शैडोइंग अभ्यास: Don't Make These Mistakes in Everyday English! | English Podcast - YouTube के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

This is Max and Mia podcast.

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This is Max and Mia podcast.

Hello, everyone.

Welcome back to Max and Mia podcast.

Good to have you here.

Whether you've been with us for a while or this is your very first time,

we're really glad you're listening.

Now, you might be wondering,

where are Max and Mia?

Well, today we're bringing you a special guest host edition,

so you are officially stuck with us for the next few minutes.

In the meantime, you've got us,

Matthew and Rachel, and we're going to make sure today is just as useful.

And hey, a big thank you, honestly.

The support this podcast has received means a lot to us,

so thank you for that.

So Rachel, the other day something happened to me.

A good friend called me,

and I could tell right away that something was wrong.

He started talking, and I remember just sitting there,

thinking, Okay, what do I say?

Do I give advice?

Do I just listen?

What are the right words here?

Oh, I know that feeling.

It's like your brain goes completely blank at the worst moment.

Exactly.

And the thing is, giving advice is not as simple as it sounds.

It's not just about knowing what to say.

Sometimes it's about knowing when to say nothing at all,

choosing the right words, the right tone,

knowing if the person actually wants advice or just wants to be heard.

And that's already hard enough in your own language.

But in English, that adds a whole new level of difficulty.

Because the words matter, the phrases matter,

and if you use the wrong one,

it can sound too strong,

too cold, or just a bit off.

And that's exactly what we're talking about today.

Giving advice in English.

How to do it well,

how to sound natural, and how to really connect with the person you're talking to.

Before we get into it,

if you're finding this helpful,

a like and a subscribe would mean a lot to us.

It really helps the podcast grow.

Alright, let's get started.

So, Rachel, let's start with something real.

Have you ever followed advice that turned out to be not great?

Oh, yes.

Absolutely yes.

And it still makes me cringe a little when I think about it.

Tell us.

Okay, so a few years ago,

I was thinking about changing jobs.

I had a good position.

It wasn't perfect, but it was stable.

And I told a friend about it,

and she immediately said, Just quit.

Life is too short.

Follow your passion.

And I thought, well, she sounds very sure about this.

Oh, no. So I quit without a real plan.

And the next few months were really difficult.

I was stressed.

I lost income.

And the passion she was talking about did not pay my rent.

And here's the thing.

Your friend probably meant well.

But that advice was what we call unsolicited advice.

Let's stop there for a second.

unsolicited.

Say it with us.

Unsolicited.

One more time.

Unsolicited.

This word means advice that nobody asked for.

Un means not, and solicited means requested.

So unsolicited advice is advice you give when the other person did not ask you for it.

And the problem with unsolicited advice is that it's often too fast.

The person giving it doesn't really know the full situation.

They just react.

Exactly.

My friend didn't know my finances.

She didn't know my full situation.

She just heard part of the story and gave me a big answer.

And I followed it.

That's on me too, honestly.

Still, it's a good example of how advice,

even when it comes from a good place,

can cause real problems if it's not the right advice for the right moment.

All right, my turn.

And mine is a bit more personal.

Go ahead.

A few years back, I was going through a rough time.

I won't go into all the details,

but I was feeling really stuck,

like nothing was moving forward.

And I talked to someone I trust,

an older colleague at work,

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and I expected him to tell me what to do.

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You know, give me a list of steps.

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And did he?

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No. He just looked at me and said,

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you already know what you need to do.

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You're just scared.

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That was it.

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Wow.

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And something about the way he said it,

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it didn't feel like a judgment.

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It felt encouraging.

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And that word, encouraging, let's look at it for a second.

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Encouraging.

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Say it.

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Encouraging.

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Encouraging means that something or someone gives you confidence.

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It makes you feel like you can do it, like you have support.

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Exactly.

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His words were short, but they were encouraging,

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because he believed in me before I believed in myself,

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and that changed something.

