Shadowing Practice: Luke Chiang on Reframing His Past Relationships - Learn English Speaking with Video
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1
Be real with me.
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Every ex carries a version of you that nobody else will ever know.
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Why?
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I just think that we are such fluid people.
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Our personalities, our world views, our goals are constantly changing and I think
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that who you are to each of your past lovers is such a specific combination of those things.
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in a specific point of time that is never going to be the same again.
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And I think because of that, it kind of immortalizes what you had.
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And it makes it so that even if things don't work out, there's something that you can hold on to that's exclusive to you for the rest of time.
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Can you give me an example?
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Yeah, I think that for me in my first relationship, I used to be a very religious person.
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And that sort of dictated the way I live my life, the way I see the world, my goals.
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And now I'm not.
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But my first ex will always have that version of me in her life.
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And I think that it's beautiful because like nobody else is ever going to have that, whether it's better or worse or more mature or less wise, like it's...
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hers and it's hers alone.
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When you go back and talk to these people, they will only remember you as the person that you were when you dated them.
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Yeah.
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So for any positive or negative growth, when you talk to them again, you can kind of You can almost...
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see a version of yourself of who you were through somebody else's eyes.
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Yeah.
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I agree.
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What does that look like for you?
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I met my first ex a few years removed from our relationship
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and I could clearly see
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that what she wanted out of life was completely different than what she wanted when I dated her.
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And on one hand, obviously it's like a bit jarring because it's not what you're used to.
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But on the other hand, it's cool because for me, like I got to have that version of her.
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And like we've been saying, like nobody else is ever going to experience that.
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And Even though I've fully moved on and she's fully moved on,
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I think that you can carry pieces of each other while still recognizing that like that is not who they are anymore.
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And in that sense, it's like, it's just special.
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Like, it's not something that is ever going to change.
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These are the people who have made you who you are, right?
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Like I feel like we're almost a collection of all of our past lovers in the sense of like, So much of who we are as people are created by the people we did in the past.
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We are human mosaics of the people who are closest to us.
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And I think you can trace back
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all of the people you've dated and how they've changed you into the person you are today.
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I also like that mentality a lot because, at least among my peers, I see a lot of people fall into this trap of like, That didn't work out.
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That was such a waste.
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On to the next.
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but seeing yourself as a product of everybody that you've been with even though it's maybe not like
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the most complicated or like crazy concept like it is true and it's beautiful.
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More importantly, I feel like it's accurate.
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I feel like people have a tendency of trashing on their exes by.. labeling them as toxic, And When you label someone as toxic, you're missing out on the opportunity for growth.
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Because once you label someone, with like a negative attribute, You...
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subconsciously you're saying like, you didn't do anything wrong and they are the problem.
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And therefore there's no learning opportunity.
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But the learning opportunity comes when you acknowledge someone's humanity and acknowledge that Everyone is a vehicle for growth.
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Every interaction and every experience, regardless of if it was positive or negative, is an experience of growth.
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Yeah, I also think that
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You reminded me of how I felt with my first ex and how angry I was and resentful I was of like,
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how could she say things like I miss you and say things that felt like she didn't mean them, like, two weeks later when she broke up with me.
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And later on, Like everything, it's all hindsight.
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And like now I can look at it and see like, oh, she just didn't know what she wanted.
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And she was genuinely just confused.
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But at the time, it's easy for me to fall into the labels that you were talking about.
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Like, oh, she's she just used me like she's just piece of trash, but.
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So learning to be human.
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I think that's a beautiful part about being human.
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I think the further away, that you remove yourself from a situation, the less personal you make it,
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the more you can acknowledge someone's humanity and you can acknowledge that these things that feel so personal really aren't and
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And everyone's really just trying their best.
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I think the problem is when you identify too closely with your emotions, you don't allow yourself to grow and you don't allow yourself to acknowledge
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that that person's human because you're casting this label on them and And, your.. subconsciously saying
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They are bad and I am good.
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And so All right, sorry, because what you're really saying is they are bad and I am good.
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or because they wronged me.
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And what that does is
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It subconsciously tells you that you did nothing wrong and you have no reason to reflect on the situation.
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I do think there are some cases where you just get done completely dirty.
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And it's hard to see the outcome of that.
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Honestly, even in those cases, I And I know it's hard to say this, I genuinely believe that if you understood every crevice of the other person's experience that did you wrong,
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I think you could not be mad at them.
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I think that people don't exist in a vacuum and that like we're all products of our environment.
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And at the end of the day, Most of us are just doing things because we're insecure.
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And I think that goes for most bad things And that's why I say like nothing's really personal.
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Right.
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were just all these like kind of like anxious, status -seeking, power -hungry human beings, and we're all doing our little thing.
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And we hurt people.
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And we don't want to, but we do.
