शैडोइंग अभ्यास: What Old Fashioned Moms Understood About Parenting That We Forgot - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें
अभ्यास मोड चुनें
हर मोड पूरी स्क्रीन का अभ्यास कक्ष खोलता है।
279 वाक्य
यदि वाक्य बहुत छोटे या लंबे हों, तो समायोजित करने के लिए Edit पर क्लिक करें।
1
Believe it or not, there was a generation of mothers who were raising large families, running entire households, preserving food, educating their children, tending to their homes from the ground up.
2
And somehow, they weren't drowning in overstimulation, resentment, and the constant pressure to keep their children entertained every waking moment.
3
They weren't Googling toddler activities near me at 9am on a Tuesday, wondering how they're going to fill the next eight hours of their day.
4
Today, so many of us feel like full-time cruise directors in our own homes.
5
We're constantly rotating activities, planning outings, managing emotions, diffusing sibling conflict, trying to keep everyone happy,
6
and then we collapse at the end of the day, wondering why we're already dreading tomorrow.
7
It's exhausting, and frankly, no one's even tipping.
8
Somewhere along the way, we didn't just change how we raise children.
9
We changed how we thought about children in the first place, and that is the root of the problem.
10
The key is to shift how you think about your child.
11
If you see your child as someone whose needs must constantly be met through a consistent flow of stimulation
12
and entertainment and emotional management, then of course your days will feel exhausting and never-ending.
13
But if you begin to see your child as someone who is meant to be trained, formed, and brought into the life of your home,
14
as someone who's not the center of the household but a participating member of it, everything begins to settle into a place in a way that feels really very simple.
15
Almost like someone's already figured this out long ago and we've just been reinventing increasingly more complicated wheels ever since.
16
And so in this video I want to walk through what old-fashioned mothers understood about parenting that we have largely forgotten
17
and why reclaiming this way of thinking is one of the most freeing transformations you can make in motherhood.
18
If you're new here, I'm Kiri
19
and I help out burnt-out Christian mothers retrain their brains
20
and calm their nervous systems so that they can escape survival mode and fall back in love with motherhood.
21
And if you're wondering how I went from chronic fight or flight to building a joyful home without changing my circumstances,
22
I share the exact biblical brain rewiring process step-by-step in my free workshop.
23
The link is below.
24
So the more your life revolves around your children, the more chaotic your home will feel, and the more difficult your children will actually become.
25
It's one of those delightful paradoxes of parenting that no one warns you about.
26
A lot of what I talk about today comes from a book called Hunt, Gather, Parent
27
and what struck me as interesting about this book is how
28
so many of the concepts in the book were simply a
29
rediscovery of what scripture has already been instructing all along
30
and ironically the author i don't believe is a christian
31
so forewarning there fair warning there
32
if you are thinking about buying this book there's a lot
33
it's one of those things you have to eat the meat spit out the bones
34
and take it all with a grain of salt
35
because again she's not a christian but anyway i did just find that interesting, the parallels with scripture, because what she observed in other cultures,
36
like children contributing to the household and participating
37
and being trained into the rhythms of daily life is not actually new and profound advice at all.
38
It's biblical.
39
And yet today we've created a completely different paradigm where the child becomes the center of the home
40
and everything about our days bend around them, the schedule, the activities, the energy, everything.
41
But old fashioned mothers did not live that way.
42
And so what I found too, in her research in the book is
43
that a lot of the discoveries she found
44
when she was going to these cultures really mimicked the way that old-fashioned parents used to raise their children.
45
It's sort of like they just lived their lives
46
and they contributed to the home economy by managing their homes
47
and creating order and maybe even earning an income in some way.
48
And their children were brought into all of that, not as this like revolutionary parenting philosophy, but just as like a simple expectation of the home.
49
It's like, you live here, cool, you contribute here too, right?
50
It's shockingly simple, but we have gone away from that so much in parenting.
51
And what's interesting is that they didn't separate their lives from their children in the way that we tend to now.
52
They didn't feel the need to carve out an entirely separate category of kid activities
53
and mom life and self-care as if those things had to exist independently of one another.
54
They did their work with their children.
55
They lived their lives with their children.
