Практика Shadowing: The gift and power of emotional courage | Susan David - Изучайте разговорный английский с YouTube
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Reza Zaini Reviewer Hello, everyone.
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Reza Zaini Reviewer Hello, everyone.
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Sawobona.
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In South Africa, where I come from, sawobona is the Zulu word for hello.
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There's a beautiful and powerful intention behind the word, the salwana literally translated means, I see you, and by seeing you,
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I bring you into being. So beautiful.
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Imagine being greeted like that.
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But what does it take in the way we see ourselves, our thoughts, our emotions and our stories, that help us to thrive in an increasingly complex and fraught world?
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This crucial question has been at the center of my life's work, because how we deal with our inner world drives everything every aspect of how we love,
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how we live, how we parent and how we lead.
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The conventional view of emotions as good or bad, positive or negative, is rigid,
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and rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic.
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We need greater levels of emotional agility for true resilience and thriving.
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My journey with this calling began not in the hallowed halls of a university, but in the messy, tender business of life.
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I grew up in the white suburbs of apartheid South Africa, a country and community committed to not seeing, to denial.
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It's denial that makes 50 years of racist legislation possible, while people convince themselves that they are doing nothing wrong.
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And yet, I first learned of the destructive power of denial at a personal level, before I understood what it was doing to the country of my birth.
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My father died on a Friday.
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He was 42 years old and I was 15.
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My mother whispered to me to go and say goodbye to my father before I went to school.
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So I put my backpack down and walked the passage that ran through to where the heart of our home, my father, lay dying of cancer.
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His eyes were closed, but he knew I was there.
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In his presence, I had always felt seen.
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I told him I loved him, said goodbye and headed off for my day.
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At school, I drifted from science to mathematics to history to biology, as my father slipped from the world.
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From May to July to September to November, I went about with my usual smile.
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I didn't drop a single grade.
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When asked how I was doing, I would shrug and say, OK.
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I was praised for being strong.
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I was the master of being OK.
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But back home, we struggled.
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My father hadn't been able to keep his small business going during his illness, and my mother alone was grieving the love of her life, trying to raise three children,
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and the creditors were knocking.
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We felt as a family financially and emotionally ravaged, and I began to spiral down, isolated, fast.
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I started to use food to numb my pain, binging and purging, refusing to accept the full weight of my grief.
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No one knew, and in a culture that values relentless positivity, I thought that no one wanted to know.
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But one person did not buy into my story of triumph over grief.
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My eighth-grade English teacher fixed me with burning blue eyes as she handed out blank notebooks.
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She said, write what you're feeling.
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Tell the truth.
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Write like nobody's reading.
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And just like that, I was invited to show up authentically to my grief and pain.
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It was a simple act, but nothing short of a revolution for me.
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It was this revolution that started in this blank notebook 30 years ago that shaped my life's work,
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the secret silent correspondence with myself.
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Like a gymnast, I started to move beyond the rigidity of denial into what I've now come to call emotional agility.
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Life's beauty is inseparable from its fragility.
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We are young until we are not.
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We walk down the streets sexy until one day we realize that we are unseen.
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We nag our children and one day realize that there is silence where that child once was, now making his or her way in the world.
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We are healthy until a diagnosis brings us to our knees.
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The only certainty is uncertainty, and yet we are not navigating this frailty successfully or sustainably.
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The World Health Organization tells us that depression is now the single leading cause of disability globally,
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outstripping cancer, outstripping heart disease.
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And at a time of greater complexity, unprecedented technological, political and economic change,
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we are seeing how people's tendency is more and more to lock down into rigid responses to their emotions.
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On the one hand, we might obsessively brood on our feelings, getting stuck inside our heads,
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hooked on being right or victimized by our newsfeed.
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On the other, we might bottle our emotions, pushing them aside and permitting only those emotions deemed legitimate.
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In a survey I recently conducted with over 70,000 people, I found that a third of us,
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a third, either judge ourselves for having so-called bad emotions,
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like sadness, anger or even grief,
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or actively try to push aside these feelings.
