Pratique du Shadowing: How to Get Over Someone Who Doesn’t Want You Back - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
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271 phrases
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He doesn't want you back.
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He maybe never did want you.
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He's broken up with you or you've broken up with him or you've given him an ultimatum and he's not fulfilled it.
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He's just fine with it.
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He's fine with the fact that you've broken up with him.
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It's over.
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It's done.
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But you are suffering and we've been there.
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Or maybe he's cheated on you and you know you've got to let him go
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or he's doing red flag behavior and you know you've got to let him go
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because you've seen all the content you've seen out there like let him go girl move on
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but in your heart you know
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that this person is for you you know beyond any shadow of a doubt
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that maybe just another chance maybe just another way to look at this situation maybe
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if we just pivot it in another way maybe you will see
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that actually he wants you what is the last thing that you can write to him and say
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what can you say to change his mind on how he
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sees you you've done too much you you were erratic in the relationship you demanded a lot you thought
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that you would win and and not win something
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but win at the game of affection i guess and love
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and maybe he was good to you but you demanded
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so much and now he's gone cold and now he's focusing on his studies
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or work and it's time to let go
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maybe your husband was having an affair and it's time to detach it's time
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because in this life you must understand that when somebody doesn't want you
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or somebody's not for you it is protection it is not
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something that's being snatched away from you it is not to hurt you it's being taken away from you
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because it was never meant for you you were meant for something better and bigger.
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I was in a relationship in the past with somebody who, when I was in my teens, with somebody who was like my best friend.
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I spent my time with him all the time.
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Should have really been my friend, my best friend, but was in a relationship, right?
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Because that's what happens with men and women.
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And I'm the type of person, because I maybe didn't get enough attention from my dad in my childhood or any,
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I put everything aside in order to be with this person.
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And you know what I did with my life?
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Nothing.
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Baby girl, nothing.
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And so when I got into the relationship I am in now, that's been 10 years, in the beginning,
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it was a fight and a struggle because I wanted so much time and attention with this person.
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And I thought he was the problem
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because the amount of time he wanted to spend was not the amount of time I wanted to spend.
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And only in the detachment
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and the letting go have I found who I was truly meant to be
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and lo and behold he now wants to spend all his time with me
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and I'm like can you get a life get away from
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me stop calling me no I'm joking I kid of course I kid we've got a life
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and kids together and everything so it's different but it's more
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so that the moment you let go
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and you detach of exactly the thing you're chasing is
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when you get the thing that you are craving
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and sometimes the thing that you think you want is not what you need
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because what I needed is time to love myself
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and be with myself in order to meet myself again
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and not try and hide in relationships like I did
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when I was a teenager like I would literally disappear into relationships like sugar
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and hot tea gone and by being with the person I'm with now
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and by realizing that I've got so much more to give the book I've written
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the courses i've done what i do here on this podcast on youtube all of it is for a purpose
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and would have never happened
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if i in my stupid animal brain was just running around after the idea of what i thought i wanted
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which was closeness with somebody who perhaps didn't even want me you know
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which was my second relationship sometimes you miss the fantasy you miss the time you invested not the person
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so let me give you eight steps or so as per usual i've got it written down on my phone here.
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And we're going to go through them.
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Number one, you don't miss him.
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You miss the investment.
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This is the truest thing known to man.
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You miss the time, the memories, the effort that you put in because us as women, we really lean in.
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We lean into the relationship.
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And for you to say the year that I invested, the time I took, and then he's turned around
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or I've turned around or he's cheating or whatever it is that's ended the relationship is not freaking fair.
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Because I have invested so much in this.
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You miss the time.
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You can always make more money.
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You can always get more things, but you can't get your time back.
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And that hurts.
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It's normal to want a return of your emotional investment.
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You gave up your life force, your time for this person, and you believed him. And it's not true.
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But by continuing it, you need to reframe.
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Let that time go.
