Luyện nói tiếng Anh bằng Shadowing qua video: The gift and power of emotional courage | Susan David
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Reza Zaini Reviewer Hello, everyone.
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Reza Zaini Reviewer Hello, everyone.
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Sawobona.
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In South Africa, where I come from, sawobona is the Zulu word for hello.
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There's a beautiful and powerful intention behind the word, the salwana literally translated means, I see you, and by seeing you,
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I bring you into being. So beautiful.
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Imagine being greeted like that.
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But what does it take in the way we see ourselves, our thoughts, our emotions and our stories, that help us to thrive in an increasingly complex and fraught world?
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This crucial question has been at the center of my life's work, because how we deal with our inner world drives everything every aspect of how we love,
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how we live, how we parent and how we lead.
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The conventional view of emotions as good or bad, positive or negative, is rigid,
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and rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic.
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We need greater levels of emotional agility for true resilience and thriving.
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My journey with this calling began not in the hallowed halls of a university, but in the messy, tender business of life.
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I grew up in the white suburbs of apartheid South Africa, a country and community committed to not seeing, to denial.
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It's denial that makes 50 years of racist legislation possible, while people convince themselves that they are doing nothing wrong.
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And yet, I first learned of the destructive power of denial at a personal level, before I understood what it was doing to the country of my birth.
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My father died on a Friday.
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He was 42 years old and I was 15.
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My mother whispered to me to go and say goodbye to my father before I went to school.
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So I put my backpack down and walked the passage that ran through to where the heart of our home, my father, lay dying of cancer.
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His eyes were closed, but he knew I was there.
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In his presence, I had always felt seen.
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I told him I loved him, said goodbye and headed off for my day.
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At school, I drifted from science to mathematics to history to biology, as my father slipped from the world.
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From May to July to September to November, I went about with my usual smile.
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I didn't drop a single grade.
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When asked how I was doing, I would shrug and say, OK.
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I was praised for being strong.
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I was the master of being OK.
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But back home, we struggled.
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My father hadn't been able to keep his small business going during his illness, and my mother alone was grieving the love of her life, trying to raise three children,
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and the creditors were knocking.
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We felt as a family financially and emotionally ravaged, and I began to spiral down, isolated, fast.
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I started to use food to numb my pain, binging and purging, refusing to accept the full weight of my grief.
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No one knew, and in a culture that values relentless positivity, I thought that no one wanted to know.
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But one person did not buy into my story of triumph over grief.
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My eighth-grade English teacher fixed me with burning blue eyes as she handed out blank notebooks.
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She said, write what you're feeling.
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Tell the truth.
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Write like nobody's reading.
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And just like that, I was invited to show up authentically to my grief and pain.
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It was a simple act, but nothing short of a revolution for me.
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It was this revolution that started in this blank notebook 30 years ago that shaped my life's work,
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the secret silent correspondence with myself.
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Like a gymnast, I started to move beyond the rigidity of denial into what I've now come to call emotional agility.
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Life's beauty is inseparable from its fragility.
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We are young until we are not.
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We walk down the streets sexy until one day we realize that we are unseen.
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We nag our children and one day realize that there is silence where that child once was, now making his or her way in the world.
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We are healthy until a diagnosis brings us to our knees.
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The only certainty is uncertainty, and yet we are not navigating this frailty successfully or sustainably.
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The World Health Organization tells us that depression is now the single leading cause of disability globally,
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outstripping cancer, outstripping heart disease.
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And at a time of greater complexity, unprecedented technological, political and economic change,
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we are seeing how people's tendency is more and more to lock down into rigid responses to their emotions.
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On the one hand, we might obsessively brood on our feelings, getting stuck inside our heads,
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hooked on being right or victimized by our newsfeed.
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On the other, we might bottle our emotions, pushing them aside and permitting only those emotions deemed legitimate.
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In a survey I recently conducted with over 70,000 people, I found that a third of us,
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a third, either judge ourselves for having so-called bad emotions,
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like sadness, anger or even grief,
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or actively try to push aside these feelings.
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We do this not only to ourselves, but also to people we love, like our children.
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We may inadvertently be able to do this we may inadvertently shame them out of emotions seen as negative,
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jump to solution and fail to help them to see these emotions as inherently valuable.
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Normal, natural emotions are now seen as good or bad.
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And being positive has become a new form of moral correctness.
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People with cancer are automatically told to just stay positive.
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Woman to stop being so angry.
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And the list goes on.
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It's a tyranny.
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It's a tyranny of positivity.
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And it's cruel, unkind and ineffective and ineffective.
