Shadowing Practice: Sugar & Spice Podcast | Why do men love bitches? - Learn English Speaking with Video

Kies een oefenmodus

Elke modus opent een volledig scherm oefenruimte.

739 zinnen

Als zinnen te kort of te lang zijn, klik op Bewerken om ze aan te passen.

hey guys and welcome back to sugar

and spice this week we're talking about something super interesting

which is why do men love beaches why do they like beaches why do they marry beaches

um i don't think it's i think the author was talking about how it's not actually this

pejorative defamatory kind of female dog it's this encapsulation of like

a woman who has standards who's very sure of herself who will pull back

if things don't serve her um who has her own life her own values her own goals

and is it going to stick around for shitty behavior

which i think is so common these days

and obviously we know men are like that's why it's

so common but i feel like on the other side we see

so many beautiful women around us who just like let guys

no i'm done i'm actually done with the sob story of

like men are shit you let people treat you how you

want to be treated yeah it's like a sense of i'm sorry this is going to sound really bad but

if you are the type of person who's going to stick

around for a guy treating you badly people would treat you

the way you allow them to treat you i'm sorry like that's

and i don't mean about abuse victims because

that happens over time right yeah

but some people will literally accept the bare minimum yeah

and then cry about it how life is unfair babes like why did you accept

that yeah there's no like you're not being forced into

that situation yeah so i'm i don't know i'm just like

that i think there is i think one guy can treat a girl a certain way and treat another woman

completely differently you see it all the time yeah it's actually

crazy like breaks up with his ex of like six years

and all of a sudden the new girl is like getting absolutely everything

and married and kids and all the things um

but yeah i think i think it's very easy to be a victim of your situation

and be like oh my god men treat me badly

and life is unfair and blah blah

but i think it's really important to think about how do you add to

that scenario what are you accepting from people how people viewing you because of the way that you were portraying yourself

what standard are you projecting onto the world yeah

because i don't buy it

that it's just this like i think men have over time worked less hard

because women have allowed them to work less hard totally totally

so if you're accepting certain behaviors babes

when you cry about it like take some responsibility in

that same facet though we were talking about this other day like australia is a traumatic place a day

and it's kind of like we have to sometimes accept the bare minimum

because then they're not really providing anything other than the bare minimum

but then it's like collectively like why why are we why are people accepting

that i know like we that that goes into why men marry beaches

because the beach the girl who has the standards isn't going to stick around for

that the guy who's giving the bare minimum is not going to get

that girl he knows he has to work harder yeah in

other places yeah whereas like i feel like in australia

because like what comes first the chicken

or the egg are the men just shit and providing the bare minimum

and women have therefore learned to kind of put up with it

because that's literally 97 % of men

or is it the other way around where it's like we've put up with these shitty standards

and our men just think they can act any way any

which way i think this is such a deep question

but i think with the rise of um with the rise of hookup culture yeah

and the birth of the contraception pill yeah everything changed yeah wow okay yeah especially in the west yeah true

because like there's not as many like it's not as risky before it's like

if you were sleeping with someone you could potentially she could

be the mother of your child this was risky behavior okay and so

you know you weren't so and girls weren't you know giving it up in that way

and not to shape anyone who is guys i'm a very liberal -minded person everyone enjoy their things like um

if you want to just sleep with a guy sleep with a guy

if you want to have fun you want to have fun

but if you want a man to fully commit to you

and you want to get married and you want to whatever

you know maybe it's not the wisest option to do

that with someone you barely know yeah

if that's what you want from him i get that

because you don't know him you don't know this person you don't know

and i want to go into this in a little bit i think

that you can set the standard with anyone even these low uh effort aussie guys

and you can get them to turn around

so it is it is quite doom and gloom in australia

because you have to raise these men

because they haven't been taught these certain things my issue isn't with i think

that australian men can treat women very very well i just don't think they're romantic yeah

and i don't think that can be taught

and that's the element i don't like about australian guys i think

that they can treat women i've dated aussie guy an aussie guy he treated me amazingly i don't think that that's