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continuing the pursuit of this person who has shown you in no way
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that he is for you or wants you or likes you
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or anything is actually the wastage of more time
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and more life force we have one go around this earth i gave my love
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and that's a strength not a loss that's your mantra i
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believed in someone i gave them love he cheated he doesn't
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want me anymore i'm not for him he lost to spark whatever it is
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that he's told you go oh okay i miss the energy
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that i gave him not him i miss my time
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and investment not him he is not the magic the magic
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is the time you gave him he is just some person like any other person walking down the street
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and goodness is where you water it right that's where the grass is greenest number two you saw the signs
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but you overrode them.
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You're not crazy.
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You knew, but you wanted to believe the potential.
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You wanted to believe the potential of somebody, and that is a lesson for you for the future.
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You saw all the signs.
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You wanted to believe the potential.
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He said he's not interested.
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He said he just isn't ready for a relationship, but somehow you got to a place where you're both comfortable.
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Self-forgiveness is the first step of detachment.
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Instead of thinking, oh, he tricked me, or he did this and
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that to me i hate old man no blessings blessings to
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you let the doorknob hit you with the good lord split
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you i am not on the wrong side of history i
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loved you i believed in us what did i feel
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and what did i ignore
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and what would i tell my friend had i seen the
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situation we need to learn from things number three you're personalizing their rejection his inability to love you
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or not want you
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or not see your magic is not about you it's about his inability to do
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so you weren't too much you weren't too little you weren't
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too not mysterious you weren't too funny you weren't too crazy
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you weren't too much for him there is no message you can write
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that will change that there is no text message i'm speaking to you
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because i see you in my dms what can i write
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to him to change this i did this i did that i acted crazy what can i write nothing nothing
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you can just love yourself love yourself
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and love people in your life the way he failed to
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love me says nothing about my capacity to love myself more
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so the reason to love yourself if somebody does not love you
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and cannot love you is that not more the reason to love yourself
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if you were a small child
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that had no love in their life wouldn't you therefore need
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all the love you could get as opposed to he abandoned you
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and now you abandon you number four block mute
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and archive protect your peace he does not want to exist
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in your world you do not want to look at the world
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that you guys created together your nervous system can't heal
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and it's not designed to heal as a human being with constant reintroductions of this person into your ether
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and into your energy
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and into your life let this season of your life just be about you
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and no contact no punishment no posting thirst traps no posting mosquito get out of here that's him That's him.
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That's your ex coming to haunt me in my car when I'm trying to talk to you with his vampiric nature.
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Don't try and punish him.
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Don't try and speed up healing.
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Don't try and go on a girl's trip.
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Don't try and, like, take up some random hobby.
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Just stop.
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But don't be in his ether.
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Out of sight equals out of love for you right now.
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It's out of limbo.
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You need, you don't need to post things that are gonna like make him regret his choices.
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You know what I mean?
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This mosquito is gonna like ruin life as your ex is trying to do to you.
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Do you understand?
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Number five, let go of the final word.
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I know babe, I know you want to be understood.
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I know you want to write the monologue i know you
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want to write the soliloquy i know you want to write
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the thing i know you want to make him regret how he lost you
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and he will in due time and due course
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but the more you lean in and the more you chase
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that the further away it's going to be the moment you forget him on one sunny spring morning
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when you wake up
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and you think about the eggs you're going to have for
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breakfast as opposed to him that's the moment he'll miss you
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men feel energetic ties human beings do you want closure quickly
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not naturally it naturally happens with time you cannot force closure
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you don't need to choose him in order for you to choose yourself
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if you want to write the message in your own diary
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but never say it send it say it out loud release it burn it do your witchy girl thing
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but don't send it don't send it one of you in
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my dms wrote to me i've wrote my boyfriend this message was
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so long it took her three instagram dms because it was
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so long to send to me a third party perfect stranger i could not read through it
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and the heartbreaking message he wrote back to her was sorry
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message a bit too long to read hope you're well let go of the final word there is nothing
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that you are going to say that's going to make him regret losing you as much as you moving on
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and glowing up and becoming the best version of yourself.
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Six, create emotional landmarks in your day.
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You are going to be dopamine deprived
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and you're going to be feeling a level of emptiness after the detachment process takes place.
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Anchor your days with coffee, music, ideas of what you want to achieve,
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work, coffee in the sun, movement, non-negotiables, candles.
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Your affirmation needs to be, this is how I remember that I am home for myself.
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I am home.
