쉐도잉 연습: The gift and power of emotional courage | Susan David - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기
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Reza Zaini Reviewer Hello, everyone.
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Reza Zaini Reviewer Hello, everyone.
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Sawobona.
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In South Africa, where I come from, sawobona is the Zulu word for hello.
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There's a beautiful and powerful intention behind the word, the salwana literally translated means, I see you, and by seeing you,
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I bring you into being. So beautiful.
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Imagine being greeted like that.
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But what does it take in the way we see ourselves, our thoughts, our emotions and our stories, that help us to thrive in an increasingly complex and fraught world?
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This crucial question has been at the center of my life's work, because how we deal with our inner world drives everything every aspect of how we love,
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how we live, how we parent and how we lead.
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The conventional view of emotions as good or bad, positive or negative, is rigid,
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and rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic.
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We need greater levels of emotional agility for true resilience and thriving.
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My journey with this calling began not in the hallowed halls of a university, but in the messy, tender business of life.
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I grew up in the white suburbs of apartheid South Africa, a country and community committed to not seeing, to denial.
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It's denial that makes 50 years of racist legislation possible, while people convince themselves that they are doing nothing wrong.
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And yet, I first learned of the destructive power of denial at a personal level, before I understood what it was doing to the country of my birth.
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My father died on a Friday.
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He was 42 years old and I was 15.
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My mother whispered to me to go and say goodbye to my father before I went to school.
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So I put my backpack down and walked the passage that ran through to where the heart of our home, my father, lay dying of cancer.
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His eyes were closed, but he knew I was there.
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In his presence, I had always felt seen.
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I told him I loved him, said goodbye and headed off for my day.
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At school, I drifted from science to mathematics to history to biology, as my father slipped from the world.
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From May to July to September to November, I went about with my usual smile.
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I didn't drop a single grade.
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When asked how I was doing, I would shrug and say, OK.
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I was praised for being strong.
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I was the master of being OK.
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But back home, we struggled.
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My father hadn't been able to keep his small business going during his illness, and my mother alone was grieving the love of her life, trying to raise three children,
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and the creditors were knocking.
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We felt as a family financially and emotionally ravaged, and I began to spiral down, isolated, fast.
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I started to use food to numb my pain, binging and purging, refusing to accept the full weight of my grief.
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No one knew, and in a culture that values relentless positivity, I thought that no one wanted to know.
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But one person did not buy into my story of triumph over grief.
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My eighth-grade English teacher fixed me with burning blue eyes as she handed out blank notebooks.
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She said, write what you're feeling.
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Tell the truth.
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Write like nobody's reading.
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And just like that, I was invited to show up authentically to my grief and pain.
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It was a simple act, but nothing short of a revolution for me.
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It was this revolution that started in this blank notebook 30 years ago that shaped my life's work,
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the secret silent correspondence with myself.
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Like a gymnast, I started to move beyond the rigidity of denial into what I've now come to call emotional agility.
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Life's beauty is inseparable from its fragility.
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We are young until we are not.
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We walk down the streets sexy until one day we realize that we are unseen.
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We nag our children and one day realize that there is silence where that child once was, now making his or her way in the world.
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We are healthy until a diagnosis brings us to our knees.
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The only certainty is uncertainty, and yet we are not navigating this frailty successfully or sustainably.
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The World Health Organization tells us that depression is now the single leading cause of disability globally,
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outstripping cancer, outstripping heart disease.
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And at a time of greater complexity, unprecedented technological, political and economic change,
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we are seeing how people's tendency is more and more to lock down into rigid responses to their emotions.
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On the one hand, we might obsessively brood on our feelings, getting stuck inside our heads,
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hooked on being right or victimized by our newsfeed.
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On the other, we might bottle our emotions, pushing them aside and permitting only those emotions deemed legitimate.
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In a survey I recently conducted with over 70,000 people, I found that a third of us,
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a third, either judge ourselves for having so-called bad emotions,
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like sadness, anger or even grief,
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or actively try to push aside these feelings.
