शैडोइंग अभ्यास: Challenge yourself to step out of the norm | Khanh Vy Tran | TEDxVinschoolHanoi - YouTube के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

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hi good morning hello thank you for having me so let's get started with my ted talks

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hi good morning hello thank you for having me so let's get started with my ted talks

my very first time so i am the last born in my family that

follows and honors traditional values my oldest sister is a lecturer and my second sister is working for the

public sector and their paths are exactly the same as my parents expected

finishing college getting married at the age of 24 having a job

and then having kids and my parents expected me to have the same path in my sophomore

year of high school when both of my sisters both got married

my family got a big debt i still remember my parents

they had to get up every day work very hard to make sure that i still got a decent

life and a good education regardless i still remember my mom she had to borrow money

so that she could have enough 23 million vietnam dome for me to pay my tuition fee when it was the candidate

in the national excellent student contest the subject of english which was pretty expensive back then

and then i passed the contest which meant that i got direct offers from several universities within the country

and when we got the news my mom was the happiest and she was like hooray now you are able to get into

security academy [Music] so for your information to get into that university

you had to get a score of around 29 out of 30 in the entrance university exam which was

obviously impossible for me because i was super bad at maths and plus you were very likely to get a job

offer after graduation and that is the reason why my parents wanted me to study to that university because

they want to feel reassured that i got a stable job i got a foreseeable

future the so-called foreseeable future as much as i didn't want to disappoint my parents

i knew that this path was not for me i knew that i was not cut out for this job as a police officer because all i wanted

to do was television and communication and that was my very first step outside the norm which i think

doesn't necessarily mean that you are the first person to do something in the world it just simply means that what you are doing is not

normal is not familiar in your closed network of your friends of your family and you have no idea how things would turn out

so i got into college and on a very beautiful day i posted a video of me covering a very cute song

named foo so you know after one night that video went viral

all over the internet and wow after a few weeks later i got an invitation to film the music video

and write some parts to the song with the songwriter and wow the song became a hit

and the envy got millions of views and wow a ceo of an entertainment agency contacted me

everything happened so quickly that i didn't have time to process it and the ceo persuaded me

into becoming a singer under his company and i was like yeah i was pretty interested but i still have a college to finish

and then he told me his story of dropping out of college in his senior year to become a director and now he made it

and i was like wow that would be a lot of fun i think this would be a very big opportunity for me my time to shine on the other side of

the spectrum the music video got good response in general but regarding my voice in my singing people didn't like it that much and of

course i was very sad pretty sad sad sad and discouraged um i asked my parents for advice

and my mom asked me so despite all the opinions on of people on your voice do you still want to pursue a career as

a singer and i was hesitating i told mom um mom i'm not so sure another story still during that time

i hosted three english shows on vtv7 which is the national education channel

and everything was going pretty well until i read comments on the internet and most of the audience did not like my voice

and they complained about my hosting skills my english and you know that shows these shows were for learning english

so the host is supposed to have good english you know if i was trying to sell you a pen

and you didn't buy it okay i could blame the pen is not good but when the product is me when is me appearing

on the national tv and serving millions of audience all across the nation it is getting harder and harder to sleep at night

and seeing me getting disappointed being sad in myself from time to time then my mom asked me

have you ever considered quitting this job i mean you're still a student you don't have to work you can fail you can try i just wanted

you to be healthy and happy every day and an inner voice in me right at that moment told my mom that homemade no

mom i still want to keep working because i know that i can fix it and then my mom told me then congratulations i think that you have

already found your passion and i was like passion i have found my passion

and yes i found my passion on that day i soon realized that passion is something

that pushes you through difficult times because you don't care whatever it takes to become better i like to sing

but i didn't have enough determination to push myself through people's opinions on my voice and i quit that means i don't have enough passion

for it i like to do the job of a tv host and i know that i have strong willingness to face

and overcome adversity for what i love and as a result i rejected the offer of the ceo

and a lot of people i know when a lot of the experts in the industry told me that i think that was a bad decision i think if i were you i

wouldn't do that but the thing here is that the best advice is the advice that people give you for you

not the advice what would they do if they were you because everyone is different and i the lesson i learned hard way from

this big event in my life is that people cannot take the right decisions in your life

only you can by listening more to your inner voice and by staying true to your vision and i

know that my vision has always been that education education has always been my backbone my family's backbone

and finishing college and using what i learned to bring value to people as a host as a social influencer as an

author has been always my ultimate goal it can be very difficult to navigate in at first

but it is sometimes better to take a conscious decision that might appear very crazy