like do you think that's

because you put your standards like he would even tell me i've never treated a woman like this

and he did with pleasure with absolute pleasure you get into

that can you tell that story yeah i can't tell

that story um because this i feel like this has happened to you yeah maybe once

or twice guys i was given a very i was given

a cheat sheet in my life i'm a very very lucky woman

that i was given a father who really raised me to

have high standards i know that's not the same for everyone

i had a father not my dad it was my brother

so both of them really showed me how a man treats a woman

so i knew that that i already had

that example i'm my father's princess i already know what what gentleman like behavior is

so i just get puzzled if if i'm not treated in

that kind of way this is the thing with standards right

you see all these women who have amazing guys yeah right

and you're like wow she's so lucky whatever and you think

or maybe like

100

that woman has the highest standards that's how she got the amazing guys yeah you need to have high standards

101

but you need to try to communicate those standards in a

102

non -annoying way in a non -naggy way in a way that's like cheeky playful

103

and desirable having standards is confidence yeah how you execute the

104

standards is competence yeah it's how that's really important you have

105

to know how to execute your standards in a cheeky playful way

106

that isn't like grabbing someone by the neck

107

because then it's just you look it sounds you sound like a headache

108

so i was seeing an australian guy

109

and we know each other for ages whatever

110

and such a gentleman you know okay i will say this

111

also this is a very important thing to note i am

112

naturally not a needy person in terms of i don't need to see someone all the time

113

so i have my own life my friends my family there's

114

so many things

115

that come before a man i'm not gonna this is the

116

thing about men marrying beaches yeah it's the woman who's not

117

going to cancel her plans to see the guy yeah this

118

woman is like i've got parties in the morning i've got

119

this tomorrow i've got this she's not always available to you being always available to someone at their beck

120

and call you could you you could illustrate that

121

that picture with anyone you're not going to value something that's always there

122

it's always what how what's the value in something

123

if everyone could buy a pink diamond

124

and it was around everywhere the value of it decreases you know

125

so I think the whole thing is I was very naturally I'm naturally like

126

that so it wasn't like a manipulative game but I've realized

127

that that's what really gets guys hooked is

128

because I've got my own life my own things going on

129

and they kind of have to compete with that

130

so they really value the time

131

that you get just they get they want to wow you they want to whatever it is um

132

so yeah I think that

133

and he treated me amazing he always picked me up never

134

drove to his house he was such a gentleman always to me he's i mean we don't talk now

135

but have all the time in the world for him he's a great person and

136

but didn't he say to you like i've like never done

137

this before yeah i've never treated a woman like this and i

138

and i do it with the utmost pride yeah i don't

139

want you to lift a finger i don't want you he's

140

just seen the girls he was dating before they drive to

141

his house sleep with him in his bed do you know

142

whatever he wanted bring him stuff like i literally never lifted a finger with this man

143

and he was such yeah he even moved suburbs like yeah yeah yeah

144

because i the area was a little bit you know uh whatever

145

and a bit dangerous and he was just yeah he was he's a great guy

146

but i just think that it's the australian guys the guys

147

that we always talk about

148

that are low effort you can make them put more effort

149

into the situation as long as you have your standards you're high value

150

and um you know how to communicate those standards

151

and stop rewarding bad behavior 100 we see so many women around us

152

so many beautiful intelligent smart sexy like literally have it all

153

and we're giving the rats on the street the all the

154

excuses in the world for their bad behavior it's like at

155

some point we need to actually be like these men are

156

low effort these men are shit these men are unromantic they

157

don't plan anything like let me give you an example yeah

158

if a guy like i go on a date with a guy yeah

159

and he wants to take me home right and

160

i'm obviously not going to do that because i don't know you

161

and yeah whatever if you're like oh no that's

162

so disrespectful whatever some the example of this is

163

that someone can do something that is not of your standard

164

and if you communicate

165

that in a cheeky light way you've communicated your standard it gets him guessing