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We do this not only to ourselves, but also to people we love, like our children.
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We may inadvertently be able to do this we may inadvertently shame them out of emotions seen as negative,
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jump to solution and fail to help them to see these emotions as inherently valuable.
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Normal, natural emotions are now seen as good or bad.
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And being positive has become a new form of moral correctness.
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People with cancer are automatically told to just stay positive.
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Woman to stop being so angry.
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And the list goes on.
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It's a tyranny.
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It's a tyranny of positivity.
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And it's cruel, unkind and ineffective and ineffective.
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And we do it to ourselves, and we do it to others.
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If there's one common feature of brooding, bottling or forced positivity, it's this.
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They are all rigid responses.
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And if there's a single lesson we can learn from the inevitable fall of apartheid, it is that rigid denial doesn't work.
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It's unsustainable for individuals, for families, for societies.
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And as we watch the ice caps melt, it is unsustainable for our planet.
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Research on emotional suppression shows that when emotions are pushed aside or ignored, they get stronger.
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Psychologists call this amplification, like that delicious chocolate cake in the refrigerator.
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the more you try to ignore it ...
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the greater its hold on you.
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You might think you're in control of unwanted emotions when you ignore them, but in fact, they control you.
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Internal pain always comes out.
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Always.
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And who pays the price?
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We do.
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Our children, our colleagues, our communities.
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Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-happiness.
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I like being happy.
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I'm a pretty happy person.
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But when we push aside normal emotions to embrace false positivity,
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We lose our capacity to develop skills to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be.
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I've had hundreds of people tell me what they don't want to feel.
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They say things like, I don't want to try because I don't want to feel disappointed, or I just want this feeling to go away.
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I understand, I say to them, But you have dead people's goals.
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Only dead people never get unwanted or inconvenienced by their feelings.
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Only dead people never get stressed, never get broken hearts, never experience the disappointment that comes with failure.
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Tough emotions are part of our contract with life.
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You don't get to have a meaningful career or raise a family or leave the world a better place
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without stress and discomfort.
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Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.
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I'm not a person.
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So how do we begin to dismantle rigidity and embrace emotional agility?
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As that young schoolgirl, when I leaned into those blank pages,
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I started to do away with feelings of what I should be experiencing,
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and instead started to open my heart to what I did feel, pain and grief and loss and regret.
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Research now shows that the radical acceptance of all of our emotions, even the messy, difficult ones, is the cornerstone to resilience,
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thriving and true, authentic happiness.
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But emotional agility is more than just an acceptance of emotions we also know that accuracy matters.
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In my own research, I found that words are essential.
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We often use quick and easy labels to describe our feelings.
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I'm stressed is the most common one I hear.
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But there's a world of difference between stress and disappointment, or stress and that knowing dread of, I'm in the wrong career.
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When we label our emotions accurately, we are more able to discern the precise cause of our feelings.
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And what scientists call the readiness potential in our brain is activated, allowing us to take concrete steps.
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But not just any steps, the right steps for us.
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Because our emotions are data.
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Our emotions contain flashing lights to things that we care about.
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We tend not to feel strong emotion to stuff that doesn't mean anything in our worlds.
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If you feel rage when you read the news, That rage is a signpost perhaps that you value equity and fairness,
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and an opportunity to take active steps to shape your life in that direction.
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When we are open to the difficult emotions, we are able to generate responses that are values-aligned.
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But there's an important caveat.
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Emotions are data, they are not directives.
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We can show up to and mine our emotions for their values without needing to listen to them.
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Just like I can show up to my son in his frustration with his baby sister,
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but not endorse his idea that he gets to give her away to the first stranger he sees in a shopping mall.
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We own our emotions.
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They don't own us.
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When we internalize the difference between how I feel in all my wisdom and what I do in a values-aligned action,
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we generate the pathway to our best selves via our emotions.
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So what does this look like in practice?
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When you feel a strong, tough emotion, don't race for the emotional exits.
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Learn its contours.
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Show up to the journal of your hearts.
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What is the emotion telling you?