very not right for others than just following the norms blindly and then

getting back to my story i still continue with my work as a tv host at vtv7 i still

be a full-time student at my diplomatic academy of vietnam and regarding my voice as a lot of audience complained about my two

high-pitched voice which was very irritating to listen to and they didn't like my voice i decided and i was so determined

to change my voice by lowering the tone of my voice when speaking english from hello this is a very nice day yes

this was exactly my voice in the past to hello this is a very nice day everything was going pretty well once

again and one day the produce the producer and the director of the show that i hosted uploaded

a podcast that had me hosting with that high pitched voice i guess probably back in the season one the first season of the show

and then i asked him if it was okay to delete the podcast because i thought the voice was terrible and the audience might not like

it and i was too afraid to be judged again by the audience and then he texted me back and i could feel the disappointment and

the anger a little bit in his text messages and he told me that voice was a part of you why did you deny it

okay so no more podcast that had you will be uploaded ever again and i was like what did did i do

something wrong what was happening am i making you angry i didn't know what was happening back then i was so stupid

it was not until when i talked to people i talked more to my audience and i read more comments and people started to say

what happened to your voice v you spoke too quietly and softly that it's really hard to listen to you and we couldn't really find the positive

energy the fun vibes like before and that moment left me speechless because i was too confident

that the positive energy was something that i could always bring to people that was my unique selling point but when the audience couldn't find that in me

it felt like a loss of a part in my body i really lost sight of who i was

i listened to people's opinions and i changed who i am because i think others

might accept me for it but i was strong what i had been doing so far is not trying to become

better but trying to become someone else by rejecting myself by seeking validation from

every single one and what the producer and the director told me just went on a loop in my brain for weeks

that voice was the part of you why did you deny it why did i deny it i didn't know

i think because we as humans often make a lot of mistakes and we often very often punish ourselves for those past

mistakes because those mistakes often come back with an overwhelming feeling of guilt of shame if i am not i'm not good enough

and i have never ever been good enough and i realized that the hardest person to forgive on this earth

is not someone who betrayed you another friend who wasn't there for you when you need the most is not your ex-boyfriend who broke your

heart to pieces the hardest person to forgive on this earth is myself and then my best friend told me to stop

doing what i have been doing so far which is pleasing every single one and he said just be yourself that three words

i know we listen to this phrase all the time just be yourself i mean when i'm having a shower just be yourself when i'm eating just be yourself

when on the stage just be yourself when i'm talking to you just be yourself just be yourself just three words but we're here all the time and we're

getting tired of it but it's the use of the word just that really surprises me because when we use the word just

it means that it is something very easy to do then why just being myself

is still the hardest thing for me to do why i didn't know

and after talking to my therapist after learning more about meditation about my inner peace

listening more to my inner voice i realized that my true self is

actually being covered up with thinking and with a perception which is based on fear

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my true self is who i really am when i let go of all those stories of all the judgments

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that i myself place on me do you still remember a challenge on facebook where people would post 10 year challenge where people would

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post their pictures when they were kids and people and your friends would comment oh you look so cute you look so happy you look so nice and then uh

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the the the the person would say oh yeah yeah i look cute i was a cute kid back then

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but you know my challenge i think for you today is that take a picture of your face

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today and remember that in 10 years time you will be amazed at how gorgeous and beautiful you are because right now you are already

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gorgeous and beautiful because you just don't see it yet my stories of stepping outside the norm

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is challenging myself but it is not about changing myself because you you see as you can see i failed when i try

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to change myself at the end of the day we as humans we are allowed to make mistakes we are

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allowed to laugh at ourselves we are allowed you know to do something wrong just make mistakes it's not the end of the world who on

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earth has not made a mistake tell me a name who no one so it's okay to feel bad it's okay to feel

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down and heavy sometimes because the cloud rains when it's heavy too so it's really okay it's totally normal

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you don't have to try to become anyone else you don't have to try to become this guy that guy this lady that lady know you don't have to try to become anyone

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else you just be you and being you being authentic being an individual

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is enough because individuality makes diversity and individuality and diversities are two most precious

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things on this earth i know that some of you here every single one of you here might be having some problems and

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pressure to deal with every single day maybe with your friends with your family with your work with your study with your love life and i just want to

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tell you that no matter who you are no matter where you come from you are the one and only and that's what makes you beautiful and special in your

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own ways and no matter what you are facing right now and i don't know no matter what the future holds for you

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please never change yourself love yourself accept yourself and then transform yourself

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i really hope you have a great day today

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thank you

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