쉐도잉 연습: How To Love Without Attachment | Buddhism In English - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기
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One of the most frequent questions that I get asked from people is
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that people say that I fall in love with this person
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and I get too much attached to him or her and it hurts both of us, right?
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It hurts me and to the other person.
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How can I love someone without getting attached to that person?
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That is one of the frequent questions that people ask from me.
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Well, to understand about this, first of all, you need to understand what is the difference between love and attachment.
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I'll tell you the difference.
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If you are in love with someone, if you fall in love with someone, this means the pure love, the love, I would say.
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You say that I need you to be happy.
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Okay, that's what you say.
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I need you to be happy.
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If that happiness includes me, that's much better.
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If it does not include me, it's okay.
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Anyway, I need you to be happy in your life.
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That is love.
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And in attachment, you say, you need to make me happy.
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Okay?
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If they are not able to make you happy, then what do you say?
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Why aren't you making me happy?
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okay the love you give to me and the the things
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that you to do to me is not enough that's what you say
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that is called attachment okay so did you see the difference
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that means in love you think about other people's happiness okay as a result of thinking other people's happiness
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or wishing other people's happiness, you get the same thing back.
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Okay.
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But in an attachment, you wish your own happiness.
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Only that.
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You become, it's a form of selfishness.
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Okay.
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So this is the difference between love and attachment.
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So how attachment happens, here's how it happens.
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You see this person and you think like, oh, he or she is perfect for me.
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He's the best thing for me.
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and I want to be with that person forever.
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I need to be with him or her forever.
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I don't want to let that person go of my life.
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I don't want to let that person to live my life.
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I need to be with that person.
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In that case, you hold on to that person tightly.
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Okay.
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You grab that person and you don't want to let go of that person.
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Then what you do in the next step, you try to protect him or her.
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Okay.
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Sometimes you over protect him or her.
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So some people, they put restrictions.
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Okay.
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You You should not use social media.
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You should not go and talk with other people, right?
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You should not come out of house.
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Remember, the more you try to hold on to someone's life, okay?
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And the more you try to control someone's life, chances are very, very high for you to lose that person.
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Because if you dive into the Buddha's teachings, okay, when you dive in deep into Buddha's teachings,
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but it says that you live in your own private world as well as others.
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Okay.
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Same like you, other people are also living in their private world.
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You create your own private world.
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You create your own happiness.
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You create your own sadness and everything that you create is created by yourself.
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Okay.
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Your world is created by yourself.
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So it goes same with others.
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Okay.
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They are living in their private world.
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Okay.
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Same as you like to be happy and same as you like to be free, those people around you likes to be happy and free.
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Okay.
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So what happens when you try to put restrictions on someone?
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What happens is they don't like it.
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Okay.
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No one likes to be under, totally under control of someone.
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Okay.
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They need to have some sort of freedom in their life.
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So chances are very high for you to lose that person
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if you try to protect and overprotect and hold on to it and hold on to that person.
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And you think like I need to be with that person.
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And what happens next is you become afraid of losing that person.
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You think what if this guy or this person leave me.
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Okay.
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What will happen to me.
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Okay.
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My whole world will be a disaster.
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Remember, the reality of life is no one in this world is permanent.
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Everyone, everything, every experience in this life is subjected to change
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that is the reality of life so that is
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that is how attachment happens but in love you come to the reality okay
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when you love someone correctly and purely without too much attachment, you come to this reality,
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to this real world, you know that these people around me are not going to live forever with me.
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It's not going to happen.
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Now one of the things that Buddha advised us to remember every time, every single day and every single time it is
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that it is possible to remember Buddha said remember
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that everyone around you okay every person who loves you
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and who you love is going to leave you okay you
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have to be separated from these people I know it is painful it is difficult to think
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because we love people okay we're afraid of losing them.
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But one day, in one way or another, okay, and sooner or later, this will happen.
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At least at the death, it will happen.
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So we have to leave these people around us.
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Okay, we are not going to live forever.
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So when you realize that, that is the reality.
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Okay, when you realize that, you come to the reality and think, okay, I have a very, very little time with these people.
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Actually, the life is short.
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If nothing happened to us, we will live only for maybe like 85 years. Who knows?
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So life is very short.
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Then you know that I'm not going to live with this person forever.
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So what do you do?
