Shadowing Practice: How To Stop Obsessing Over Someone - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Have you ever found yourself trapped in a cycle of relentless thoughts about someone?
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Maybe it's an ex who broke your heart, or a crush who doesn't reciprocate your feelings.
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Whatever the case, obsessing over someone can be mentally exhausting and emotionally draining.
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But fear not, because there are ways to untangle yourself from this mental web and regain your peace of mind.
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Here are some psychology-backed strategies on how to stop obsessing over someone.
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Recognize the illusion Obsession happens when we project our desires onto someone who's unavailable and over-idealize them.
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Realistically, you probably know only about 10% of who that person truly is, and then you fill in the rest,
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and it's that 90% that you're actually obsessed with.
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You long for someone that doesn't exist.
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the idea potential and the fantasy of what could be
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and perhaps you don't even really want them perhaps you simply
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want them to want you to break free from this illusion reflect on what underlying needs
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or insecurities might be driving your obsession are you seeking validation acceptance
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or a sense of belonging through your fixation on this person by gaining insight into the deeper motivations behind your behavior.
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You can address these needs in healthier ways, like through self-validation, building strong relationships with friends and family,
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or seeking professional therapy.
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Embrace reality.
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Ever caught yourself lost in a whirlwind of thoughts about that special someone?
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replaying conversations, or imagining future scenarios, mindfulness can be a powerful antidote to obsessive thinking.
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Take some time each day to practice mindfulness meditation or activities that can help you focus on being present in the moment,
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like painting, journaling, running, dancing, or playing music.
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When intrusive thoughts about the person pop up,
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acknowledge them without judgment and gently guide your attention back to the present.
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By grounding yourself in the here and now,
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you can disentangle from obsessive thoughts and find peace within yourself. Do an emotional detox.
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When you're obsessed with someone, you probably have compulsive behaviors that reinforce and intensify the cycle of obsession.
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For example, stalking them on social media, rereading your conversations, and replaying imagined scenarios in your head.
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Just as you cleanse your body with a detox, it's essential to detoxify your mind from thoughts and emotions that no longer serve you.
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Start by setting boundaries for yourself.
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Unfollow them on social media.
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Stop bringing them up in conversations and limit your interactions with them.
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Create some distance to help you heal and find better things to fill your life with, like learning a new skill, focusing on your friends and family,
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or pursuing something you're passionate about.
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Cultivate radical self-love.
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When we harbor doubts about our worthiness or desirability, we may seek validation and fulfillment externally,
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fixating on others to fill the void within ourselves.
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But once we cultivate more love, acceptance, and compassion towards ourselves,
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we begin to recognize that our worthiness does not hinge on the approval or affection of others.
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Radical self-love is a powerful antidote to obsession, as it shifts our focus inward towards nurturing our own happiness and well-being.
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So create a self-care routine to practice daily.
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Practice positive affirmations or self-love and self-worth, and engage in more activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
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Let go of attachment.
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Obsessive thoughts often arise from a resistance to accepting reality as it is.
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Practice the art of detachment by letting go of the need to control outcomes
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or force closure with the person you're obsessing over.
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Accept that you may never get all the answers or closure you desire and focus instead on finding peace within yourself.
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Embrace uncertainty as a natural part of life and trust that you have the strength to navigate whatever comes your way.
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Seek support.
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Don't hesitate to lean on your support system during this time, whether it's friends, family, or a therapist.
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Having someone to talk to can provide valuable insight and perspective.
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Their support, or even just their presence, can remind you that you don't have to overcome this struggle alone,
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and they can be a safe space for you to explore your feelings and discover healthier ways of relating to others.
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So, did you learn anything valuable from this video?
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Do you have any tips of your own on how to overcome an obsession?
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Share your insights in the comments down below.
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Subscribe to our channel for more insightful content on personal growth and psychology, like how to detach yourself from someone you love.
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Don't forget to like and share this video before you go.
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Thanks for watching.

