쉐도잉 연습: 2677 - Conversation Coaching Part 2: Keep the Conversation Going - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기

Hey, Aubrey, how are you today?

I'm great, Michelle.

How are you doing?

I'm doing really well.

I am excited to be recording with you today.

So yeah, guys, we have all been there.

You are talking and then our topic kind of runs its course and you just, right, Aubrey, can't you feel that?

The conversation starts lagging.

It's dying out.

It just, you can tell that something's not going really well.

Right.

Maybe there's an awkward silence.

Right.

None of us, especially in the States, in America, no one wants an awkward silence.

We are not comfortable with that.

So we need to know how to avoid that, right?

And one of the things that you are going to learn about today, one of the best ways to do this is to ask questions.

So today you are going to learn strategies and phrases

that will help you keep the conversation going to avoid these conversation faux pas, those awkward pauses.

We are so excited to share this with you today.

Yes.

All right.

So let's hear the episode hey there aubry what have you

got going on today oh i am taking my daughter to

a job fair it's her first in-person interview she's only 16

i hope it goes well she's very nervous what about you

oh my gosh good luck we're all pulling for her i love

that um well yeah today tonight i'm going over to the

botanical gardens for a i don't know an evening walk event

or something across the park from my house yes very cultury nice i love

that well you notice i asked lindsay what about you

which is an interesting follow-up right if they've asked you an interesting question

and you want to know their answer as well you can

say what about you we got a great question from a listener about what about you versus how about you

that i'm excited to answer today

and i think this possibly could be one of our top 20 most important episodes for connection Aubrey, because you want to make sure you're flipping things back to other people

and asking them kind of maybe not always the same question, but a similar question.

You're not being a, what do we call in the business English course?

What's our favorite phrase?

A me monster.

So don't be a monster.

You don't want to just talk about yourself, answer questions over and over.

You want to, yes, make it a conversation, make it a back and forth.

Yeah, it's true.

And now our listeners who come to Open Conversation Club

or Fluency Party also know the term me monster

because we talk about in our small groups in our breakout

rooms how important it is to bring the conversation back to someone else

and this would be a great tool for our students right

who come to open conversation yes we want to make sure

that you guys get the app go to allersenglish.com app it

is the best way to listen to the podcast it's also

the best way to find episodes in our archive it might

take you forever to scroll back wherever you know in your podcast player but

if you're looking for idioms specific vocabulary slang you can search

it on the app to find older episodes 100 any keyword

any particular word uh it should come up for the words

that are in the title of the episode

and it's mobile it's a mobile app so you don't have to go

and sit down at a laptop

and comb through a our website you can just go to the mobile app

and the mobile app is free to download right

if you want to become a premium member you get other cool benefits

but you can also just download it for free

and listen there okay and

if you want to check out those other benefits we have

a seven day free trial you can listen to the app

or the episodes with the transcripts you can follow along

and then save keywords and we also have these awesome role plays

which use important keywords from all of the episodes throughout the week those are amazing

only available on the app for premium users

so guys go over to allersenglish.com app okay

so we've got a question from a youtube listener we're getting

a lot of questions lately from youtube aubry i love

that yes and this one was written in chinese characters

so i put it in google translate

and google translate said the characters are um would be shuya okay um

and then it was r4z after so i hope you're out there listening i hope that's correct i was like oh oh, I wonder what Google Translate would give me for these characters.

I love that.

Yeah, we should try to do that more often

so we make sure that we try to say the names of our listeners.

I love it. So good.

All right.

So, Aubrey, do you want to read the question?

Sure.

So, oh, and then Sophia is the name.

That's similar to Shuya.

So I wonder if it's Shuya in Chinese.

Makes sense to me.

Yeah, I love that.

Maybe this listener will write to us and let us know.

I know.

I want to know.

Let us know for sure.

How correct is Google Translate?

I would like to know.

So it said, hi, Lindsay and Aubrey, I'm Sophia and All Ears English is my favorite podcast.

100

I love that.

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Thank you for writing in.

102

Love it.

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I have a quick question about the difference between what about you and how about you.

104

I understand both are used to ask about someone's opinion or situation, but is there a subtle difference in when to use each?

105

Thanks so much for your help.

106

Thank you for writing in Sophia.

107

This is a great question.

108

Yeah, it's a question that's really, again, based in connection.

