शैडोइंग अभ्यास: Want to be a $10M+ entrepreneur? Stop taking sh*t personally. - YouTube के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

Hey everyone, Charlie Morgan here,

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Hey everyone, Charlie Morgan here,

and I'm currently making $10 million a year with an agency and coaching business,

and I want to get to $50 million a year.

And something that I have been doing a lot recently is reflecting on things

that have allowed me to get to $10 million and are going to help me get to $50 million.

And a big one is how I resolve conflicts within my business.

Now, this isn't some shiny flavor of the month silver bullet strategy.

This isn't going to massively move the needle in your business,

but I'm going to share with you some level of emotional wisdom that I think will,

you know, help you in growing your business.

And this is the kind of thing that you're only ready to learn once.

And it's something that if you listen to over the next 10,

20 minutes here, I'll be able to embed this into your brain.

You can download it and it's going to serve you really well

and probably save you making a lot of mistakes that I've probably made in the past.

Now,

conflict is basically when two human beings perceive a component of reality

and fundamentally disagree on their perception of it so

if i'm looking at you know um this pen

and i say this pen is black

and you say no this pen is blue then we have conflict right it's disagreement of perception

when you have your business you know you're going to be

working with customers you're working with all sorts of groups of

people customers vendors suppliers investors um you know subscribers competitors like

your team you know you're going to be working with lots of people

and the thing about people

and the thing about you is you're not always going to

see eye to eye you're not always going to have the same opinion

and perspective of different things when a conflict arises you need to learn to handle

that well because there's two ways you can handle conflict um

or three ways three ways you can handle conflict the first is to dominate

and that basically means if you're in a position of power

or in a position of leverage then you basically dominate the perspective

and force the other person to concede

and they don't actually change their perspective they just end up resenting you now this is a very common way

that a lot of entrepreneurs deal with problems because they are the boss

and they know best

and that's a big bad way to deal with conflict it shouldn't like a disagreement arises

and the decision needs to be made it shouldn't just be whoever shouts the loudest

that wins because shouting is not a skill

that is any in any way shape or form conducive to intelligent thought

and if you and your executive have a disagreement on how something should be done just

because you're louder than them or have the power to fire them doesn't mean

that your word in any way shape

or form has more criticality that's even a word it doesn't mean you're more critical than them the way

that you need to handle yourself in business is you need to see your business as a proxy for conflict

so let me give you a geopolitics metaphor to explain this america

and russia don't really like each other now i'm not saying

that there's world war three happening but the point i'm making is that,

you know, America and Russia don't like each other,

or at least as, you know,

massive political economic powers, they're not the best buddies, let's say like that.

And so America and Russia have conflict because,

you know, Russia sees the world through their political lens and their capitalistic lens and,

you know, through the lens of the dictatorship of Putin,

but America sees, you know,

the world through the lens of freedom.

And so both these countries have different value systems.

And because they're pretty large economic powers in the world,

you know, they trade with each other and,

you know, they trade with partners that are,

you know, different countries and stuff, and they disagree fundamentally.

And they like taking shots at each other,

but they would never do it on their home turf.

Enter Ukraine.

By bolstering Ukraine and by,

you know, by sending ammunitions and munitions and weapons to Ukraine,

America is able to harm Russia through proxy.

and the same thing is true with Taiwan right so China

and America they're not best mates right but China wants to take over Taiwan

but America won't let them and

so America is kind of able to fight a war with China although not really a war

but is able to damage China and its progress

and its economic development through a proxy of Taiwan without any

danger to their own home country without any danger to their citizens

so when when we talk about the word proxy war this is

when a great national super like you know um like superpower like america

or whatever will use other countries and their land

and their people as a proxy to fight the war you know

and this is happening right now in in the middle east why the hell i'm telling you

that there's actually a reason your business is a proxy okay

so in in an inner conflict of disagreement whether that's between you

and a customer's asked for a refund between you

and your business partner on what you should do

and how you should make a decision whether that's between you

and an investor asking for their money back whether it's between you

and an executive who's really unhappy with how you've handled something

or whatever like there is you and the person you have the conflict with

but then there is your business in the middle okay

and the way that you need to handle conflict

and this is the key

if you can't do this you're not going to make it very far in business

because you're going to have a low emotional quotient you're going to get angry

and sad

and make stupid decisions in the long term the way you

do this is you treat conflict with your with your conflictee the same way

that america treats russia

or china they pick a proxy the business okay now what this means is

that if you like and this is the thing is america's always trying to win

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and dominate china and slow down when you're

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when you're in conflict with a human being your your objective shouldn't be to win

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or dominate them or to have them force their way into your perception

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because that just usually creates resentment and issues but the point is is

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Don't ever take anything personally fight on the land of the business not in your own home

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And obviously I'm not talking about like the physical proximity to your desk But you know what I mean there?

