쉐도잉 연습: How to Get Over Someone Who Doesn’t Want You Back - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기

He doesn't want you back.

He maybe never did want you.

He's broken up with you or you've broken up with him or you've given him an ultimatum and he's not fulfilled it.

He's just fine with it.

He's fine with the fact that you've broken up with him.

It's over.

It's done.

But you are suffering and we've been there.

Or maybe he's cheated on you and you know you've got to let him go

or he's doing red flag behavior and you know you've got to let him go

because you've seen all the content you've seen out there like let him go girl move on

but in your heart you know

that this person is for you you know beyond any shadow of a doubt

that maybe just another chance maybe just another way to look at this situation maybe

if we just pivot it in another way maybe you will see

that actually he wants you what is the last thing that you can write to him and say

what can you say to change his mind on how he

sees you you've done too much you you were erratic in the relationship you demanded a lot you thought

that you would win and and not win something

but win at the game of affection i guess and love

and maybe he was good to you but you demanded

so much and now he's gone cold and now he's focusing on his studies

or work and it's time to let go

maybe your husband was having an affair and it's time to detach it's time

because in this life you must understand that when somebody doesn't want you

or somebody's not for you it is protection it is not

something that's being snatched away from you it is not to hurt you it's being taken away from you

because it was never meant for you you were meant for something better and bigger.

I was in a relationship in the past with somebody who, when I was in my teens, with somebody who was like my best friend.

I spent my time with him all the time.

Should have really been my friend, my best friend, but was in a relationship, right?

Because that's what happens with men and women.

And I'm the type of person, because I maybe didn't get enough attention from my dad in my childhood or any,

I put everything aside in order to be with this person.

And you know what I did with my life?

Nothing.

Baby girl, nothing.

And so when I got into the relationship I am in now, that's been 10 years, in the beginning,

it was a fight and a struggle because I wanted so much time and attention with this person.

And I thought he was the problem

because the amount of time he wanted to spend was not the amount of time I wanted to spend.

And only in the detachment

and the letting go have I found who I was truly meant to be

and lo and behold he now wants to spend all his time with me

and I'm like can you get a life get away from

me stop calling me no I'm joking I kid of course I kid we've got a life

and kids together and everything so it's different but it's more

so that the moment you let go

and you detach of exactly the thing you're chasing is

when you get the thing that you are craving

and sometimes the thing that you think you want is not what you need

because what I needed is time to love myself

and be with myself in order to meet myself again

and not try and hide in relationships like I did

when I was a teenager like I would literally disappear into relationships like sugar

and hot tea gone and by being with the person I'm with now

and by realizing that I've got so much more to give the book I've written

the courses i've done what i do here on this podcast on youtube all of it is for a purpose

and would have never happened

if i in my stupid animal brain was just running around after the idea of what i thought i wanted

which was closeness with somebody who perhaps didn't even want me you know

which was my second relationship sometimes you miss the fantasy you miss the time you invested not the person

so let me give you eight steps or so as per usual i've got it written down on my phone here.

And we're going to go through them.

Number one, you don't miss him.

You miss the investment.

This is the truest thing known to man.

You miss the time, the memories, the effort that you put in because us as women, we really lean in.

We lean into the relationship.

And for you to say the year that I invested, the time I took, and then he's turned around

or I've turned around or he's cheating or whatever it is that's ended the relationship is not freaking fair.

Because I have invested so much in this.

You miss the time.

You can always make more money.

You can always get more things, but you can't get your time back.

And that hurts.

It's normal to want a return of your emotional investment.

You gave up your life force, your time for this person, and you believed him. And it's not true.

But by continuing it, you need to reframe.

Let that time go.

continuing the pursuit of this person who has shown you in no way

that he is for you or wants you or likes you

or anything is actually the wastage of more time

and more life force we have one go around this earth i gave my love

and that's a strength not a loss that's your mantra i

believed in someone i gave them love he cheated he doesn't

want me anymore i'm not for him he lost to spark whatever it is

that he's told you go oh okay i miss the energy

that i gave him not him i miss my time

and investment not him he is not the magic the magic

is the time you gave him he is just some person like any other person walking down the street

and goodness is where you water it right that's where the grass is greenest number two you saw the signs

but you overrode them.

You're not crazy.

You knew, but you wanted to believe the potential.