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I am my safe space.
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I need to nurture myself in the inner child that feels so rejected right now.
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You need to have emotional landmarks to give yourself those dopamine highs outside of the person that rejected you.
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Number seven, channel the obsession into momentum.
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I don't care how you put it, but this is one of those times where you have the option to become the hottest,
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sexiest, coolest, brainiest, fastest, Usain Bolt version of yourself that you've ever been.
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You're not broken.
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You've just got to fire up your ass right now.
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You're wired for attachment.
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It's natural that you miss that person, but it will go away.
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I know you don't remember your first ex that you're not over.
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And I know you're like, no, no, no, it was meant to be.
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This is the one.
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And if it's meant to be, then it will happen again.
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Sometimes in these rare cases, and I wouldn't usually say this, but I'll say it to you now.
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You can get that person back by truly becoming yourself and moving on with your life.
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And then they see you from a different lens.
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Because sometimes anxious attachment is very overbearing for someone to witness.
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So if you have been overbearing and horrendous to be with on that person's soul, then there is nothing you can write
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or do to make them change how they feel
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but you can be more yourself the energy
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that was once over functioning for him is now poured into the next step of your life
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and development that thing you've always wanted to do you've got the life force to do it now
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because it's been barreling towards him and the relationship
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and what you want to do with him
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and how you're going to be
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and now it's got nowhere to go it's like this waterfall that's got nowhere to gush towards
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and it should go towards everything you've wanted to create and because you, being a feminine energy creature, need to understand how much power that holds.
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If you want to understand it, 20 Feminine Energy Principles is something that you find on my website.
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And it will explain the power you have.
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Body, business, boundaries, the three B's.
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Start with those.
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Focus on your body you like your body great is it healthy great set some goals run a marathon business
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because when you can run a business it really sets you free in a lot of ways
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and boundaries let's not get into the situation again okay baby
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cakes number eight don't wait to feel better to start acting secure mm-hmm
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confidence doesn't come from from being like at the end goal it comes from showing up for yourself the development
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and the constant showing up no matter what for yourself again and again
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and again like somebody you trust like an old friend show
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up as the best version of yourself every day for yourself
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show up as your best friend you feel like shit you
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look like shit cool what would your best friend dude
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but like come on get up take your hair out of
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that bun do whatever you gotta do what would that person
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that you want to be like
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that main character what would she be like what would she
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do what would she wear what would she say no to
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to be honest she wouldn't be with your ex would she
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number nine learn how to sit in longing without acting on
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it part of the human experience is learning to suffer i know i am sounding like a monk right now
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but it is
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and trust me missing this x of yours is not sadly the worst suffering
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that you might experience
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so it's it's it's sitting in the seasons it's sitting in the highs it's sitting in the lows
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because if you never experienced lows
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and this kind of like angst then you would never experience passion
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and love either you just wouldn't you don't need to act
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on it you don't need to go pursue them you don't
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need to put a band-aid over your feelings you just you
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can feel them walk straight through them walk through them be
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in them show up now as as the person who can
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traverse hard things master it forge yourself into the iron
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that you potentially have text a friend do a walk feel
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the pain you will be okay i can feel this without
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breaking you can feel this without breaking 10 become the woman he can't reach anymore
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that is the best revenge become the woman he cannot get
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again the point is not like this mosquito christ lord tell
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your ex to get out of my car the point is not to punish him
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or hurt him okay it's not to get him back
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but it is to motivate you to align with that energy
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because i know that that's what you're obsessed with right now like how will he regret
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if i don't tell him all the time what he's missing
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what he's lost how will he regret he will regret by you becoming the woman he cannot reach
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that is your power you are now the one woman in
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the world he can't reach for sure you know make this
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your era of becoming her her the woman you always wanted to be with
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because you know that ex of yours he cannot be about him not to prove a point
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but to come back to home to who you're meant to be
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because I know you've lost yourself in your obsession about him, haven't you?
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You don't need to be wanted to be worthy.
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You need to want yourself to be worthy.
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You don't need to be chosen to be cherished by someone.
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You need to cherish yourself.
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You are healing because you can walk away.
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It feels like you will crumble and you won't survive because this person is not in your life.