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We do this not only to ourselves, but also to people we love, like our children.
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We may inadvertently be able to do this we may inadvertently shame them out of emotions seen as negative,
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jump to solution and fail to help them to see these emotions as inherently valuable.
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Normal, natural emotions are now seen as good or bad.
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And being positive has become a new form of moral correctness.
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People with cancer are automatically told to just stay positive.
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Woman to stop being so angry.
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And the list goes on.
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It's a tyranny.
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It's a tyranny of positivity.
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And it's cruel, unkind and ineffective and ineffective.
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And we do it to ourselves, and we do it to others.
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If there's one common feature of brooding, bottling or forced positivity, it's this.
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They are all rigid responses.
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And if there's a single lesson we can learn from the inevitable fall of apartheid, it is that rigid denial doesn't work.
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It's unsustainable for individuals, for families, for societies.
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And as we watch the ice caps melt, it is unsustainable for our planet.
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Research on emotional suppression shows that when emotions are pushed aside or ignored, they get stronger.
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Psychologists call this amplification, like that delicious chocolate cake in the refrigerator.
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the more you try to ignore it ...
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the greater its hold on you.
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You might think you're in control of unwanted emotions when you ignore them, but in fact, they control you.
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Internal pain always comes out.
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Always.
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And who pays the price?
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We do.
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Our children, our colleagues, our communities.
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Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-happiness.
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I like being happy.
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I'm a pretty happy person.
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But when we push aside normal emotions to embrace false positivity,
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We lose our capacity to develop skills to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be.
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I've had hundreds of people tell me what they don't want to feel.
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They say things like, I don't want to try because I don't want to feel disappointed, or I just want this feeling to go away.
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I understand, I say to them, But you have dead people's goals.
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Only dead people never get unwanted or inconvenienced by their feelings.
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Only dead people never get stressed, never get broken hearts, never experience the disappointment that comes with failure.
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Tough emotions are part of our contract with life.
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You don't get to have a meaningful career or raise a family or leave the world a better place
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without stress and discomfort.
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Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.
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I'm not a person.
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So how do we begin to dismantle rigidity and embrace emotional agility?
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As that young schoolgirl, when I leaned into those blank pages,
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I started to do away with feelings of what I should be experiencing,
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and instead started to open my heart to what I did feel, pain and grief and loss and regret.
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Research now shows that the radical acceptance of all of our emotions, even the messy, difficult ones, is the cornerstone to resilience,
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thriving and true, authentic happiness.
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But emotional agility is more than just an acceptance of emotions we also know that accuracy matters.
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In my own research, I found that words are essential.
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We often use quick and easy labels to describe our feelings.
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I'm stressed is the most common one I hear.
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But there's a world of difference between stress and disappointment, or stress and that knowing dread of, I'm in the wrong career.
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When we label our emotions accurately, we are more able to discern the precise cause of our feelings.
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And what scientists call the readiness potential in our brain is activated, allowing us to take concrete steps.
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But not just any steps, the right steps for us.
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Because our emotions are data.
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Our emotions contain flashing lights to things that we care about.
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We tend not to feel strong emotion to stuff that doesn't mean anything in our worlds.
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If you feel rage when you read the news, That rage is a signpost perhaps that you value equity and fairness,
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and an opportunity to take active steps to shape your life in that direction.
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When we are open to the difficult emotions, we are able to generate responses that are values-aligned.
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But there's an important caveat.
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Emotions are data, they are not directives.
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We can show up to and mine our emotions for their values without needing to listen to them.
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Just like I can show up to my son in his frustration with his baby sister,
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but not endorse his idea that he gets to give her away to the first stranger he sees in a shopping mall.
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We own our emotions.
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They don't own us.
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When we internalize the difference between how I feel in all my wisdom and what I do in a values-aligned action,
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we generate the pathway to our best selves via our emotions.
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So what does this look like in practice?
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When you feel a strong, tough emotion, don't race for the emotional exits.
