शैडोइंग अभ्यास: How to Talk About Self-Control in English | Easy English Podcast for Beginners - YouTube के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

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Hello everyone and welcome back to Mr.

English Channel, where learning English is easy and fun.

I'm Emily.

Hey Emily, it's so good to be here with you again for another great conversation.

I am so happy today.

But also, I have a big problem with my self-control, Paul.

Oh no.

What happened?

Did you buy another pair of shoes?

Yes.

How did you know?

I saw them in the window and I just couldn't say no.

It happens to the best of us, Emily.

Self-control is like a muscle that we need to train.

A muscle?

You mean I need to go to the gym for my brain?

Exactly.

Today we are going to talk about exactly that, how to control our impulses.

That is a great topic.

I think many people struggle with this every day.

I agree.

Self-control is basically making better choices even when we want to do something else.

So it's like saying no to my favorite chocolate cake?

Yes, exactly.

It is about looking at the long-term goal, not just the short-term feeling.

Ah, so the goal is to be healthy, but the feeling is I want sugar now.

You got it.

It is the ability to wait for something better later.

That sounds hard, but very important for learning English too, right?

Oh, definitely.

You need self-control to sit down and study when you want to watch a movie.

Hmm, I see.

It's about being the boss of your own life.

I love that, being the boss of your own life.

That's a great way to put it.

But, Paul, why is it so hard?

Sometimes I feel like I have no power.

Well, we have many temptations around us all the time.

Our phones, for example, are a big one.

Oh, don't even talk about phones.

I can spend two hours just scrolling through videos.

We all do it.

You think I will just check one photo and suddenly it's midnight.

Why does that happen?

Is it because we are lazy?

No, not necessarily.

Our brains love easy rewards and quick fun.

So the phone gives us a quick reward and studying gives a slow reward.

Yes, you are very smart, Emily.

Self-control helps us choose the slow reward.

Wow, I need to remember that next time I open Instagram.

Another big area is food.

Do you find it hard to stop eating snacks?

Oh, yes.

If I have a bag of chips, I have to finish the whole bag.

Me too.

It's hard to have just one.

I try to hide the snacks in the cupboard, but I always know they are there.

That's a good first step, actually.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Out of sight, out of mind?

What does that mean?

mean it means if you don't see it you don't think about it as much ah that is

a great expression if I don't see the shoes I don't buy the shoes exactly it's

a simple strategy for better self-control what about procrastinating I do that a lot

with my work procrastination is just another way we lose self-control we choose now

over later I always say I will do it tomorrow but tomorrow never comes I

know the feeling we tell ourselves little lies to feel better in the moment so how can we stop lying to ourselves we need to be honest

We need to say, I am avoiding this work because it is hard.

Hmm, that is very deep, Paul.

It requires a lot of honesty.

It does.

But once you are honest, you can start to change the habit.

Is self-control the same as motivation?

Because sometimes I feel motivated and sometimes I don't.

That is a very important question.

No, they are quite different.

Really?

I thought I needed motivation to have self-control.

Motivation is a feeling.

It comes and goes like the weather.

Oh, I see.

So if I only work when I'm motivated, I won't work very often.

Exactly.

Self-control is doing the work even when you don't feel like it.

Wow, that is a big difference.

Self-control is like a commitment.

Yes, it is discipline.

It is staying true to your word, to yourself.

I love that.

Staying true to your word.

Think about it like a long walk.

You don't always feel like walking, but you keep moving toward the destination.

That makes sense.

Motivation is the start, but self-control is the finish.

Perfect.

You are a natural at this, Emily.

Thanks, Paul.

I'm trying to learn.

100

By the way, I have a question about money.

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Go ahead.

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Money is one of the hardest things to control.

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Sometimes I see a sale online, and I feel like I'm losing money if I don't buy it.

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That's a classic trap.

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I'm saving money by spending it.

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Yes, it sounds so silly when you say it out loud.

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It is.

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To control spending, I always wait 24 hours before buying something.

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24 hours?

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Does that really help?

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It helps a lot.

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Usually the next day, I don't even want the item anymore.

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That is a fantastic tip.

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I will try to wait one day before I buy those extra shoes.

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Good job.

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Your bank account will thank you, Emily.

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I hope so.

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But, Paul, what if I fail?

