder if

197

that um intercepts romance sometimes because they're very pragmatic right um yeah i wonder

198

if that could be i'm just speaking for singapore specifically um adding to

199

that there is actually a statistics like a survey

200

that i'm well you simone just told us about singaporean point

201

of view i will talk about northeast asian point of view

202

so there was a survey conducted by nippon foundation in japan

203

and they asked people who said i will i have no

204

plans of getting married in the near future um asked why

205

and the 40 of the respondents said they prefer to be just single.

206

They just like being single.

207

And 33 % said they can't see any benefits out of marriage.

208

And in South Korea, they did a similar, you know, survey in 2022, and majority of them said they haven't saved up money,

209

enough money to get married.

210

And also, there were answers like unstable unemployment.

211

So there's like all these sorts of social, you know, problems all combined all together so that they came down to a conclusion that

212

We're just going to make marriage and having birth as an option.

213

As we've been talking about it, Asian governments have been trying practically everything to try to get young people to start dating and have children.

214

All of them have practically failed in terms of boosting the birth rate.

215

And, you know, the population is shrinking a lot faster, especially in Japan, than even estimated do you think there's something

216

that a government could have done

217

which may have persuaded younger Simone to get married have children

218

or you know change you know change your personal journey

219

so I'm going to talk in terms of the just basic human connection science stuff

220

that I do with my job all the time so

221

when you have high pressure and that could come from education high cost of living

222

or rigid social norms japan and korea most rigid social norms in the world um

223

when we're in fight or flight like that

224

and we're full of those stress hormones even from very young we don't connect as well with others for friendship

225

or even for romance um oxytocin the social bonding hormone

226

that really comes alive when we're relaxed i just think that

227

if you have high stress high pressure societies um

228

that can make it more difficult to less connect maybe academic

229

and other pressure you can say it however you want i

230

mean i love living in a city with the most you

231

know highly educated people in the world practically i mean i love i love the intellectual sparring

232

that comes living in a place like singapore

233

but all i can tell you is that's the science of how it works like

234

that oxytocin we need that um and

235

when we're stressed it decreases Do you think like government trying to chip into people's love life, love life is effective?

236

Do you think it's an effective way to?

237

I think it's so complex so one size fits all strategy could serve

238

when they survey you know could serve a good chunk

239

but there are always going to be other nuanced reasons

240

and let's work backwards that means there's no longer a timeline for dating you can be 60

241

and now live to 100 and meet your future partner um

242

that changes all the goal posts i think it's very varied yeah

243

and i guess from the the government's point of view trying to just do anything everything possible so

244

that the birth rate doesn't actually go down even more you

245

know it's kind of trying to keep it yes low

246

but not falling off the cliff is what they're doing at

247

the moment i guess from the Asian mentality of you know

248

a kid outside an official marriage is still kind of seen as a taboo in Asia compared to Europe

249

so I guess while not all married couples would have children

250

but if you're not dating and

251

if you don't get married you can't really expect a lot

252

of Asians to end up having kids I just had one more question to Simone yeah there are

253

so many policies around the world to boost birth rate

254

and merits rate and among that what do you think is the most like effective way

255

that would actually like change your mind is it like giving out cash

256

or is it like work like balance improvement

257

or you know okay I absolutely did want to be a mother

258

and get married I never thought it wouldn't happen for me

259

but it was very specific

260

that i had to be the right person in order to

261

be the partner of a potential child for me um

262

and anything less than that right person

263

because of the rigid social norms around marriage uh was not okay so the one thing that would change my mind

264

um is absolutely still

265

if the right person walked in people do say like young

266

people do say the most important thing is to find the right person um

267

which is why the government is maybe holding all these like dating events so

268

that they could expand the opportunity for young people to to

269

connect I can just say also as someone who all of my friends

270

and a lot of them happily married also a lot of divorce conversations

271

that I get in the left ear

272

but in the right ear even the most happily married girlfriends

273

their cognitive load is huge compared to my cognitive load I have to worry about my mother

274

but besides that it's pretty chill and that tells me

275

that even with the most loving marriage

276

and the best fit for a husband you could find being a wife

277

and mother is challenging and the burden is on the woman cognitively

278

and so you you better find

279

that right person it for me those conversations make the pressure to find the right person even higher yeah i guess Because,

280

as you say, no matter how much the government.. tries to help.

281

It's really difficult to change people's mind when it comes to dating

282

or having children but it was really interesting to hear your thoughts on more relaxed societies might be actually the cure.

283

Thank you so much for joining me Simone and Rachel.

284

Thank you.

285

You've been watching Asia Pacific from the BBC World Service with me Marie Gooi in Singapore.