166

but it's also not so much of a headache i don't think people know how to do

167

that yeah totally i don't think people it's either you betray yourself

168

and you accept a low effort

169

or you go the other way where you are a bit

170

too extreme in your doctrine in the what you're you know like storage yeah

171

and it's like no one wants to treat you well after

172

that yeah it becomes like yeah gun to head type of vibe like

173

that sounds like a headache i'm already you know in terms of like flipping

174

that and like rather than not asserting Thank you standards we give them excuses like we're like oh

175

but like he's like not said this to me

176

but he said this to me and i think this means this

177

and it's like

178

if the behavior is not direct it just gives the same

179

energy desperate low value you don't like value your own time babe

180

when you're busy

181

and you're naturally just like i'm getting my hair done i'm

182

doing getting my nails done i'm going to work i'm going to the gym i'm doing pottery i'm doing yoga

183

i'm going to church i'm spending time with my family why do you have

184

so much time to obsess about a man yeah like this

185

is this is the whole thing it said someone earns your thoughts thoughts your time exactly 100

186

but it's like girls are like he took a breath next

187

to me let me change my whole identity for him like

188

i think you need to do the inner work before you

189

even think about a guy yeah it's you just spoke about

190

like having like a really strong male figure like on the opposite side of the coin

191

that spies sugar i didn't and i know

192

but like this ties into doing the inner work i feel like my previous relationship

193

so defined by this absence and this abandonment

194

that you become like the doormat

195

because you're like they're gonna leave me this is me

196

and my ex so we're doing like flip the switch now i was

197

that girl i wasn't a beach i was a doormat and

198

because this guy like fully loved by me i was like fully wowed by it

199

and it wasn't even that amazing now that i look back on it

200

because that's how low my standards were how did it happen he was mind you he was abusive

201

so i feel like the mental abuse made me a doormat

202

but he would do shit to me i wouldn't tell anyone

203

because i was embarrassed and i knew

204

if i told raquel she would call me out

205

and be like why are you accepting that behavior

206

but i made my standards like literally on the floor like i didn't have any

207

and he he treated me like shit broke up with me and it's

208

that typical trope of like the really hot successful smart woman starts dating a rat of a man

209

and he fucks her over yeah

210

and it's kind of like how does this happen it happens

211

through having literally no standards i know he didn't respect me towards the end

212

because i had none but at the same time he was an abusive piece of shit

213

so let's think someone so beautiful

214

and amazing like lexi like the only way a man like your ex could have access to you is

215

if honestly that there were self -esteem issues with you you know what i mean like a guy like

216

that would never have a chance to get with you

217

and then on top of that and on top of

218

that not only did he have a chance with lexi he

219

had the leg up on lexi no no they just stuffed

220

it up he had the leg up he had lexi chasing him

221

and this is the thing like in only some weird alternative reality could

222

that have ever happened but this this comes down to i think

223

that him or just anyone even like a good person

224

or like not something like that i think that

225

when you let a man know that you will always be there through his

226

and i'm not talking about your marriage because everyone relax like for better

227

and for worse i'm just saying like someone you're dating he's

228

doing horrible things he's not a man of his word he's

229

changing plans he's messaging you late at night instead of like making proper plans with you

230

he's making you feel bad about yourself whatever it is

231

and you're still accepting it you're still chasing him you're still

232

like wanting to catch up with him you're always available to

233

him like of course he's going to be like treating you badly you know gross

234

when you say that because

235

that was literally me yeah my ex -boyfriend was a rat like

236

when you look at him you're like like just physically disgusting

237

but like what makes it worse is his soul was disgusting

238

which made him even uglier and when you put

239

if you put a side by side you would literally be like how

240

and it was because i had probably a lot of self -esteem issues at

241

that point don't really know why i think he created them

242

in me here's the thing about abusive men though they'll make you self -conscious

243

and then they'll make you like they'll bring you i'll whittle you down to where you have no standards

