Pratique du Shadowing: Kumail Nanjiani's Handsome Squidward Paradigm Shift - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
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373 phrases
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1
I don't watch Spongebob, I was too old for it,
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but there's like one character who at some point must have gotten some work done or something Who's,
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is it, Squidward?
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You're referring to handsome Squidward Handsome Squidward Handsome Squidward!
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Yes You'll see handsome Squidward,
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whenever I post anything, you'll see a couple of handsome Squidwards in the comments There!
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I got like, oh god,
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I got like, I shrank from that Cause that picture,
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I see anytime I post anything,
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that f*ing picture and then there's another one of a handsome squidward like dancing or something.
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To me, that's like the face of my oppressor is handsome squidward.
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Hey everyone, it's The Rock.
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Welcome back to another talk.
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Today we've got a dilemma unlike any I've seen before.
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Today's subject is comedian, writer,
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and actor Kumail Nanjiani, who is under pressure for a phenomenally interesting reason,
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resulting in an equally fascinating response.
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Also, we've decided you're gonna be the first person we mock for getting in shape.
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What?
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How the fuck did that happen?
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That's happened to nobody else in the history of civilization.
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Why me?
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I had almost my entire life very,
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very tough relationship with my own appearance since I was a little kid.
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When I was like five,
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I was the most gorgeous kid you've ever seen.
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To the point where people on the street would make jokes about wanting to kidnap me.
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Shopkeepers were threatened to kidnap me.
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Wow.
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That's the ultimate compliment, by the way.
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Oh, you're kidnappable.
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Literally all the time, like if I walked in the store and I didn't get a compliment,
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I'd be like, what is wrong with these people?
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Wow.
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I was so gorgeous that life was like terrifying for me.
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And then it really changed.
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My neck got really long.
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I got four Adam's apples.
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My head got huge.
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I remember when it dawned on me,
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I was like, you know,
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nobody's threatened to kidnap me in a while.
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And then looking in the mirror being like,
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oh no. From that point on,
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I just thought of myself as being very ugly.
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I wouldn't go to a store because I thought they wouldn't sell me stuff because I was too ugly.
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It was really, really very intense.
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Just thinking of how I felt about myself when I was 14 and being able to articulate it now,
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It kind of breaks my heart for that like 14 year old.
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At a certain point I was like,
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and nobody will ever have sex with me.
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Like I had times in like my teens where I was like,
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nobody's ever going to have sex with me ever.
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They used to call me chicken shoulders at school.
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I don't even think of a chicken having shoulders.
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Exactly.
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Oh, I get it.
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And so I sort of became very obsessed with how I look from the age of like 10.
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It took years and years to get past that all through my 20s and even through my 30s.
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That's kind of why comedy was so important to me,
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where it doesn't matter how you look.
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I remember I was doing a show early on.
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I was with a handsome guy and I came back and I gained some way and he made fun of me.
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And I was like, I can look like anything and work just as much as I work now.
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You need to look like that to work.
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What did happen in that episode?
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I've never even looked it up.
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Why does he look like that?
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Okay, so in order to understand Kumail Nanjiani's Handsome Squidward paradigm shift,
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we have to first understand Squidward's Handsome Squidward paradigm shift.
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So, we're going back to the source material so that we can understand what it all means.
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Well, let's just pull it up, shall we?
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Ah, yes, there we go.
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Season 5.
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Yikes.
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Alright, let's see what's up.
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Right, so through a total accident...
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No!
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By the way!
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Ah!
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SpongeBob, you broke my face!
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Squidward becomes handsome through the blunt force trauma of being hit in the face by this metal door.
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Wait, that looks an awful lot like...
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BLAY DOOOOOO!
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He becomes beautiful.
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People immediately adore him.
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Everyone adores him.
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It is insane how handsome the Squid has become just by getting hit in the face by a f*ing door.
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I mean, that's awesome.
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Squid gets what he wants,
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love and adoration, by way of accidentally becoming Beauty Tribe.
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And there's no downsides to beauty, right?
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Customers!
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Everyone will get the opportunity to touch Squidward!
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What?
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Realizing that there's some fucked up downsides to this shit,
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Squidward realizes he would rather become himself again.
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Public life ain't all it's cracked up to be!
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I want my old life back!
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They try to reverse the paradigm shift by doing the exact same thing that got him there in the first place,
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hitting him over the face with the metal door.
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And SpongeBob really gets in there.
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But it only makes him more handsome!
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SpongeBob desperately tries to save Squidward from a falling shoe,
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leading into this beautiful shot of Squidward not dancing,
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but falling, towards the pillar of the restaurant which he lands into and miraculously reverts to his old self.
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And so, I find it fascinating
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that Squidward's handsome Squidward paradigm shift leads him down a road of temporary satisfaction but ultimate yearning for his originality.
