Практика Shadowing: How To Love Without Attachment | Buddhism In English - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео
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One of the most frequent questions that I get asked from people is
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that people say that I fall in love with this person
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and I get too much attached to him or her and it hurts both of us, right?
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It hurts me and to the other person.
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How can I love someone without getting attached to that person?
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That is one of the frequent questions that people ask from me.
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Well, to understand about this, first of all, you need to understand what is the difference between love and attachment.
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I'll tell you the difference.
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If you are in love with someone, if you fall in love with someone, this means the pure love, the love, I would say.
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You say that I need you to be happy.
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Okay, that's what you say.
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I need you to be happy.
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If that happiness includes me, that's much better.
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If it does not include me, it's okay.
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Anyway, I need you to be happy in your life.
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That is love.
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And in attachment, you say, you need to make me happy.
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Okay?
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If they are not able to make you happy, then what do you say?
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Why aren't you making me happy?
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okay the love you give to me and the the things
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that you to do to me is not enough that's what you say
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that is called attachment okay so did you see the difference
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that means in love you think about other people's happiness okay as a result of thinking other people's happiness
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or wishing other people's happiness, you get the same thing back.
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Okay.
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But in an attachment, you wish your own happiness.
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Only that.
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You become, it's a form of selfishness.
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Okay.
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So this is the difference between love and attachment.
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So how attachment happens, here's how it happens.
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You see this person and you think like, oh, he or she is perfect for me.
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He's the best thing for me.
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and I want to be with that person forever.
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I need to be with him or her forever.
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I don't want to let that person go of my life.
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I don't want to let that person to live my life.
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I need to be with that person.
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In that case, you hold on to that person tightly.
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Okay.
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You grab that person and you don't want to let go of that person.
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Then what you do in the next step, you try to protect him or her.
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Okay.
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Sometimes you over protect him or her.
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So some people, they put restrictions.
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Okay.
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You You should not use social media.
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You should not go and talk with other people, right?
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You should not come out of house.
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Remember, the more you try to hold on to someone's life, okay?
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And the more you try to control someone's life, chances are very, very high for you to lose that person.
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Because if you dive into the Buddha's teachings, okay, when you dive in deep into Buddha's teachings,
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but it says that you live in your own private world as well as others.
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Okay.
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Same like you, other people are also living in their private world.
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You create your own private world.
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You create your own happiness.
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You create your own sadness and everything that you create is created by yourself.
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Okay.
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Your world is created by yourself.
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So it goes same with others.
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Okay.
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They are living in their private world.
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Okay.
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Same as you like to be happy and same as you like to be free, those people around you likes to be happy and free.
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Okay.
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So what happens when you try to put restrictions on someone?
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What happens is they don't like it.
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Okay.
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No one likes to be under, totally under control of someone.
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Okay.
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They need to have some sort of freedom in their life.
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So chances are very high for you to lose that person
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if you try to protect and overprotect and hold on to it and hold on to that person.
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And you think like I need to be with that person.
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And what happens next is you become afraid of losing that person.
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You think what if this guy or this person leave me.
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Okay.
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What will happen to me.
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Okay.
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My whole world will be a disaster.
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Remember, the reality of life is no one in this world is permanent.
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Everyone, everything, every experience in this life is subjected to change
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that is the reality of life so that is
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that is how attachment happens but in love you come to the reality okay
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when you love someone correctly and purely without too much attachment, you come to this reality,
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to this real world, you know that these people around me are not going to live forever with me.
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It's not going to happen.
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Now one of the things that Buddha advised us to remember every time, every single day and every single time it is
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that it is possible to remember Buddha said remember
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that everyone around you okay every person who loves you
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and who you love is going to leave you okay you
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have to be separated from these people I know it is painful it is difficult to think
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because we love people okay we're afraid of losing them.
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But one day, in one way or another, okay, and sooner or later, this will happen.
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At least at the death, it will happen.
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So we have to leave these people around us.
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Okay, we are not going to live forever.
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So when you realize that, that is the reality.
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Okay, when you realize that, you come to the reality and think, okay, I have a very, very little time with these people.
