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What is fear?
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What is fear?
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It's this expectation that the pain of yesterday is going to happen today.
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What are schemas if not these rigid thoughts that I created in order to anticipate the pains of one's yesterday,
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of one's childhood?
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This fear of dying alone,
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of being alone, of being unworthy, it's always anticipatory.
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Convinced that I can somehow avoid it through hard work,
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validation, success, or whatever, I nonetheless feel that in the end it will all inevitably lead to the same results.
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Because these expectancies, these results,
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are based on the past.
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A past I can barely recall, let alone alter.
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I can't think myself out of this one.
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It's this exhausting, never-ending attempt to rationalize everything about myself.
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Like, you know, you keep sharpening a pencil,
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it's eventually going to run out.
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Only then, when I do all of this thinking,
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do I think, oh wow, I've solved myself.
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So I attach to ideas,
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philosophies, theories, people, half-baked images of the better me.
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They fit into a logic,
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they make sense, and they give me a sort of security.
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And when they're threatened, that's where I feel the fear.
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I act out of fear, out of desperation.
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Instead of confronting these fears,
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going through them, I go around them.
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I avoid vulnerability.
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I do not open up,
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and so I do not let anyone in.
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In the end, I cannot love.
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Love and fear cannot coexist.
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I fear myself, and so I cannot love myself.
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I didn't find myself in Patagonia.
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In fact, the whole trip was nothing more than the same old me doing the same old things in a new place.
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But it gave me the false sense that I had.
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This spectacle of interesting people,
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interesting places, nonetheless left me unchanged.
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One New Yorker writer likens travel to a boomerang,
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it brings you right back to where you started.
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Yes, I did begin to feel better,
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and I feel much better now,
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but this was only months after I realized that traveling all the way to the ends of the earth wouldn't fix me.
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A relationship wouldn't fix me.
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Universal admiration wouldn't fix me.
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And eventually I came to realize that nothing would fix me.
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That's because this entire time I saw myself as a problem to be fixed,
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to be solved, to be reduced to a formula.
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Self-help books, philosophies, religions, they give me an objective answer to the question of who I should be.
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There is something impersonal about this technique.
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Anyone can apply the formula.
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Embedded within its own cluster of genetics,
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interactions, experiences, and social influence,
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how could I possibly apply a generic answer to the deeply personal question of who I am?
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Being, then, is not a problem to be solved,
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but rather a mystery to be experienced.
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And only I can actively engage in this mystery.
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I have lived a life in captivity,
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an existence in which I have time and time again surrendered to these abstractions,
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these limits I've put on myself,
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and this is why I was so miserable,
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driven by fear, bound to these ideas of who I am.
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In doing so, I had neglected a sort of formless reflection involved in the present.
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I had denied a receptivity to the world,
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both externally and internally, in the service of maintaining these rigid self-beliefs.
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Most of all, I had denied myself a certain unity with existence,
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a unity crucial in understanding this mystery.
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I had become a slave to myself.
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This captivity was apparent in my relationships.
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I failed to open myself up because I had locked myself into this idea of who I am,
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an idea that I needed to retain in the hopes of solving myself.
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And so I was never with someone truly.
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I was always separate in the sense of hierarchy where I would see myself as superior or inferior,
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but I wasn't with them side by side.
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I had denied myself the ability to truly be with someone as a friend or lover,
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with each of us bonded by a fellowship larger than ourselves.
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This could only happen if I freed myself,
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if I opened myself up to both give and be given to.
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I must be strong enough to give and even stronger to ask for what I truly want.
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My thoughts and schemas have directed my life to this point.
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They themselves are driven by desire and fear.
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By counter-attacking and escaping, I follow my desires and my fears.
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I fear this, I desire that,
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but there's something else that has driven me.
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I'm not sure what it is exactly,
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but it's the whole reason why I made this.
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It's the whole reason why I'm still here.
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And I don't know if it's an implicit part of human nature or an act of choice,
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and hey, maybe it's a complete illusion.
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It simply tells me that this is worth it in some sense.
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I have faith that something good will come of this, whatever this is.
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I suppose I have faith in living still, and still trying.
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This is Marcel's idea of a strange hope.
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Hope consists in asserting that there is at the heart of being,
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beyond all data, beyond all inventories at all calculations of a serious principle which is in connivance with me.
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It is desire open-ended,
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an act of patience directed towards some form of salvation without any say in what such salvation will look like.
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It involves a commitment to humility
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which in other terms means a return to the present and the admission that I know very little about myself or others.
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You know, people hold on to these images of father,
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mother, husband, wife, again, for the same reason,
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because they seem to provide some firm ground.
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But there's no wife there.
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What does that mean?
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A wife, a husband, a son.
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A baby holds your hands,
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and then suddenly there's this huge man lifting you off the ground,
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and then he's gone.
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Where's that sun?
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All I know is that I don't actually know who I am.
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And that is okay.
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I never will.
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In fact, it is in those moments,
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in deep conversation, in love,
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face to face with beauty.
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Those moments where I've entirely lost myself.
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Where who I am no longer matters.
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A simple thought flashes.
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This is enough.

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이 수업에 대해

이번 수업에서는 '두려움'이라는 주제를 다루고, 불안을 극복하는 방법에 대해 이야기합니다. 학습자는 영어로 두려움과 자기 이해에 대한 다양한 관점을 탐색하며, 자신과의 관계를 강화하는 연습을 하게 됩니다. 이를 통해 IELTS 스피킹 준비에 필요한 많고 다양한 표현법을 익힐 수 있으며, 영어 발음 교정 및 영어 회화 연습에 도움이 될 것입니다.

주요 어휘 및 구문

  • 두려움 (fear): 과거의 아픔이 오늘 발생할 것이라는 기대를 나타냅니다.
  • 인식 (schema): 견고한 사고의 틀로, 과거의 고통을 예측하기 위해 만들어진 것입니다.
  • 취약성 (vulnerability): 자신을 드러내기 어렵고, 타인과의 관계를 형성하는 데 장애가 됩니다.
  • 사랑 (love): 두려움과 공존할 수 없으며, 자기 자신을 사랑하는 것이 중요합니다.
  • 해결하려는 시도 (attempt to solve): 자신을 문제로 보고 해결하려 하는 태도를 나타냅니다.
  • 여행 (travel): 새로운 장소가 변화를 가져다주지 않을 수도 있다는 통찰을 제공합니다.

연습 팁

이번 영상의 속도는 다소 느리지만, 감정이 묻어난 톤을 가지고 있습니다. 따라서, 쉐도잉을 할 때는 화자의 억양과 감정을 잘 살려 따라 하는 것이 중요합니다. 다음은 쉐도잉을 통해 영어 발음 교정을 위한 몇 가지 팁입니다:

  • 영상의 특정 구문을 반복하여 연습하세요. 감정의 뉘앙스를 이해하고 표현하는 것이 중요합니다.
  • 기본 발음 연습 과정을 통해 발음이 정확해질 수 있도록 노력하세요.
  • 영어 회화 연습을 할 때, 자신이 말하고 있는 내용을 되새기며 자연스럽게 문장을 구성해 보세요.
  • 영상과 함께 대화하는 듯한 상황을 만들어 보세요. 대화의 흐름을 따라가며 실생활에 적용해 볼 수 있습니다.

이러한 연습을 통해 유튜브 영어 공부의 효과를 극대화하고, 보다 자연스럽고 자신 있게 영어로 의사소통할 수 있는 능력을 기를 수 있습니다.

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법

쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.

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