शैडोइंग अभ्यास: I tried to optimize my life. It made it worse. - YouTube के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

I've spent thousands of hours obsessing over time management systems,

⏸ रुका हुआ

गति:

263 वाक्य

यदि वाक्य बहुत छोटे या लंबे हों, तो समायोजित करने के लिए Edit पर क्लिक करें।

I've spent thousands of hours obsessing over time management systems,

trying to unlock the productivity secrets of the world's most effective people.

And it was always about adding more.

Waking up at 5am, timing every second of my day,

tracking everything in color-coded calendars.

I read all the books,

tried the tools, and tested the systems.

But none of it solved my problem with time.

The harder I worked, the further away I felt from the life I wanted.

It wasn't until I was forced to stop that I realized the irony.

By trying to optimize my life,

I was actually making myself miserable.

This video is sponsored by Squarespace.

I'll share more about how they helped me build all my websites later.

So I've personally struggled so much with time management,

like my entire adult life,

but it's gotten so much worse over the past few years.

And I think it's because of two things.

First, we've seen this rise in the advice economy,

like all these people, creators,

influencers, smart people, dumb people,

telling us the things that we should be doing with our time.

Am I part of the problem?

I don't want to talk about it.

And then from the other side,

I've also seen the complete evaporation of my own personal time as a business owner and now father of two kids.

And so it's really in that mismatch right there where I get the most frustrated.

Every day we get advice on social media about what we should be doing.

If you want to be healthy and happy.

You need to strength train four times a week,

shop for, cook, and eat nutritious meals daily.

Consume one gram of protein per pound of body weight and mega dose on creatine.

Meditate for 30 minutes.

Do 15 minutes of mobility training and sleep for eight hours,

not including the time it takes to fall asleep.

Do 150 minutes of zone two training per week.

Read more books and make sure you find time to connect with nature.

Get a six pack.

Improve your VO2 max.

Start a side hustle.

Let the sunlight hit your face first thing in the morning.

And of course, you've got to maximize electrolytes and do something about peptides.

I don't know.

I heard it on a podcast once.

Peptides?

Peptides.

Learn about personal finance, keep up with the news,

and don't forget to finish the day with a 60-minute sauna cold plunge circuit.

Not only that, but you also need to find time for normal life stuff.

You know, making friends, traveling,

answering emails, returning your packages to the post office, and having sex.

I mean, where am I going to find those three minutes?

This is the 24 hours you have in a day.

This is the amount of stuff you're supposed to do in a given day.

As you can see, most of us have very little time to do the things we want to do in life,

let alone all the things we're supposed to do.

By the way, this is all very scientific.

So as a father of two children under three years old,

I have been thinking about this nonstop.

Like it's all I think about.

Like I used to think I was good at self-development,

but it turns out I just didn't have kids yet.

Even doing basic things like working out,

reading for enjoyment, and drinking eight glasses of water sometimes feels impossible.

Nope, cranky, don't touch that.

So naturally I started to use the time I didn't have to think about this problem.

How do we manage our time in a way that allows us to do everything we want?

There are of course, practical things you can do.

Find a less demanding job,

choose the right partner, hire help, or reduce your commute.

According to Nobel prize winning behavioral economist,

Daniel Kahneman, for many people commuting is the worst part of the day

and policies that can make commuting shorter and more convenient would be a straightforward way to reduce minor,

but widespread suffering.

Keep rolling.

Don't even pick.

No!

Oh my god!

On top of these big decisions,

there's an endless list of productivity advice out there.

Many that I've tried, tested,

and shared on this channel.

Things like batching tasks, the Eisenhower Matrix,

the Pomodoro Technique, and bullet journaling.

And yeah, all of those things are really helpful and they do make a difference.

I've noticed that myself.

But even after having applied a lot of these systems and strategies,

even being able to run my own business,

have no commute and have a pretty solid support system,

I find myself insanely frustrated with my inability to get the things done that I set out to.

And so I've come to the realization that the problem isn't me.

It's not that I'm not implementing the right systems

or I haven't done the right things in terms of setting up a life where I can fit everything in.

The reality is that there's just not enough time to do everything that I want to do.

100

And if I can truly accept that reality,

101

then I'm left with a very simple question.

102

It's a difficult question, but it's really simple.

103

What am I willing to say no to?

104

Oliver Berkman, author of 4,000 Weeks,

105

Time Management for Mortals, makes the argument that the real problem isn't that we're bad at managing our time,

106

but that we're trying to fit too many things into a life that's already very short.

107

As the title of the book gives away,

108

most people have just 4,000 weeks on Earth.