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Actually, the life is short.
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If nothing happened to us, we will live only for maybe like 85 years. Who knows?
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So life is very short.
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Then you know that I'm not going to live with this person forever.
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So what do you do?
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You show your love, affection, kindness and compassion to this person
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in the best way that you can in this little time because you know that you have a very little time
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okay
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so to love someone you need to understand the reality of
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life what is the reality of life everything is subjected to change okay everything is ever-changing
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that is called anicca in buddhism Okay.
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It is not permanent.
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It is impermanent.
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The second thing is
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that everyone in their own world is suffering okay we suffer in our own private worlds right
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so we have our own private and personal sufferings same like
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that others also are suffering in their life okay so
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if we expect that other people to fulfill all the needs and all the requirements 100% in our life,
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that's not going to happen.
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Realize it, okay?
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Because everyone personally is going through suffering.
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Understand about this.
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That is called Dukkha.
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And the third one is that no one in this world is totally under your control.
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You cannot control people around you totally, okay
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that is called anatta you can you're out of control of
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this world okay the problem is we worry about the people
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that we cannot control okay can you control people's behavior no you cannot do
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that can you control how people behave and how people treat you how people talk to you how people think about you.
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No, that is their own business.
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Okay.
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So what you can control is how you live in this,
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in your life, the way you live in your personal life that is totally under your control.
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So understand these three things.
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What is that?
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Everything is subjected to change.
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Everyone is suffering in their own worlds and not everyone in this world is totally under your control.
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This is called the truth in this life.
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This is called the reality in this life.
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Once you understand this, you know and you will learn how to be compassionate on people.
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Okay, how to love people and then you can wish no matter what happens to you.
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If you stay with me or if you did not stay with me, it's okay, I wish the good of you.
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I wish the happiness of you, okay?
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Then that love will never hurt you, okay?
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But attachment, when you get too much attached to people, it will definitely hurt you.
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So wish the good for everyone, wish the happiness on everyone and then you will find the peace that you are seeking for in your life.
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Namobuddhaya.
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Контекст и общая идея
В видео речь идет о важной теме — любви без привязанности, раскрываемой через призму буддизма. Спикер объясняет разницу между истинной любовью и привязанностью, используя простые примеры из повседневной жизни. Диалог понятен, с яркими сравнениями, что делает его отличным материалом для практики английского: вы не только узнаете новые идеи, но и закрепите разговорный язык.
5 ключевых фраз для повседневной коммуникации
- "I get too much attached to him or her" — "Я слишком сильно привязываюсь к нему/ей". Полезна для выражения эмоциональной зависимости.
- "It hurts both of us" — "Это причиняет боль нам обоим". Упрощает описание взаимных эмоциональных травм.
- "You need to make me happy" — "Ты должен делать меня счастливым/ой". Характерна для высказываний привязанных людей.
- "Over protect him or her" — "Перезащищать его/ее". Описывает избыточную заботу, которая сглаживает личные границы.
- "Put restrictions" — "Навязывать ограничения". Подходит для разговоров о контроле в отношениях.
Пошаговый гид по shadow speech для этого видео
Чтобы эффективно практиковать shadowing английский на этом материале, следуйте этим шагам. Сначала прослушайте фрагмент видео (10–15 секунд) и обратите внимание на интонацию — спикер использует спокойный, разговорный тон, что удобно для повторения. Затем остановите запись и повторите фразу сразу, пытаясь скопировать ритм и ударения. Это поможет улучшить ваше произношение и чувство языка. Если вы новичок, используйте shadowing site для замедления видео (но не более чем на 25% — иначе теряется естественность). Проводите упражнение 5–7 раз на один фрагмент, пока не почувствуете, что вы говорите автоматически. Помните: shadow speech — это не о точности, а о синхронизации речи с носителем. Постепенно увеличивайте длительность фрагментов, и скоро вы заметите прогресс в разговорной речи!
Такой подход делает процесс учить английский по видео увлекательным и результативным. Пracтикуйте регулярно, и вы не только улучшите язык, но и узнаете много нового о себе!
Что такое техника Shadowing?
Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.