शैडोइंग अभ्यास: Top 10 Funny Jobs | Max Amini | Stand-up Comedy - YouTube के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

Any doctors here?

⏸ रुका हुआ

गति:

320 वाक्य

यदि वाक्य बहुत छोटे या लंबे हों, तो समायोजित करने के लिए Edit पर क्लिक करें।

Any doctors here?

Any good doctors?

Any doctors?

You're a doctor?

He's a gynecologist.

You're a gynecologist?

I like how hard your lady is laughing.

She's like, oh my God, I never thought it was going to come out in public.

I wonder if we're a gynecologist, because for my own life, Like, I'm a comedian.

I have a long day at work.

I do comedy.

When I go home, I don't feel like doing comedy anymore.

I'm just curious.

When you go home, do you still feel like being a doctor?

I mean, playing doctor?

Oh, my God.

She's laughing so hard.

because she knows he's not even good at his job.

It's been a long time, and he still hasn't been able to figure that out.

What do you do in the politics?

IRS.

You know, everybody in here, not one person pays their taxes right.

Except one person.

Now we have one person.

He is IRS himself.

Buddy, make sure you come see me after the show.

Everybody hates paying tax, especially Iranians.

And we have probably ways to get around it that you don't even know.

But if you give us a little advice, maybe we'll give you a few back.

Can you give us a short little advice that we can learn from you, yeah?

Just pay your taxes.

Did anybody ask you?

Audit him for the rest of his life, every day, for taking your moment away.

Just pay your taxes.

No shit, asshole.

We want to learn something here.

you pay your taxes but we're all gonna learn some new and we're gonna pay some of our taxes why do we have to pay all of the taxes

what do you do sexologist

i'm sure we all can learn a lot from you are you a doctor clinical psychologist okay so this is gets deeper huh is sexologists for the psychos

what do you do like you get there like okay psychologically your dick is getting hard please natalie it's fascinating tell us what happens

men have the biggest problem with the others that's what i said i figured okay Somebody said, oh my gosh.

Who said that?

The Bulgarian?

With a big boyfriend?

Dude, go see the doctor.

Why you lose the erection?

Any advice for that?

Any client who has a baby's girlfriend or something, why you lose the erection?

The problem is with his mother.

The problem is your mother, dude.

Guys, now we know what to say in the bedroom, right?

We say it's my mother's fault.

This is crazy.

Natalie, you rock.

And what about the women?

They're just perfect.

Women cannot have an orgasm.

They can...

Ah, ah, ah!

Oh!

Ah, ah, ah!

What happened, your mother?

Oh, you're...

Ask her, what?

What about?

What should I ask?

Oh, you know her?

Yes.

So, oh, you're talking about her?

Ah, ah, ah!

Why only...

Oh!

What's your name?

Yeah, you, yeah, yeah, blue shirt, yeah.

Aaron.

Aaron?

Yeah.

Are you friends with these guys?

I'm a token white guy.

They look like the most degenerate Persians of Dallas.

They don't look trustworthy at all.

They look shady, man.

And he's like, yes, they are shady.

This is what I love about white people.

He tells it, yes, they are shady.

Oh my God, how did you know?

They do a lot of illegal things in the community.

He was telling me he doesn't pay his taxes.

Nobody here pays taxes.

You and him, the only one.

And you both wear blue shirts.

How did you guys meet?

I met him at a bar.

100

See, the person guy has to tell.

101

Eric goes, oh.

102

Do I tell the truth?

103

And the person goes, I got this.

104

I lie.

105

I know.

106

Man, people are at the ball, okay?

107

What do you do here in Dallas now?

108

I live here and I work in California.

109

Oh, you live here and you work in California.

110

You sound shadier and shadier as we go.

111

Who the f***?

112

Who does that, you know?

113

You work there, but you're like, what is your job there?

114

Healthcare industry.

115

Healthcare industry?

116

So you smuggle drugs?

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And Aaron, what do you do?

118

Pilot.

119

You're a pilot?

120

Yeah.

121

Oh shit, what airline?

122

Not an airline.

123

So you smuggle the drugs for him on your private plane.

124

Now we're understanding.

125

Eric, what do you do?

126

Tell me you're a f***ing lawyer.

127

Finance!

128

Thank you very much for paying for the operation.

129

Of course, they would bring the finance guy.

130

Which bar you guys hang out at?

131

Shady.

132

I work in Cali, but I live in Dallas.

133

Nobody does that shit, bro.

134

You from India?

135

Yeah buddy, what's your name?

136

My name is Iben.

137

Iben, nice to meet you.

138

Are you filming this for insurance purposes?

139

You're a young dude.

140

You came by yourself too?

141

Yes.

142

Yeah?

143

What do you do?

144

I'm a pilot.

145

You're a pilot?

146

Yes.

147

Really?

148

This is a fascinating show.

149

What kind of planes do you fly?

150

I'm a private pilot.

151

A private plane?

152

A private pilot.

153

A private pilot.

154

A private pilot.

155

For private planes?

156

I'm actually training right now.

157

You're training?

158

Bitch, you ain't a pilot yet.

159

You fly those little ass like propeller shit.

160

Every day you just like go to the propeller.

161

Okay, let's go fly in a friendly sky.

162

You know what I'm thinking?

