Shadowing Practice: How to get over heartbreak FAST - Learn English Speaking with Video

If you're crying over losing a partner right now, exiting a relationship, I want you to take pen and paper.

I want you to write down.

in one section all the good things that he's done for you.

Did he say nice words?

Was he loyal?

Are you flowers?

Whatever.

Like all the good things and then the bad things, okay?

Then I want you to look at that paper and if the bad column is way longer than the good one, I want you to fold the paper like this.

Fold the paper and then I want you to start drying your tears.

Okay.

Then I want you to go to the bathroom and I want you to take a deep look in the mirror.

And I want you to ask yourself, why am I crying over losing a problem?

Because honey, you did not have a partner.

You had a problem.

Hi guys, my name is Ziz and welcome back to my channel.

In this video I will show you how to get over heartbreak very fast

because honestly in my life I've always gotten over things very fast, especially in a relationship.

I've done some things that I feel like really helped me and I hope it can help you too.

First thing I want you to ask yourself is was the relationship genuinely good?

I We have this psychological phenomenon.

It's called rosy retrospection.

So what our brain basically does in any situation that involves loss, like loss of a friendship, loss of a job, loss of a partner,

what your brain is going to do is remember the more positive memories

because it's like a coping mechanism for the brain to just make you feel better.

Now you have to genuinely be honest Let me actually reflect on the relationship.

What I for example did with my recent ex right now, when I just found out about the cheating, I was like for two days in very much shock because this person portrayed themselves as someone that they weren't.

So now I have to question who did I sleep next to for the past?

year you know like who is this person actually so then

when i started really reflecting on the relationship i was like it Wasn't that good.

I felt suffocated.

I had all these things and I'm like the relationship wasn't good.

So I I honestly got what I wanted and I remember the first time that I saw him again was in London.

That was like three, four weeks after this all had happened

and we sat down and we had a conversation and I looked at him and I said, you know, I'm so grateful that you did this

because you allowed me to step out of this relationship because I'm the kind of person, I am very patient with a partner and I don't like to date around.

I will stick to one partner and even if like things happen where

it's not that bad so then i stay after only a shocking thing happened or something where i'm like, oh that i can definitely not accept, i feel like i give myself permission to leave

because otherwise i constantly feel bad for the person i feel like i'm abandoning them, you know? ask yourself, like was the relationship genuinely good? or are you literally like talking yourself into thinking

that it was genuinely good? because if it was that good, why did it end? like what was the reason that it ended?

Another thing you should ask yourself is, are you heartbroken or is your ego hurt?

So when our ego is hurt, we normally look at our self -worth, okay?

We feel like we weren't worthy enough or

that person didn't view us as highly as we thought they would or love us as much.

But I can honestly tell you, honey, listen to me, it was not about you.

If a person did something bad to you or if they cheated on you or did whatever,

have done that that is their character.

and you shouldn't take their character and put it on yourself

and be like this defines me no it doesn't define you like if you were genuinely good with them, if you were honest, if you were loyal and they did you like

that then there's nothing you could have done you could have like literally controlled them more, did this more, did that more, whatever they would have still done that.

that is in their character you have to think like oh my god someone

that wants to hurt someone in

that kind of way how do they think you have to be very very selfish first of all

and you have to be so inconsiderate of your partner to do

that so they just didn't consider you and they won't consider the next person

that is the pattern that is who they are like for example

when my dad cheated on my mom for like the 7 000 time

but then this time he actually got married to another woman and he

be with you and my mom was on the phone and she told him listen I do not feel...

any sadness that you left because you are a problem and you are a problem that has left.

And she said, "I feel bad for your new wife because you did not leave with a new personality.

You left with the same personality that you have." And guess what guys, my oldest brother, he's the only one that still talks to my dad and he's around him,

he told us, "Dad has like two daughters now and a son." to young daughters.

He told us the way he abuses this woman is really not normal.

And these little daughters of that new wife go to my dad and they say, why do you do this to our mom?

And I'm literally thinking to myself, you're out here traumatizing every single child.

Like, how is this normal?

This is not normal.

But look, he never changed.

He never changed.

He just switched the woman, but his character stayed the same.

Also as you guys know, like I said in the last video, I have joined BetterHelp myself.

