शैडोइंग अभ्यास: Top 10 MOST Powerful Negotiation Tips | Black Swan Method | Chris Voss - YouTube के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

Now let's dive in.

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Now let's dive in.

Number one, is now a bad time to talk?

Now we're going to give you several no-oriented questions in a row

because they're awesome and they help get you an advantage right away.

But one of the things I'm going to underscore on these no-oriented questions is the issue of decision fatigue.

Now look, everybody's got the same problem.

We all suffer from decision fatigue.

You suffer from decision fatigue.

What does that mean?

What that means is there are only so many decisions you can make in a given day.

There are only so many decisions any human being can make in a given day.

That's one of the reasons why if you're in prison and you come up for parole,

you want to come up for parole in the morning instead of the afternoon,

because in the afternoon they're going to give you no decision.

They're not going to be able to make a decision.

You're more likely to stay in jail.

This is not parole and parole board issues.

This is human nature issues.

There are only so many decisions,

there are only so much gas anybody has in a tank to make decisions on a given day.

And that's going to be a result of,

you know, how much sleep they got the night before,

what their diet is, what they ate that day,

whether or not they ate carbs,

where they are in their circadian rhythm.

Everybody hits a circadian low, roughly about 3 a.m and about 3 p.m.,

just part of being a human being, decision fatigue issues.

However, we found in a black swan group,

through practice and application, that people are capable of saying no at pretty much any time of the day.

I had an intern a number of years ago,

only wanted to ask me how and what questions,

because he was horrified about making a mistake.

In the middle of the afternoon,

he'd be asking me how and what questions,

and I just didn't have the gas in the tank to answer him to be able to engage in that deep thinking,

as Danny Kahneman would say.

So consequently, I'd say, like,

I don't know, don't bother me,

leave me alone, instead of giving him an answer.

Finally, I said, look, don't ever ask me a question after 1 o'clock in the afternoon where the answer isn't no,

because I could say no and I can think through the next several steps and give them guidance.

We've used this on a regular basis.

You got to get into practice using no-oriented questions.

And number one is the flip side of the most common thing you're saying on a regular basis,

which is wrong.

Actually, it's not that it's wrong.

It's just not great.

You say, have you got a few minutes to talk?

Now, I know you mean that respectfully.

and we're not throwing respect out the window here.

The Black Swan method is actually extremely respectful.

It's now a bad time to talk.

Test drive it.

Use it on a regular basis.

Build your know-oriented questions, mental synapses,

and experiment with the sort of answers that you get.

You're going to like them.

And as a side note,

I would say to you,

anybody that would say yes to that,

Do you really want to talk to them then,

at that moment, when they've actually said yes to that?

No, you don't.

All right, number two, is it a ridiculous idea?

Use this in place of,

is it a good idea for all the same reasons that I just gave you?

You've got to get your practice in.

Number three, are you against X,

Y, Z, whatever it may be?

Instead of, are you in favor of?

Again, you've got to use this to get into practice.

We had a woman in a hospital services company once who was a little skeptical of our no-oriented questions approach,

walked out of the room during the training

and reached out to the head nurse in a hospital about a program

that she'd been trying to get the head nurse to accept that the head nurse had been rejecting.

Instead of saying, do you want to agree or would you like to do this?

She said, are you against?

And then asked the question.

The head nurse immediately said no. They came to an agreement and they implemented the program.

She came walking back in the room and said,

you guys are not going to believe what just happened.

I've been trying to get agreement on this for weeks.

And I switched from a yes question to a no question and cut the deal.

Got to get your reps in.

Number four, have you given up on X?

Whatever that X may be.

This is context driven.

What's the context?

It has to be something they've already started on.

Otherwise, you're using a black swan skill as a manipulative trap,

which is not what we advise.

They have to have already started on this.

Now when do you use this?

You use this when they are ghosting you.

They've gone silent on you.

This will restart your conversation 999 times out of a thousand

Don't let the fact that it stops one in a thousand times stop you scare you Nothing works all the time.

This works more than anything else does and what makes it work?

Well, you got to keep this in mind Your system is perfectly designed to give you the outcome you've obtained.

100

If they've gone silent on you,

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you've been doing something to contribute to them going silent on you.

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You've probably been explaining.

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You've probably been pitching.

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You've probably been educating.