You wanted to believe the potential of somebody, and that is a lesson for you for the future.

You saw all the signs.

You wanted to believe the potential.

He said he's not interested.

100

He said he just isn't ready for a relationship, but somehow you got to a place where you're both comfortable.

101

Self-forgiveness is the first step of detachment.

102

Instead of thinking, oh, he tricked me, or he did this and

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that to me i hate old man no blessings blessings to

104

you let the doorknob hit you with the good lord split

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you i am not on the wrong side of history i

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loved you i believed in us what did i feel

107

and what did i ignore

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and what would i tell my friend had i seen the

109

situation we need to learn from things number three you're personalizing their rejection his inability to love you

110

or not want you

111

or not see your magic is not about you it's about his inability to do

112

so you weren't too much you weren't too little you weren't

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too not mysterious you weren't too funny you weren't too crazy

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you weren't too much for him there is no message you can write

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that will change that there is no text message i'm speaking to you

116

because i see you in my dms what can i write

117

to him to change this i did this i did that i acted crazy what can i write nothing nothing

118

you can just love yourself love yourself

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and love people in your life the way he failed to

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love me says nothing about my capacity to love myself more

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so the reason to love yourself if somebody does not love you

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and cannot love you is that not more the reason to love yourself

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if you were a small child

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that had no love in their life wouldn't you therefore need

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all the love you could get as opposed to he abandoned you

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and now you abandon you number four block mute

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and archive protect your peace he does not want to exist

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in your world you do not want to look at the world

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that you guys created together your nervous system can't heal

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and it's not designed to heal as a human being with constant reintroductions of this person into your ether

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and into your energy

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and into your life let this season of your life just be about you

133

and no contact no punishment no posting thirst traps no posting mosquito get out of here that's him That's him.

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That's your ex coming to haunt me in my car when I'm trying to talk to you with his vampiric nature.

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Don't try and punish him.

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Don't try and speed up healing.

137

Don't try and go on a girl's trip.

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Don't try and, like, take up some random hobby.

139

Just stop.

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But don't be in his ether.

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Out of sight equals out of love for you right now.

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It's out of limbo.

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You need, you don't need to post things that are gonna like make him regret his choices.

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You know what I mean?

145

This mosquito is gonna like ruin life as your ex is trying to do to you.

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Do you understand?

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Number five, let go of the final word.

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I know babe, I know you want to be understood.

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I know you want to write the monologue i know you

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want to write the soliloquy i know you want to write

151

the thing i know you want to make him regret how he lost you

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and he will in due time and due course

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but the more you lean in and the more you chase

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that the further away it's going to be the moment you forget him on one sunny spring morning

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when you wake up

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and you think about the eggs you're going to have for

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breakfast as opposed to him that's the moment he'll miss you

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men feel energetic ties human beings do you want closure quickly

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not naturally it naturally happens with time you cannot force closure

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you don't need to choose him in order for you to choose yourself

161

if you want to write the message in your own diary

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but never say it send it say it out loud release it burn it do your witchy girl thing

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but don't send it don't send it one of you in

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my dms wrote to me i've wrote my boyfriend this message was

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so long it took her three instagram dms because it was

166

so long to send to me a third party perfect stranger i could not read through it

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and the heartbreaking message he wrote back to her was sorry

168

message a bit too long to read hope you're well let go of the final word there is nothing

169

that you are going to say that's going to make him regret losing you as much as you moving on

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and glowing up and becoming the best version of yourself.

171

Six, create emotional landmarks in your day.

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You are going to be dopamine deprived

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and you're going to be feeling a level of emptiness after the detachment process takes place.

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Anchor your days with coffee, music, ideas of what you want to achieve,

175

work, coffee in the sun, movement, non-negotiables, candles.

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Your affirmation needs to be, this is how I remember that I am home for myself.

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I am home.

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I am my safe space.

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I need to nurture myself in the inner child that feels so rejected right now.

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You need to have emotional landmarks to give yourself those dopamine highs outside of the person that rejected you.

181

Number seven, channel the obsession into momentum.

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I don't care how you put it, but this is one of those times where you have the option to become the hottest,

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sexiest, coolest, brainiest, fastest, Usain Bolt version of yourself that you've ever been.

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You're not broken.

185

You've just got to fire up your ass right now.

186

You're wired for attachment.

187

It's natural that you miss that person, but it will go away.

