Shadowing Practice: How I Got Over My Worst Heartbreak (And You Can Too) - Learn English Speaking with Video
Kies een oefenmodus
Elke modus opent een volledig scherm oefenruimte.
198 zinnen
Als zinnen te kort of te lang zijn, klik op Bewerken om ze aan te passen.
1
I still remember the greatest heartbreak of my life.
2
And today I'm going to talk about it.
3
I remember it really well.
4
I remember where I was, I remember that I didn't see it coming at all.
5
I remember the moments of breaking down sporadically in restaurants with my family
6
because I was not coping with the new predicament I found myself in of having been broken up with.
7
I remember searching for wisdom on YouTube and discovering that all of the most viral videos on Heartbreak were my own videos.
8
This was a moment where talking about what I knew meant nothing.
9
Practicing everything I had ever learned and spoken about
10
and taught to everybody else was the way that I was going to save myself.
11
So in this video, I want to talk about the five things
12
that I did that proved to be essential and life-saving in one of the hardest moments of my life.
13
I'm not going to be able to go through all five of these in nearly as much detail as I want, but that's okay
14
because tomorrow I am starting five days to mend where I
15
am going to be with every one of you who is heartbroken right now for an hour a day, taking you through in depth all of the things that can help you move forward.
16
I promise you by the end of this week, you're going to feel better.
17
It starts tomorrow.
18
You can sign up at mendweek.com and it's free.
19
So come join us.
20
So the first one is I truly had to learn how to cope with the severe emotions
21
that I was feeling at that time around pain and loss.
22
Now, Now look, whether we are newly in the throes of heartbreak or we have been stuck there for some time, the emotions can feel unbearable.
23
Fear, anxiety, grief, depression, regret, all of these things can destabilize our mental health,
24
rob us of our joy and make it impossible to fully inhabit our own lives.
25
But here's what I learned.
26
It is not these emotions themselves that dictate the quality of our life when we're heartbroken.
27
It is the relationship we develop with those emotions.
28
For me, this meant understanding the difference between emotion and thought.
29
The emotions, the deep sense of loss,
30
the grief, the pain of this area of my life going away, That alone was awful.
31
But what made it far worse was all the story that went with it.
32
The story of this was my person and I lost them.
33
That was a story.
34
That was a thought pattern.
35
The story of I'll never meet anyone like this again.
36
Story.
37
The thought of this makes me not good enough.
38
You know, if I had been more this, more that, this person wouldn't have left.
39
All of these thoughts took what were already painful emotions and compounded them into something truly unbearable and catastrophic.
40
The way that I look at the difference between emotion and thought is if a bee stung you right now,
41
you probably wouldn't have a lot of self-defeating thought or story around that.
42
You wouldn't say, I can't believe I left the window open and that allowed the bee to fly in and sting me.
43
I'm such an idiot.
44
Always that person who leaves the window open and you wouldn't do that.
45
A bee stung you, it would hurt.
46
You'd be like, ow, that hurts.
47
It's annoying.
48
It's frustrating.
49
I need to treat this with something, right?
50
You treat the wound.
51
In heartbreak, we're so busy thinking and constructing story that we don't actually treat the wound.
52
We don't sit with the pain.
53
And by sitting with the pain and being present with the pain, we actually give ourselves a chance to move through it.
54
The thought is what keeps us in rumination about it and makes the pain turn into suffering.
55
On day one of Five Days to Mend, I'm going to show you some ways to really employ this and we'll go through a bunch of examples.
56
But let me move on to the second thing that was necessary for me to get through my heartbreak.
57
I had to learn techniques to stop thinking about this person.
58
Compulsive rumination about an ex is a hallmark of heartbreak.
59
And we spend so much time in our heads that we end up fracturing ourselves.
60
We wear one mask when we go to work or when we're at dinner with friends.
61
Internally, we are in a private world of pain.
62
It's easy for everything to remind us of that person we have lost.
63
Places, pictures, people, sounds, music.
64
All of these things feel like roads that lead back to thoughts of them.
65
Even just seeing someone else who's happy can lead us back to thinking about what we have lost.
66
It's why at a time of heartbreak, no matter how many good things there are in your life, it can feel like nothing else matters to you.
67
That can switch us off to the love we do have in our lives.
68
It can switch us off to the friendships that are showing up for us, the things that are happening in our career.
69
It can literally shut us down to everything beautiful.
