Shadowing Practice: How to get over heartbreak FAST - Learn English Speaking with Video

If you're crying over losing a partner right now, exiting a relationship, I want you to take pen and paper.

I want you to write down.

in one section all the good things that he's done for you.

Did he say nice words?

Was he loyal?

Are you flowers?

Whatever.

Like all the good things and then the bad things, okay?

Then I want you to look at that paper and if the bad column is way longer than the good one, I want you to fold the paper like this.

Fold the paper and then I want you to start drying your tears.

Okay.

Then I want you to go to the bathroom and I want you to take a deep look in the mirror.

And I want you to ask yourself, why am I crying over losing a problem?

Because honey, you did not have a partner.

You had a problem.

Hi guys, my name is Ziz and welcome back to my channel.

In this video I will show you how to get over heartbreak very fast

because honestly in my life I've always gotten over things very fast, especially in a relationship.

I've done some things that I feel like really helped me and I hope it can help you too.

First thing I want you to ask yourself is was the relationship genuinely good?

I We have this psychological phenomenon.

It's called rosy retrospection.

So what our brain basically does in any situation that involves loss, like loss of a friendship, loss of a job, loss of a partner,

what your brain is going to do is remember the more positive memories

because it's like a coping mechanism for the brain to just make you feel better.

Now you have to genuinely be honest Let me actually reflect on the relationship.

What I for example did with my recent ex right now, when I just found out about the cheating, I was like for two days in very much shock because this person portrayed themselves as someone that they weren't.

So now I have to question who did I sleep next to for the past?

year you know like who is this person actually so then

when i started really reflecting on the relationship i was like it Wasn't that good.

I felt suffocated.

I had all these things and I'm like the relationship wasn't good.

So I I honestly got what I wanted and I remember the first time that I saw him again was in London.

That was like three, four weeks after this all had happened

and we sat down and we had a conversation and I looked at him and I said, you know, I'm so grateful that you did this

because you allowed me to step out of this relationship because I'm the kind of person, I am very patient with a partner and I don't like to date around.

I will stick to one partner and even if like things happen where

it's not that bad so then i stay after only a shocking thing happened or something where i'm like, oh that i can definitely not accept, i feel like i give myself permission to leave

because otherwise i constantly feel bad for the person i feel like i'm abandoning them, you know? ask yourself, like was the relationship genuinely good? or are you literally like talking yourself into thinking

that it was genuinely good? because if it was that good, why did it end? like what was the reason that it ended?

Another thing you should ask yourself is, are you heartbroken or is your ego hurt?

So when our ego is hurt, we normally look at our self -worth, okay?

We feel like we weren't worthy enough or

that person didn't view us as highly as we thought they would or love us as much.

But I can honestly tell you, honey, listen to me, it was not about you.

If a person did something bad to you or if they cheated on you or did whatever,

have done that that is their character.

and you shouldn't take their character and put it on yourself

and be like this defines me no it doesn't define you like if you were genuinely good with them, if you were honest, if you were loyal and they did you like

that then there's nothing you could have done you could have like literally controlled them more, did this more, did that more, whatever they would have still done that.

that is in their character you have to think like oh my god someone

that wants to hurt someone in

that kind of way how do they think you have to be very very selfish first of all

and you have to be so inconsiderate of your partner to do

that so they just didn't consider you and they won't consider the next person

that is the pattern that is who they are like for example

when my dad cheated on my mom for like the 7 000 time

but then this time he actually got married to another woman and he

be with you and my mom was on the phone and she told him listen I do not feel...

any sadness that you left because you are a problem and you are a problem that has left.

And she said, "I feel bad for your new wife because you did not leave with a new personality.

You left with the same personality that you have." And guess what guys, my oldest brother, he's the only one that still talks to my dad and he's around him,

he told us, "Dad has like two daughters now and a son." to young daughters.

He told us the way he abuses this woman is really not normal.