109

So I'm really excited to answer this

110

so our listeners can start using it right away hey quick question do you want to feel more confident

111

when you speak english if

112

so we made a free guide for you it'll help you avoid those common mistakes

113

and start speaking more naturally in real conversations go grab it in the description below

114

and if this is helpful for you make sure that you like

115

and subscribe we're here five times a week to help you connect in english all right

116

so i did a little bit of a deep dive because

117

when i hear them i feel like there's no difference they're

118

very interchangeable they i would think they mean the same

119

but in some forums there were native speakers saying oh i feel like this would imply

120

and these really complicated um things like i think this would imply that you

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know what i'm going to do and it seems

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so confusing ignore all of that you guys it's not true for everyone all of everything

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that was written i'm like no i don't really agree i

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really feel like you can use them interchangeably without worrying about

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any kind of subtle nuance what do you think yeah i

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agree with you aubry i mean on this show we definitely go into nuances right we go into absolutely

127

but only when it could help you not

128

when it's going to just confuse you as a listener right

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so we believe for these two the difference doesn't matter i 100 absolutely absolutely i agree and

130

if there is someone that's like oh i feel like there

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is this tiny it might just be for like their region

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or how they grew up it's not going to be the case for everyone for me

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and the way i grew up using them

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and how i hear them used like in podcast tvs

135

or conversations they're interchangeable exactly and our whole philosophy of connection not perfection is

136

that we make sure we don't get hung up on mistakes

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or tiny details of the language where in connection suffers right connection is at the forefront for us

138

that is the most important thing

139

so we don't want you to be confused between the differences here

140

so for this particular episode these two are interchangeable okay absolutely

141

so we'll give you a little examples with both of them

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we're going to do a mini role play for each

143

because that's how it's used the most often someone asks you a question you answer

144

and then you use one of these to ask them the

145

same question back okay all right sounds good all right i'll

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start us with the first role play ready yes hey lindsay

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what did you do this weekend oh my gosh this weekend

148

i took a drive up to a town called netherland

149

and went to a tiny little community brewery where there was

150

a bake sale there was a rock sale it was one of those places, Aubrey, where you just see the whole community in one place.

151

What about you?

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What did you do?

153

Oh, I didn't do anything as fun as that.

154

I'm really jealous.

155

I took kids to lacrosse games and basically driving my kids around.

156

So let's trade.

157

I would rather do that next weekend.

158

Next weekend, we'll trade lives.

159

All right.

160

There you go.

161

Perfect.

162

All right.

163

Good stuff.

164

And then I want to point out you can also, especially if someone answers the question

165

and it's longer sometimes it will be more natural to say what about you

166

and then sort of repeat the question right yes you could

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say like what about you what did you do this weekend i will often do this um

168

and even if it's not long the way we started the episode right

169

when you asked what what i have going on today

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and i shared i might do the same thing what about you what are you doing today exactly

171

and i think intonation becomes important when we do repeat the question right so

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when i flip it back to you i would say you

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know what about you what did you do this weekend right

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what did you do this weekend yes we hit the you

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hardest right to share like i'm asking the same question

176

but i want to know about you exactly exactly uh love it

177

and then we're always conscious there of trying not to you

178

know dominate the conversation again there you want to avoid being

179

that me monster keep it short keep it sweet

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and throw it back to the other person

181

and get a sense of how interesting

182

or interested they are in what you've said

183

and maybe they'll ask you a follow-up question it's a real back

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and forth it's a game of badminton right yeah this is

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the skill to keep the conversation going how do we do

186

that we don't want it to just you know fade out

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or someone just kind of walk away right we want to keep it going keep it interesting

188

and we don't and to do

189

that we avoid monologues right we avoid monologues yes okay yes

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so same thing with how about you let's do a mini

191

role play here you want to start us lindsay hey did you make any new year's resolutions

192

yes i have resolved to not drink alcohol with food i read

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that it's not good because then your body is burning the alcohol instead of the food

194

and you're going to burn less calories so i'm working on

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that how about you i like

196

that oh i have i'm still thinking about my new year's

197

resolution can I decide by February yes right give me some time give me some time I love that

198

and I could again I could have said how about you

199

did you make any resolutions right that's very natural to repeat the question after saying either what about you

200

or how about you yes I love it

201

so two really good ways to throw it back to the other person what about you

202

and how about you is there a third Aubrey

203

that we could use yeah we're going to share a third here

204

which is what do you think this is a little different what about you

205

and how about you are so general

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and versatile for anything the other person said just like how does how would you answer this question so what

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that means sort of what do you is more specific to use after someone after you share an opinion

208

and you want to know their opinion you could be like what do you think i love it

209

so this could be even more useful potentially talking about like

210

just topical items in the news societal events current events

211

that kind of thing

212

so let's see what our role play looks like here you ready okay yeah all right

213

so what do you think about the changes the city made

214

to its recycling program oh i get why they did it i guess it was really cost prohibitive.