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And, fascinatingly, in contrast, Kumail Nanjiani's handsome Squidward paradigm shift would involve opposites.
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Getting really buff for a role and people getting upset about it.
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Was that, like, difficult for you?
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Or were you just like,
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I am right, they're being weird.
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No, it was a f*ing nightmare.
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To sort of get in this kind of shape and worrying about how I looked again,
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it was kind of a mindfuck to sort of,
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it felt like I'd like regressed 10 years back.
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To then hit my 40s and suddenly have that come back in such a public and strong way,
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really got at like to what to me genuinely was like deep childhood trauma.
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There was a picture of me sitting across from Emily at Christmas,
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and I have like a gingerbread house next to me and I'm just sitting there.
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For some reason, people didn't like the way my jawline looked or something.
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People think I've gotten like work done.
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I have not ever gotten any work done.
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This is like the deep COVID.
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I'm full of fear because my wife is in a high risk group.
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We get super high and we're watching The Crow.
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And a friend of mine texted me,
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he's like, hey, I'm sorry about what's happening online.
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I'm super high.
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I look, and it's literally thousands of people on Twitter making fun of my face.
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Did you see it and then put the phone away?
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No. Or did you really dive in?
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I dove in.
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I swam in it.
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And then eventually, Emily was like,
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do not be on your phone.
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And I was like, okay,
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just tell me if it's still happening.
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And the next day, I woke up.
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Yeah, it's still happening.
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All day, I kept checking in.
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It's still happening.
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It was like the number one trending thing.
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It was like a thing.
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And then the next day I woke up,
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she's like, yeah, it's still happening.
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So it was like two days and then they moved on to the next door.
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There was right around that time,
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there was a dad who was like shitty to his kid about beans or something.
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Do you remember what I'm talking about?
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Very vaguely.
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It was like Bean Dad.
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Bean Dad!
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Yeah.
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I owe a debt of gratitude to fucking Bean Dad.
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Because he moved the conversation on.
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Everyone then was like, whoa, Bean Dad now.
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And they moved off of me.
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The hordes moved off of me.
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Went after Bean Dad.
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Bean Dad was like, you know what?
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I got you, buddy.
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He jumped in front of the bullets.
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So that was very, very tough and really like working through it with my therapist a lot.
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And it's still something that kind of comes up.
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Comments on whenever I post anything,
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someone will talk about that I fucked up my face or something.
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Oh, and I watched Eternals just,
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you know, research for this video and...
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All cute, like fun, like whatever,
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like stupid, like Mardi Gras.
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The unfortunate thing is that the movie bombed.
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I mean, like, it didn't bomb,
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but it didn't make 600 million dollars, so they're canceling it.
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It could have been its own shitty Avengers and everything.
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I thought it was gonna be a hit!
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It turns out it fucking sucks!
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And now he's just handsome squitted up for a single superhero movie,
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and nothing else queued up that requires him to be in that shape.
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The hard thing is, I am jacked,
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but I don't have the vibe of a jacked guy.
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Yeah, yeah!
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The meanest comment I've ever gotten,
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because it's true, someone was like,
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Well his voice didn't get abs.
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I was like, yeah, that is true.
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I don't have the vibe.
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I have the vibe of a dork from Pakistan.
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If like the Marvel shit takes off,
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because I saw you talking about it,
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where you're like, this is my life for a decade.
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Is there a party that's like,
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that seemed like a lot.
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Like, are you kind of happy or not in the like...
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No. Are you fucking kidding me?
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Oh yeah, by now I've been like four Marvel movies.
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What a bummer.
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Oh my God.
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This guy's movies have made two billion at the box office.
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Cash money Kumail!
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Yeah, with my luck that would be the backlash to that too.
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Like, this guy's movies are making too much money.
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Fuck that guy.
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No, because you know, if you do one of those a year,
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the rest of the year you can do whatever you want.
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And suddenly, you know, I can make like, True.
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10 million dollar movies that with my name get made.
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Right.
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I was really hoping you'd be like, yes, it's a prison.
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Oh my god.
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No, that would have been great.
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Are you fucking kidding me?
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Maybe the only guy in just one?
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Just one for me, thank you.
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I will never forget that you were like,
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in a way, it's a blessing in disguise, right?
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And so fascinatingly, while Squidward became handsome,
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loved it for a little bit,
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and then hated it because the love was too much,
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Kubel got in shape, liked it,
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and eventually received so much backlash for it that he became confused by it.
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You know, it was all his intention to work on his self-esteem,
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his self-image as he's been struggling his whole life,
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Only for him to get that and be rejected.
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Oh, he got amped?
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What a moron!
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What?!
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Who changed the rules?
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Why didn't anybody give me a heads up?
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Do you know how hard this was? And so...
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What's a Squidward to do after you paradigm shifted into a handsome life?