I already had two sessions with my therapist from BetterHelp

and she actually encouraged me to start journaling again

and she told me to write down what did this situation make me feel.

I'm not sure.

what is it really about and

when i was journaling down those emotions i came to the conclusion that this situation made me feel abandoned

And coming from an abandoned childhood, this was very triggering for me because the person that you trust, the person that you sleep with,

you never expect them to abandon you.

Especially if they didn't give you any signs that they would abandon you.

So I really found a lot of hope in talking to my therapist

and that is why this video is also sponsored by Better Health.

If you want to join therapy but you don't know where to start

or you don't know where to begin to find a therapist, You just don't have the energy for it.

You can just look up BetterHelp and start with finding a therapist.

It is also way cheaper than other therapy options that you have out there.

You also get a wide selection of available therapists.

They are licensed, they are experienced, and they are from a lot of different backgrounds and you can choose which one is the right fit for you.

Now, if you find that the one that you have matched with is not the right fit, BetterHelp, allows you to switch therapists with no additional charge.

This would not happen in real life.

So if you think that you might benefit from therapy, then please click the link in the description down below

or visit betterhelp .com slash wizard list to get 10 % off your first month at BetterHelp.

Another thing is losing a bad person is never a loss.

You got protected.

God gave you the biggest protection even if it takes 10 years, even if it takes 20 years, at the end of the day,

when you have that switch in your head and you click and you say, you know what, this is what I won't accept anymore

and you walk away or you say like this is the last time you've treated me like that and you walk away.

100

i applaud you and honestly god bless you with opening your eyes because

101

a bad person is going to ruin you and

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when you are in that relationship you cannot see

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that for yourself you cannot see the future ahead

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because you're kind of confused in an emotional abusive situation as well you don't know what's really going on

105

and you start to kind of become like a zombie but i promise you once you're out of that

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And once you look back, clear eyes, you're like, What the fuck was I in?

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What was I doing?

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You see when you're around people that just energetically constantly want to take from you, you start to lose yourself.

109

And you will see these people, they become more successful, they have this, they have that, but you start to lose your purpose, you don't feel like yourself anymore, you don't even look like yourself anymore.

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And then you think like, what is going on?

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But then you step out of that relationship all of a sudden your glow is back, your skin is healing, you look way better, you feel better, you have motivation.

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you were not the problem then i promise you you were

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not the problem don't think like oh my god i should go back now

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because maybe it will get better honey if it didn't get better by now it will not get better Believe me,

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I've been around addicts, I have been around people that had certain ways about them that never ever wanted to change,

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and nothing what I did to try to help them or try to make them change.

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ever did anything.

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Never.

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If someone doesn't want to change themselves and if they don't take that necessary step to change

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you will not see a new person.

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they'll probably...

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die like that.

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Truly.

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Another thing is allow the emotions to come over you, allow these emotions to purge and process.

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Reflect on the situation and ask yourself, okay, Why do I feel like this right now?

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You feel immense sadness.

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Because yeah, it's normal.

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You just lost a person that you were with every day probably, you're texting them every day, like that is hard loss, it's almost like someone died,

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someone cheated on you, it's like figuring out that that person never existed, so now you're questioning your own reality because they did something.

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it's really sad.

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So what I would suggest then is talk to a friend, talk to a therapist, and talk it over and over and over again.

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God bless my sister Sabina, I've talked to her about the same situation 10 ,000 times.

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Like, I was over and over again talking to her about it because I could not understand the shock.

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I did not see this coming.

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But that really helped me to get this out of my system and I come to a point where I was like, okay, I get it now.

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what I do next is do I allow this or do I not allow this in my life?

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also for the ones thinking like you know maybe

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if you ask the person that hurt you why they did it

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that will make you feel better well honestly i did that

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so i've talked to my ex so many times we've had

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so many conversations over

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and over again i said why what was the reason every time he gives me a reason

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but that did not make me less angry That did not help.

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That did not make me want to get back with him or love him.

145

No. From the minute I found this out, the love was Gone.

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gone.

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Anything further than this is pure because the child sees someone for who they are and the mask has dropped

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you cannot unsee that.

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Now it's time to focus on yourself.

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I love going through a breakup personally, because I always have the biggest glow up afterwards.

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And any girl that I see, whenever they go through a breakup, they come out as a baddie.