286

If you have any questions or thoughts on what we covered in this episode

287

or any other stories from the region please leave us a

288

comment below you can also get in touch with us on email

289

asiaspecific at bbc .co .uk and click like and subscribe so you never miss an episode see you next time

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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon

Cette leçon d’expression orale s’appuie sur la vidéo « '연애, 혼인, 출생 모두 감소'... 아시아에 무슨 일이? - BBC News 코리아 ». Cette vidéo contient 289 phrases et 3439 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 20:37. Le locuteur parle à un rythme naturel d’environ 167 mots par minute, proche d’une conversation courante. 86 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais ; le reste mérite d’être vu avant de commencer.

Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo

15 mots de la vidéo à retenir, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :

Mot	Prononciation	Sens
fewer	/ˈfjuː.ɚ/	moins (de)
echo nom	/ˈɛk.oʊ/	écho
conclusion nom	/kənˈkluːʒən/	conclusion, fin
connect verbe	/kəˈnɛkt/	accoupler, connecter
burden nom	/ˈbɝdn̩/	charge, fardeau
practically adverbe	/ˈpɹæk.tɪ.k(ə.)li/	pratiquement
cognitive adjectif	/ˈkɑɡ.nɪ.tɪv/	cognitif
workforce nom	/ˈwɝk.foɹs/	main-d'œuvre, personnel
norm nom	/nɔːm/	norme
demographic adjectif	/ˌdɛm.əˈɡɹæf.ɪk/	démographique
educate verbe	/ˈɛd͡ʒ.əˌkeɪt/	éduquer
fertility nom	/fɝˈtɪləti/	fertilité
rigid adjectif	/ˈɹɪd͡ʒ.ɪd/	rigide
loneliness nom	/ˈloʊnlinəs/	solitude
bonus nom	/ˈbəʊ.nəs/	bonus

Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez

Mot	Sens
end up verbe	se terminer, se finir
come up with verbe	inventer, imaginer
go down verbe	descendre
go through verbe	traverser

Des phrases à répéter

Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :

Why do you think that?
I'm married with three kids.
That I'm not really sure.
Do you think it's an effective way to?

La grammaire de cette vidéo

Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :

Structure	Dans la vidéo
Present perfect continu have/has been + -ing — une action commencée avant et toujours en cours	have been scrambling · we've been talking · You've been watching
Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant	haven't saved · have been announced · has made
Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait	were born · have been announced · were coupled
Propositions relatives who / which + proposition — une précision sur une personne ou une chose	those who know · one who were · women who went

Prononciation à surveiller

Le locuteur utilise 64 contractions et formes réduites, comme we're, I'm, they're. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.

Les sons « th »: altogether /ɔl.tuˈɡɛð.ɚ/, northeast /noːˈθɪjst/, empathize /ˈɛmpəˌθaɪz/
Les sons « sh » et « zh »: conclusion /kənˈkluːʒən/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, potentially /pəˈtɛnʃ(ə)li/, relation /ɹɪˈleɪʃ(ə)n/, pension /ˈpɛnʃən/
Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: practically /ˈpɹæk.tɪ.k(ə.)li/, demographic /ˌdɛm.əˈɡɹæf.ɪk/, fertility /fɝˈtɪləti/, unemployment /ʌn.ɪmˈplɔɪ.mənt/, potentially /pəˈtɛnʃ(ə)li/

Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :

/h/ — il se souffle, il n’est pas muet: happily /ˈhæp.ə.li/, hormone /ˈhoɹmoʊn/, hobby /ˈhɑ.bi/, hopeful /ˈhoʊpfl̩/
/tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: educate /ˈɛd͡ʒ.əˌkeɪt/, rigid /ˈɹɪd͡ʒ.ɪd/, encourage /ɪnˈkʌɹ.ɪd͡ʒ/, chip /t͡ʃɪp/, intellectual /ˌɪntəˈlɛkt͡ʃʊəl/
/r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: practically /ˈpɹæk.tɪ.k(ə.)li/, workforce /ˈwɝk.foɹs/, demographic /ˌdɛm.əˈɡɹæf.ɪk/, rigid /ˈɹɪd͡ʒ.ɪd/, encourage /ɪnˈkʌɹ.ɪd͡ʒ/

Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo

Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme fewer, echo, conclusion.

Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?

Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.

Technique du shadowing : lire le guide complet étape par étape →

Pratique du Shadowing: '연애, 혼인, 출생 모두 감소'... 아시아에 무슨 일이? - BBC News 코리아 - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo

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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon

Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo

Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez

Des phrases à répéter

La grammaire de cette vidéo

Prononciation à surveiller

Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo

Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?