70
The truth that really helped me, and I think it will help you too if you can connect to it,
71
is that actually the world outside of your ex is far,
72
far, far bigger than the world of your ex.
73
It's massive.
74
There are so many people in the world.
75
There are so many experiences to be had in the world.
76
We couldn't possibly experience everything and everyone there is to experience in a thousand lifetimes, let alone our short life.
77
But the more we start to add new pieces of our life in, the more we start to create new firsts,
78
new associations, that person starts to become a smaller and smaller part of our overall map of the world.
79
And what it's given way to is this hugely expansive terrain that we now get to explore.
80
This doesn't mean that the grief of losing someone goes away overnight, but what started as a grief
81
that felt like it was the universe starts to become a smaller and smaller and smaller part of our universe.
82
We start to realize that there is so much more to life than this person that we have lost.
83
The third thing that saved me in my heartbreak was being hyper aware
84
that there were things that were going to make me feel better
85
and there were things that were reliably going to make me feel worse.
86
My brother talks about this as the difference between the hangover recovery method and the athlete recovery method.
87
The hangover recovery method is you went out drinking, you feel awful the next day, and then when you're in that mode, what do we do?
88
We watch trashy TV, we eat greasy food, maybe even we start drinking again to try and feel better with the hair of the dog.
89
The athlete recovery method is very different to that.
90
I remember in the height of my heartbreak going into a jujitsu class
91
that I'd been doing for years
92
and the professor was there at the time I went up to him his name's Cobrinha
93
and I said I uh I'm going through a really bad time right now I'm like massively heartbroken
94
and I was like at the time you know when you're in
95
that kind of heartbreak you're just searching you just want anything to feel better.
96
And he said, you have suffered an injury the same way we do here on the mats.
97
You got an injury.
98
In this case, it's your heart.
99
Your heart's been injured.
100
Okay, great.
101
So that's injured, but that doesn't mean we can't train every other part of our body
102
because that's what you would do here.
103
You train everything else so that as this heals, when it does heal, everything else is ready to go.
104
So be hyper aware of the things that you know are going to make you feel worse,
105
whether it's alcohol, whether it's drugs, whether it's not sleeping, whether it's hooking up,
106
you know, trying to have a rebound relationship.
107
You know that these things are reliably going to make you feel worse.
108
You have energy right now, right?
109
There's a kind of energy to heartbreak.
110
There's energy there.
111
It wants to go somewhere.
112
Our job is to direct that energy to the things that are going to make us feel better, not worse.
113
And look, one gym session, you know, drinking enough water today, getting more sleep tonight, doing a meditation,
114
the right journaling prompts when you're heartbroken, which on MEND week next week I will show you, they're not going to make us feel better instantly.
115
But the accumulation of these things starts to change the game bit by bit.
116
It also has the added effect of making us proud of ourselves.
117
And becoming proud of ourselves is a wonderful antidote to the self-loathing and the self-esteem damage that we can get during heartbreak.
118
By the way, when we do MEND Week this week, it's not just going to be me going live for an hour a day, maybe longer on some days.
119
You know me, we'll see.
120
but I'm also going to be giving you access to Matthew AI free of charge for these days
121
that we do this together because I want you to have 24 7 access even
122
when we're not live together to me and my brain so
123
that if at 2 a.m you're struggling with your heartbreak
124
and you're having these anxious
125
or ruminating thoughts you can still talk to me you can still have
126
that conversation that you need that is going to reassure you and make yourself feel better.
127
I'm also creating a special part of my Love Life app specifically for everyone going through heartbreak right now
128
that you'll be able to access for free during five days to mend
129
so that you can go through this with other people in a private safe space.
130
The fourth thing I had to do in the worst heartbreak of my life was reclaim my confidence.
131
Heartbreak is like the death of our ego.
132
It is a catastrophic blow sometimes to our sense of worth.
133
And what happens in heartbreak is we start telling ourselves stories that further damage our confidence.
134
If I had been more sexy, more attractive, if I had had a better body, if I had been taller, if I had been more impressive,
135
if I had been more charismatic, if I hadn't been so insecure, they would have stayed.
136
Be careful of trusting your thoughts in the moments where you're already vulnerable.
137
They will lead you to catastrophic places.
138
They will feel like the truth, but they are a truth that is generated by your worst fears.
139
What wrecks our confidence is the story that that's all we are.
140
That we're not also someone who can own themselves.
141
We're not also someone who can take charge.