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Yeah, I like that a lot.
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And I think tying it back to everything we talked about earlier, There's also beauty in recognizing that that version of that person that hurt you as flawed as they were
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that is still your version of them forever to keep?
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and Whether it's something that you want to keep thinking about or don't want to, like it's up to you.
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But I think that It's unique.
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and nobody's ever going to take away the fact that that person was exclusive to you.
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And ideally they're a better person now and they've learned and fixed it.
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but You know, I just think that everything that you're talking about, about how we're all just trying to be human really applies here.
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And viewing your past lovers with the same lens is really valuable too.
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What advice do you have for people that are dating?
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To anybody who's exiting a relationship?
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I would say as much as it's necessary to fully feel negative emotions, Don't allow yourself to...
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sink into them and allow that to completely tarnish your view of whoever it was.
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I just think that There's beauty in recognizing that in spite of any wrongdoing,
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somebody did to you that flawed version of them was still yours alone?
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and In that sense, just remembering that everybody's human.
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That's beautiful.
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Thank you so much.
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What was your name?
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Thank you.
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Preston, nice to meet you.
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Nice to meet you.
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Awesome.
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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les
Deze spreekles op niveau B2 is gebaseerd op de video “Luke Chiang on Reframing His Past Relationships”. Deze video bevat 104 zinnen en 1352 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 6:51. De spreker praat snel, ongeveer 197 woorden per minuut, dus reken op verbonden en ingeslikte klanken. 88% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden, dus de woordenschat is goed te volgen.
Belangrijke woorden in deze video
De 15 moeilijkste woorden uit de video, met uitspraak en betekenis:
| Woord | Uitspraak | Betekenis |
|---|---|---|
| acknowledge werkwoord | /əkˈnɑ.lɪd͡ʒ/ | bekennen, erkennen |
| flawed bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /flɔːd/ | zwak, onjuist |
| emotion zelfstandig naamwoord | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | emotie |
| crevice zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈkɹɛvɪs/ | spleet |
| hindsight zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈhaɪn(d)saɪt/ | terugblik |
| mosaic zelfstandig naamwoord | /moʊˈzeɪ.ɪk/ | mozaïek |
| insecure bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ɪnsəˈkjʊɹ/ | onbeveiligd |
| mentality zelfstandig naamwoord | /mɛnˈtæləti/ | mentaliteit |
| attribute zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈæt.ɹɪˌbjut/ | attribuut, eigenschap |
| jar zelfstandig naamwoord | /d͡ʒɑː/ | kruik, urn |
| tendency zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈtɛn.dən.si/ | neiging |
| spite zelfstandig naamwoord | /spaɪt/ | boosaardigheid, wrok |
| vacuum zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈvæ.kjuːm/ | vacuüm |
| anxious bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˈæŋkʃəs/ | bezorgd |
| peer zelfstandig naamwoord | /pɪɹ/ | gelijke |
Phrasal verbs die je zult horen
| Woord | Uitspraak | Betekenis |
|---|---|---|
| work out werkwoord | /ˌwɝk ˈaʊt/ | uitrekenen |
| go back werkwoord | teruggaan |
Zinnen om te herhalen
Korte, volledige zinnen uit de video die je in alledaagse gesprekken kunt gebruiken:
- Can you give me an example?
- What does that look like for you?
- More importantly, I feel like it's accurate.
- I think that's a beautiful part about being human.
- What advice do you have for people that are dating?
Grammatica in deze video
De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:
| Structuur | In de video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + voltooid deelwoord — iets uit het verleden dat nu nog telt | have made · you've dated · you've been |
| Betrekkelijke bijzinnen who / which + zin — extra informatie over een persoon of ding | people who have · people who are |
Uitspraak om op te letten
De spreker gebruikt 31 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals don't, you're, we're. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.
- De klanken “sh” en “zh”: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, tarnish /ˈtɑɹnɪʃ/, anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/
- Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, immortalize /ɪˈmɔː(ɹ).təˌlaɪz/, ideally /aɪˈdi.ə.li/, mentality /mɛnˈtæləti/, importantly /ɪmˈpɔɹ.tənt.li/
Klanken die Nederlandstaligen lastig vinden:
- Stemhebbende eindmedeklinker — /b/, /d/, /g/, /z/, /v/ niet verscherpen: acknowledge /əkˈnɑ.lɪd͡ʒ/, flawed /flɔːd/, immortalize /ɪˈmɔː(ɹ).təˌlaɪz/, lens /lɛnz/
- /æ/ — opener dan de Nederlandse “e”: mentality /mɛnˈtæləti/, attribute /ˈæt.ɹɪˌbjut/, vacuum /ˈvæ.kjuːm/, anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/
Zo oefen je met deze video
- Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
- Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
- Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als acknowledge, flawed, emotion.
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.