244

and then it's like they end up doing something horrific i mean i left in the end

245

because he did something horrific and it was like okay i need to bounce

246

because this is becoming unsafe but yeah the fact

247

that he had the power over me is because of my inner self

248

and doing the work since then that was nearly four years ago jesus

249

so much inner work still grapple with things obviously but

250

so much inner work i've got an amazing new boyfriend we've been together nearly three years

251

and he treats me amazingly like standards from that maybe that was my lesson

252

to learn like how to really enforce my standards 100 yeah you learn from every relationship yeah

253

and like you know you want a lot from that i know

254

but i could say like i need all of

255

that did i need all of that like ew i just think

256

that like yeah in a relationship dynamic between a man

257

and a woman um a woman should always be chased like

258

forever till the end like the man should never feel

259

so comfortable as that the woman has absolutely and

260

that goes to the same thing with like even women who

261

choose to be stay -at -home mothers i think always need

262

to have money behind them whether it's passive income whether it's

263

something like not to be fully reliant on a man yeah fully devoted to a man i don't know

264

that could never be me like giving him absolute power in

265

that kind of way no i wouldn't do it he'd always have to feel

266

that if he left me i would be totally fine being completely passive

267

and too polite will always kind of leave you in the dirt

268

but here's where i struggle right because i'm naturally i'm not saying you're not

269

but i'm naturally like a very warm nice nice like human

270

like i feel like my energy is like light pink like i'm very like warm

271

and fuzzy and loving and like very cutesy like i don't really have

272

that like okay but someone that doesn't mean that you're not loving cutesy

273

but no no every guy i've been with

274

and i quote will say they've never been loved i would do

275

but how do you still be not like you can still be nice

276

and loving and have standards true true true true

277

and you're the more the the greater a man is the nicer loving i become right and then

278

when he disappoints me in any kind of way i naturally

279

subtract yeah it's the masculine i just i've just always naturally been like

280

that i'm only impressed by things that are impressive

281

and things i'm not like you know you give me a little little

282

crumb

283

and i'm like oh my god he sent me a good

284

morning text like minimum babe like it's actually the minimum i know isn't

285

that though like shit man up yeah

286

but you can get him to send you the good morning text in a playful way by setting

287

that standard that you like whatever without being like why aren't you sending me a text message for example

288

if you messaged that late afternoon i would just say like oh my god i was

289

so worried i thought something happened to you didn't send me

290

a good morning message no it's playful it's cute it's cheeky

291

it's not why didn't you send me a message i feel

292

like there's just a natural way of being like playful

293

and loving and making someone want to do those things with

294

that yeah for you without you know yeah press them up against the wall

295

because no one wants to do

296

that yeah agreed totally agreed like i was going to set the SWAT team out for you like i was

297

so worried you know like it's just cute yeah yeah i

298

think it's all it's all a balance life is all about balance and i think that you

299

have to we're going to do an episode on confidence

300

because i think that it needs a whole episode by itself yeah

301

but you need to deepen the connection with yourself that's the most important thing you'll ever have

302

and you need to have your own life like you need

303

to have your own passions your own dreams your own things i think

304

that when you give that all up too soon

305

and you're willing to just like forfeit everything for a guy

306

like he messages you you're meant to have dinner plans

307

and he doesn't message you all throughout the day no

308

and then he messages you at like four o 'clock

309

and then he's like okay we'll do it we'll go to this place babe

310

if you're gonna go to

311

that dinner like sorry to be mean are you such a loser

312

that you had no other option of doing something else instead

313

i would be like oh my god sorry babe i didn't

314

hear from you all day i actually made some plans

315

because i didn't know if you wanted to see me yeah

316

so it's like letting him know babes you can't message me an hour

317

or two before whatever not giving me direction of what we're doing yeah telling me what time anything is

318

and i'm just going to be like yep got nothing better

319

to do yeah you're the first thing on my priority

320

and it lets him know like okay wow i've got to

321

like work to be this you know someone valuable to her

322

i've got to work to like to take some of her

323

time my time's not 100 available to you i've got other other things in my life you know