215

It's too bad though.

216

What do you think?

217

Yeah, I think it's true.

218

I think a lot of cities are shutting down recycling.

219

Isn't that true?

220

Have you seen that outbreak?

221

It's happened in Phoenix.

222

They won't recycle glass anymore.

223

I think the problem was people weren't cleaning it well enough and it was just costing them too much and sorting.

224

And so they've just said, we can't afford to do this, unfortunately.

225

Interesting.

226

Yeah.

227

Wow.

228

Anything we need to about this role play here well you

229

can add one of the above right how about you

230

or what about you before you say what do you think

231

so i could have said you know i get why they

232

did it it's too bad though um you know what about you what do you think

233

so we sort of double these up really often sure absolutely

234

so you have a little flexibility here

235

and you can use them in conjunction with each other as

236

well right totally yep okay oh there is actually a fourth and i love this one

237

very shorthand right very short but actually more formal as I thought of examples

238

and tried to put in the role play I realized I use this less

239

so it's just and you two words you would think that's more informal more casual

240

because it's shorter

241

but it's actually sort of a more formal construction to after

242

someone answers you know after you answer something to say

243

and you feels quite formal yeah let's see what this looks like then here we go

244

so what are you doing for the holiday oh I'm flying out east to visit family

245

and you yeah okay i love that so you can see how

246

if i said what about you how about you that's a little more casual a little more friendly

247

and you feels like maybe we don't know each other as

248

well maybe we're co-workers maybe you're my boss right yeah it's

249

a little more formal it feels a little yeah it does

250

it feels a little like there's a little bit more distance there yes um for some reason

251

or sometimes what i just say is you right i'm flying

252

out east to visit family you yeah yeah you ever say

253

that or it's just me i do i say

254

that i hear it absolutely um i'm trying to think if

255

that is more formal or not i feel like how about you

256

and what about you are the most casual even though they're more words

257

which is interesting yeah i'm not sure where the just the you stands

258

and on the spectrum of casual

259

and formal actually it feels a little more casual to me

260

but it could be used also with someone you don't know like a barista at the coffee shop

261

So that one's really flexible.

262

That could work anywhere, probably just you.

263

Yeah, for sure.

264

All right.

265

So in this role play, Aubrey, we are coworkers who see each other at the dog park.

266

All right.

267

So you're a dog owner.

268

Nice.

269

Yes.

270

So it's fictional because I don't really have a dog.

271

Yeah.

272

All right.

273

Here we go.

274

Hey there.

275

I didn't realize you live close to here.

276

I don't really, but it's the best dog park in town.

277

So much shade.

278

What about you?

279

Do you live close to here?

280

Yeah.

281

Just around the corner.

282

Oh, it's such a beautiful neighborhood.

283

Have you gotten to know your neighbors?

284

Oh yeah, a lot of really great people live close by.

285

I love chatting with everyone who's out walking their dogs.

286

How about you, good neighbors?

287

Yeah, for sure.

288

We've lived there about 10 years, so we've met most of them.

289

Hey, I've been meaning to ask what you think about that dress code change at work.

290

Oh, I hate it.

291

I miss being able to wear jeans and a t-shirt.

292

What do you think?

293

Same.

294

I'm dreading having to dress up.

295

Yeah, I love this.

296

And this is such a realistic conversation because this is what we do as human beings.

297

We need feedback from other people.

298

We can't just go off and say our opinion.

299

Most people want to have a sense.

300

Do people agree with me?

301

How am I landing?

302

How are my thoughts landing?

303

Right.

304

We don't want to have that situation where we come out really strong with an opinion.

305

The other person's like, oh, I disagree, actually.

306

And now we've created this awkward situation.

307

No, it's just how the human mind works.

308

Right.

309

And so this is this is incredibly useful for our listeners.

310

So first you said, Aubrey, I don't live close to here, but it's the best dog park in town.

311

So much shade.

312

And here again, you dropped the pronoun and the verb.

313

So instead of saying there is so much shade, you say so much shade.

314

So much shade.

315

What about you?

316

And this is where I added the question again.

317

I said, what about you?

318

Do you live close to here?

319

And I could just say, what about you? but this is very natural to repeat the question, often to make sure they know what question you're asking.

320

Because honestly, here I've said enough that they might think I'm asking, do you think this is the best dog park in town?