56
And even the things that filled their own cup were often done alongside their children rather than in opposition to them.
57
And I think that's where we've strayed.
58
Historically, mothers were not outsourcing the formation of their children to activities and programs.
59
They were integrating their children into real life, into meaningful work at home, into their own daily rhythms.
60
And that integration is what allowed both the mother and the child to thrive without this constant tension of, I need a break from you in order to function.
61
Because when your life and your children's lives are constantly at odds with each other, then motherhood will feel really draining.
62
But when your children are brought into the life that you're already living, then there's a sense of alignment that makes the entire day feel more peaceful and far less fragmented.
63
You stop feeling like you're managing two separate competing realities, what I need to do versus what my children need from me.
64
And you start living one integrated life where everyone has a role.
65
So we should stop asking, how do I keep my child busy today?
66
And instead think, how do I bring my child into what I'm already doing?
67
And this will completely change how you think about your child.
68
And that single shift will remove an enormous amount of pressure from your day too.
69
I'm not saying that you need to think about your child as a commodity.
70
That would be a completely wrong way to think about them, but rather as a capable contributing member to your home who's being trained and discipled within the life that you're building.
71
And once you can make that shift in your mind about how you think of your children, then something that feels almost too simple to be true will begin to happen.
72
You stop feeling like your child's cruise director and you start actually enjoying their presence in your home.
73
And it's really amazing when you start to see your child just like being a genuine help from a very, very young age.
74
That's like one of the blessings of motherhood for me.
75
Another paradigm shift that might be a hot take is this.
76
It's not your job to entertain the children.
77
It is, however, your job to train them, disciple them, and bring them into the meaningful work and rhythms of your home.
78
But the trap is that if you are simply trying to just appease and entertain them all the time, it becomes really difficult to actually disciple and truly train them on the important life skills and lessons.
79
And so if your entire day is structured around keeping your children happy, you will end up exhausted.
80
And they will be trained to be incredibly difficult people to be around when you aren't able to entertain them.
81
And this concept is so freeing, actually, because it means that you don't have to center your days around activities that solely benefit the child.
82
It means that if you despise going to indoor playplaces or constantly planning elaborate kid-centered outings, you don't have to do another one in your whole life.
83
And your children will be perfectly fine.
84
Better than fine, actually.
85
They might even develop the lost art of entertaining themselves, which previous generations somehow managed without a single sensory bin, you guys.
86
That does not mean that we never do fun things with our children because for example, I genuinely delight in my children's delight.
87
And sometimes what we enjoy overlaps with what our children enjoy.
88
And I, for one love, for example, play dates.
89
I host them often and it brings me immense joy to watch the children play with friends while I host other moms.
90
But our days no longer revolve around the child centric activities that we used to do.
91
And like thinking, okay, what's the morning activity?
92
What's the afternoon activity?
93
All of that is just, it's gone, right?
94
The structure of the day is the work of the home, the rhythms that sustain the family and the things that are just life-giving for everyone.
95
And the children are brought into all of that.
96
Because if you haven't noticed, when the day revolves around entertainment, children often become even more restless after that entertainment is gone, not less.
97
It's like sugar.
98
The more you give, the more they crash.
99
It almost stunts their own imagination.
100
But I've learned that if I just do my thing more often
101
and I let them either join in or find their own things to do to keep them busy, they end up being perfectly satisfied playing with a stick for three hours.
102
A stick, okay?
103
Not a $47 Montessori-inspired wooden tool, but like a stick from the yard.
104
So here is the key on deciding if the activity makes sense for your family.
105
If that activity makes them less of a joy to be around afterwards, the activity is probably the issue.
106
And you'll find that those are probably the exact activities that you dread the most.
107
Funny how that works, right?
108
Almost like your instincts were trying to tell you something the whole time.
109
Listen, it's perfectly acceptable to bring your children into your life and the building of your own home economy.
110
That's what old-fashioned moms knew and they understood and surely felt absolutely zero guilt about.
111
They didn't need permission from a parenting expert to let their children help with real work.
112
They just did it because it was a Tuesday and there were dishes to do.
113
And so when you fire yourself from that role of cruise director for your children, you start to notice just how little your children actually need to feel content.