163

I've never heard a pilot that's Indian.

164

That's some racist shit.

165

Think about it.

166

I've never been on any plane.

167

Go, Hey dog, how are you?

168

This is your pilot Roger speaking.

169

How you doing everybody?

170

Very good day, very good day, very good day, very happy day.

171

Oh, we have some chicken masala for you.

172

What do you do?

173

I'm a sex and intimacy coach.

174

sex and intimacy coach so how do you do it in person like do you show up to their house they're like okay warm up coaches here

175

coaches here let's go he's like go he's timing Again?

176

I know a lot of you guys in here are like, I'm a professional.

177

You're not.

178

If you want to find out, tell your woman to tell you the truth.

179

So, give me a number.

180

How many sex toys you have?

181

A lot?

182

A whole closet, huh?

183

Yes, yes.

184

Dildos, you have to be open-minded.

185

men women it doesn't matter use it use it uh i don't know use it as a weapon maybe in the kitchen use it for the dough

186

dildos are very very important you know because you guys in this country you're not allowed to have guns right but if you keep a dildo in your house and the robber happened to be from the middle East.

187

He's like, I will kill you.

188

And you would pull out the dildo.

189

Motherfucker, I got you.

190

The guy would run like a bitch.

191

Oh, astaghfirullah, let's go.

192

He has a dick.

193

He's coming with a dick.

194

Brian, and you're married to an Iranian?

195

No.

196

No?

197

You're here by yourself?

198

You're here?

199

Oh, you're dating an Iranian.

200

Oh, okay.

201

You don't need to be an asshole about it.

202

Nobody says, no, no, no, no, no.

203

Your cheeks don't need to vibrate.

204

No, no, no, no, no.

205

You sound like a fun guy.

206

You got a great attitude.

207

I like that.

208

What do you do?

209

Psychologist.

210

Psychologist.

211

Oh, she needs you.

212

You guys are made in heaven.

213

I really hope it works out.

214

And what do you do?

215

I'm a genius.

216

You're a genius.

217

You definitely need a psychologist, honey.

218

See, in the history of all geniuses in the world, they've never themselves said, I am genius.

219

See, other people identify who's a genius.

220

Brian, what do you think?

221

Huh?

222

She is a genius.

223

She is a genius.

224

You just try to get laid.

225

But the thing is, the truth is, you don't introduce yourself as a genius.

226

I'm sure she's a genius, yeah?

227

But socially, even geniuses are genius enough to know that you don't say that, I am genius.

228

Because they're such geniuses that they know that shit is not okay to say.

229

See, it's a genius thing to do, not to say I'm genius.

230

I don't know how to explain this.

231

And what kind of genius?

232

Like in what format you're a genius?

233

Brian, don't help her.

234

I'm working for Apple.

235

You work for Apple.

236

Okay.

237

Okay, relax.

238

We don't know what she's doing.

239

Calm down.

240

Maybe she's customers there.

241

What can I do for you?

242

Okay.

243

Thank you for calling Apple.

244

Oh, is that the phone?

245

Okay, turn off your phone.

246

Turn it on.

247

Oh, it didn't work?

248

Let me give you to the engineer.

249

Maybe that's the shit she does.

250

Let me find out what she does for Apple.

251

They get tricked really easy.

252

You work for 911?

253

No!

254

This is the lady we're calling.

255

Hi!

256

Please send the police!

257

What's the matter?

258

I'm getting robbed!

259

Does he have a gun?

260

No, he's got a knife!

261

Well, okay then.

262

You'll be just fine.

263

The cops are on their way.

264

They'll be there tomorrow morning.

265

That's a tough job, seriously.

266

Give her a big round of applause.

267

This woman saves lives.

268

Tammy, tell us one of your stories.

269

One of your crazy calls.

270

I've had people call and ask what the number is to 911.

271

You know what, 911?

272

Yes, how can I help you?

273

What's the number for emergency?

274

911.

275

I know, I called 911.

276

I want the emergency card.

277

It's 911.

278

I called 911!

279

What is the 911 for the 911?

280

It's 911.

281

Oh, it's 911?

282

Okay, I call you when I have emergency.

283

What do you do?

284

I'm an engineer.

285

I belong to...

286

Ah, that's beautiful.

287

So you're an engineer and you worked on...

288

B1B bomber.

289

Yeah, the bomber.

290

Yeah, the f***ing bomber.

291

Bomber.

292

You work for the government?

293

I support the U.S.

294

Air Force.

295

Oh, of course you do.

296

Oh, f***.

297

I'm sure you love what you're doing.

298

Who's single?

299

Clap, let me see how many single people here.

300

Clap.

301

Oh, that guy right there, he's like, I am Habibi, I am single.

302

And he brought his phone out, he's like, I am gonna record for evidence.

303

What do you do?

304

It's very important.

305

Security.

306

Security, for what?

307

The club.

308

The club?

309

The nightclub?

310

You work at a nightclub and you cannot find a girl?

311

Musawa, check the situation.

312

There is a problem.

313

The guy works at a nightclub.

314

The girls line up to get in.

315

And you cannot talk to any of these girls, man.

316

Man, big problem.

317

You should go gay.

318

Look, Musawa is like, I am filming this.

319

I don't know what to do now.

320

Good morning, everybody knows.

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