321

Right?

322

What about you?

323

I kind of need to clarify.

324

Yep.

325

You need to recenter the conversation and that's your responsibility as the one asking the question.

326

Make it clear.

327

Absolutely.

328

And then I said, you said, have you gotten to know your neighbors?

329

And I said, yeah, a lot of really great people live here.

330

I love chatting with everyone and then i said how about you

331

and i again repeated the question

332

because it could have been another question right do you love

333

chatting with everyone chatting with people who are with their dogs right

334

so then you said how about you good neighbors

335

and this will often shorten it too you don't need to repeat do you have good neighbors

336

if you say how about you good neighbors we know what you mean yeah

337

and that's incredibly native and natural the way we ask

338

that how about you good neighbors right it also sounds kind

339

of positive kind of uplifting it's a good exchange here yeah

340

right we're assuming we're assuming they're good neighbors you're hedging in

341

that direction yeah yeah okay then what did i say aubrey

342

uh then you were saying oh i hate this new dress code policy i miss being able to wear jeans

343

and a t-shirt what do you think

344

and this is like you said there's an opportunity here to be honest

345

if i'm like you know actually i'm excited about it but

346

i think when i ask the question there's probably a little bit of an implication

347

that i don't love it otherwise why would i ask about it right oh for sure for sure

348

so and then you replied by saying same i'm dreading having to dress up

349

so we're kind of just commiserating a little bit here empathizing

350

with how we feel about this new dress code this change

351

at work yeah it's interesting to think about how the conversation

352

would change depending on your answer right i asked you about the dress code

353

if you're like i'm actually really excited to dress up i probably would just be like yeah it'll be different

354

and change the subject

355

if i'm not confrontational i'm probably not going to say oh

356

well i hate it yeah most people are going to agree in some ways

357

and find a way to agree like yeah it'll be different right with

358

that uplifting tone of voice and then just pivot to something else

359

and we have done other episodes on allers english about how

360

to pivot the conversation right We did one about how to pivot away from politics, and this could be another thing to pivot away from, which maybe we should visit in a new episode someday.

361

Yeah, that would be great because this is such an important skill.

362

You don't want to increase or emphasize the awkwardness if you disagree.

363

Pivot away.

364

Find something else that you do have in common.

365

I love it.

366

Now, there's another episode we want to recommend that you guys go to right away as soon as you finish.

367

This is 1061.

368

continue the English conversation with today's phrases.

369

You'll want to go over to the app to type

370

that in and find that one because that's pretty far back, Aubrey, right?

371

Yes.

372

Just type in the number 1061 in the app to find it.

373

We have had a lot of students ask us like, how do I continue the conversation?

374

We have a little bit of a back and forth.

375

And then there's this moment where like, what more can I say?

376

So check out that episode.

377

We gave you a lot of great phrases depending for a

378

lot of different situations of how you can keep the conversation going yes i love

379

that what's our takeaway for today again don't be a me

380

monster right today's phrases are all vital to throw it back

381

to the other person you want to know their answer as well to the question

382

that they asked you oh for sure

383

and i want to see our listeners who are students in our courses

384

if you're in our courses nowadays you get invited to our

385

open conversation club i want to see our students using these

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phrases from today's episode live in conversation with each other

387

and in conversation with us aubrey absolutely that's my favorite we go to open conversation club

388

and i hear them use the vocabulary the idioms the phrases

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strategies from the podcast the best place to practice it it's amazing it's amazing

390

so we're excited to meet you

391

and you know this month you'll we'll have a lot of new students coming into our courses

392

so we're looking forward to meeting you in open conversation club

393

all right good stuff awesome i will see you there lindsay Yes.

394

Sounds good.

395

I'll talk to you soon, Aubrey.

396

Have a good one.

397

You too.

398

Bye.

399

Michelle, it seems so simple, right?

400

Just share something about yourself and then ask, what about you or what do you think?

401

But a surprising amount of people don't do that.

402

Yes, exactly.

403

It is surprising.

404

And so with today's tips and phrases, you guys are now really ready to keep a conversation going to build that connection in English.

405

Exactly.

406

But you know, what happens if a conversation has run its course

407

or enters controversial territory and you can tell the other person is uncomfortable or wants to talk about something else?

408

Guys, hit follow for part three of this series.

409

We are going to share strategies and phrases to pivot to a new topic when it's necessary.

410

Oh, that's going to be good.

411

All right, guys we'll see you there

412

and thanks for chatting with me today aubrey yes awesome see you next time all right bye

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이 레슨에 대해

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