And these little daughters of that new wife go to my dad and they say, why do you do this to our mom?

And I'm literally thinking to myself, you're out here traumatizing every single child.

Like, how is this normal?

This is not normal.

But look, he never changed.

He never changed.

He just switched the woman, but his character stayed the same.

Also as you guys know, like I said in the last video, I have joined BetterHelp myself.

I already had two sessions with my therapist from BetterHelp

and she actually encouraged me to start journaling again

and she told me to write down what did this situation make me feel.

I'm not sure.

what is it really about and

when i was journaling down those emotions i came to the conclusion that this situation made me feel abandoned

And coming from an abandoned childhood, this was very triggering for me because the person that you trust, the person that you sleep with,

you never expect them to abandon you.

Especially if they didn't give you any signs that they would abandon you.

So I really found a lot of hope in talking to my therapist

and that is why this video is also sponsored by Better Health.

If you want to join therapy but you don't know where to start

or you don't know where to begin to find a therapist, You just don't have the energy for it.

You can just look up BetterHelp and start with finding a therapist.

It is also way cheaper than other therapy options that you have out there.

You also get a wide selection of available therapists.

They are licensed, they are experienced, and they are from a lot of different backgrounds and you can choose which one is the right fit for you.

Now, if you find that the one that you have matched with is not the right fit, BetterHelp, allows you to switch therapists with no additional charge.

This would not happen in real life.

So if you think that you might benefit from therapy, then please click the link in the description down below

or visit betterhelp .com slash wizard list to get 10 % off your first month at BetterHelp.

Another thing is losing a bad person is never a loss.

You got protected.

God gave you the biggest protection even if it takes 10 years, even if it takes 20 years, at the end of the day,

when you have that switch in your head and you click and you say, you know what, this is what I won't accept anymore

and you walk away or you say like this is the last time you've treated me like that and you walk away.

100

i applaud you and honestly god bless you with opening your eyes because

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a bad person is going to ruin you and

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when you are in that relationship you cannot see

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that for yourself you cannot see the future ahead

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because you're kind of confused in an emotional abusive situation as well you don't know what's really going on

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and you start to kind of become like a zombie but i promise you once you're out of that

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And once you look back, clear eyes, you're like, What the fuck was I in?

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What was I doing?

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You see when you're around people that just energetically constantly want to take from you, you start to lose yourself.

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And you will see these people, they become more successful, they have this, they have that, but you start to lose your purpose, you don't feel like yourself anymore, you don't even look like yourself anymore.

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And then you think like, what is going on?

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But then you step out of that relationship all of a sudden your glow is back, your skin is healing, you look way better, you feel better, you have motivation.

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you were not the problem then i promise you you were

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not the problem don't think like oh my god i should go back now

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because maybe it will get better honey if it didn't get better by now it will not get better Believe me,

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I've been around addicts, I have been around people that had certain ways about them that never ever wanted to change,

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and nothing what I did to try to help them or try to make them change.

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ever did anything.

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Never.

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If someone doesn't want to change themselves and if they don't take that necessary step to change

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you will not see a new person.

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they'll probably...

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die like that.

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Truly.

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Another thing is allow the emotions to come over you, allow these emotions to purge and process.

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Reflect on the situation and ask yourself, okay, Why do I feel like this right now?

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You feel immense sadness.

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Because yeah, it's normal.

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You just lost a person that you were with every day probably, you're texting them every day, like that is hard loss, it's almost like someone died,

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someone cheated on you, it's like figuring out that that person never existed, so now you're questioning your own reality because they did something.

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it's really sad.

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So what I would suggest then is talk to a friend, talk to a therapist, and talk it over and over and over again.

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God bless my sister Sabina, I've talked to her about the same situation 10 ,000 times.

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Like, I was over and over again talking to her about it because I could not understand the shock.

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I did not see this coming.