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So I'm like, Okay, so just focus on yourself right now.

153

Like if you want to go to the gym and do whatever you want to do, do that.

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If you want to do more self -care or work on yourself or whatever, do that.

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If you just want to focus on regulating your nervous system, on finding new ways to relax, whatever makes you feel good.

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do that and don't feel bad for spending money on that

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or investing in yourself no honey this is the time

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that you should be extra extra nice to yourself

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and this is also the time that you should surround yourself with people

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that truly love you love shouldn't only come from a partner we shouldn't only talk about romantic love

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because honestly romantic love is not the biggest thing in the world a lot of this romantic love

162

that people talk about is like in the beginning it's so much

163

into you love that person as a family member or even as friends.

164

That's how you like go on and you stay with them.

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But for example, if you have love from your animals, if you have love from your friends, you have love from your siblings, really be around these people and talk to them.

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I literally spent so much time with my family, my brothers, my mom, and I'm

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so grateful to have such a good support system around me

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because these people make me feel so good about myself yourself with people that uplift you,

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that want to see you do good and if you don't have those people in your life or in your family, go out and find them.

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Also understand that you are not alone in this.

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The reason that I share these things online and share my whole journey is because I really want people to

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truly see what i'm going through and i know

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that a lot of things i maybe should keep for myself

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like my mom tells me liz why did you say this

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liz why did you say this like don't say these things but then i remember like what if someone

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genuinely thinks like me or what if someone is exactly in a situation like me?

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That can help them.

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Me talking about it can help them and can make them feel related and less lonely.

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So if I can make one person feel less lonely, even though I'm literally embarrassing myself a little bit, then it's my whole purpose, that's why I do this.

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I think that's beautiful.

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If someone can look at my situation and learn from it and not repeat the same mistakes that I make, then that's also very beautiful.

182

I think it's very vulnerable to come online and share all these things for millions of people.

183

And then obviously you allow yourself to be judged, which I'm fine with that.

184

Everyone is allowed to have their opinion, they don't need to agree with me.

185

Because I don't agree with some things that I've done myself.

186

So that's normal and that's human.

187

There's so many more people that are maybe afraid to speak up about these things.

188

But I think realizing that your situation is not unique

189

and other people have gone through that and they have gone through that whole process will make you feel a lot better.

190

Also, they've gone through it and they've came out of it really good, okay?

191

so don't worry start adapting the mindset that everything happens in the most divine way.

192

i have

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always believed this i have always believed that god is guiding my life

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and whatever happens needs to happen whoever i lose needs to

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go i also don't go into relationships thinking like oh my god this is gonna be forever

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or the all of this forever i don't believe in forever i think we all die and then we go home.

197

I just believe that whatever is happening in my life is meant to happen and it's happening for my highest good.

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Start adapting that mindset.

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Whenever something happens to you, don't say "God, why did you do this to me?" Ask yourself "What is this teaching me?"

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What can I learn from this?

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And how is God allowing me to grow right now?

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I really believe that just because I have such a positive outlook on life

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and I really put a lot of faith in God, that my life has always been miraculously always very beautiful.

204

I'm very grateful for that, you know, even though I had a bad childhood.

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But even coming out of that, if I look back, I'm like,

206

whoa, this is God's work better.

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And you have to also start believing that for yourself.

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When something bad happens, you have to be like, oh my god, I'm so excited.

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Because now so many good things are going to happen for you.

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And when you receive those blessings, have immense impact gratitude and last but not least

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you will rise regardless no matter what happens to you no

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matter who lives your life no matter who bullies you no matter whoever says whatever about you you will rise

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and every person that has done you badly will have to watch you rise

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because god will put you right back together in front of the people

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that broke you i not promise you that i have not one time seen people that have been done dirty,

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that had good intentions or that just really were good to a person, that did not rise after that.

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You will rise again and again.

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This is not the first time something bad has happened.

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This will not be the last time that something bad has happened.

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But at the end of the day, when you still have yourself that is when you have won.

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At the end of the day, when you come home and you look in the mirror and you still hold your head high, that is when you have won.

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No matter what happens, everyone will always have to watch you Rise.

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And that will be your revenge.

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Just creating a better life for yourself, leveling yourself up is the biggest revenge.

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You don't need to do them like they did you.

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Because going down to their level...