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It's kind of like America would never you know Actually deploy their own troops in Russia.

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They'd never like they'd never take the war to their shores

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But what they what they will do is they'll send resources to a proxy

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that damages their opponent

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and the same thing is true with your business now It's not quite a perfect parallel

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because you might not always be trying to do damage to your opponent But let me give you an example.

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Um, we had a customer recently who asked for a refund

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completely um without any like any backing let's just say behind it

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and it was a pretty significant amount of money

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and there was no like There was no logical reason behind why they were asking

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um you know and naturally when

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that happens you obviously make it clear there's no reasons um

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and then the threats come

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and then obviously they're cornered like some sort of financial honey badger where they just need the money back

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because they put themselves in a negative situation

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and they see you as the easiest way to recuperate the funds to put their mind at rest

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so you know they're not acting rationally and whatever and

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so they they start threatening you with bad reviews

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and disputes they get a message with your clients

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and make youtube videos and it's kind of like you know these threats come out

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and it's very easy for you to forget

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that this is about business right it's in this is this is crucial of any conflict

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that you face whether it is with a disgruntled customer whether

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it is with a team member that's leaving you whether it

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is with an investor that's trying to pressure you whether it

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is with a with a team member who's really pissed you

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off it is your business it is not it has nothing to do with you personally

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and the second you take anything that happens personally, you're fucked.

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You want to see the business as like a,

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it's like a shield that absorbs all of the emotions and the business takes the hit, right?

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Not you.

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So if a client, if someone,

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let's say one of my competitors,

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um, makes a shit, a nasty video about me online,

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you know, it's not about me, it's my business.

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And even if they're attacking me directly,

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what they're really doing is they're attacking my,

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um, commercial power, right my ability to you know exercise dominance over the market they're not attacking me at midnight

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when i'm on my own in my home with my own thoughts

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and my own values no no no this is very much a business attack right

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and so the way that you have the best way to handle conflict is to

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is to compartmentalize it

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and look at it as an attack on the business not on you the problem

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that you have right now and that you might be facing is that you are your business

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And so when you don't like when you have like an entity

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and a team of people

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and the business even though it is an intangible you know

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a collection of just this fucking weird ball of chaos

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that you've somehow managed to sew together with enough sweat

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and tears and you're just holding this thing

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and just trying to keep it together that's what a business

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is is not real it's just it's not your office it's

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not your team it's not your products it's just this weird random set of variables

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that you just fused into this thing

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that somehow makes you money by some fucking miracle

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that is what is under attack it's not you it's not

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your emotions it's you you cannot take things personally you know

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and the problem that most people have is because they're

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so involved in their business like they are they they are the customer support

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and they are they are so the best way to handle conflict

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when you can is to you know have a team member handle it

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and then for you to have the final decision and

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because you're not involved with this person it's easy to be more objective

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but that's just a lesson that i learned and it's it's something

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that i'm carrying through and something that i have to exercise quite regularly now

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because you know i've got a lot of team members

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and my team's growing and my customer base is going

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and my prices go up and

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so you know the further you scale the higher the tension

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the the more important it becomes for you to compartmentalize

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and to stop never and just to never take things personally like don't get me wrong

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if someone came after my mother or if someone threatened my kids not

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that i have any um but

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if someone threatened to like kill me personally then it's like

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okay well maybe i should let this register on a personal level

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and you know i'll start acting accordingly

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but with the business any sort of conflict you face any anybody anytime anyone does anything

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that is is damaging it's damaging the business not you

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and it might i I understand why it's a natural response for you to take this personally,

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but your business is business.

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It's a big fucking difference between something that is personal and something that is business.

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And if you can learn to make that distinction,

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you're going to be far more objective in the measurements you use to handle your conflict and thereby,

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you know, keeping your reputation strong.

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And there's nothing good that comes out of an emotional response to conflict.

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You're going to say something you regret, do something you regret.

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And it takes time and practice to manage your impulses

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but that's pretty much everything i want to talk about in this video

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if you're running an agency or a coaching or consulting

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or info business i have two things to sell you the first is a one-on-one advisory service

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if you want to work with me to scale you to

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100 200 500 a million dollars a month okay a month whatever

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that looks like there'll be a link in the description for

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my one-on-one services yeah check it out the um links in the description

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and um just a quick one i thought i'd give you

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a little bit of wisdom take care i'm fucking wise i'm too young to be wise geez

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