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But that really helped me to get this out of my system and I come to a point where I was like, okay, I get it now.

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what I do next is do I allow this or do I not allow this in my life?

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also for the ones thinking like you know maybe

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if you ask the person that hurt you why they did it

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that will make you feel better well honestly i did that

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so i've talked to my ex so many times we've had

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so many conversations over

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and over again i said why what was the reason every time he gives me a reason

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but that did not make me less angry That did not help.

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That did not make me want to get back with him or love him.

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No. From the minute I found this out, the love was Gone.

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gone.

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Anything further than this is pure because the child sees someone for who they are and the mask has dropped

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you cannot unsee that.

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Now it's time to focus on yourself.

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I love going through a breakup personally, because I always have the biggest glow up afterwards.

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And any girl that I see, whenever they go through a breakup, they come out as a baddie.

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So I'm like, Okay, so just focus on yourself right now.

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Like if you want to go to the gym and do whatever you want to do, do that.

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If you want to do more self -care or work on yourself or whatever, do that.

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If you just want to focus on regulating your nervous system, on finding new ways to relax, whatever makes you feel good.

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do that and don't feel bad for spending money on that

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or investing in yourself no honey this is the time

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that you should be extra extra nice to yourself

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and this is also the time that you should surround yourself with people

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that truly love you love shouldn't only come from a partner we shouldn't only talk about romantic love

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because honestly romantic love is not the biggest thing in the world a lot of this romantic love

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that people talk about is like in the beginning it's so much

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into you love that person as a family member or even as friends.

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That's how you like go on and you stay with them.

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But for example, if you have love from your animals, if you have love from your friends, you have love from your siblings, really be around these people and talk to them.

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I literally spent so much time with my family, my brothers, my mom, and I'm

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so grateful to have such a good support system around me

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because these people make me feel so good about myself yourself with people that uplift you,

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that want to see you do good and if you don't have those people in your life or in your family, go out and find them.

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Also understand that you are not alone in this.

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The reason that I share these things online and share my whole journey is because I really want people to

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truly see what i'm going through and i know

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that a lot of things i maybe should keep for myself

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like my mom tells me liz why did you say this

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liz why did you say this like don't say these things but then i remember like what if someone

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genuinely thinks like me or what if someone is exactly in a situation like me?

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That can help them.

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Me talking about it can help them and can make them feel related and less lonely.

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So if I can make one person feel less lonely, even though I'm literally embarrassing myself a little bit, then it's my whole purpose, that's why I do this.

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I think that's beautiful.

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If someone can look at my situation and learn from it and not repeat the same mistakes that I make, then that's also very beautiful.

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I think it's very vulnerable to come online and share all these things for millions of people.

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And then obviously you allow yourself to be judged, which I'm fine with that.

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Everyone is allowed to have their opinion, they don't need to agree with me.

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Because I don't agree with some things that I've done myself.

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So that's normal and that's human.

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There's so many more people that are maybe afraid to speak up about these things.

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But I think realizing that your situation is not unique

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and other people have gone through that and they have gone through that whole process will make you feel a lot better.

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Also, they've gone through it and they've came out of it really good, okay?

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so don't worry start adapting the mindset that everything happens in the most divine way.

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i have

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always believed this i have always believed that god is guiding my life

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and whatever happens needs to happen whoever i lose needs to

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go i also don't go into relationships thinking like oh my god this is gonna be forever

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or the all of this forever i don't believe in forever i think we all die and then we go home.

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I just believe that whatever is happening in my life is meant to happen and it's happening for my highest good.

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Start adapting that mindset.

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Whenever something happens to you, don't say "God, why did you do this to me?" Ask yourself "What is this teaching me?"

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What can I learn from this?

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And how is God allowing me to grow right now?

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I really believe that just because I have such a positive outlook on life

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and I really put a lot of faith in God, that my life has always been miraculously always very beautiful.

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I'm very grateful for that, you know, even though I had a bad childhood.