142
That we're not also someone who has really amazing qualities, who does believe in themselves in these ways.
143
We're all those things.
144
So the secret to confidence is not being bulletproof.
145
The secret to confidence is integration.
146
It's realizing that Your insecurity,
147
the catastrophic thinking is telling you you are only this bad thing and that's why they didn't want you.
148
Instead of saying, of course I'm not only that bad thing, I'm all these good things as well.
149
When you realise you are many things, you simply get to choose which of those things you are going to lean into.
150
And that is the beginning of confidence.
151
The fifth thing I learned was to let go.
152
When we go through a breakup, we have this instinctive urge to make it work,
153
to win them back, to try to control the situation somehow.
154
Even try and control the outcome of it all.
155
You know, I'm going to find someone really quickly.
156
I'm going to find someone better than them.
157
I'm going to do, like, whatever way we go, whether it's getting them back or trying to move on fast or whatever,
158
it's, we're working so hard to control the situation and there's a beauty in being like yeah I got heartbroken.
159
I am heartbroken and I am not going to try to control the outcome of all of this.
160
I'm going to do the next right thing.
161
I'm going to you know if I'm feeling like I need one more conversation with them.
162
If I'm feeling like it's, you know, we've been together for a very long time
163
and I want to recommend that the two of us get therapy together to see if we can work it out, even just to see if they're open to it.
164
If I feel like I need to write them a letter explaining how I feel
165
and explaining that I think they're making a terrible decision, you can do that.
166
There's nothing stopping you doing that.
167
Do the thing that you feel you need to do or can do and then make peace with whatever happens next.
168
It's almost like you have to do the thing that you could do.
169
I think about anxiety this way.
170
Do the thing that you can do and then be really disciplined about getting on with your day.
171
in this case be really disciplined about doing the thing you can do and then getting on with your life
172
and having the humility to know
173
that you have no idea what is coming you know we
174
we don't always know what is best for us what is
175
the next best thing to happen we think we do in
176
in this case usually we think the best thing is
177
that our ex has a turnaround and comes back for us and that we end up together.
178
But nowhere is it written that that's true.
179
That may not be the best thing.
180
We don't necessarily know what's best.
181
Sometimes we have to let life unfold. That means letting go.
182
And if we've been stuck on someone for a while, we have to explore why that is.
183
What is happening here that I've gone past the acute stage of heartbreak.
184
And instead of just occasionally feeling the remnants of grief, which happens over time, I'm still locked in this story about this person.
185
We have to explore what's going on there and why we aren't allowing ourselves to move forward with our life.
186
And for those of you coming to Mend Week with me, we're going to do that on day five.
187
It's going to be an incredible five days together.
188
It's going to be really healing for the people involved.
189
I can't wait.
190
I know that this was one of the worst times in my life
191
when I went through it
192
and I'm really honoured to be able to be there for you who in one way
193
or another are going through one of the worst times in your life too.
194
I will see you tomorrow for day one of MEND Week.
195
MENDweek.com is the link.
196
Thank you for watching.
197
Leave me a comment and I'll see you soon.
198
Thank you.
App downloaden
Alles wat je nodig hebt om vloeiend te spreken
AI UitspraakScoor elke zin
IPA OefeningBeheers elk geluid
WoordenschatBouw je woordenschat op
WoordenspelLeren terwijl je speelt
Zelfde Kanaal
C13
13 Subtle Ways to Make Him Want More With You
British AccentWorking Adults
B23
This Romantic Gesture Is Actually a Sign He's NOT SERIOUS
British AccentDaily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
How to Flirt Naturally
British AccentInterview EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
Your Heartbreak Will Get Better the Moment You Watch This
British AccentBusiness EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B23
If You Feel Like You LOST The One, WATCH THIS! | Matthew Hussey
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
FOR YOU
Aanbevolen Video
B28
31 zinnen
How to Love without fear
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B212
69 zinnen
What To Do After A Breakup? | Learn English Podcast | Healing Podcast | Intermediate
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B2180 zinnen
5 Realistic Tips For Getting Your Life Together (when you're stressed & overwhelmed)
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
C13
36 zinnen
How To Get Over Rejection
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B24
233 zinnen
How to Have Difficult Conversations (Even If It's Confronting)
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B218
20 zinnen
Why Nothing Changes (And How To Break Free)
American AccentBusiness EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B28
337 zinnen
How to Enter Your Unbothered Era: Stop Over-Explaining and Let Them Lose You
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B24
63 zinnen
Do you Feel Lonely Tonight? We Are Here To Help
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
![THE TOMMY PODCAST [WANDERING SERIES - EP.01] - You Can't Win If You Always Expect to Lose](https://img.youtube.com/vi/0WyKMjdrWt8/mqdefault.jpg)
B24
101 zinnen
THE TOMMY PODCAST [WANDERING SERIES - EP.01] - You Can't Win If You Always Expect to Lose
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
149 zinnen
so you deleted social media... now what?