114
So many of the things that we thought they needed suddenly start to look completely irrelevant.
115
And yes, even toys.
116
We've built an entire culture around toys, and yet they are not nearly as essential as we've been led to believe.
117
In fact, they are a remarkably recent invention that we somehow convince ourselves are fundamental to childhood.
118
So yes, toys, and I mean toys in general, like the whole concept of toys, is a result of the industrial revolution and the rise of consumer culture
119
that needed to convince mothers that their children required specially manufactured objects to develop properly.
120
And dare I say, they are irrelevant.
121
And by the way, I write this as my son is playing with toy cars, like the hypocrite that I am.
122
But yeah, we do have toys, okay?
123
But when you really think about it, children historically did not have rooms filled with toys.
124
They had real environments, real tools, and real work, and the great outdoors, and all the things around the house to play with.
125
They had sticks and mud and the family's actual work to participate in.
126
And somehow, shockingly, they turned out fine.
127
Built entire civilizations, actually. and not endless entertainment.
128
And this doesn't mean that you need to throw out every toy in your home or swing to the other extreme, because clearly I'm not doing that either.
129
But it does mean
130
that you can release the pressure to constantly keep up with what everyone else is buying
131
and doing and providing for their children.
132
And instead, remember what scripture prioritizes, which is not endless entertainment,
133
but training and stewardship and bringing our children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
134
And then you'll realize something really surprising about your children.
135
What we often label as boredom in children is very often just a lack of meaningful responsibility.
136
We've mistaken their restlessness for a need for more stimulation when really it's just a need for more significance.
137
They're not bored.
138
They're just purposeless and there's a difference.
139
So in our home, one of the foundational principles is
140
that everyone has a role to play and no one is simply floating through the day.
141
Even my one-year-old has a role to play.
142
So I go out of my way to make my children feel like they have a job to do.
143
And because I want them to grow up with that deep understanding that they belong to something, that they contribute to something meaningful to the family and that they are needed within this family.
144
Now, this does come at an upfront cost, and I want to be clear about that because I think that this is where most mothers opt out.
145
Training children to be helpful isn't efficient in the beginning, but it pays dividends later.
146
It's an investment with a terrible short-term return, but a really, really excellent long-term return,
147
which is why most of us living in our instant gratification culture don't do it.
148
So in the beginning, it is slower, it's messier, it requires a lot of patience.
149
For example, my three-year-old and five-year-old now do the dishes from start to finish.
150
And that's amazing.
151
But that didn't happen overnight.
152
And it certainly didn't happen without effort on my end.
153
So at first, I taught them how to load the dishwasher.
154
And even that was divided into even smaller segments, right?
155
My three-year-old sprays the dishes and my five-year-old loads them up.
156
And of course, in the beginning, they did a careless job and things were flipped over the wrong way and items were just in the wrong place.
157
And it would have been far easier for me to just step in and do it myself.
158
But instead of correcting everything for them, I turned it into a training opportunity.
159
And I saw those messes, the water everywhere, all over the floor and just broken dishes and things like that as an investment into the future, which is where we are now,
160
where they do the dishes on their own.
161
And it's a huge blessing to our family.
162
So like if something looked off in the dishwasher, we would stand at the dishwasher together and I would say, okay, can anyone tell me what looks off here?
163
And then they would, you know, eagerly scan the dishwasher and then one of them would shout out, the cup is flipped over.
164
And I would say, yes, okay, let's fix it.
165
And then we would move to the next drawer.
166
Okay, anything wrong with this picture?
167
The spatula goes on the top shelf and then they would fix it.
168
And so slowly through these small, almost like playful corrections, they learned how to do it better.
169
Still not perfectly, but I've just learned to let that go because the job still gets done nonetheless.
170
Then once they mastered the loading of the dishwasher, I began to teach them how to unload the dishwasher, starting with categories.
171
So my three-year-old owns the silverware while my five-year-old owns the bowls.
172
And then once they learned how to do those properly, then we added new categories in, like the cups and straws for one and utensils for the other.
173
And what used to be something that took 10 minutes of my time now takes them 30 minutes, but those 30 minutes are an investment.