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You show your love, affection, kindness and compassion to this person
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in the best way that you can in this little time because you know that you have a very little time
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okay
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so to love someone you need to understand the reality of
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life what is the reality of life everything is subjected to change okay everything is ever-changing
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that is called anicca in buddhism Okay.
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It is not permanent.
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It is impermanent.
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The second thing is
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that everyone in their own world is suffering okay we suffer in our own private worlds right
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so we have our own private and personal sufferings same like
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that others also are suffering in their life okay so
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if we expect that other people to fulfill all the needs and all the requirements 100% in our life,
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that's not going to happen.
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Realize it, okay?
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Because everyone personally is going through suffering.
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Understand about this.
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That is called Dukkha.
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And the third one is that no one in this world is totally under your control.
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You cannot control people around you totally, okay
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that is called anatta you can you're out of control of
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this world okay the problem is we worry about the people
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that we cannot control okay can you control people's behavior no you cannot do
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that can you control how people behave and how people treat you how people talk to you how people think about you.
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No, that is their own business.
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Okay.
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So what you can control is how you live in this,
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in your life, the way you live in your personal life that is totally under your control.
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So understand these three things.
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What is that?
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Everything is subjected to change.
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Everyone is suffering in their own worlds and not everyone in this world is totally under your control.
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This is called the truth in this life.
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This is called the reality in this life.
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Once you understand this, you know and you will learn how to be compassionate on people.
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Okay, how to love people and then you can wish no matter what happens to you.
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If you stay with me or if you did not stay with me, it's okay, I wish the good of you.
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I wish the happiness of you, okay?
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Then that love will never hurt you, okay?
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But attachment, when you get too much attached to people, it will definitely hurt you.
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So wish the good for everyone, wish the happiness on everyone and then you will find the peace that you are seeking for in your life.
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Namobuddhaya.
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상황과 배경
이 비디오에서는 불교의 관점에서 사랑과 집착의 차이를 설명하며, 상처 없는 사랑을 하는 방법에 대해 이야기합니다. 많은 사람들이 겪는 '사랑에 빠지면 집착이 생겨 서로를 다치게 한다'는 고민을 다루고, 사랑은 상대방의 행복을 바라는 마음이고 집착은 자신의 행복을 위한 이기적인 태도라는 것을 분명히 합니다. 일상적인 대화에서 자주 사용되는 표현과 함께 실용적인 메시지를 담고 있어 영어 학습자에게도 유용한 내용입니다.
일상 대화에 유용한 상위 5개 표현
- "fall in love with": ~에게 사랑에 빠지다. 예: "I fell in love with her kindness." (나는 그녀의 친절함에 사랑에 빠졌다.)
- "get attached to": ~에 집착하다/붙잡히다. 예: "Don't get too attached to material things." (물질적인 것에 너무 집착하지 마라.)
- "hold on to": ~를 붙잡다/놓지 않다. 예: "She held on to her memories tightly." (그녀는 추억을 단단히 붙잡고 있었다.)
- "over protect": 과도하게 보호하다. 예: "Parents sometimes over protect their kids." (부모는 가끔 자녀를 과도하게 보호한다.)
- "put restrictions": 제한을 두다. 예: "The company put restrictions on working hours." (회사는 근무 시간에 제한을 두었다.)
단계별 쉐도잉 가이드
이 비디오는 발음이 명확하고 속도가 중간이어서 영어 쉐도잉에 적합합니다. 다음 단계로 연습해 보세요.
- 청취하기: 비디오를 2-3번 듣고 전체 내용을 이해합니다. 사랑과 집착의 차이를 강조하는 부분을 주목하세요.
- 반복하기: 짧은 구절씩 나누어 듣고 즉시 따라합니다. "I need you to be happy"나 "You need to make me happy"와 같은 대조적인 표현은 발음과 어조를 살려 연습합니다.
- 표현 응용하기: 학습한 표현을 일상 대화에 사용해 보세요. "fall in love with"는 친구와의 이야기에서, "put restrictions"는 직장 상황에서 활용할 수 있습니다.
- 피드백 받기: 쉐도잉 사이트를 이용해 자신의 발음을 녹음하고 원본과 비교합니다. shadowspeak 또는 shadow speech와 같은 도구를 사용하면 더 효과적입니다.
지속적인 연습으로 자연스러운 영어 발음과 표현 능력을 키울 수 있습니다.
쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법
쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.