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What's your next move?
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Well, I believe this last piece of information can be found in digging deeper into not just Kumail's life,
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but his relationship with Emily,
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the love of his life.
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Well, if you don't know the story of how they met,
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it's been beautifully captured in the couple's breakout screenplay, The Big Sick.
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What are the long-term impacts of nearly dying?
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How does it change your personality?
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I think initially I was very adamant that nothing,
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I didn't change at all.
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And that this was just a blip in my life
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and absolutely nothing had changed and that could not have been further from the truth.
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I wrote a really horrible essay.
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It was just literally like,
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I was in a coma and nothing changed.
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I'm the exact same person. Who cares? Who cares?
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I learned nothing.
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Yeah, and it and that's cool.
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If you read it you'd be like this woman is going through some shit She is in crisis
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I'm a therapist I like had a master's degree at practice for years
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and I still couldn't see that within myself
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that like oh I'm gonna it's gonna take me a while to kind of process this,
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but it it's all the most cliche stuff on earth Just gives you a real appreciation for the fact
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that all of this is temporary and how fleeting everything is
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and there's very little that scares me now There's very little
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that could happen to me or you could say to me being rejected for a job,
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if this movie hadn't done well,
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any of that stuff doesn't compare to waking up and realizing,
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oh, I could have died and I didn't even know it and that could have all gone away.
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So I think I'm definitely less cynical than I used to be.
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In his own words, Kumail tells us
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that really the only two things he cares about are his relationship with Emily and his work.
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I feel like my life is really two things.
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It's my life with Emily and that really is,
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you know, I had this epiphany.
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I was like, that is my reason for being on this earth.
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Like, getting to know Emily.
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Yeah, that's like one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard.
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Otherwise, it's pointless.
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It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard.
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Keep going.
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That's not to say that we don't have to work at it.
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We really, really do and it is work.
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There's joy in the work,
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but there is intentional work that we have to do every day.
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But I realized that what I have with her is a very special thing.
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That is my purpose for being.
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The other thing is work.
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He does it all for love.
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That's what it's all for everybody.
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Spoiler alert, cheat code, gotta be the highest value there is.
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She's the coolest, best person I've ever met.
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I really believe that.
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What I love most about her is that the parts of her that she shows me that she doesn't show anybody else.
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No one would say Emily's closed off, right?
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She's very emotionally open.
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However, there is some curation to it.
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There is some stuff that other people don't get to see of Emily
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and I'm the only person in the world that gets to see it.
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I find that to be really magical.
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She's such a brilliant writer,
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and I love that I'm the first person in the world that gets to read her writings.
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So I'll read something she wrote,
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and I'm like, Emily is so cool.
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Where's my Emily?
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But the big sick was successful and it was cute as hell and you know,
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it makes you want to fall in love and shit fall in love and shit.
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And to finally bring in that peace to complete the trifecta that's been fought for in a lifelong struggle,
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love of the self.
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As someone who's struggled to love themselves their entire life,
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it feels painfully contradictory that it's so easy to love others and so improbable to love ourselves.
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You don't even realize the tone with which you're talking to yourself.
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You know, I didn't even realize it was negative until,
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you know, therapy, they were like,
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so how do you say this?
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You know, you're on set.
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You didn't do a good job.
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What do you say to yourself?
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And I'm like, Oh, heinous shit.
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Oh, yeah.
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You don't even realize.
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It's that fucking Leonardo DiCaprio scene in, um...
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Once Upon a Time...
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Once Upon a Time.. when he's in the trailer.
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He's like, you fucking no good!
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What the fuck was that?
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Jesus Christ!
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Embarrass yourself like that in front of all those goddamn people!
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You're fucking lying!
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I practiced them and now it don't look like I goddamn practiced them!
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You're sitting there like a fucking baboon!
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Blah-blah-blah-blahdj-dj-dj-dj-dj-dj!
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It's that.
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It's that.
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It's that.
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It's just my default has always been that.
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Like, since I can remember.
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The thing is, real love is not merely immediate adoration.
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It's not high esteem only at the moments of victory.
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Real love is truly and deeply wanting the best for someone.
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To feel joy when they progress and overcome.
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To feel hurt when they hurt.
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That's connection.
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Real love is seeing someone at their worst and still recognizing their inherent value.
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I'm praying when you see me at my worst,
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you see worse than me.
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And so, to love ourselves is not so dissimilar to loving our loved ones.
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Albeit feeling paradoxical at times,
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it's wanting the best in progress and overcoming for that person that we are.
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Let me try.
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I love Rock, so I want the best for Rock.
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I love rock, so I want rock to succeed on rock's main quest.
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Now you try.
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And now I do actually like myself.
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It's a recent thing, last few years.
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And then now I think I have a good relationship with it.
