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Have you ever found yourself trapped in a cycle of relentless thoughts about someone?
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Maybe it's an ex who broke your heart, or a crush who doesn't reciprocate your feelings.
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Whatever the case, obsessing over someone can be mentally exhausting and emotionally draining.
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But fear not, because there are ways to untangle yourself from this mental web and regain your peace of mind.
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Here are some psychology-backed strategies on how to stop obsessing over someone.
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Recognize the illusion Obsession happens when we project our desires onto someone who's unavailable and over-idealize them.
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Realistically, you probably know only about 10% of who that person truly is, and then you fill in the rest,
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and it's that 90% that you're actually obsessed with.
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You long for someone that doesn't exist.
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the idea potential and the fantasy of what could be
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and perhaps you don't even really want them perhaps you simply
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want them to want you to break free from this illusion reflect on what underlying needs
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or insecurities might be driving your obsession are you seeking validation acceptance
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or a sense of belonging through your fixation on this person by gaining insight into the deeper motivations behind your behavior.
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You can address these needs in healthier ways, like through self-validation, building strong relationships with friends and family,
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or seeking professional therapy.
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Embrace reality.
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Ever caught yourself lost in a whirlwind of thoughts about that special someone?
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replaying conversations, or imagining future scenarios, mindfulness can be a powerful antidote to obsessive thinking.
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Take some time each day to practice mindfulness meditation or activities that can help you focus on being present in the moment,
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like painting, journaling, running, dancing, or playing music.
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When intrusive thoughts about the person pop up,
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acknowledge them without judgment and gently guide your attention back to the present.
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By grounding yourself in the here and now,
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you can disentangle from obsessive thoughts and find peace within yourself. Do an emotional detox.
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When you're obsessed with someone, you probably have compulsive behaviors that reinforce and intensify the cycle of obsession.
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For example, stalking them on social media, rereading your conversations, and replaying imagined scenarios in your head.
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Just as you cleanse your body with a detox, it's essential to detoxify your mind from thoughts and emotions that no longer serve you.
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Start by setting boundaries for yourself.
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Unfollow them on social media.
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Stop bringing them up in conversations and limit your interactions with them.
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Create some distance to help you heal and find better things to fill your life with, like learning a new skill, focusing on your friends and family,
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or pursuing something you're passionate about.
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Cultivate radical self-love.
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When we harbor doubts about our worthiness or desirability, we may seek validation and fulfillment externally,
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fixating on others to fill the void within ourselves.
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But once we cultivate more love, acceptance, and compassion towards ourselves,
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we begin to recognize that our worthiness does not hinge on the approval or affection of others.
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Radical self-love is a powerful antidote to obsession, as it shifts our focus inward towards nurturing our own happiness and well-being.
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So create a self-care routine to practice daily.
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Practice positive affirmations or self-love and self-worth, and engage in more activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
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Let go of attachment.
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Obsessive thoughts often arise from a resistance to accepting reality as it is.
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Practice the art of detachment by letting go of the need to control outcomes
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or force closure with the person you're obsessing over.
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Accept that you may never get all the answers or closure you desire and focus instead on finding peace within yourself.
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Embrace uncertainty as a natural part of life and trust that you have the strength to navigate whatever comes your way.
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Seek support.
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Don't hesitate to lean on your support system during this time, whether it's friends, family, or a therapist.
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Having someone to talk to can provide valuable insight and perspective.
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Their support, or even just their presence, can remind you that you don't have to overcome this struggle alone,
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and they can be a safe space for you to explore your feelings and discover healthier ways of relating to others.
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So, did you learn anything valuable from this video?
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Do you have any tips of your own on how to overcome an obsession?
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Share your insights in the comments down below.
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Subscribe to our channel for more insightful content on personal growth and psychology, like how to detach yourself from someone you love.
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Don't forget to like and share this video before you go.
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Thanks for watching.

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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione

Questa lezione di conversazione di livello B2 si basa sul video “How To Stop Obsessing Over Someone”. Le parole che ritornano più spesso: thoughts, self, obsession, practice, obsessing. Questo video contiene 58 frasi e 769 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 5:28. Chi parla mantiene un ritmo costante di circa 141 parole al minuto, comodo per lo shadowing. Solo il 80% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese, quindi il lessico è impegnativo.

Vocaboli chiave di questo video

Le 15 parole più avanzate del video, con pronuncia e significato:

ParolaPronunciaSignificato
obsess verbo/əbˈsɛs/ossessionarsi
obsession sostantivo/əbˈsɛʃən/ossessione
obsessive aggettivo/əbˈsɛs.ɪv/ossessivo
validation sostantivo/ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/validazione
insight sostantivo/ˈɪnsaɪ̯t/introspezione, approfondimento
antidote sostantivo/ˈæn.tɪ.doʊt/antidoto
cultivate verbo/ˈkʌltɪveɪt/coltivare
fulfilment sostantivo/fʊlˈfɪl.mənt/adempimento, compimento
closure sostantivo/ˈkloʊ.ʒɚ/chiusura, termine
embrace verbo/ɛmˈbɹes/abbracciare
acceptance sostantivo/əkˈsɛp.təns/accettazione
scenario sostantivo/sɪˈnɛəɹioʊ/scenario, panorama
affirmation sostantivo/æfɝˈmeɪʃn/affermazione
cleanse verbo/klɛnz/ripulire, pulire
detachment sostantivo/dɪˈtæt͡ʃmənt/distacco

I phrasal verb che sentirai

ParolaSignificato
pop up verbospuntare, saltare fuori

Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione

Chi parla usa 10 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come don't, you're, doesn't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.

  • I suoni “th”: worthiness /ˈwɜː(ɹ)ðɪnəs/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/
  • I suoni “sh” e “zh”: obsession /əbˈsɛʃən/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, illusion /ɪˈl(j)uːʒ(ə)n/, closure /ˈkloʊ.ʒɚ/, affirmation /æfɝˈmeɪʃn/
  • Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, disentangle [ˌdɪsɪnˈtæŋɡəɫ], intensify /ɪnˈtɛnsɪfaɪ/, reciprocate /ɹɪˈsɪpɹəˌkeɪt/, unavailable /ˌʌnəˈveɪləbəl/

I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:

  • /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: whirlwind /ˈ(h)wɝlwɪnd/, hesitate /ˈhɛz.ə.teɪt/, heal /ˈhiːl/, harbor /ˈhɑːbə/
  • Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: obsess /əbˈsɛs/, obsessive /əbˈsɛs.ɪv/, insight /ˈɪnsaɪ̯t/, antidote /ˈæn.tɪ.doʊt/, cultivate /ˈkʌltɪveɪt/
  • /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, antidote /ˈæn.tɪ.doʊt/, affirmation /æfɝˈmeɪʃn/, detach /dɪˈtæt͡ʃ/, detachment /dɪˈtæt͡ʃmənt/

Come esercitarsi con questo video

  1. Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
  2. Fai shadowing frase per frase a velocità normale, ripetendo ognuna finché il tuo ritmo coincide con quello di chi parla.
  3. Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come obsess, obsession, obsessive.

Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?

Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.

Tecnica dello shadowing: leggi la guida completa passo dopo passo →