174
They're learning a skill and they're contributing to the home.
175
And I'm not standing there supervising them like a foreman.
176
I'm just doing something else, which means that I've actually bought myself time, not lost it.
177
And then that's a bonus because then they are occupied in meaningful work instead of floundering, looking for something else to do or someone to fight with.
178
And it turns out purposeful children fight less. Who knew?
179
Maybe everyone before 1970, apparently.
180
Okay.
181
But my point is, yeah, it just teaches your children teamwork too.
182
They learn how to be on a team together and less sibling rivalry and all kinds of benefits to this.
183
Now, one thing that I want you to keep in mind too, is that children are like little emotional barometers.
184
They're constantly reading and reflecting the atmosphere of the home.
185
And it's very difficult to raise peaceful, capable children in a home that is constantly being led by a mother who is stuck in fight or flight, because this is where so many moms get stuck.
186
They hear something like this and everything that I'm talking about in this video, and they think that sounds lovely, but I don't even have the capacity for the bare minimum,
187
let alone, you know, training my children on something that's really complicated in the beginning.
188
And I'm already overwhelmed.
189
I'm already overstimulated and I'm barely holding it together.
190
And that's exactly why this channel exists in the first place, because if your nervous system is constantly on edge, even the mess that naturally comes with training your children will feel intolerable,
191
and I've been there.
192
It will feel like one more thing that you can't handle rather than an investment that you're making.
193
I had a student in my course tell me
194
that once they began changing the atmosphere of their home
195
and bringing more calm and purpose into it by regulating their own nervous system
196
and finding joy in their own role as a mother, their children started sassing less and fighting less, and she said that they responded differently almost immediately Which makes sense
197
because children tend to mirror the environment they're living in
198
which is exactly why most mothers don't struggle with the concept
199
of training their children They struggle with their tolerance for the mess
200
that comes with it And I understand that
201
and that's exactly why I have my free workshop in the link below that you can join.
202
And I teach you all about how I got out of that tighter flight.
203
So if you're constantly avoiding messes and like chaos, then you may also be eliminating your child's opportunity to actually become capable.
204
Because the reality is, is that children will not do things well at first.
205
They will spill, they will forget, they will do it imperfectly.
206
And if your standard is perfection, then you'll end up doing everything yourself and you'll resent that.
207
You'll be the martyr mother who does everything because it's just easier, which is actually code for, I can't tolerate the discomfort of watching them learn.
208
For example, my one-year-old has the job of filling our rice mason jar when it's empty.
209
So we have this really big mason jar and we put rice in it.
210
And when that's empty, it's his job to fill it.
211
And so he's one.
212
Okay.
213
So yeah, it's exactly as chaotic as it sounds.
214
And I can hear some of you gasping like a one-year-old with rice, loose rice.
215
Yes.
216
Okay stay with me.
217
So I'll take the large cup of rice that I get from Azure Standard.
218
It's like a food grade five gallon bucket.
219
And I'll place a funnel into the mason jar, hand him his measuring cup.
220
And then I just let him go to work, filling up the mason jar with rice.
221
It took four seconds to teach him how to do this, right?
222
I just like put a couple of scoops in the mason jar and he figured it out and he was like, yes, let me add it.
223
And so in the beginning there was dry rice everywhere.
224
It was scattered in ways that totally made me question my own decisions for letting him do this job.
225
But I made the conscious choice to see
226
that mess as an investment rather than a problem because every time he's done the job, he's improved.
227
And honestly, the rice is cheap and it took me 10 seconds to vacuum it up.
228
And he just had the best time and he felt so empowered doing it.
229
And he was genuinely contributing to the home because that was a chore that I actually needed to do.
230
And now not only does he do it better, but he lights up when he gets to do it.
231
Every time I open the pantry, he reaches for the rice bucket as if to say, is it time?
232
Can I do my job?
233
He wishes we ate rice more often so that he could participate more often in that chore.
234
And so that is the heart of a child.
235
They are not craving constant stimulation.
236
They are craving purpose and they are literally built to be helpful, which is such a blessing.
237
And so when that purpose is missing, it doesn't disappear, it will just redirect itself, usually into misbehavior.