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Why go down?

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It's only up from here, honey.

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Anyways guys, I hope this video helped someone and you enjoyed this video.

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I love you guys so much and thank you so much for the love.

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Thank you so much for the support.

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You guys are so so nice to me and

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so sweet to me and the literally the love

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that I've received from you guys is another reason why I feel so good.

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I feel so happy and thank God that my stress and everything is not that bad.

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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les

Deze spreekles op niveau B2 is gebaseerd op de video “How to get over heartbreak FAST”. Deze video bevat 235 zinnen en 3260 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 17:21. De spreker praat snel, ongeveer 188 woorden per minuut, dus reken op verbonden en ingeslikte klanken. 89% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden, dus de woordenschat is goed te volgen.

Belangrijke woorden in deze video

De 15 moeilijkste woorden uit de video, met uitspraak en betekenis:

Woord	Uitspraak	Betekenis
therapist zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈθɛɹəpɪst/	therapeut, therapeute
abandon werkwoord	/əˈbæn.dən/	opgeven, prijsgeven
cheat werkwoord	/ˈt͡ʃiːt/	valsspelen, bedriegen
emotion zelfstandig naamwoord	/ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/	emotie
breakup zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈbɹeɪk.ʌp/	relatiebreuk
mindset zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/	mentaliteit, ingelsteldheid
sadness zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈsædnəs/	verdriet, droefenis
immense bijvoeglijk naamwoord	/ɪˈmɛns/	immens
adapt werkwoord	/əˈdæpt/	aanpassen
fold werkwoord	/ˈfəʊld/	vouwen
loyal bijvoeglijk naamwoord	/ˈlɔɪəl/	loyaal, getrouw
applaud werkwoord	/əˈplɔd/	applaudisseren, klappen
baddie zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈbædi/	slechterik
embarrass werkwoord	/ɪmˈbæɹəs/	verlegen maken, in verlegenheid brengen
heartbreak zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈhɑɹt.bɹeɪk/	hartzeer

Phrasal verbs die je zult horen

Woord	Uitspraak	Betekenis
look back werkwoord		achterom kijken, terugkijken
write down werkwoord		opschrijven, neerschrijven
come out werkwoord	/ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/	uitkomen
come over werkwoord		langskomen
figure out werkwoord		uitvogelen, er achter komen
get off werkwoord		van ... afgaan
go back werkwoord		teruggaan
go down werkwoord		afdalen

Grammatica in deze video

De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:

Structuur	In de video
Present perfect have/has + voltooid deelwoord — iets uit het verleden dat nu nog telt	I've always gotten · I've done · have done
Lijdende vorm be + voltooid deelwoord — het gaat om wat er gebeurt, niet om wie het doet	is hurt · is also sponsored · are licensed

Uitspraak om op te letten

De spreker gebruikt 70 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals don't, I'm, you're. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.

De klanken “sh” en “zh”: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, selfish /ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/, intentions /ɪnˈtɛnʃənz/
Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, inconsiderate /ˌɪnkənˈsɪdəɹɪt/, miraculously /məˈɹækjələsli/, phenomenon /fəˈnɒm.ɪ.nən/

Klanken die Nederlandstaligen lastig vinden:

Stemhebbende eindmedeklinker — /b/, /d/, /g/, /z/, /v/ niet verscherpen: fold /ˈfəʊld/, applaud /əˈplɔd/, traumatize /ˈtɹɔ.mə.taɪz/, purge /pɜɹd͡ʒ/, surround /səˈɹaʊnd/
/æ/ — opener dan de Nederlandse “e”: abandon /əˈbæn.dən/, sadness /ˈsædnəs/, adapt /əˈdæpt/, baddie /ˈbædi/, embarrass /ɪmˈbæɹəs/
/g/ — een harde plofklank, geen Nederlandse “g”: glow /ɡloʊ/, regulate /ˈɹɛɡ.jə.leɪt/, gratitude /ˈɡɹæ.tɪ.tud/

Zo oefen je met deze video

Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als therapist, abandon, cheat.

Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?

Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.

Shadowing-techniek: lees de volledige stap-voor-stap-gids →

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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les

Belangrijke woorden in deze video

Phrasal verbs die je zult horen

Grammatica in deze video

Uitspraak om op te letten

Zo oefen je met deze video

Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?