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But even coming out of that, if I look back, I'm like,

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whoa, this is God's work better.

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And you have to also start believing that for yourself.

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When something bad happens, you have to be like, oh my god, I'm so excited.

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Because now so many good things are going to happen for you.

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And when you receive those blessings, have immense impact gratitude and last but not least

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you will rise regardless no matter what happens to you no

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matter who lives your life no matter who bullies you no matter whoever says whatever about you you will rise

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and every person that has done you badly will have to watch you rise

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because god will put you right back together in front of the people

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that broke you i not promise you that i have not one time seen people that have been done dirty,

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that had good intentions or that just really were good to a person, that did not rise after that.

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You will rise again and again.

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This is not the first time something bad has happened.

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This will not be the last time that something bad has happened.

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But at the end of the day, when you still have yourself that is when you have won.

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At the end of the day, when you come home and you look in the mirror and you still hold your head high, that is when you have won.

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No matter what happens, everyone will always have to watch you Rise.

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And that will be your revenge.

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Just creating a better life for yourself, leveling yourself up is the biggest revenge.

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You don't need to do them like they did you.

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Because going down to their level...

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Why go down?

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It's only up from here, honey.

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Anyways guys, I hope this video helped someone and you enjoyed this video.

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I love you guys so much and thank you so much for the love.

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Thank you so much for the support.

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You guys are so so nice to me and

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so sweet to me and the literally the love

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that I've received from you guys is another reason why I feel so good.

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I feel so happy and thank God that my stress and everything is not that bad.

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Context & Background

In the video titled "How to get over heartbreak FAST," the speaker, Ziz, shares personal insights and practical advice on navigating the emotional turmoil following a breakup. She emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, encouraging viewers to distinguish between genuine feelings and psychological mechanisms that may cloud their judgment. The guidance offered aims to help individuals assess their past relationships critically, enabling them to move forward positively and heal from their heartbreak efficiently.

Top 5 Phrases for Daily Communication

“Why am I crying over losing a problem?” - This phrase challenges the viewer to reconsider the nature of their relationship.
“Was the relationship genuinely good?” - A prompt that encourages honest reflection on the quality of past relationships.
“Are you heartbroken or is your ego hurt?” - This helps differentiate between emotional pain and self-esteem issues.
“You should not take their character and put it on yourself.” - A reminder of self-worth amidst personal turmoil.
“Reflect on the relationship honestly.” - An encouragement to evaluate the partnership with clarity.

Step-by-step Shadowing Guide

Shadowing is an effective technique to improve English pronunciation and speaking skills. Here’s a structured guide to shadow speak based on the video’s content:

Watch the Video: Start by watching Ziz's video without captions. Focus on her tone, pronunciation, and body language.
Listen Closely: Play specific segments of the video, pausing after each phrase. Pay attention to how she articulates key phrases designed to provoke thought about relationships.
Repeat After Her: Use the shadowing technique. Speak aloud immediately after Ziz finishes a sentence. This practice will help you improve English pronunciation.
Write it Down: Jot down phrases that resonate with you. This will reinforce your learning and improve retention.
Record Yourself: Use a voice recorder to capture your pronunciation as you shadow Ziz. Compare how you sound with the original. This feedback is crucial for your growth.
Engage in Discussion: Share insights from the video with friends or in language exchange groups. Discussing emotional topics enhances vocabulary use in context.

Utilizing these steps not only aids in understanding complex emotional discussions but also provides a valuable IELTS speaking practice opportunity. Incorporate shadowing into your regular learning routine for effective results. Visit a shadowing site to access resources tailored for English learners aiming to refine their speaking skills.

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	I've always gotten · I've done · have done
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	is hurt · is also sponsored · are licensed

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

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Context & Background

Top 5 Phrases for Daily Communication

Step-by-step Shadowing Guide

Grammar in this video

What is the Shadowing Technique?