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les
Deze spreekles op niveau B2 is gebaseerd op de video “How I Got Over My Worst Heartbreak”. Deze video bevat 198 zinnen en 2569 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 16:52. De spreker praat in een natuurlijk tempo van ongeveer 152 woorden per minuut, dicht bij een alledaags gesprek. 87% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden, dus de woordenschat is goed te volgen.
Belangrijke woorden in deze video
De 15 moeilijkste woorden uit de video, met uitspraak en betekenis:
| Woord | Uitspraak | Betekenis |
|---|---|---|
| heartbreak zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈhɑɹt.bɹeɪk/ | hartzeer |
| emotion zelfstandig naamwoord | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | emotie |
| mend werkwoord | /mɛnd/ | herstellen, repareren |
| grief zelfstandig naamwoord | /ɡɹiːf/ | rouw, leedwezen |
| catastrophic bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˌkætəˈstɹɑfɪk/ | catastrofisch |
| heal werkwoord | /ˈhiːl/ | genezen, helen |
| injure werkwoord | /ˈɪn.d͡ʒɚ/ | kwetsen, blesseren |
| rumination zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˌɹuːmɪˈneɪʃən/ | peinzen, piekeren |
| unbearable bijvoeglijk naamwoord | onuitstaanbaar | |
| hangover zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈhæŋoʊ̯vɚ/ ~ /ˈhæŋɔʊ̯vɚ/ | kater |
| athlete zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈæθ.liːt/ | atleet |
| antidote zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈæn.tɪ.doʊt/ | tegengif |
| bulletproof bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˈbʊlɪtpɹuf/ | kogelvrij |
| charismatic bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˌkɛɹəzˈmætək/ | charismatisch |
| compulsive bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /kəmˈpʌlsɪv/ | dwangmatig |
Phrasal verbs die je zult horen
| Woord | Betekenis |
|---|---|
| end up werkwoord | belanden, terechtkomen |
| get on with werkwoord | aan de gang gaan met, doorgaan |
| go away werkwoord | weggaan |
| break down werkwoord | stukgaan, kapot gaan |
| go out werkwoord | naar buiten gaan |
| hook up werkwoord | aansluiten |
Zinnen om te herhalen
Korte, volledige zinnen uit de video die je in alledaagse gesprekken kunt gebruiken:
- You'd be like, ow, that hurts.
- We don't sit with the pain.
- In this case, it's your heart.
- You know me, we'll see.
- That we're not also someone who can own themselves.
Grammatica in deze video
De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:
| Structuur | In de video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + voltooid deelwoord — iets uit het verleden dat nu nog telt | have been stuck · have lost · have suffered |
| Lijdende vorm be + voltooid deelwoord — het gaat om wat er gebeurt, niet om wie het doet | been broken · have been stuck · be had |
| Betrekkelijke bijzinnen who / which + zin — extra informatie over een persoon of ding | person who leaves · someone who can · someone who has |
Uitspraak om op te letten
De spreker gebruikt 68 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals I'm, we're, you're. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.
- De “th”-klanken: athlete /ˈæθ.liːt/, loathe /ˈloʊð/
- De klanken “sh” en “zh”: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, rumination /ˌɹuːmɪˈneɪʃən/, reassure /ˌɹi.əˈʃʊɹ/, trashy /ˈtɹæʃi/, accumulation /əˌkjuːm.jəˈleɪ.ʃən/
- Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: catastrophic /ˌkætəˈstɹɑfɪk/, rumination /ˌɹuːmɪˈneɪʃən/, hangover /ˈhæŋoʊ̯vɚ/ ~ /ˈhæŋɔʊ̯vɚ/, charismatic /ˌkɛɹəzˈmætək/, destabilize /diːˈsteɪbɪlaɪz/
Zo oefen je met deze video
- Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
- Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
- Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als heartbreak, emotion, mend.
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.