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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les

Deze spreekles op niveau B2 is gebaseerd op de video “How To Stop Obsessing Over Someone”. Deze woorden komen het vaakst terug: thoughts, self, obsession, practice, obsessing. Deze video bevat 58 zinnen en 769 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 5:28. De spreker praat in een gelijkmatig tempo van ongeveer 141 woorden per minuut, prettig om te shadowen. Slechts 80% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden, dus de woordenschat is pittig.

Belangrijke woorden in deze video

De 15 moeilijkste woorden uit de video, met uitspraak en betekenis:

WoordUitspraakBetekenis
obsess werkwoord/əbˈsɛs/obsederen
obsession zelfstandig naamwoord/əbˈsɛʃən/obsessie, bezetenheid
obsessive bijvoeglijk naamwoord/əbˈsɛs.ɪv/obsederend
validation zelfstandig naamwoord/ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/validering
insight zelfstandig naamwoord/ˈɪnsaɪ̯t/inzicht
antidote zelfstandig naamwoord/ˈæn.tɪ.doʊt/tegengif
cultivate werkwoord/ˈkʌltɪveɪt/telen, verbouwen
detox zelfstandig naamwoord/ˈdiːtɒks/ontwenningskuur
fulfilment zelfstandig naamwoord/fʊlˈfɪl.mənt/vervulling
illusion zelfstandig naamwoord/ɪˈl(j)uːʒ(ə)n/illusie
closure zelfstandig naamwoord/ˈkloʊ.ʒɚ/beëindiging, afsluiting
embrace werkwoord/ɛmˈbɹes/omarmen, omhelzen
acceptance zelfstandig naamwoord/əkˈsɛp.təns/acceptatie
scenario zelfstandig naamwoord/sɪˈnɛəɹioʊ/scenario
cleanse werkwoord/klɛnz/reinigen, schoonmaken

Phrasal verbs die je zult horen

WoordBetekenis
pop up werkwoordopduiken, te voorschijn komen

Uitspraak om op te letten

De spreker gebruikt 10 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals don't, you're, doesn't. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.

  • De “th”-klanken: worthiness /ˈwɜː(ɹ)ðɪnəs/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/
  • De klanken “sh” en “zh”: obsession /əbˈsɛʃən/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, illusion /ɪˈl(j)uːʒ(ə)n/, closure /ˈkloʊ.ʒɚ/, affirmation /æfɝˈmeɪʃn/
  • Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, disentangle [ˌdɪsɪnˈtæŋɡəɫ], intensify /ɪnˈtɛnsɪfaɪ/, reciprocate /ɹɪˈsɪpɹəˌkeɪt/, unavailable /ˌʌnəˈveɪləbəl/

Klanken die Nederlandstaligen lastig vinden:

  • Stemhebbende eindmedeklinker — /b/, /d/, /g/, /z/, /v/ niet verscherpen: obsessive /əbˈsɛs.ɪv/, cleanse /klɛnz/, compulsive /kəmˈpʌlsɪv/, idealize /aɪˈdɪəlaɪz/, intrusive /ɪnˈtɹuːsɪv/
  • /æ/ — opener dan de Nederlandse “e”: validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, antidote /ˈæn.tɪ.doʊt/, affirmation /æfɝˈmeɪʃn/, detach /dɪˈtæt͡ʃ/, detachment /dɪˈtæt͡ʃmənt/
  • /g/ — een harde plofklank, geen Nederlandse “g”: disentangle [ˌdɪsɪnˈtæŋɡəɫ], untangle /ʌnˈtæŋ.ɡəl/, navigate /ˈnæv.ɪ.ɡeɪt/, regain /ɹiːˈɡeɪn/, exhaust /ɪɡˈzɔst/

Zo oefen je met deze video

  1. Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
  2. Spreek zin voor zin na op normale snelheid en herhaal elke zin tot je ritme gelijk is aan dat van de spreker.
  3. Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als obsess, obsession, obsessive.

Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?

Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.

Shadowing-techniek: lees de volledige stap-voor-stap-gids →