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But that's not how we're built.
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That's just your lizard brain thinking that the tribe's abandoned you
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and now you're gonna die in the Sahara or the Arctic or wherever you're from.
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But you won't.
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And in fact very very very very soon you won't even remember who he was.
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The whole story is about you it's not about him.
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I love you lots of jelly tots and I'll see you on the next one.
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Bye.
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Bye.
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale de niveau B2 s’appuie sur la vidéo « How to Get Over Someone Who Doesn’t Want You Back ». Cette vidéo contient 271 phrases et 3100 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 16:53. Le locuteur parle vite, environ 184 mots par minute : attendez-vous à des liaisons et à des sons réduits. 89 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais, le vocabulaire est donc facile à suivre.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
Les 15 mots les plus avancés de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| heal verbe | /ˈhiːl/ | guérir, assainir |
| detachment nom | /dɪˈtæt͡ʃmənt/ | détachement |
| mosquito nom | /məsˈki.toʊ/ | moustique, maringouin |
| abandon verbe | /əˈbæn.dən/ | abandonner |
| cheat verbe | /ˈt͡ʃiːt/ | tricher |
| lean verbe | /ˈliːn/ | pencher |
| detach verbe | /dɪˈtæt͡ʃ/ | détacher |
| dopamine nom | /ˈdoʊ.pəˌmin/ | dopamine |
| ether nom | /ˈi.θɚ/ | éther |
| overbearing adjectif | dominateur, despotique | |
| cherish verbe | /ˈt͡ʃɛɹɪʃ/ | chérir, tenir (à) |
| attachment nom | /əˈtæt͡ʃmənt/ | attachement |
| landmark nom | /ˈlændmɑːk/ | repère, point de repère |
| obsession nom | /əbˈsɛʃən/ | idée fixe |
| feminine adjectif | /ˈfɛmɪnɪn/ | féminin |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| show up verbe | apparaître, se montrer se pointer | |
| turn around verbe | retourner | |
| get up verbe | se lever | |
| give up verbe | se rendre | |
| go away verbe | partir, s'en aller | |
| go through verbe | traverser | |
| run around verbe | courir partout | |
| speed up verbe | /spiːdˈʌp/ | accélérer |
Des phrases à répéter
Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :
- He doesn't want you back.
- Number one, you don't miss him.
- You know what I mean?
- You don't need to be wanted to be worthy.
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continu have/has been + -ing — une action commencée avant et toujours en cours | have been overbearing · it's been barreling |
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | you've broken · we've been · you've seen |
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | being snatched · was never meant · was truly meant |
| Propositions relatives who / which + proposition — une précision sur une personne ou une chose | somebody who was · somebody who perhaps · person who has |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 98 contractions et formes réduites, comme don't, you're, you've. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « th »: ether /ˈi.θɚ/, thirst /θɝst/, marathon /ˈmæɹəθən/
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: cherish /ˈt͡ʃɛɹɪʃ/, obsession /əbˈsɛʃən/, punish /ˈpʌnɪʃ/, closure /ˈkloʊ.ʒɚ/, affirmation /æfɝˈmeɪʃn/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: inability /ˌɪnəˈbɪlɪti/, negotiable /nɪˈɡoʊʃəbəl/, personalize /ˈpɜː.sə.nə.laɪz/, soliloquy /səˈlɪləkwi/, ultimatum /ˌʌl.tɪˈmeɪ.təm/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /h/ — il se souffle, il n’est pas muet: heal /ˈhiːl/, horrendous /həˈɹɛndəs/, haunt /hɔnt/, behold /bɪˈhəʊld/, hobby /ˈhɑ.bi/
- /tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: detachment /dɪˈtæt͡ʃmənt/, cheat /ˈt͡ʃiːt/, detach /dɪˈtæt͡ʃ/, cherish /ˈt͡ʃɛɹɪʃ/, attachment /əˈtæt͡ʃmənt/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: cherish /ˈt͡ʃɛɹɪʃ/, boundary /ˈbaʊndɹi/, brainy /ˈbɹeɪni/, crumble /ˈkɹʌmbəl/, deprive /dɪˈpɹaɪv/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme heal, detachment, mosquito.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.