109

Most watching this video have already used up 30 to 40% of it.

110

Our time here on Earth is limited,

111

and so we have to be very careful about the things we commit to.

112

As Berkman writes, the more you believe you might succeed in fitting everything in,

113

the more commitments you naturally take on,

114

and the less you feel the need to ask whether each new commitment is truly worth a portion of your time.

115

And so your days inevitably fill with more activities you don't especially value.

116

As the advice economy and self-development have taken off over the past few years,

117

so has another trend, an obsession with optimization.

118

Optimized skincare routines, optimized productivity systems, optimized healthcare routines.

119

And of course, because you're adding so much to your life,

120

you also need to optimize your time management techniques.

121

everything needs to be optimized down to the 1%.

122

If you're anything like me,

123

you bought into this because you want to improve your life.

124

And yeah, while a lot of this stuff seems like bullshit,

125

doing a one-hour sauna cold plunge circuit every day does feel really good

126

and would be amazing if you could implement it every day.

127

But I think the thing that's rarely talked about in these circles

128

is just how unrealistic it is for most people to fit a fraction of this stuff into their life.

129

Or the fact that even trying to do so is the root cause of a lot of their misery.

130

So I became a parent three years ago,

131

and I've learned firsthand that there are so many more things you can say no to in life.

132

And

133

so I want to give you a quick look at my

134

average weekly schedule to show you where all my time currently goes.

135

So this chart represents a week in my life.

136

Each block is equal to one hour.

137

Let's start with family time.

138

So I've got a three-hour block at the beginning and end of each day to spend time with family,

139

including the entire weekend.

140

These days, I usually put in eight hours of work per day.

141

I do my best to give myself nine hours in bed per night.

142

This accounts for the time it takes to fall asleep,

143

as well as our kids wake-ups,

144

which usually happens at approximately 12 a.m.,

145

2 a.m., and 4 a.m every night.

146

And that leaves me with a grand total of one hour of personal time per day.

147

One hour.

148

And that's if everything goes perfectly,

149

I never run into traffic and no one gets sick,

150

which pretty much never happens.

151

I have spent so much time looking at this schedule just asking myself,

152

like, how am I possibly going to fit all the things

153

that I want to and feel like I need to do for myself into this?

154

How am I going to find time to read,

155

to do cardio, to lift weights?

156

James Clear, the best-selling author and habit expert opened up about his struggles becoming a parent

157

and in the process made it very clear why I had been having such a difficult time.

158

Usually when your seasons change,

159

your habits need to change.

160

And that was fairly obvious to me when it comes to habits that were like a waste of time.

161

Okay, now I don't have as much time to watch TV or to browse YouTube or check email or things like that.

162

But it was much harder for me to realize that.

163

And it probably took me like a year and a half to give up some of the things that previously benefited me.

164

They were like really good habits in my old season,

165

but they're just not a good fit for the current season.

166

I think this really gets to the core friction that I've experienced,

167

and I know so many other people have as well.

168

It's not saying no to the things that are bad for us that's difficult.

169

It's usually the things that are good for us that we have to say no to that are the most painful.

170

So saying no to the things that give us fulfillment,

171

that make us feel grounded,

172

but being able to accept those hard no's,

173

I think is one of the keys to finding inner peace.

174

This video is sponsored by Squarespace.

175

I've been using Squarespace for over 15 years,

176

much longer than they've been a sponsor on my channel.

177

And the reason why I choose to use them to build my websites

178

and why I recommend them to all my creator friends is very simple.

179

They make publishing websites incredibly easy.

180

From getting your domain name to designing and developing your website,

181

you don't have to know anything about code,

182

development, or design to get started.

183

And that's really good because I am terrible at all of those things.

184

What I really like is that if you want to,

185

you can keep things incredibly simple.

186

You can use a template.

187

You can use their blueprint AI tool to whip up the website pretty quickly.

188

Or if you're somebody like me,

189

who's a little bit more pixel perfect,

190

you can work with a designer or a developer to put together a website that really matches your creative vision.

191

And then later on, when I want to make changes,

192

when I want to tweak things,

193

I can jump in and do that myself.

194

That has made a huge difference for me as someone who's largely a solo creator that works with freelancers.

195

And of course, with Squarespace,

196

it's not just about publishing a website.

197

There are so many other tools that are really handy as a creator,

198

from building an online store to growing an email newsletter,

199

booking consulting gigs, tracking analytics and so much more.

200

If you are looking to get started,

201

build your own website, I've got a code.

202

Go to squarespace.com to start your free trial.