238
And so in our home, when a child misbehaves, we don't default to isolating them or removing them from the flow of the home, you know, making them feel more like a problem.
239
Instead, we try to bring them further into the home and into the purpose of the home.
240
And so in our house, we call it hard labor, which I'll admit sounds really dramatic, but really it's just redirecting them and their energy into more meaningful work.
241
And so this might look like scrubbing the baseboards
242
or mopping the floors by hand or doing something that's physically engaging and productive.
243
Oftentimes my eldest son will, you know, go outside with my husband and do really hard yard work out there with him.
244
And what's hilarious is that my children often ask for hard labor.
245
They're like, can I do hard labor?
246
Can I do hard labor?
247
So I don't think that it's too traumatizing for them.
248
In fact, I think that they instinctively understand something that we have forgotten.
249
And it's that physical work is really regulating and it's really good for us.
250
And that meaningful contribution feels good.
251
That being needed is better than being coddled.
252
So here's the caveat.
253
We don't want our children to feel like little slaves.
254
So there is a way to do this without them feeling like your own personal slaves.
255
Okay.
256
And you can make them feel like they are part of the team and you can make it fun.
257
And you know, you have to let them know
258
that you genuinely need their help and
259
that they are a valuable part of the team
260
and they need to see the impact that what they're doing has on the household because this is the paradox of children.
261
They have an innate desire to be part of something that matters, their family.
262
That's how God designed them.
263
Genesis 2.15 says, the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work and keep it.
264
We were created to work and to contribute and to be part of something meaningful and our children crave that same design.
265
And when they're disconnected from that, they will seek stimulation elsewhere, often in ways that come out as defiance or chaos or conflict with other family members.
266
But when you give them meaningful responsibility, you're not just correcting behavior, you're restoring their place within the home and empowering them to contribute,
267
which means that the issue was never the behavior in the first place.
268
It was what was shaping their motivation all along.
269
So if there's anything that you take from this, I hope it's that you can relax a little bit
270
and you can just breathe the breath of fresh air and you can take the weight off your shoulders.
271
My theory is that old fashioned moms had a much more relaxed way of parenting, which might be how they were able to average many more children than the national average today.
272
They weren't stressed out about whether they were doing enough enrichment activities.
273
They were just living their lives and bringing their children along.
274
Shockingly simple and shockingly effective.
275
And if this is the kind of transformation you're craving, where motherhood stops feeling so reactive and like this uphill battle, then I'd love for you to watch my free workshop.
276
I walk you through the exact biblical brain rewiring process that helped me to build a peaceful, joyful home and get out of survival mode.
277
And it's helped so many other women do the same.
278
So the link for that is below.
279
It's always such a joy to have you here and I'll see you in the next video.
ऐप डाउनलोड करें
धाराप्रवाह बोलने के लिए ज़रूरी सब कुछ
AI उच्चारण स्कोरहर वाक्य का स्कोर
IPA अभ्यासहर ध्वनि में महारत
शब्दावलीअपना शब्द भंडार बनाएँ
शब्द गेमखेलते हुए सीखें
FOR YOU
अनुशंसित वीडियो
B22
156 वाक्य
Why “Good Parenting” Creates Clingy Kids
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B2167 वाक्य
The Proverbs 31 Woman’s Guide to Biblical Self-Care | The Reset You Need
