Luyện nói tiếng Anh bằng Shadowing qua video: I tried to optimize my life. It made it worse.
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I've spent thousands of hours obsessing over time management systems,
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I've spent thousands of hours obsessing over time management systems,
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trying to unlock the productivity secrets of the world's most effective people.
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And it was always about adding more.
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Waking up at 5am, timing every second of my day,
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tracking everything in color-coded calendars.
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I read all the books,
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tried the tools, and tested the systems.
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But none of it solved my problem with time.
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The harder I worked, the further away I felt from the life I wanted.
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It wasn't until I was forced to stop that I realized the irony.
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By trying to optimize my life,
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I was actually making myself miserable.
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This video is sponsored by Squarespace.
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I'll share more about how they helped me build all my websites later.
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So I've personally struggled so much with time management,
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like my entire adult life,
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but it's gotten so much worse over the past few years.
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And I think it's because of two things.
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First, we've seen this rise in the advice economy,
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like all these people, creators,
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influencers, smart people, dumb people,
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telling us the things that we should be doing with our time.
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Am I part of the problem?
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I don't want to talk about it.
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And then from the other side,
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I've also seen the complete evaporation of my own personal time as a business owner and now father of two kids.
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And so it's really in that mismatch right there where I get the most frustrated.
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Every day we get advice on social media about what we should be doing.
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If you want to be healthy and happy.
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You need to strength train four times a week,
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shop for, cook, and eat nutritious meals daily.
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Consume one gram of protein per pound of body weight and mega dose on creatine.
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Meditate for 30 minutes.
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Do 15 minutes of mobility training and sleep for eight hours,
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not including the time it takes to fall asleep.
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Do 150 minutes of zone two training per week.
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Read more books and make sure you find time to connect with nature.
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Get a six pack.
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Improve your VO2 max.
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Start a side hustle.
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Let the sunlight hit your face first thing in the morning.
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And of course, you've got to maximize electrolytes and do something about peptides.
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I don't know.
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I heard it on a podcast once.
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Peptides?
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Peptides?
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Peptides.
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Learn about personal finance, keep up with the news,
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and don't forget to finish the day with a 60-minute sauna cold plunge circuit.
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Not only that, but you also need to find time for normal life stuff.
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You know, making friends, traveling,
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answering emails, returning your packages to the post office, and having sex.
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I mean, where am I going to find those three minutes?
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This is the 24 hours you have in a day.
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This is the amount of stuff you're supposed to do in a given day.
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As you can see, most of us have very little time to do the things we want to do in life,
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let alone all the things we're supposed to do.
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By the way, this is all very scientific.
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So as a father of two children under three years old,
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I have been thinking about this nonstop.
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Like it's all I think about.
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Like I used to think I was good at self-development,
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but it turns out I just didn't have kids yet.
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Even doing basic things like working out,
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reading for enjoyment, and drinking eight glasses of water sometimes feels impossible.
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Nope, cranky, don't touch that.
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So naturally I started to use the time I didn't have to think about this problem.
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How do we manage our time in a way that allows us to do everything we want?
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There are of course, practical things you can do.
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Find a less demanding job,
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choose the right partner, hire help, or reduce your commute.
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According to Nobel prize winning behavioral economist,
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Daniel Kahneman, for many people commuting is the worst part of the day
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and policies that can make commuting shorter and more convenient would be a straightforward way to reduce minor,
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but widespread suffering.
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Keep rolling.
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Don't even pick.
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No!
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No!
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No!
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No!
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Oh my god!
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Oh my god!
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On top of these big decisions,
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there's an endless list of productivity advice out there.
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Many that I've tried, tested,
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and shared on this channel.
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Things like batching tasks, the Eisenhower Matrix,
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the Pomodoro Technique, and bullet journaling.
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And yeah, all of those things are really helpful and they do make a difference.
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I've noticed that myself.
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But even after having applied a lot of these systems and strategies,
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even being able to run my own business,
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have no commute and have a pretty solid support system,
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I find myself insanely frustrated with my inability to get the things done that I set out to.