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Learn its contours.
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Show up to the journal of your hearts.
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What is the emotion telling you?
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And try not to say, I am, as in I am angry or I am sad.
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When you say I am, it makes you sound as if you are the emotion, whereas you are you and the emotion is a data source.
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Instead, try to notice the feeling for what it is.
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I'm noticing that I'm feeling sad, or I'm noticing that I'm feeling angry.
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These are essential skills for us, our families, our communities.
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They are also critical to the workplace.
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In my research, when I looked at what helps people to bring the best of themselves to work, I found a powerful key contributor, individualized consideration.
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When people are allowed to feel their emotional truth, engagement, creativity and innovation flourish in the organization.
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Diversity isn't just people, it's also what's inside people, including diversity of emotion.
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The most agile, resilient individuals, teams, organizations, families, communities are built on an openness to the normal human emotions.
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It's this that allows us to say, what is my emotion telling me?
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Which action will bring me towards my values?
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Which will take me away from my values?
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Emotional agility is the ability to be with your emotions,
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with curiosity, compassion and especially the courage to take values-connected steps.
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When I was little, I would wake up at night terrified by the idea of death.
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My father would comfort me with soft pats and kisses, but he would never lie.
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We all die, Susie, he would say.
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It's normal to be scared.
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He didn't try to invent a buffer between me and reality.
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It took me a while to understand the power of how he guided me through those nights.
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What he showed me is that courage is not an absence of fear.
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Courage is fear walking.
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Neither of us knew that in 10 short years he would be gone, and the time for each of us is all too precious and all too brief.
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But when our moment comes to face our fragility in that ultimate time,
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it will ask us, are you agile?
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Are you agile?
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Let the moment be an unreserved yes, a yes born of a lifelong correspondence with your own heart,
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and in seeing yourself, because in seeing yourself, you are also able to see others, too.
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The only sustainable way forward in a fragile, beautiful world.
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Sobobona, and thank you.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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Почему стоит практиковать разговорный английский с помощью этого видео?
Это видео Сьюзан Дэвид предлагает уникальную возможность не только услышать английский язык, но и осмыслить важные понятия, связанные с эмоциональной гибкостью и внутренним миром человека. Используя этот контент, вы можете улучшить произношение английского и освоить навыки общения в сложных ситуациях. Вы услышите, как правильно произносить фразы и выражения, что поможет вам более уверенно вести диалоги на различные серьезные темы. Также это видео предоставляет отличный контекст для shadow speech, где вы можете повторять за спикером, что ведет к улучшению вашего произношения и интонации.
Грамматика и выражения в контексте
В этом видео используются несколько ключевых структур, которые вы можете применить в своей практике:
- «How we deal with our inner world drives everything» – здесь автор обращает внимание на то, как внутренние переживания влияют на все аспекты жизни. Для вас это означает важность эмоциональной осознанности в разговоре.
- «Imagine being greeted like that» – конструкция «Imagine + герундий» помогает выразить идеи и желания, что может быть полезно в общении.
- «I started to use food to numb my pain» – это хорошая иллюстрация использования инфинитива и описания действий в прошлом.
- «It's denial that makes 50 years» – здесь структура «It's + существительное + that» используется для акцентирования важной идеи.
При анализе этих структур вы можете учить английский с YouTube и строить собственные фразы, используя аналогичные модели.
Распространенные ловушки произношения
В видео вы можете столкнуться с некоторыми трудными для произношения словами и акцентами:
- «Agility» – обращайте внимание на ударение и произношение этой сложной для многих слова.
- «Denial» – важно правильно произносить «d» и «n», чтобы избежать путаницы.
- «Fragility» – это слово также может вызвать трудности, особенно в сочетании с другими словами.
Практикуйте произношение этих слов при помощи shadow speak, чтобы добиться лучших результатов. Неправильное произношение может затруднить понимание, и именно поэтому важно уделять этому внимание во время практики.
Что такое техника Shadowing?
Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.
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