188

I know you don't remember your first ex that you're not over.

189

And I know you're like, no, no, no, it was meant to be.

190

This is the one.

191

And if it's meant to be, then it will happen again.

192

Sometimes in these rare cases, and I wouldn't usually say this, but I'll say it to you now.

193

You can get that person back by truly becoming yourself and moving on with your life.

194

And then they see you from a different lens.

195

Because sometimes anxious attachment is very overbearing for someone to witness.

196

So if you have been overbearing and horrendous to be with on that person's soul, then there is nothing you can write

197

or do to make them change how they feel

198

but you can be more yourself the energy

199

that was once over functioning for him is now poured into the next step of your life

200

and development that thing you've always wanted to do you've got the life force to do it now

201

because it's been barreling towards him and the relationship

202

and what you want to do with him

203

and how you're going to be

204

and now it's got nowhere to go it's like this waterfall that's got nowhere to gush towards

205

and it should go towards everything you've wanted to create and because you, being a feminine energy creature, need to understand how much power that holds.

206

If you want to understand it, 20 Feminine Energy Principles is something that you find on my website.

207

And it will explain the power you have.

208

Body, business, boundaries, the three B's.

209

Start with those.

210

Focus on your body you like your body great is it healthy great set some goals run a marathon business

211

because when you can run a business it really sets you free in a lot of ways

212

and boundaries let's not get into the situation again okay baby

213

cakes number eight don't wait to feel better to start acting secure mm-hmm

214

confidence doesn't come from from being like at the end goal it comes from showing up for yourself the development

215

and the constant showing up no matter what for yourself again and again

216

and again like somebody you trust like an old friend show

217

up as the best version of yourself every day for yourself

218

show up as your best friend you feel like shit you

219

look like shit cool what would your best friend dude

220

but like come on get up take your hair out of

221

that bun do whatever you gotta do what would that person

222

that you want to be like

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that main character what would she be like what would she

224

do what would she wear what would she say no to

225

to be honest she wouldn't be with your ex would she

226

number nine learn how to sit in longing without acting on

227

it part of the human experience is learning to suffer i know i am sounding like a monk right now

228

but it is

229

and trust me missing this x of yours is not sadly the worst suffering

230

that you might experience

231

so it's it's it's sitting in the seasons it's sitting in the highs it's sitting in the lows

232

because if you never experienced lows

233

and this kind of like angst then you would never experience passion

234

and love either you just wouldn't you don't need to act

235

on it you don't need to go pursue them you don't

236

need to put a band-aid over your feelings you just you

237

can feel them walk straight through them walk through them be

238

in them show up now as as the person who can

239

traverse hard things master it forge yourself into the iron

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that you potentially have text a friend do a walk feel

241

the pain you will be okay i can feel this without

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breaking you can feel this without breaking 10 become the woman he can't reach anymore

243

that is the best revenge become the woman he cannot get

244

again the point is not like this mosquito christ lord tell

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your ex to get out of my car the point is not to punish him

246

or hurt him okay it's not to get him back

247

but it is to motivate you to align with that energy

248

because i know that that's what you're obsessed with right now like how will he regret

249

if i don't tell him all the time what he's missing

250

what he's lost how will he regret he will regret by you becoming the woman he cannot reach

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that is your power you are now the one woman in

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the world he can't reach for sure you know make this

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your era of becoming her her the woman you always wanted to be with

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because you know that ex of yours he cannot be about him not to prove a point

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but to come back to home to who you're meant to be

256

because I know you've lost yourself in your obsession about him, haven't you?

257

You don't need to be wanted to be worthy.

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You need to want yourself to be worthy.

259

You don't need to be chosen to be cherished by someone.

260

You need to cherish yourself.

261

You are healing because you can walk away.

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It feels like you will crumble and you won't survive because this person is not in your life.

263

But that's not how we're built.

264

That's just your lizard brain thinking that the tribe's abandoned you

265

and now you're gonna die in the Sahara or the Arctic or wherever you're from.

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But you won't.

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And in fact very very very very soon you won't even remember who he was.

268

The whole story is about you it's not about him.

269

I love you lots of jelly tots and I'll see you on the next one.

270

Bye.

271

Bye.

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법

쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.

쉐도잉 연습: How to Get Over Someone Who Doesn’t Want You Back - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기

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