쉐도잉 연습: Not Everyone Deserves Access to You - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기

Hi guys, welcome to or welcome back to another video.

Today we have a pep talk.

I know that you guys really like my pep talks, so I wanted to get comfy and sit here

and just chat about something that I've been wanting to dive into for a little bit.

I wanna talk about the fact that not everybody deserves access to you.

Everybody's welcome here on this channel, okay?

I don't care who you are, I don't care if you're a guy, a girl, a gay, they, whatever, I don't care who you are, but I am a girl, so I'm gonna be kind of,

you know talking to the girls about dating and men

and all that stuff

but anyone is welcome here okay my whole life i've been the type of person

that has always longed to have

so many friends i have always wanted big friend groups i have struggled

so much with friendships with female friendships

and i think i've just reached a point where i've realized

that having a small circle is just the way to go

about it i love sabrina carpenter i love her music

and it's so cute

that she flies out her friend Paloma who's just like you know got a regular job

and this is like her best friend and she flies her on tour with her and everything.

I feel like she would be friends with a lot of people

that she works with and her dancers and people on her team

and stuff but like ultimately she's worked so hard on her career.

I'm not trying to be parasocial and say I know everything about her life

but I'm assuming from what it looks like on the outside I feel like she's just

so focused and so locked in and just friends with like people

that she works with and then she's got like her staples

and her sisters and stuff i feel like it's like this for a lot of actresses

and singers i mean at least that's kind of the world

that i'm in and that's kind of who i look up to

and i've realized i can achieve everything i want without having

a million friends i don't actually need to have a million friends everybody's different

and what i say that works for me might not work for you

but i have realized that stepping back

and taking this pressure away from myself like

that pressure of oh my god you need to have a girl group

and you need to have this and that and like all these friends

and blah blah no it's like babe literally just be more grateful what the hell i have good friends

and maybe they don't all live in the same city

but i have good friends and more importantly i'm locked in i'm working towards things

that i want to do lately i've been trying to romanticize my life a lot

and so i've been trying to tap into different things that I want to do.

I really want to get into acting classes potentially

just because I really love that world of like musicians

and actors and like I just I love that stuff and I really really want to tap into that.

I also feel like it would be a good use of my time like

if anything it might just make me feel more confident in general and whatever so I want to try acting classes.

I'm also doing singing lessons.

I want to get into ice skating lessons like I'm just

trying to like really have hobbies outside of what I do I can just be at home working constantly

and like never leave the house and and not make friends

and I have struggled I'm not going to lie with making friends

and recently I went through a bit of a friendship breakup

and this person threw that in my face

and was like you know no wonder you don't have many friends

and that made me feel really sad and then I thought about it

and I was like no I choose to be picky with who is in my life

because the thing is you are who you hang around so

if i wanted so many friends then i could have

so many friends i'm just picky okay and this friend

that i'm telling you guys about where we had

that friendship breakup she's actually not really doing much with her life

but like she has a lot of people around her

and she's always like going out and doing stuff

but like for me i don't have as many friends my friends are kind of like scattered around the world

and like when i'm back home i don't really have

that many people to hang out with

and i'm also just very picky maybe this is just me

but i've always wanted friends

that feel really special like wow you you are one of a kind i've always been

that kind of girl okay if you're not valuable i don't want it maybe

that sounds awful but it's like when i'm at the beach okay

if i want to like collect some shells to take home

as souvenirs i'm not just going to go for the first one i'm going to like go through

and find like better ones and i just i collect my friends

and i make sure that there are people that add so much value into my life, otherwise I don't want them.

And so all these people that you see on your Instagram feed, right, that have a million friends and are going out all the time, I guarantee if you sat them down and asked them like,

so what's happening, like how's life, you know, how's your job whatever like they're probably lacking in one of those departments

because if you are so social and constantly like social

and going out

and whatever then something else would be lacking you can't be killing it in all departments

and also just like the title of this video not everybody deserves access to you

and just because you don't have a million friends doesn't mean

that you are not valuable in fact you are more valuable

a lot of people will only want to be around

when you have something to offer them when life is good okay

when life is shit and you're broke and you're depressed

and you've lost a loved one think about

that okay i know it's like such a depressing thought but

if you lost a loved one okay and then

that sent you into like a spiral

and you were just like in a really bad way who

in your life would be there for you who would pick up the phone who would sit with you

and let you cry to them who would be there for you who would care

so much like that okay anybody else cut them out

and i'm not saying cut them out as in like oh

my god never talk to them again no just like you don't have to be pouring

that much energy into those people people are weird

and people have weird intentions and like i'm sorry

but i don't believe that you can have like 50 friends

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that you know plans every single day with a new person and know exactly like their heart and their intentions.

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It takes time to really know somebody.

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And with all of my best friends, I've known them for years.

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And those friendships really built over time.

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And, you know, I gained trust for them and everything.

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And that's kind of all you need.

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Like if you have one amazing friend or one sibling that you love and hang out with, just one person that listens to you and cares about you, then you're killing it.

