Shadowing Practice: How To Get Over Rejection - Learn English Speaking with Video
Les maken...
1
Being dropped. It will happen to us all, at some point.
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So negotiating the pain with a measure of reason belongs to the art of living.
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A number of tips suggest themselves.
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Firstly... don't attempt to minimize what's happened.
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Being 'brave' has no place here.
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Allow your sadness so much room, so much time, so many melancholic songs, hot baths and indulgent meals you eventually bore yourself back into an appetite for life.
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Secondly... believe them when they said it.
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Don’t imagine that their past sweetness and kind words provides any covert indications of future commitment.
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Kill any remaining hope yourself, if they didn’t quite have the courage to do so themselves.
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Don’t imagine that anyone can love on command.
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The capacity to feel attracted lies outside the will.
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It isn’t a question of them not trying hard enough.
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Remove morality from it: they were not being ‘bad’ for not loving, and nor were you ‘good’ for wanting them.
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You were both on search for pleasure that took you down different and conflicting routes.
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Our conscious minds ride like tiny boats on the swells of unconscious psychoanalytic and biological seas.
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So don’t turn this into a morality tale.
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They acted weirdly around the break up not because they were bad or – indeed – unsure.
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They just felt terribly guilty... because they're nice.
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Which doesn’t, though, mean that they want you.
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Many of us are predisposed to think especially well of people who don’t want us.
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It feeds into our reserves of self-hatred.
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But this isn’t romanticism, it’s an illness.
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The true challenge is to stop being so revolted by people who do in fact want us and so admiring of those who don’t.
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Think back to when you rejected people: you didn’t hate them or regret them.
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The chief emotions were embarrassment and pity.
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Don’t connect up the rejection with everything you fear and hate about being you.
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Don’t accuse them of cowardice.
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Don’t exaggerate their qualities.
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Don't insist on their uniqueness.
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Don't offer them sex in the hope of changing their mind.
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Don't imagine that people can fall back in love with someone out of pity or of guilt.
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And don't defensively maintain that they had a ‘fear of intimacy’.
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Just try to laugh. And have a few rounds of casual sex, if that helps.
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But above all, don’t keep thinking of the end of this relationship as tragically sad.
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The only good relationship, the only relationship worth mourning, would be one to which two people desperately wanted to belong.
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And this wasn’t – in the end – despite all the promising signs – that kind of relationship... at all.
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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les
Deze video bevat 36 zinnen en 438 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 3:01. De spreker praat in een gelijkmatig tempo van ongeveer 146 woorden per minuut, prettig om te shadowen. Slechts 81% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden, dus de woordenschat is pittig.
Belangrijke woorden in deze video
15 woorden uit de video die het leren waard zijn, met uitspraak en betekenis:
| Woord | Uitspraak | Betekenis |
|---|---|---|
| belong werkwoord | /bɪˈlɒŋ/ | thuishoren, horen |
| pity zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈpɪt.i/ | medelijden, deernis |
| morality zelfstandig naamwoord | /məˈɹælɪti/ | moraal |
| meal zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈmiːl/ | maaltijd |
| bath zelfstandig naamwoord | /bɑːθ/ | bad, badkuip |
| commitment zelfstandig naamwoord | /kəˈmɪtmənt/ | verbintenis, verplichting |
| illness zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈɪl.nəs/ | ziekte, aandoening |
| connect werkwoord | /kəˈnɛkt/ | verbinden |
| regret werkwoord | /ɹɪˈɡɹɛt/ | betreuren, spijten |
| brave bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /bɹeɪv/ | moedig |
| courage zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈkʌ.ɹɪd͡ʒ/ | moed, dapperheid |
| biological bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˌbaɪ.əˈlɑ.d͡ʒɪ.kəl/ | biologisch, biologische |
| tale zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈteɪl/ | vertelsel, verhaaltje |
| attract werkwoord | /əˈtɹækt/ | aantrekken |
| emotion zelfstandig naamwoord | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | emotie |
Grammatica in deze video
De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:
| Structuur | In de video |
|---|---|
| Lijdende vorm be + voltooid deelwoord — het gaat om wat er gebeurt, niet om wie het doet | Being dropped · are predisposed |
| Betrekkelijke bijzinnen who / which + zin — extra informatie over een persoon of ding | people who don · people who do |
Uitspraak om op te letten
De spreker gebruikt 21 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals don't, didn't, isn't. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.
- De klanken “sh” en “zh”: casual /ˈkæʒ(u)əl/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, conscious /ˈkɑn.ʃəs/, indication /ɪndɪˈkeɪʃən/, negotiate /nəˈɡəʊ.ʃi.eɪt/
- Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: morality /məˈɹælɪti/, biological /ˌbaɪ.əˈlɑ.d͡ʒɪ.kəl/, indication /ɪndɪˈkeɪʃən/, negotiate /nəˈɡəʊ.ʃi.eɪt/, desperately /ˈdɛs.p(ə.)ɹət.li/
Zo oefen je met deze video
- Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
- Spreek zin voor zin na op normale snelheid en herhaal elke zin tot je ritme gelijk is aan dat van de spreker.
- Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als belong, pity, morality.
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.