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I'm going to stop all these things.

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Restart the conversation with this one-shot restart.

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and then your very next move is you've got to get a TR out of them.

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What's a TR?

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That's right.

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How do you get a TR?

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How do you get a that's right?

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You've got to summarize their perspective,

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particularly their reservations, their reasons for not doing it,

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what they're up against, the difficulty of what they might be facing,

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and then go dead silent.

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You do not go, but here's why those aren't good reasons.

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You got to go dead silent and get a that's right out of them.

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If you can't get a that's right out of them at that point,

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you've got to say, it sounds like I've left something out.

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That's a bonus response for you to use here,

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which is not on our top 10 list,

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but helps you get farther in your conversations.

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Number five, and we're going to get into the category here with letting out know a little at a time.

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A person that I consider a good friend and I'm really impressed with,

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Ned Coletti, former GM of the Los Angeles Dodgers.

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We were sitting around talking about negotiation one time.

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Ned is a phenomenal negotiator,

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and he told me the phrase,

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I like to let out know a little at a time.

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This is a great attitude.

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You do not want to let people get blindsided by you

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suddenly saying no. You've got to let it out a little at a time.

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And the first way of letting out no a little at

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a time in a highly collaborative way is how am I supposed to do that?

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Now many of you know this is one of the most famous lines with the Black Swan Method

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and it's pretty much the opening story in the book Never Split the Difference.

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How am I supposed to do that?

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And we originally conceived of this as a way to passively say no,

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even passively aggressively against the throat-cutting negotiators that are really trying to kick your backside.

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And what it is in many other ways is it's an implementation question.

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How questions are about implementation.

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It's designed to let the other side realize that there's some implementation issues here.

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This also falls in the category of what Brandon Voss has labeled forced empathy.

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It forces the other side to take a good,

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empathic look at your situation.

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We use empathy because it works,

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and we use empathy because we want to get it in return.

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you're going to use empathy because it works

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and you're going to use empathy because you want it in return

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and how am I supposed to do that is a great starting point for that.

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Now what happens if they turn around and say well that's your problem.

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Will they put it right back on you?

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Which will happen occasionally.

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Once had a woman say I used how am I supposed to do

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that and it didn't work because because they shot back right at me

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and told me how I was supposed to do that.

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Well, number one, the fact is it's not that it didn't work.

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The fact is, is that it's giving you a better,

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clearer picture of the situation.

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They throw it right back on you.

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They're telling you they're not interested in showing you any empathy.

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That's an interesting clue that maybe you don't want to do business with them.

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All right, I'm going to give you two ways to subscribe to the Black Swan Group's negotiation newsletter,

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which is free.

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It doesn't cost you anything.

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I had a colleague with the FBI that used to like to say,

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if it's free, I'll take three.

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Here's how you subscribe to The Edge.

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If you're in the United States.

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If you're not, I'll give you a method right afterwards.

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Send a text to, the number is 33777.

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That's 33777.

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The text message that you send is Black Swan Method,

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Black Swan Method 233777.

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It's concise.

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It's actionable.

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That's the most important parts of this.

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Concise and actionable.

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Comes to your email inbox on Tuesday mornings when you're ready to rock and roll and get after the week.

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Now, if you're not inside the United States,

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you see the Black Swan website, the homepage.

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You go up on the right-hand side here on this menu here, you see blog.

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Click on that.

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Bang, you're at the negotiation edge.

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On the right-hand side right here, subscribe.

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First name and email, sign up now.

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There's a ton of free information on this site,

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on the Black Swan Group website, home.

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Look at it.

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Get everything free that we have.

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If it's free, you should take three.

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And in the model of letting out no a little at a time,

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here's the next no that you let out,

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which is number six on our list.

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And it is, your offer is very generous.

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I'm afraid that just doesn't work for me.

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Now, here's the beauty aspects of this.

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You mentioned generous.

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You want to encourage generosity on their part.

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That's a good thing for you to throw into this statement.

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Second part, it just doesn't work for me.

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That removes the problem of external criteria.

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Now, my academic brothers and sisters like to talk about,

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well, let's agree on an external criteria.

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Why should you agree to the external criteria?

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Maybe the external criteria is okay and appropriate in a neutral situation or in situations other than yours.

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Well, why should external criteria apply to you?

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In many cases, it doesn't.