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And so I've come to the realization that the problem isn't me.
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It's not that I'm not implementing the right systems
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or I haven't done the right things in terms of setting up a life where I can fit everything in.
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The reality is that there's just not enough time to do everything that I want to do.
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And if I can truly accept that reality,
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then I'm left with a very simple question.
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It's a difficult question, but it's really simple.
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What am I willing to say no to?
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Oliver Berkman, author of 4,000 Weeks,
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Time Management for Mortals, makes the argument that the real problem isn't that we're bad at managing our time,
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but that we're trying to fit too many things into a life that's already very short.
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As the title of the book gives away,
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most people have just 4,000 weeks on Earth.
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Most watching this video have already used up 30 to 40% of it.
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Our time here on Earth is limited,
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and so we have to be very careful about the things we commit to.
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As Berkman writes, the more you believe you might succeed in fitting everything in,
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the more commitments you naturally take on,
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and the less you feel the need to ask whether each new commitment is truly worth a portion of your time.
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And so your days inevitably fill with more activities you don't especially value.
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As the advice economy and self-development have taken off over the past few years,
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so has another trend, an obsession with optimization.
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Optimized skincare routines, optimized productivity systems, optimized healthcare routines.
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And of course, because you're adding so much to your life,
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you also need to optimize your time management techniques.
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everything needs to be optimized down to the 1%.
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If you're anything like me,
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you bought into this because you want to improve your life.
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And yeah, while a lot of this stuff seems like bullshit,
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doing a one-hour sauna cold plunge circuit every day does feel really good
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and would be amazing if you could implement it every day.
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But I think the thing that's rarely talked about in these circles
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is just how unrealistic it is for most people to fit a fraction of this stuff into their life.
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Or the fact that even trying to do so is the root cause of a lot of their misery.
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So I became a parent three years ago,
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and I've learned firsthand that there are so many more things you can say no to in life.
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And
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so I want to give you a quick look at my
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average weekly schedule to show you where all my time currently goes.
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So this chart represents a week in my life.
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Each block is equal to one hour.
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Let's start with family time.
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So I've got a three-hour block at the beginning and end of each day to spend time with family,
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including the entire weekend.
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These days, I usually put in eight hours of work per day.
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I do my best to give myself nine hours in bed per night.
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This accounts for the time it takes to fall asleep,
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as well as our kids wake-ups,
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which usually happens at approximately 12 a.m.,
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2 a.m., and 4 a.m every night.
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And that leaves me with a grand total of one hour of personal time per day.
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One hour.
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And that's if everything goes perfectly,
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I never run into traffic and no one gets sick,
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which pretty much never happens.
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I have spent so much time looking at this schedule just asking myself,
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like, how am I possibly going to fit all the things
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that I want to and feel like I need to do for myself into this?
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How am I going to find time to read,
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to do cardio, to lift weights?
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James Clear, the best-selling author and habit expert opened up about his struggles becoming a parent
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and in the process made it very clear why I had been having such a difficult time.
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Usually when your seasons change,
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your habits need to change.
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And that was fairly obvious to me when it comes to habits that were like a waste of time.
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Okay, now I don't have as much time to watch TV or to browse YouTube or check email or things like that.
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But it was much harder for me to realize that.
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And it probably took me like a year and a half to give up some of the things that previously benefited me.
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They were like really good habits in my old season,
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but they're just not a good fit for the current season.
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I think this really gets to the core friction that I've experienced,
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and I know so many other people have as well.
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It's not saying no to the things that are bad for us that's difficult.
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It's usually the things that are good for us that we have to say no to that are the most painful.
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So saying no to the things that give us fulfillment,
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that make us feel grounded,
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but being able to accept those hard no's,
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I think is one of the keys to finding inner peace.
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This video is sponsored by Squarespace.
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I've been using Squarespace for over 15 years,
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much longer than they've been a sponsor on my channel.