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
732 वाक्य
Doing It Alone: Huda Mustafa on Single Motherhood, Fame, and Why You Get to Come First Too
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
918 वाक्य
Adulting in Our 30s - New Habits, Values, & Life Lessons We’ve Learned | AsianBossGirl Ep 291
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
195 वाक्य
16 Habits of an Organised Mum | Time Saving Mom Hacks with Emily Norris
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B143 वाक्य
This is what I'm feeding my kids tonight #growyourownfood #offgridcooking
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
124 वाक्य
The Kids Criticize Frankie on Mother’s Day | The Middle
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
257 वाक्य
The Buy Nothing Rebellion is Growing... No More CRAP
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
93 वाक्य
Life at Its Simplest
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
338 वाक्य
The *Ultimate* Beginner's Guide to ACTIVATING FEMININE ENERGY
American AccentDaily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
301 वाक्य
10 Traditional Chinese Health Habits My Mom Taught Me (What Science Says)
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
25 वाक्य
Charlize Theron Opens Up About Being a Mom
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
इस पाठ के बारे में
इस पाठ में, आप पुरानी पीढ़ी की माताओं द्वारा पालन-पोषण की समझ के बारे में जानेंगे, जिससे आप अपने बच्चों के साथ संबंध को बेहतर बनाने के तरीकों को समझ सकेंगे। आपको यह भी सीखने को मिलेगा कि बच्चों को कैसे सक्रिय रूप से परिवार का एक हिस्सा बनाया जाए, जिससे न केवल आपका परिवार जीवन सरल हो, बल्कि आप सभी को एक साथ खुश रहने का अनुभव हो। यह ज्ञान आपको अंग्रेजी में उचित संवाद करने और अपने विचारों को प्रभावी ढंग से व्यक्त करने में मदद करेगा, विशेष रूप से जब आप शैडोइंग तकनीकों का उपयोग कर रहे हों।
मुख्य शब्दावली और वाक्यांश
- पालन-पोषण - Parenting
- सक्रिय भागीदारी - Active participation
- संवेदनाओं का प्रबंधन - Managing emotions
- संस्कार और प्रशिक्षण - Training and formation
- सार्वजनिक कार्य - Household chores
- कमजोरी और थकान - Exhaustion and fatigue
- संतुलन बनाना - Creating balance
अभ्यास टिप्स
जब आप इस वीडियो को सुनें, तो ध्यान रखें कि इसके स्पीच की गति प्राकृतिक है। आप अंग्रेजी उच्चारण में सुधार के लिए इसे सुनने के साथ-साथ shadow speak का उपयोग कर सकते हैं। अपने आप को शब्दों और वाक्यों के साथ जोड़ें और उन्हें बार-बार दोहराएं। वीडियो में दी गई विचारधाराओं पर आपकी प्रतिक्रिया और विचारों को भी व्यक्त करें। यह न केवल आपके शैडोइंग कौशल को बढ़ाएगा बल्कि आपकी अंग्रेजी बोलने की क्षमता को भी सुधारेगा।
रस्सी बनाने के लिए एक आसान तरीका है कि आप सबसे पहले एक वाक्य को सुनें और फिर उसे जोर से बोलें। किरणी की आवाज़ को ध्यान से सुनें और उस पर ध्यान केंद्रित करें। अगर आपको अपनी आवाज़ को सही करने में परेशानी होती है, तो आप अंग्रेजी शैडोइंग तकनीक का उपयोग कर सकते हैं। यह आपको अपनी प्रगति को जल्दी देखने में मदद करेगा।
इस वीडियो का व्याकरण
वक्ता जिन संरचनाओं का सबसे अधिक प्रयोग करता है, वीडियो के असली शब्दों के साथ:
| संरचना | वीडियो में |
|---|---|
| “used to” used to + क्रिया — बीती आदत या स्थिति जो अब नहीं है | used to raise · used to do · used to be |
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — पहले शुरू हुआ काम जो अब भी जारी है | we've just been reinventing · has already been instructing |
| शर्त वाले वाक्य if + उपवाक्य, will/would + क्रिया — शर्त और उसका नतीजा | if your standard is perfection, then you'll end |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — बीता हुआ काम जिसका असर अभी भी है | have largely forgotten · we've created · have gone |
शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?
शैडोइंग (Shadowing) एक विज्ञान-समर्थित भाषा सीखने की तकनीक है जो मूल रूप से पेशेवर दुभाषिया प्रशिक्षण के लिए विकसित की गई थी। विधि सरल लेकिन शक्तिशाली है: आप मूल अंग्रेज़ी ऑडियो सुनते हैं और तुरंत इसे ज़ोर से दोहराते हैं — जैसे वक्ता की छाया 1-2 सेकंड की देरी से। शोध से पता चलता है कि यह उच्चारण सटीकता, स्वर, लय, जुड़ी हुई ध्वनियाँ, सुनने की समझ और बोलने की प्रवाहशीलता में काफ़ी सुधार करता है।