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And we do it to ourselves, and we do it to others.
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If there's one common feature of brooding, bottling or forced positivity, it's this.
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They are all rigid responses.
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And if there's a single lesson we can learn from the inevitable fall of apartheid, it is that rigid denial doesn't work.
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It's unsustainable for individuals, for families, for societies.
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And as we watch the ice caps melt, it is unsustainable for our planet.
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Research on emotional suppression shows that when emotions are pushed aside or ignored, they get stronger.
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Psychologists call this amplification, like that delicious chocolate cake in the refrigerator.
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the more you try to ignore it ...
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the greater its hold on you.
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You might think you're in control of unwanted emotions when you ignore them, but in fact, they control you.
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Internal pain always comes out.
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Always.
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And who pays the price?
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We do.
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Our children, our colleagues, our communities.
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Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-happiness.
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I like being happy.
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I'm a pretty happy person.
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But when we push aside normal emotions to embrace false positivity,
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We lose our capacity to develop skills to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be.
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I've had hundreds of people tell me what they don't want to feel.
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They say things like, I don't want to try because I don't want to feel disappointed, or I just want this feeling to go away.
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I understand, I say to them, But you have dead people's goals.
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Only dead people never get unwanted or inconvenienced by their feelings.
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Only dead people never get stressed, never get broken hearts, never experience the disappointment that comes with failure.
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Tough emotions are part of our contract with life.
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You don't get to have a meaningful career or raise a family or leave the world a better place
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without stress and discomfort.
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Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.
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I'm not a person.
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So how do we begin to dismantle rigidity and embrace emotional agility?
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As that young schoolgirl, when I leaned into those blank pages,
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I started to do away with feelings of what I should be experiencing,
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and instead started to open my heart to what I did feel, pain and grief and loss and regret.
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Research now shows that the radical acceptance of all of our emotions, even the messy, difficult ones, is the cornerstone to resilience,
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thriving and true, authentic happiness.
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But emotional agility is more than just an acceptance of emotions we also know that accuracy matters.
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In my own research, I found that words are essential.
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We often use quick and easy labels to describe our feelings.
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I'm stressed is the most common one I hear.
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But there's a world of difference between stress and disappointment, or stress and that knowing dread of, I'm in the wrong career.
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When we label our emotions accurately, we are more able to discern the precise cause of our feelings.
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And what scientists call the readiness potential in our brain is activated, allowing us to take concrete steps.
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But not just any steps, the right steps for us.
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Because our emotions are data.
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Our emotions contain flashing lights to things that we care about.
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We tend not to feel strong emotion to stuff that doesn't mean anything in our worlds.
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If you feel rage when you read the news, That rage is a signpost perhaps that you value equity and fairness,
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and an opportunity to take active steps to shape your life in that direction.
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When we are open to the difficult emotions, we are able to generate responses that are values-aligned.
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But there's an important caveat.
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Emotions are data, they are not directives.
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We can show up to and mine our emotions for their values without needing to listen to them.
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Just like I can show up to my son in his frustration with his baby sister,
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but not endorse his idea that he gets to give her away to the first stranger he sees in a shopping mall.
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We own our emotions.
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They don't own us.
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When we internalize the difference between how I feel in all my wisdom and what I do in a values-aligned action,
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we generate the pathway to our best selves via our emotions.
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So what does this look like in practice?
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When you feel a strong, tough emotion, don't race for the emotional exits.
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Learn its contours.
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Show up to the journal of your hearts.
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What is the emotion telling you?
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And try not to say, I am, as in I am angry or I am sad.
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When you say I am, it makes you sound as if you are the emotion, whereas you are you and the emotion is a data source.
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Instead, try to notice the feeling for what it is.
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I'm noticing that I'm feeling sad, or I'm noticing that I'm feeling angry.
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These are essential skills for us, our families, our communities.
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They are also critical to the workplace.
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In my research, when I looked at what helps people to bring the best of themselves to work, I found a powerful key contributor, individualized consideration.
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When people are allowed to feel their emotional truth, engagement, creativity and innovation flourish in the organization.
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Diversity isn't just people, it's also what's inside people, including diversity of emotion.
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The most agile, resilient individuals, teams, organizations, families, communities are built on an openness to the normal human emotions.
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It's this that allows us to say, what is my emotion telling me?
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Which action will bring me towards my values?
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Which will take me away from my values?
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Emotional agility is the ability to be with your emotions,
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with curiosity, compassion and especially the courage to take values-connected steps.
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When I was little, I would wake up at night terrified by the idea of death.
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My father would comfort me with soft pats and kisses, but he would never lie.