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Everything else you need is just within you.

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Like you really can make your dream life happen, honestly.

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there's only so much energy that you have to give why don't you save some of

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that for yourself i want to talk about a few things

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that i've changed about my mentality

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that i feel like puts me on a different level one thing

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that i love is the saying not wanting something is as

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good as having it example i used to want a million friends

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and like friend groups and people that could just like come over

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and hang out and blah blah blah like that's just i'm a social person

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I'm willing to wait for that and

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because not wanting something is as good as having it sometimes I've really thought about it

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and I came to this conclusion that

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if I was doing like acting classes singing lessons ice skating like just filling my time with different hobbies

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and saving up you know working hard saving for travel just really locked in

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and focused on my goals I feel like

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that feeling would almost be better than the feeling of having

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a million friends it's just about figuring out okay where am i lacking in my life

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and how can i pour into myself so that i'm not feeling

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that way about that one thing

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if you feel like oh i don't have many friends what

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can you do to improve your life in other ways instead of sitting around

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and just waiting for friends trust me honey the friends will come

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and go especially when you're working on yourself especially

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if you go out

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and you do hobbies like that's just that's how you meet people it's the exact same thing with girls

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that that want a relationship

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so bad this might be a hot take i'm not saying

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this makes you like a loser okay i'm not judging

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but like i feel like if you're young

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and in your 20s why are you on a dating app i know it's fun to like go on dates

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and stuff but

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if you really think about it most of the guys on

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dating apps are kind of like like i just feel like

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high value people meet each other in person you can fill

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your time by yourself i'm sure you have a lot of different things

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that you want to get into i'm sure there are a

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lot of places you want to travel i'm sure you want

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to make more friends like whatever you know that's not your

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dream love story you met them on a dating app i

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know it might sound harsh i actually personally genuinely do not judge

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that i don't think it's a problem

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if you want to be on a dating app you want

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to have fun you want to go on a date every once in a

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while just to boost your confidence but

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if you are coming at it from like a desperate place

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and it's less about i just want to feel good

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and go on a date once in a while

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and it's more about I really need a boyfriend because I want to feel loved that needs to stop.

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I genuinely believe that the feeling of loving someone or loving something is so much better than being loved.

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That feeling of when you admire something and love something so much, that is a special feeling and that doesn't have to be a relationship.

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You can love anything else.

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You can fill your time with other things i just don't

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want you to be sitting there desperate for a relationship

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or for something to work what are you gonna do like

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force it to work you can't that's embarrassing it's desperate you

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don't want to be desperate i want to talk a little bit about dating

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if you are dating somebody these are my rules okay it's

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kind of all tied into the topic of like don't give people

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so much access to you these are my rules no building a man projects i don't care

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if you're dating a girl apply the same advice works for everyone

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but i'm just going to talk about men

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because i unfortunately date men just kidding there are some good ones out there no bread crumbing allowed consistency

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or nothing period i don't even you know what i can

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just end the pep talk here bye just kidding i'm not going to when i say no bread crumbing

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can we just take a deep breath and you know what it doesn't matter

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if you are in a relationship maybe you need to hear this for whatever reason

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or even if you don't need to hear it maybe it's advice

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that you can give to your friends okay so stick around no breadcrumming

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if someone really likes you they'll show up for you they're

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not going to be like oh you know i'm just not really like looking for a relationship

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but like you and i like we've got a good thing going

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if we keep hanging out and like you keep coming over we keep sleeping together

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and blah blah then you know you never know like a

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man could change shut the hell up ew you don't want

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that no bread crumbing no ignoring red flags somebody said something to me

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and you know what's funny i don't think that they realize

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that i think about this to this day

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but i genuinely think about this to this day which is

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so funny um because they just said it to me randomly so this person i know was like to me

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I really believe when people tell me who they are.

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She's like, you know, if somebody says to you, oh, you know, I'm quite a competitive person.

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She said that she remembers that because it's like somebody is literally telling you who they are and believe that, you know?

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Everybody has flaws.

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But when it comes to picking someone to date, like a partner, I feel like you really need to take the red flag serious, okay?

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They will show you exactly who they are.

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If a guy says to you, oh, you know, in the past, like I've just had like a lot of trouble, being loyal blah blah and then they're following a million girls on instagram

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and just giving you all the signs

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that they clearly are not looking to like lock in

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and really give you the attention that you want believe that

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but then this is the problem is sometimes girls will be like oh

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but those are all the signs

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but they're saying this words mean nothing babe words mean absolutely nothing you will show me exactly who you are

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and i will figure it out within the first few days or weeks of knowing you.

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I don't need to sit around and waste time.

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If you sit with me and tell me, oh, I really like you and I really see this going somewhere, then you better have the actions to match those words

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because I'm not going to believe you just based on the words

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that you tell me because words are not good enough, babe.

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I have so much to do in this life

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and I'm not going to sit around here waiting for you to fulfill your promises, period.

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I'm not doing it.

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Next, no last minute plans.