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And the reason why I choose to use them to build my websites
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and why I recommend them to all my creator friends is very simple.
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They make publishing websites incredibly easy.
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From getting your domain name to designing and developing your website,
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you don't have to know anything about code,
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development, or design to get started.
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And that's really good because I am terrible at all of those things.
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What I really like is that if you want to,
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you can keep things incredibly simple.
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You can use a template.
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You can use their blueprint AI tool to whip up the website pretty quickly.
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Or if you're somebody like me,
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who's a little bit more pixel perfect,
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you can work with a designer or a developer to put together a website that really matches your creative vision.
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And then later on, when I want to make changes,
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when I want to tweak things,
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I can jump in and do that myself.
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That has made a huge difference for me as someone who's largely a solo creator that works with freelancers.
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And of course, with Squarespace,
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it's not just about publishing a website.
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There are so many other tools that are really handy as a creator,
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from building an online store to growing an email newsletter,
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booking consulting gigs, tracking analytics and so much more.
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If you are looking to get started,
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build your own website, I've got a code.
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Go to squarespace.com to start your free trial.
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And when you're ready to launch,
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go to squarespace.com slash Matt D'Avella to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
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Thanks so much for considering.
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There was a long stretch during the first year of parenting
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when I just couldn't accept what I had to say no to.
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I had to give up on so many things that had previously been good for me.
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but I didn't want to.
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I didn't want to make less videos on this channel.
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I didn't want to spend less time working on side projects.
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I didn't want to have less time to meditate,
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to work on the weekends to meet a deadline,
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and I really didn't want to stop working out five days a week,
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making healthy meals, and having hours of connection time with my wife.
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So for a very long time I felt a lot of frustration
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and resentment because I felt like I was being forced to say no to these things against my will.
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And I think that these feelings were completely normal and valid,
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but eventually I realized that they weren't helping me grow,
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they weren't helping me solve my problems,
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or to make my life any better.
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They were just making me be a miserable person to be around.
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I had to accept that I chose this life,
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that these are the trade-offs of the decision that I made to have kids.
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These days I often have to say no to my work and even to my own health,
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but I've said yes to something so much more important.
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The most meaningful moments in my life.
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The joy of giggling and playing around with my kids for hours on end.
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Being one of the two people in the world that my son calls out for when he's scared.
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More meaning than I think I ever would have found otherwise.
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Sure, other things still matter in my life,
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but nothing matters quite as much as this.
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And I know that I've spent a lot of time here talking about my experience raising kids.
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And while very few time commitments come close to parenting,
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when I look back at my life before For kids,
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I still see a person that struggled to manage their time,
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to fit it all in,
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to follow all the great advice that I heard.
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So whether you're a parent,
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have a demanding job, you've got a crazy class schedule,
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or you just feel busy all the time,
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the lesson I've learned, and the one that I'm honestly still learning,
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is that when you find the things that are truly worth saying yes to,
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it means saying no to almost everything else,
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and not being bitter about it.
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Once I was able to really accept that I couldn't do everything,
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test out every new self-development routine or spend one hour a day baking in the sauna.
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I'm still pretty upset about that one.
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I began the process of unoptimizing my life.
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If I was lucky to have one to two hours of free time,
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how would I spend it?
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And for me, that usually means I'm lifting a couple times a week.
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I've got about three sessions of high intensity cardio per week.
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I fit in 10 minutes of meditation here and there when I can.
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And actually some of my favorite things to do with my personal free time,
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watch baseball highlights or reality TV with Nat or to do nothing productive at all.
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This is definitely not optimal,
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but when I stopped chasing the 1% gains,
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I started to be much more content,
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much more happy with what I have.
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And honestly, if I had time to do more,
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I think it would just make each thing I choose to do a little bit less meaningful.
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Thanks so much for watching.