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I didn't need a plan from him.

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I needed someone to remind me that I was capable.

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That's a really different kind of advice.

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It's not, here's what you should do.

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It's more like, I see you,

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and I think you can handle this.

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Right, and that's much harder to do,

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because it requires you to really listen first.

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And that brings us to something we think is really important.

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Sometimes the best thing you can do is say nothing.

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Which sounds simple, but it's actually one of the hardest things.

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Because our instinct when someone comes to us with a problem is to fix it,

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to have an answer, to say something useful.

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But not everyone who shares a problem is looking for a solution.

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Sometimes they just want to feel heard.

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And this is where empathy comes in.

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Empathy.

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Em-pa-thy.

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Say it.

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Em-pa-thy.

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This word means the ability to understand how another person feels,

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to put yourself in their position.

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And when you lead with empathy,

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you stop thinking about what to say next.

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You start actually listening.

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There's a big difference between listening to respond and listening to understand.

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And people notice that difference.

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They really do.

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And the interesting thing is,

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when someone feels truly heard,

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they often find the answer on their own.

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They didn't need advice.

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They needed space to think out loud.

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So the skill isn't always having the right words.

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Sometimes the skill is having the perspective to know when words aren't needed.

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perspective.

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Per-spec-tive.

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Say it.

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Per-spec-tive.

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It means the way you see or understand a situation.

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Knowing when to speak and when to stay quiet,

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that's a real skill, in any language.

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Okay, so now we want to do something a little different.

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Something for you, wherever you are right now.

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At home, at work, on the bus, wherever.

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We're going to give you a chance to practice.

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Not just your vocabulary, but your speaking, too.

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Because reading and listening are great,

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but actually saying the words out loud is where the real progress happens.

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Here's how it works.

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We're going to describe a situation,

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and we want you to imagine that one of us,

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Matthew or Rachel, is your best friend,

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your brother, your sister, someone close to you, someone you care about.

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We'll tell you what's going on,

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and your job is to think, what would I say?

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What advice would I give?

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What words would I choose?

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Take a few seconds.

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Really think about it.

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And if you need more time, pause right now.

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No problem at all.

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Then, after the pause, we'll each share what we would say in that situation.

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And you can compare.

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There's no perfect answer here.

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The goal is to practice thinking and speaking in English.

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Ready?

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Let's go.

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Okay.

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Scenario one.

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Imagine Matthew is your close friend,

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and he calls you one evening and says this.

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I'm so tired.

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I feel like I haven't stopped in weeks.

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I have too much work,

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too many responsibilities, and I can't seem to say no to anyone.

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Every time someone asks me for something,

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I just say yes, even when I really don't want to.

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I don't know what's wrong with me.

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That's the situation.

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Your friend is exhausted, overwhelmed,

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and feels like she can't set limits for herself.

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So what do you say?

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Take a few seconds, think about your words.

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You can even pause the episode if you want a little more time.

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Okay.

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Matthew, what would you say to me in that situation?

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Honestly, the first thing I'd do is not jump straight to advice.

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I'd probably say something like, Hey, I hear you.

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That sounds really hard.

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And I want you to know that saying no is not selfish.

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It's necessary.

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You can't pour from an empty cup.

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I'd want her to feel like what she's feeling makes sense before I say anything else.

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I love that.

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For me, I'd probably ask a question first.

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Something like, when was the last time you did something just for you?

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Not for work, not for anyone else, just for yourself.

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because sometimes people don't realize how long they've been running on empty until someone asks them to stop and think.

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And notice what we both did there.

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We didn't say just stop saying yes like it's easy.

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We started with understanding.

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That's the empathy we talked about earlier.

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All right, situation two.

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This time, imagine Matthew is your close friend,

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and he sends you a message that says,

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I had a big argument with my dad last week.

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I said some things I probably shouldn't have,

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and now we're not talking.