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When I work out, I feel in the moment,
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because you're lifting heavy weight,
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and you kind of need to be there and focus on that.
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You have to be outside yourself.
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You have to make sure you're using it properly,
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otherwise you're going to get hurt.
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So I get really a lot out of it.
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My anxiety has been a lot lower.
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I sleep a lot better since I've been like working out a bunch.
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So now I'm aware of how things make me feel.
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That's the biggest thing.
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I wasn't aware of any of these things.
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And so, what's a Kumail to do?
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Well, if Squiddy's answer was to return to how things were,
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Kumail taking the other path says, Never go back.
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And now I know all of you are waiting for me to go back to how I was.
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I want to make you so happy if I go back to how I was.
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So now I'm stuck in this prison,
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because I don't want to give you the satisfaction.
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There's no reason for me to be buff anymore but I am because fuck you.
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I'll be doing push-ups on my deathbed because fuck you.
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When I look at cake and want to eat it,
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I think of how happy it'll make you if I eat it.
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That gives me the strength to not eat it.
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Fame's a whole paradigm shifting thing.
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale de niveau B2 s’appuie sur la vidéo « Kumail Nanjiani's Handsome Squidward Paradigm Shift ». Cette vidéo contient 373 phrases et 3105 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 16:53. Le locuteur parle vite, environ 184 mots par minute : attendez-vous à des liaisons et à des sons réduits. 82 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais ; le reste mérite d’être vu avant de commencer.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
Les 15 mots les plus avancés de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| paradigm nom | /ˈpæɹ.ə.daɪm/ | paradigme |
| kidnap verbe | /ˈkɪdnæp/ | enlever, kidnapper |
| vibe nom | /vaɪb/ | vibe, aura |
| adoration nom | /ˌæ.dəˈɹeɪ.ʃən/ | adoration |
| fascinate verbe | /ˈfæsɪneɪt/ | fasciner |
| buff nom | /bʌf/ | chamois |
| backlash nom | /ˈbækˌlæʃ/ | retour de bâton, retour de manivelle |
| adore verbe | /əˈdoɹ/ | adorer |
| esteem verbe | /ɪˈstiːm/ | respecter |
| compliment nom | /ˈkɑmpləmənt/ | compliment |
| threaten verbe | /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/ | menacer |
| therapist nom | /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/ | thérapeute |
| trauma nom | /ˈtɹɔm.ə/ | traumatisme, trauma |
| satisfaction nom | /sætɪsˈfækʃən/ | satisfaction |
| adamant adjectif | /ˈæd.ə.mənt/ | inflexible, catégorique |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| wake up verbe | /ˌweɪk ˈʌp/ | se réveiller |
| work out verbe | /ˌwɝk ˈaʊt/ | calculer |
| come back verbe | revenir | |
| come up verbe | se montrer, sortir du bois | |
| go away verbe | partir, s'en aller | |
| go back verbe | rentrer, retourner | |
| go through verbe | traverser | |
| take off verbe | enlever, ôter |
Des phrases à répéter
Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :
- I'd be like, what is wrong with these people?
- Was that, like, difficult for you?
- Do you remember what I'm talking about?
- Why didn't anybody give me a heads up?
- Do you know how hard this was?
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| « Used to » used to + verbe — une habitude ou un état passé qui n’est plus vrai | used to call · used to be |
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | I've seen · we've decided · you've ever seen |
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | were threatened · being hit · be rejected |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 87 contractions et formes réduites, comme I'm, don't, you're. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « th »: threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, deathbed /ˈdɛθˌbɛd/
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: adoration /ˌæ.dəˈɹeɪ.ʃən/, backlash /ˈbækˌlæʃ/, satisfaction /sætɪsˈfækʃən/, cliché /kliˈʃeɪ/, curation /kjəˈɹeɪʃən/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: adoration /ˌæ.dəˈɹeɪ.ʃən/, satisfaction /sætɪsˈfækʃən/, contradictory /ˌkɑntɹəˈdɪktəɹi/, dissimilar /dɪˈsɪmɪlə(ɹ)/, epiphany /ɪˈpɪfəni/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /h/ — il se souffle, il n’est pas muet: heinous /ˈheɪnəs/, inherent /ɪnˈhɪəɹənt/, superhero /ˈs(j)upɚhɪɹoʊ/
- /tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: gingerbread /ˈd͡ʒɪn.d͡ʒɚˌbɹɛd/, jawline /ˈd͡ʒɔːˌlaɪn/, originality /əˌɹɪd͡ʒɪˈnælɪti/, cheat /ˈt͡ʃiːt/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: paradigm /ˈpæɹ.ə.daɪm/, adoration /ˌæ.dəˈɹeɪ.ʃən/, adore /əˈdoɹ/, threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme paradigm, kidnap, vibe.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.