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What if I lose control?

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That's okay.

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We're all human.

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The important thing is to not give up.

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Sometimes when I eat one cookie, I feel so bad that I eat the whole box.

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Ah, yes.

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The I already failed trap.

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We think one mistake means everything is ruined.

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Exactly.

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I think, well, my diet is dead, so I might as well eat pizza, too.

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Don't do that.

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If you have a flat tire on your car, do you pop the other three tires?

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No, of course not.

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I just fix the one tire.

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Exactly.

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So if you eat one cookie, just stop there.

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You don't need to ruin the whole day.

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Wow, that is a great example.

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I never thought about it like that.

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Just say, OK, I made a mistake, and get back on track immediately.

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Get back on track.

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I like that expression.

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It means to return to the right path.

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Yes, it's very useful.

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You can use it for studying English too.

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Like if I miss one day of studying?

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Yes.

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Don't worry about the missed day.

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Just study today.

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Get back on track.

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I feel much better now.

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It's about being kind to myself too.

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Definitely.

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Self-control is not about being a robot.

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It's about being a better version of you.

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Before we continue, I have a small message for our friends listening.

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Oh yes, go ahead.

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If you are enjoying this conversation, don't forget to like the video, subscribe to the channel, and share it with a friend who is learning English.

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That really helps us a lot.

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And if you are still listening, comment balance below.

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Yes.

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Comment balance, because that's what self-control is all about.

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Great word choice, Emily.

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Now let's talk about habits.

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How do habits help with self-control?

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Aren't they different?

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Habits are things we do without thinking.

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If we have good habits, we don't need as much self-control.

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Oh, so if I always study at 8 p.m., it becomes automatic?

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Exactly.

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Your brain doesn't argue with you anymore.

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You just do it.

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That sounds so much easier than fighting with myself every night.

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It is.

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But building the habit takes a little bit of self-control at the beginning.

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How long does it take?

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Some people say 21 days.

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It varies for everyone.

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The key is to start very small.

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Like just five minutes of English a day?

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Yes.

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Don't try to study for three hours.

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Just start with five minutes.

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That's a good idea.

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Five minutes is easy to say yes to.

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And once you start, it is much easier to continue.

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Is there a trick for when I feel a very strong impulse, like when I'm angry?

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Emotional self-control is very hard.

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When we are angry, we often say things we regret.

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Oh, I know that feeling.

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I have said some mean things when I was tired or hungry.

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We call that being hangry.

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Hungry and angry.

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That is so true.

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I am definitely a hangry person.

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When you feel that impulse, just pause.

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Take a deep breath.

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Just one breath?

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Even one breath helps.

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It gives your brain a moment to think instead of just reacting.

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So I should count to 10?

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Counting to 10 is a classic for a reason.

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It works.

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I will try to count to 10 next time my brother annoys me.

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Good luck with that.

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It takes practice.

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It sounds like self-control is useful in every part of life.

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It really is.

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It helps your relationships, your health, and your career.

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How does it help my career, Paul?

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Well, imagine a boss who can't control their temper, or a worker who always arounds late.

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Yeah, that wouldn't be good.

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They probably wouldn't keep their job for long.

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Exactly.

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Discipline and patience are very attractive qualities in a professional setting.

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So by learning self-control, I am also becoming a better professional.

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Yes, and a better student.

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It's all connected.

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Paul, you always have such wise advice.

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Does this come from your faith?

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Well, in my faith, we talk a lot about fruit of the Spirit, and one of them is self-control.

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Really?

221

I didn't know that.

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Yes.

223

It is seen as a way to honor yourself and others.

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It's about not being a slave to your desires.

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A slave to your desires.

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That is a very strong image.

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It's true.

228

If we can't say no to anything, we aren't really free.

229

Wow.

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So self-control actually gives us freedom?

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Precisely.

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If you can control yourself, you can choose the life you want.

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I never thought about it like that.

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I thought self-control was like a prison.

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Many people think that, but a person with no self-control is like a car with no brakes.

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That's a dangerous car.

237

Exactly.

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You need the brakes to stay on the road and reach your destination safely.

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I love your metaphors, Paul.

240

They make it so easy to understand.

241

I'm glad they help.

242

It makes English more interesting, too.

243

It really does.

244

I'm learning new words and how to be a better person at the same time.