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I feel bad about it,

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but I also feel like he doesn't really listen to me.

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I don't know if I should apologize or just wait and see what happens.

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So your friend is dealing with a difficult situation at home.

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He feels guilty, but also a little frustrated.

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He's stuck between two options and doesn't know which way to go.

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Your turn.

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What would you say?

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Take your time.

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Think it through.

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if you need to.

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Okay, I'll go first this time.

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I'd probably say, I think you already know the answer and that's why it's bothering you.

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Apologizing doesn't mean you were completely wrong,

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it means you value the relationship more than being right.

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Something like that.

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That's really good.

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I think I'd say something a bit different.

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I'd say, it's okay to feel both things at the same time.

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You can be sorry for how you said something and still feel that your point was valid.

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Maybe start there.

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Apologize for the words, not the feeling.

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Because I think that separation really helps people move forward without feeling like they have to give up their side completely.

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And again, neither of us told him what to do in a direct way.

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We didn't say, call your dad right now.

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We gave him something to think about and let him decide.

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Because that's usually what good advice looks like.

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You know, talking about all of this makes me think about you,

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the people listening right now.

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Same.

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Because we've been sharing our stories,

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but honestly, yours are probably just as powerful.

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So here's what we'd love you to do.

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Pause the episode for a second,

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go to the comments, and tell us,

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what is the best piece of advice someone has ever given you?

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The kind that really stayed with you and changed the way you saw things.

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Maybe your comment will help someone else today.

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You never know who's listening and what they might need to hear.

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Okay, and since we're asking you to share,

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it's only fair that we go first.

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Fair enough.

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For me, it was something my grandfather told me when I was young and very impatient.

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He said, the things that grow slowly last longer.

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And at the time, I didn't really get it,

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but the older I get,

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the more I understand it.

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Good things, real things, take time.

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That idea has helped me a lot in moments when I wanted everything to happen right now.

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That's a beautiful one.

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Mine came from a teacher.

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She told me, you don't have to have everything figured out.

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You just have to take the next step.

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And that was huge for me because I used to feel paralyzed when I couldn't see the full picture.

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That sentence gave me permission to just move forward,

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even without a complete plan.

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Both of those are very different,

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but they both do the same thing.

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They give you a new way to look at the situation.

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Which is exactly what good advice does.

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It doesn't solve the problem for you.

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It shifts something in your head.

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All right, let's bring it all together.

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Before we go, here are the main things we hope you're taking with you today.

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Number one.

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Before you give advice, ask yourself,

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did this person actually ask for it?

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Unsolicited advice, even when it comes from a good place,

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can do more harm than good.

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Sometimes the best first move is simply asking,

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do you want my opinion or do you just need to talk?

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Number two, listen to understand, not to respond.

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There's a big difference.

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When you truly listen, the other person feels it,

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and that alone can already help them more than any advice you might give.

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Number three, silence is not the same as doing nothing.

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Knowing when to hold back,

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when to just be present,

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is one of the most powerful things you can offer someone who is going through a hard time.

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And number four.

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Good advice doesn't make decisions for people.

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It gives them a new perspective and lets them find their own answer.

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The goal is not to fix someone.

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The goal is to support them.

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Four simple ideas, but honestly,

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not that easy to put into practice.

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That's why we keep working on it.

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And that's a wrap for today.

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Thank you genuinely for spending this time with us.

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Whether this was your first episode or you've been here from the beginning,

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it means a lot.

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We hope something from today sticks with you.

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Maybe a word, maybe a phrase,

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maybe just a different way of thinking about the next conversation you have with someone you care about.

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If you enjoyed this episode,

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please leave us a like and hit that subscribe button.

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It really does make a difference and it helps more people find this space.

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Max and Mia will be back next week,

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so stay tuned for that.

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In the meantime, keep practicing,

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keep listening, and keep showing up for the people around you.

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Take care, everyone.

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See you next time!

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