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And try not to say, I am, as in I am angry or I am sad.
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When you say I am, it makes you sound as if you are the emotion, whereas you are you and the emotion is a data source.
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Instead, try to notice the feeling for what it is.
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I'm noticing that I'm feeling sad, or I'm noticing that I'm feeling angry.
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These are essential skills for us, our families, our communities.
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They are also critical to the workplace.
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In my research, when I looked at what helps people to bring the best of themselves to work, I found a powerful key contributor, individualized consideration.
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When people are allowed to feel their emotional truth, engagement, creativity and innovation flourish in the organization.
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Diversity isn't just people, it's also what's inside people, including diversity of emotion.
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The most agile, resilient individuals, teams, organizations, families, communities are built on an openness to the normal human emotions.
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It's this that allows us to say, what is my emotion telling me?
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Which action will bring me towards my values?
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Which will take me away from my values?
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Emotional agility is the ability to be with your emotions,
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with curiosity, compassion and especially the courage to take values-connected steps.
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When I was little, I would wake up at night terrified by the idea of death.
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My father would comfort me with soft pats and kisses, but he would never lie.
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We all die, Susie, he would say.
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It's normal to be scared.
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He didn't try to invent a buffer between me and reality.
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It took me a while to understand the power of how he guided me through those nights.
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What he showed me is that courage is not an absence of fear.
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Courage is fear walking.
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Neither of us knew that in 10 short years he would be gone, and the time for each of us is all too precious and all too brief.
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But when our moment comes to face our fragility in that ultimate time,
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it will ask us, are you agile?
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Are you agile?
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Let the moment be an unreserved yes, a yes born of a lifelong correspondence with your own heart,
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and in seeing yourself, because in seeing yourself, you are also able to see others, too.
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The only sustainable way forward in a fragile, beautiful world.
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Sobobona, and thank you.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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왜 이 비디오로 말하기 연습을 해야 할까요?
이 비디오는 감정적인 용기에 대한 강력한 메시지를 전달합니다. 감정은 자신의 내면을 이해하고 타인과의 연결을 깊게 하는 중요한 요소입니다. 영어 쉐도잉을 통해 이 비디오에서 전하는 강력한 감정을 표현하는 방법을 배울 수 있습니다. 실제 대화 상황에서 사용할 수 있는 실용적인 표현을 습득하게 되면, IELTS 스피킹에서도 더 높은 점수를 받을 수 있는 기회를 가질 수 있습니다. 이는 단순한 언어 실력을 넘어서, 감정을 전달하는 능력을 기르는 데 도움을 줄 것입니다.
문맥 속 문법 및 표현
- "I see you": 이 표현은 상대방을 진정으로 이해하고 받아들이겠다는 의미로, 감정적 연결을 위해 매우 중요합니다. 감정적으로 깊이 있는 말하기를 연습할 수 있습니다.
- "I was the master of being OK": 이 구조는 자기 자신을 과소평가하지 않고, 겉으로는 긍정적이지만 내면의 고통을 감추는 상황을 설명합니다. 이러한 복잡한 감정을 표현하는 연습이 필요합니다.
- "Write what you're feeling": 이 말은 자신의 감정을 솔직하게 표현하는 것이 얼마나 중요한지를 보여줍니다. 문장을 직접 만들어보며 감정을 표현하는 연습이 가능합니다.
일반적인 발음 트랩
비디오에서 자주 사용되는 단어 중 "courage"는 발음하기 어려운 단어입니다. '코레지'가 아닌 '커리지'로 발음되며, 정확한 발음을 연습하는 것이 중요합니다. 또 하나의 예는 "emotional agility"로, 여기서 '이모셔널'의 발음에 주의를 기울여야 합니다. 이러한 발음은 영어 발음 교정을 통해 더욱 개선될 수 있습니다. 또한, 짧은 구문에서 강세를 잘 주는 연습으로 자연스러운 말하기가 가능합니다. 매일 shadowspeaks와 같은 방법으로 반복 연습해 보세요.
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쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.
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