245

That is the best way to learn.

246

It makes the language more meaningful.

247

So, let's review some of the things we talked about for our listeners.

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Great idea.

249

First, we said self-control is about making choices for the long term.

250

Right.

251

And we talked about out of sight, out of mind to avoid temptation.

252

We also mentioned the 24-hour rule for spending money.

253

And my favorite, the flat tire example.

254

Don't ruin the whole day just because of one mistake.

255

Yes, just get back on track.

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And most importantly, starting with small habits, just five minutes a day.

257

You remembered everything.

258

I'm very impressed, Emily.

259

I guess I'm getting better at focusing.

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You really are.

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It takes time, so be patient with yourself.

262

Patience is hard too.

263

Yes, it is.

264

But it's worth it.

265

Do you have any final advice for someone who feels like they have zero self-control?

266

I would say start today with one very small thing.

267

Like what?

268

Like making your bed in the morning or drinking a glass of water before coffee.

269

Ah, small wins.

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Yes, small wins build your confidence.

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You start to believe that you can control yourself.

272

That is so encouraging.

273

I'm going to make my bed tomorrow morning, no matter what.

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That's the spirit.

275

It's a great way to start the day with a victory.

276

Thank you so much, Paul.

277

this was such a helpful conversation.

278

You are very welcome, Emily.

279

I enjoyed it too.

280

I feel like I'm ready to handle the next time I see a sale online.

281

We will see.

282

Just remember to wait those 24 hours.

283

I will.

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I promise.

285

Another thing people forget is that self-control is easier when we sleep well.

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Really?

287

Does sleep affect our willpower?

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Oh, definitely.

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When we are tired, Our brain looks for sugar and easy hits of dopamine.

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Dopamine.

291

That's the happy chemical, right?

292

Yes.

293

And your brain wants it fast when you haven't slept enough.

294

So by sleeping eight hours, I'm actually helping my diet?

295

Yes.

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It's the easiest way to improve your self-control.

297

Wow.

298

I love that advice.

299

I will go to bed early tonight.

300

Good.

301

Your future self will be very happy in the morning.

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We should also mention that talking to friends helps.

303

I agree.

304

Accountability is a big word, but it's very helpful.

305

Accountability.

306

Can you explain that, Paul?

307

It means having someone who checks on you and helps you stay on track.

308

Like when I tell you I'm going to study and you ask me, did you do it?

309

Exactly.

310

It's harder to fail when you know someone is cheering for you.

311

That's why our community here is so great.

312

We are all helping each other.

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We really are.

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It makes the hard things feel a little bit easier.

315

I think we should talk about why some days are harder than others.

316

Well, stress is a big factor.

317

When life is stressful, self-control is the first thing to go.

318

I've noticed that.

319

When I have a lot of work, I just want to eat pizza and watch TV.

320

It's a way to escape the stress, but it doesn't solve the problem.

321

No, it just makes me feel worse the next day.

322

So when you are stressed, you need even more self-care and patience.

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I will remember that.

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Stress means I need to be careful with my choices.

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Precisely.

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Don't let the stress drive the car.

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You stay in the driver's seat.

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I'm the driver.

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I like that.

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You are definitely in the driver's seat of your life, Emily.

331

And I'm driving toward fluency in English.

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That's a wonderful destination.

333

And for our listeners, remember that even one new word today is a success.

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Every small step counts.

335

Don't look at how far you have to go.

336

Look at how far you have come.

337

Exactly.

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Celebrate your progress, no matter how small.

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That is a very positive way to end our conversation.

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It is.

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We should always end with hope and a smile.

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I'm smiling right now.

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Me too.

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It's been a great episode.

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I think we covered everything we wanted to talk about.

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I think so too.

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We talked about food, money, technology, and habits.

348

And the importance of sleep and kindness.

349

It was a very full discussion.

350

Thank you again everyone for listening and for being part of our community.

351

Yes, thank you all.

352

You are doing a great job with your English.

353

Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share the video.

354

video.

355

And comment balance if you haven't yet.

356

We love reading your comments.

357

They make us so happy.

358

They really do.

359

Well, I think it's time to go.

360

You're right.

361

Goodbye, everyone.

362

See you in the next episode.

363

Goodbye, everyone.

364

Have a great day.

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