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I'm not even going to dive into this.

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It's so straightforward.

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No last minute plans.

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If he's not planning, he's not prioritizing.

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It's just bummy for you to be seeing somebody that only wants you to come over at night.

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You get what I'm saying?

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Like they really need to plan it and consider you and wanna hang out with you, especially hanging out during the day.

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If I'm seeing someone, they need to be so obsessed with me that they literally wanna like go for walks with me.

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They wanna like meet me for coffee and then pay for the coffee.

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And I'm not saying they have to pay for everything.

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I'm not materialistic like that.

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I have my own.

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I can pay for things myself too, but I just want them to be like really really wow

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obsessed with me okay that's just my type everybody has a type don't judge me for my type

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if your type is chasing after a guy

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and only going over at 10 p.m

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because he calls you late at night to see you that's your type that's not my type I know

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that nobody wants that nobody wants that because it's not cute

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when you're talking to somebody no last minute plans not in the beginning stages

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when you're talking to them you want them to plan it

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you want them to want to hang out with you it has to be like a mutual push

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and pull you know what i mean not like you just

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please please give me your attention that's just ew ew ew it's sending out the energy

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that you are lacking okay no honey we need to be

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in our feminine energy you need to let somebody chase you let them feel

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that sense of urgency of like if i don't put in everything to try

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and win this girl over somebody else will because this girl is

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so fine on her own she's

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so independent she does not need me i am lucky to be talking to her

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because they are lucky honey i'll tell you

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that this is for friends boyfriends whoever they are lucky i don't care

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if i had this friendship breakup with this friend

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right that was like to me oh you don't have many friends i know

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that when they go to sleep at night they know

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that i really value myself i really respect myself

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and anybody in my life is a high value person anything

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that i'm doing is high value you're not going to see

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me out here begging for friendships begging for relationships i know she knows

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that she can say whatever she wants about me

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but one thing she could never say about me

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and believe it is you know luma's just like she's bending

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over backwards for people blah blah it's not me babe it's

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not my character people are always going to talk about you

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but one thing

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that you don't want them to say about you is like

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she just like does too much for the person she's dating

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you ever heard of a girl that's like oh yeah like her man cheated on her

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and she still stayed you don't want to be

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that person you want to have respect for yourself you want to value yourself without these things you have nothing

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so let's start with those things first respect valuing yourself boundaries having good boundaries

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when you have good boundaries you don't lose yourself i have lost myself a few times in relationships

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and friendships in certain work things like i've just really lost

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sight of like what i actually want i feel like being in your 20s at any age really

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but like especially being in your 20s is just so turbulent

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and exhausting and I find that sometimes

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when I'm around certain people I can really lose myself I lose sight of my goals

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and my dreams and what I want

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and I just I can't afford to do that and

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so you have to have good boundaries and you have to understand

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that like somebody who really loves and cares about you will always understand

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that you have your own life

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and things to fulfill it's not just about them you are

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the star of your own movie you are not a side character in your own movie

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and i know it's very simple cliche advice

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but i feel like sometimes even i need to remember this i have to respect myself

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and i have to have good boundaries

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if somebody does something to cross a boundary you need to pick it up

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and leave i don't care how sad you are i don't care you will figure it out you know why

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because we always do look at us we're all still here

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if i sat all of you down right now

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and you were all in front of me

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and i said you you you tell me about the hardest thing you ever had to go through

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and you tell me a story at the end of it i'd say

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but did you get through it though yes you did you always do we always do

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so i need you to understand

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that it's very important to have respect for yourself now

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if i got cheated on tomorrow and i had to leave my relationship

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and i had to pack all my things and start again

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and move out of course i would be heartbroken of course

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i would be devastated are you kidding me i'm allowed to feel sad i'm a human being

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and honestly sometimes i'm quite sensitive i'm a libra

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and as as cutthroat as I am I can be very sensitive

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but one thing that I have is I have respect for myself and I have good boundaries.

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I think everybody that has ever been in my life regardless of if we are still friends or not knows this.

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I would never give someone access to me if they don't deserve it so why are you doing that?

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I would rather walk away from a person or a friend

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that treats me like shit and go find a better friend because I truly believe that they're out there.

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I truly believe in this world of 8 billion people and

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so many different careers and cities to live in

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and things to do I can find the life

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that makes me happy why am I going to stay

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and put up with friends or a life

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that makes me feel like shit you know what I mean

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so yeah that's today's video I hope you guys liked

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that little pep talk um I love you guys so much

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and I will see you in my next video

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if you watch this video make sure

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that you tag me in your Instagram stories I love seeing the TikTok edits that you guys make of me.

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I love seeing the stories that you guys tag me and I see all of it.

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And I try and reply to every single one.

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And make sure you leave a comment on this video because I actually read all of the comments.

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As soon as I post a video, I spend like the next few days literally reading all the comments.

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So I love you guys lots and I will see you in the next video.

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법

쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.

쉐도잉 연습: Not Everyone Deserves Access to You - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기

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