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You want to remove an agreement on external criteria from the conversation

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because they're only going to agree to external criteria that works against you.

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And you don't want to put yourself in that corner.

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This is a great way to come back with a much stronger no.

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One of the students in our class at Georgetown said they used that phrase,

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your offer is very generous,

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but I'm sorry it just doesn't work for us.

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And he said the people on the other side of the table looked at each other

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and then looked back at them and said,

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you're right, it is high.

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Now that's an interesting response because you want to have an impact on what you say.

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What you say and what they hear.

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You want them to get across in their brain.

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If stuff doesn't work, there's a pretty good chance it's too high.

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You don't want them to feel backed into a corner when you're letting out Noah a little at a time.

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And this is a great way to do that.

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Don't back people into a corner.

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they will disagree even when it's not in their interest to disagree.

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Taking away their autonomy is a bad idea,

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and that's what happens when you back people into a corner.

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Now, number seven.

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This is another counterintuitive response,

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and you use it for when somebody calls you and says,

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how are you today?

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Instead of saying, fine, you know, how are you?

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Or my back hurts, or it's a wonderful day.

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When they're calling you and saying, how are you today?

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What are they really trying to find out?

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Well, they're really trying to find out,

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are you in a mental place to talk about what I want to talk about?

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So here's how you short circuit this conversation in a way that builds rapport,

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that they appreciate, gathers information,

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and preserves your most precious commodity and theirs, which is time.

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It sounds like you've got a place you want to start.

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They are going to love this.

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Of course they have a place they want to start.

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They've thought about it before they called you.

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Now every now and then somebody's gonna say to you,

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yeah I do have a place I want to start,

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but I really want to know how are you today.

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Cool.

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Then engage in the conversation and then you can get back to the place they wanted to start.

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Everybody wins.

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Number eight, another counterintuitive response.

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And this is how you should respond to questions when you're asked a question.

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So the first way to respond to questions and number eight on our list is,

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what makes you ask?

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Just like that.

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Now, when somebody asks you a question,

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what's more important is the question behind the question.

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What makes you ask? For two reasons.

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Number one, most people are not good at asking questions.

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That question may be a result of a committee decision.

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You know how good a committee is?

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Well, let me give you an example.

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A giraffe is a horse designed by a committee.

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So committee decision questions are going to be off.

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Well, number two, what's really driving at what make them ask is far more important than what they actually asked.

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So you got to find out,

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and this is not disrespectful.

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They're going to be happy to tell you.

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And if they're not, well,

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that tells you a lot about them, too.

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And how can you respond if they say, just answer the question?

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your response is I want to make sure

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that I answer what you're really asking me I'm just trying

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to dial in to what you're really after more respect

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if they don't like respect from you that tells you a lot about them

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and whether or not you should continue to be in business with them now what happens

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if it's a middle of the afternoon their decision fatigue they're having trouble coming up with an answer.

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It's too in-depth.

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The alternate to great calibrated questions and what makes you ask is a calibrated question.

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You want to ask an alternative label,

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an asking label, if you will.

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And so number nine on our list is the alternative to what makes you ask.

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And that is, it seems like you have a good reason for asking that.

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Or it seems like you have a good reason for asking that.

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I gave you both inflections there.

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Make sure you shut the front door right after you use that label.

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What does that mean?

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Go silent.

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Count thousands to yourself if you have to.

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Let them break the silence.

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You won't get past three.

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Be prepared to count to ten and wait respectfully.

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This is a respectful dynamic and respect is one of your best choices.

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Finally, number 10 on the top 10 list of black swan negotiation bullets.

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You're going to use this when the other side is failing to perform,

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when they're not living up to an agreement, what do you say?

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It seems like you have a reason for not doing and then whatever it is that they didn't do,

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X, Y, perform, finish the contract,

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finish the work, call me back.

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They're going to have a reason.

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They're probably afraid to tell you

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This is the best way to re-engage a collaborative approach to whatever the problem is so that they feel safe and respected.

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Always the keys to a long-term relationship.

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So these were the 10 most powerful negotiation bullets of the Black Swan Method.

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Share this video across your network.

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Share with the people that are on your side.

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Remember, if you want to go fast, go alone.

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If you want to go far, go as a team.

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And let the Black Swan Group continue to help you up-level your negotiation skills.

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