203

And when you're ready to launch,

204

go to squarespace.com slash Matt D'Avella to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

205

Thanks so much for considering.

206

There was a long stretch during the first year of parenting

207

when I just couldn't accept what I had to say no to.

208

I had to give up on so many things that had previously been good for me.

209

but I didn't want to.

210

I didn't want to make less videos on this channel.

211

I didn't want to spend less time working on side projects.

212

I didn't want to have less time to meditate,

213

to work on the weekends to meet a deadline,

214

and I really didn't want to stop working out five days a week,

215

making healthy meals, and having hours of connection time with my wife.

216

So for a very long time I felt a lot of frustration

217

and resentment because I felt like I was being forced to say no to these things against my will.

218

And I think that these feelings were completely normal and valid,

219

but eventually I realized that they weren't helping me grow,

220

they weren't helping me solve my problems,

221

or to make my life any better.

222

They were just making me be a miserable person to be around.

223

I had to accept that I chose this life,

224

that these are the trade-offs of the decision that I made to have kids.

225

These days I often have to say no to my work and even to my own health,

226

but I've said yes to something so much more important.

227

The most meaningful moments in my life.

228

The joy of giggling and playing around with my kids for hours on end.

229

Being one of the two people in the world that my son calls out for when he's scared.

230

More meaning than I think I ever would have found otherwise.

231

Sure, other things still matter in my life,

232

but nothing matters quite as much as this.

233

And I know that I've spent a lot of time here talking about my experience raising kids.

234

And while very few time commitments come close to parenting,

235

when I look back at my life before For kids,

236

I still see a person that struggled to manage their time,

237

to fit it all in,

238

to follow all the great advice that I heard.

239

So whether you're a parent,

240

have a demanding job, you've got a crazy class schedule,

241

or you just feel busy all the time,

242

the lesson I've learned, and the one that I'm honestly still learning,

243

is that when you find the things that are truly worth saying yes to,

244

it means saying no to almost everything else,

245

and not being bitter about it.

246

Once I was able to really accept that I couldn't do everything,

247

test out every new self-development routine or spend one hour a day baking in the sauna.

248

I'm still pretty upset about that one.

249

I began the process of unoptimizing my life.

250

If I was lucky to have one to two hours of free time,

251

how would I spend it?

252

And for me, that usually means I'm lifting a couple times a week.

253

I've got about three sessions of high intensity cardio per week.

254

I fit in 10 minutes of meditation here and there when I can.

255

And actually some of my favorite things to do with my personal free time,

256

watch baseball highlights or reality TV with Nat or to do nothing productive at all.

257

This is definitely not optimal,

258

but when I stopped chasing the 1% gains,

259

I started to be much more content,

260

much more happy with what I have.

261

And honestly, if I had time to do more,

262

I think it would just make each thing I choose to do a little bit less meaningful.

263

Thanks so much for watching.

TRENDING

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?

शैडोइंग (Shadowing) एक विज्ञान-समर्थित भाषा सीखने की तकनीक है जो मूल रूप से पेशेवर दुभाषिया प्रशिक्षण के लिए विकसित की गई थी। विधि सरल लेकिन शक्तिशाली है: आप मूल अंग्रेज़ी ऑडियो सुनते हैं और तुरंत इसे ज़ोर से दोहराते हैं — जैसे वक्ता की छाया 1-2 सेकंड की देरी से। शोध से पता चलता है कि यह उच्चारण सटीकता, स्वर, लय, जुड़ी हुई ध्वनियाँ, सुनने की समझ और बोलने की प्रवाहशीलता में काफ़ी सुधार करता है।

☕ हमें एक कॉफी पिलाएं

आपके समर्थन के कारण ShadowingEnglish 100% मुफ्त है। सर्वर और AI की लागत अधिक है — आपकी कॉफी हमें आगे बढ़ने में मदद करती है! 🙏

PayPal के माध्यम से दान करें

ShadowingEnglish.com – अंग्रेज़ी शैडोइंग अभ्यास

शैडोइंग अभ्यास: I tried to optimize my life. It made it worse. - YouTube के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

लोकप्रिय

इस वीडियो के साथ बोलने का अभ्यास क्यों करें?

व्याकरण और संदर्भ में अभिव्यक्तियाँ

सामान्य उच्चारण के जाल

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?

शैडोइंग अभ्यास: I tried to optimize my life. It made it worse. - YouTube के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

ऐप डाउनलोड करें

इस वीडियो के साथ बोलने का अभ्यास क्यों करें?

व्याकरण और संदर्भ में अभिव्यक्तियाँ

सामान्य उच्चारण के जाल

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?