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We all die, Susie, he would say.
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It's normal to be scared.
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He didn't try to invent a buffer between me and reality.
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It took me a while to understand the power of how he guided me through those nights.
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What he showed me is that courage is not an absence of fear.
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Courage is fear walking.
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Neither of us knew that in 10 short years he would be gone, and the time for each of us is all too precious and all too brief.
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But when our moment comes to face our fragility in that ultimate time,
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it will ask us, are you agile?
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Are you agile?
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Let the moment be an unreserved yes, a yes born of a lifelong correspondence with your own heart,
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and in seeing yourself, because in seeing yourself, you are also able to see others, too.
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The only sustainable way forward in a fragile, beautiful world.
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Sobobona, and thank you.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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Tại sao việc luyện nói với video này là cần thiết?
Khi bạn luyện nói qua video "The gift and power of emotional courage" của Susan David, bạn không chỉ học được cách phát âm tiếng Anh chuẩn mà còn cải thiện khả năng giao tiếp của mình trong bối cảnh tình cảm và cảm xúc. Video mang đến nhiều thông điệp sâu sắc về sự can đảm cảm xúc và cách mà chúng ta nên tiếp cận những cảm xúc khó khăn. Đây là một nguồn tài nguyên quý giá giúp bạn luyện nghe nói qua video, giúp phát triển kỹ năng ngôn ngữ một cách tự nhiên và hiệu quả.
Ngữ pháp & Biểu thức trong bối cảnh
Trong video, Susan David thường sử dụng một số cấu trúc ngữ pháp và biểu thức nổi bật mà bạn có thể áp dụng trong giao tiếp hàng ngày:
- “I see you”: Câu thể hiện sự thấu hiểu và kết nối với người khác, có thể được dùng khi bắt đầu một cuộc trò chuyện.
- “We need greater levels of emotional agility”: Câu này nhấn mạnh tầm quan trọng của khả năng thích ứng với cảm xúc, một khái niệm có thể áp dụng trong nhiều tình huống giao tiếp.
- “Tell the truth”: Câu khuyến khích sự chân thật và minh bạch trong giao tiếp, rất quan trọng để xây dựng mối quan hệ tốt.
Các cấu trúc này không chỉ giúp bạn phát âm tiếng Anh chuẩn mà còn khuyến khích bạn đạt được sự tự tin hơn trong việc diễn đạt bản thân.
Các bẫy phát âm thường gặp
Khi xem video, bạn có thể gặp một số từ hoặc cụm từ có phát âm khó khăn. Dưới đây là một vài lưu ý:
- “Agility”: Từ này có âm tiết mạnh trong phần đầu và thường bị nói lướt, bạn nên chú ý phát âm rõ âm “gility”.
- “Denial”: Đây là một từ dễ phát âm sai do âm “d” và “n” gần nhau, hãy luyện đọc chậm để nghe rõ.
- “Emotional courage”: Khi luyện nói qua video, bạn nên tập trung vào cách phát âm liên kết giữa các từ, đặc biệt chú ý đến sự ngắt quãng tự nhiên.
Bằng cách vừa nghe và thực hành shadow speak với những đoạn hội thoại trong video, bạn sẽ cải thiện không chỉ phát âm mà còn cả kỹ năng lắng nghe & nói của mình. Hãy thường xuyên luyện nghe nói qua video và thử thách bản thân với các bài tập shadowspeak nhằm nâng cao khả năng giao tiếp hiệu quả!
Phương Pháp Shadowing Là Gì?
Shadowing là kỹ thuật học ngôn ngữ có cơ sở khoa học, ban đầu được phát triển cho chương trình đào tạo phiên dịch viên chuyên nghiệp và được phổ biến rộng rãi bởi nhà đa ngôn ngữ học Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Nguyên lý cốt lõi đơn giản nhưng cực kỳ hiệu quả: bạn nghe tiếng Anh của người bản xứ và lặp lại to ngay lập tức — như một "cái bóng" (shadow) đuổi theo người nói với độ trễ chỉ 1–2 giây. Khác với luyện ngữ pháp hay học từ vựng bị động, Shadowing buộc não bộ và cơ miệng phải đồng thời xử lý và tái tạo ngôn ngữ thực tế. Các nghiên cứu khoa học xác nhận phương pháp này cải thiện đáng kể phát âm, ngữ điệu, nhịp điệu, nối âm, kỹ năng nghe và độ lưu loát khi nói — đặc biệt hiệu quả cho người luyện IELTS Speaking và muốn giao tiếp tiếng Anh tự nhiên như người bản ngữ.