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Trong video này, người nói chia sẻ về những khó khăn trong việc quản lý thời gian và làm thế nào những cố gắng tối ưu hóa cuộc sống lại dẫn đến cảm giác thất vọng. Với hàng ngàn giờ dành cho việc tìm kiếm những bí quyết quản lý thời gian từ những người thành công nhất, họ đã bị cuốn vào dòng chảy của những lời khuyên từ mạng xã hội và những phiền toái trong cuộc sống hàng ngày. Việc trở thành một người làm kinh doanh và cha của hai đứa trẻ đã khiến thời gian cá nhân của họ trở nên khan hiếm, và từ đó nảy sinh sự mâu thuẫn giữa áp lực từ bên ngoài và thực tế cuộc sống.
5 Cụm Từ Chính Cho Giao Tiếp Hàng Ngày
- "Tối ưu hóa cuộc sống": Đây là cụm từ quan trọng thể hiện mong muốn cải thiện chất lượng cuộc sống.
- "Quản lý thời gian": Một kỹ năng thiết yếu để có thể kiểm soát tốt hơn cuộc sống hàng ngày.
- "Lời khuyên trên mạng xã hội": Một nguồn thông tin phong phú nhưng cũng dễ gây áp lực.
- "Sống khỏe mạnh và hạnh phúc": Mục tiêu cuối cùng mà mọi người đều hướng tới.
- "Thời gian cá nhân": Khái niệm quan trọng mà nhiều người bỏ quên khi bị cuốn vào công việc.
Hướng Dẫn Shadowing Theo Bước
Để cải thiện phát âm tiếng Anh chuẩn và khả năng giao tiếp, việc áp dụng phương pháp shadow speech là rất hữu ích. Dưới đây là hướng dẫn từng bước để bạn có thể làm theo:
- Nghe video một lần: Hãy lắng nghe nội dung video mà không cần phải theo kịp lời nói. Thư giãn và ghi chú lại những cụm từ nổi bật.
- Phân tích transcript: Tìm những cụm từ, ngữ điệu, và cách diễn đạt mà bạn muốn học hỏi. Đây là cách giúp bạn thấu hiểu nội dung.
- Shadowing: Trong lần nghe thứ hai, hãy bắt đầu lặp lại theo người nói. Sử dụng phần mềm shadowing nếu có thể để theo dõi và cải thiện phát âm.
- Ghi âm lại: Ghi lại giọng nói của bạn trong quá trình shadow speak và nghe lại để đánh giá sự tiến bộ của bản thân.
- Luyện tập thường xuyên: Tiếp tục luyện tập hàng ngày với những video khác nhau để cải thiện ngôn ngữ và khả năng phản xạ.
Áp dụng những cách này sẽ giúp bạn cải thiện khả năng nói tiếng Anh một cách tự nhiên và hiệu quả. Hãy nhớ rằng việc kết hợp giữa thực hành và sự kiên nhẫn là chìa khóa thành công trên con đường học tập của bạn!
Phương Pháp Shadowing Là Gì?
Shadowing là kỹ thuật học ngôn ngữ có cơ sở khoa học, ban đầu được phát triển cho chương trình đào tạo phiên dịch viên chuyên nghiệp và được phổ biến rộng rãi bởi nhà đa ngôn ngữ học Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Nguyên lý cốt lõi đơn giản nhưng cực kỳ hiệu quả: bạn nghe tiếng Anh của người bản xứ và lặp lại to ngay lập tức — như một "cái bóng" (shadow) đuổi theo người nói với độ trễ chỉ 1–2 giây. Khác với luyện ngữ pháp hay học từ vựng bị động, Shadowing buộc não bộ và cơ miệng phải đồng thời xử lý và tái tạo ngôn ngữ thực tế. Các nghiên cứu khoa học xác nhận phương pháp này cải thiện đáng kể phát âm, ngữ điệu, nhịp điệu, nối âm, kỹ năng nghe và độ lưu loát khi nói — đặc biệt hiệu quả cho người luyện IELTS Speaking và muốn giao tiếp tiếng Anh tự nhiên như người bản ngữ.