324

so if you don't have that make

325

that like 100 % just lie oh yeah you could also

326

lie you can create the illusion like it isn't like

327

if you haven't made other plans you can still bail on

328

it yeah yeah without being like yeah actually still have nothing

329

to do like just set the standard 100 % also like does it play into

330

that concept of allowing men to be hunters

331

and allowing like them to yeah like what's it called traditional concepts of masculine

332

and feminine totally i think that you can't be too passive in

333

that like you're still gonna be cheeky you're still gonna let them know

334

that like you are so appreciative of the things that you do

335

that they do for you maybe even make a suggestion of something potentially

336

that you like maybe remember something that happened

337

or like compliment him it's a given pool you know i

338

think some people just like you know on the other end want to be wowed a bit too much

339

and i think there is like

340

because then you know no man wants to feel fully used

341

and fully like taken advantage of because that'll that's what some of them will feel

342

if it's just especially in australia because there's no culture for

343

that you know like in other parts of the world

344

if i put out my wallet to pay for something with a lebanese man i think he'd be

345

so offended he'd probably never speak to me again like it's offensive yeah it's a deep culturally

346

embedded thing

347

that a man takes a woman out he looks at it's

348

offensive to a man to pull out your wallet rather than in australia i think

349

if you're going out for dinner a woman should offer the

350

man should pay do you remember like we went out once with a friend of ours

351

talking about like the demanding side of things do you remember we went out

352

and we were like talking this was like three

353

or four years ago and we were talking to a group of boys next to us

354

and because we were talking to them for an hour

355

or two she was like you've got to pay our bill do you remember that no don't you remember that at

356

oh this is on the other side of the spectrum this is what happened we were at a restaurant yeah

357

and i was sitting down with the girls with lexi

358

and a bunch of other girls and this guy was trying to speak to me

359

and i was like old man like no not the vibe

360

and then he kept trying to come over

361

and talk to us we'll talk to me

362

and then my one of my friends was like

363

if you want her attention you've got to pay for our bill

364

and i was like babe don't ever speak on behalf of me

365

and make me so cheap to a man to make him think

366

that he can buy me like no that's obviously not how it is plus the guy was gross old

367

and like no like my grandfather's age and like letting him think

368

that like you could pay to have no that's why did you bring

369

that up we're talking about like demand like like putting the demands on a man like

370

that oh yeah like the staunchness of

371

that is crazy like you can't be like pay fish like it's just not no no

372

but i feel like that was someone also learning her standards

373

but it was the wrong execution yeah entirely like we don't

374

just go around demanding men pay for our bills that's not the vibe that's gross also like

375

if you're not into a guy and like

376

because the thing is guys everything comes with strings attached nothing

377

is free in this life as my mother says like every time

378

that a man gives you something or does something for you it's

379

because you know there's an expectation on the other end so

380

if i don't genuinely like someone i'm not letting him pay for i'm not giving him the illusion

381

that he has access to me because i'm

382

so cheap i can't afford totally like you know a bill like that's traumatic

383

and i'm sure there's some women on the hustle each to their own

384

but like i'm not about that life i think it's really important

385

and we'll do this confidence episode

386

but it's very important to take the steps to be a confident person

387

and think about the type of man that we want

388

right and what are the standards

389

that we actually want like what actually makes us feel loved

390

because someone can love you all day and it could be in a way

391

that you don't receive love so you won't feel loved

392

so no one knows you off by heart no one just

393

you know they don't like they can't read your mind

394

so doing that classical woman thing of like internalizing it being upset about it

395

and like you know is not the right way to go

396

about it you need to learn how to communicate standards

397

so know what your standards are yeah know what they are yeah

398

and know how to communicate them

399

and just never make a man feel too comfortable that's like

400

the rule of life ladies like never make a man feel

401

too comfortable like set your standards this is how it is

402

what advice would you give women who just believe they're typically unlucky with love i think with everything it's

403

so easy to look on the outside with anything in life

404

and to see like why is this world unfair to me

405

i'm a victim of my circumstance i've always had bad men around me my dad failed me my whatever

406

and it's very easy to look at those things

407

but you have to also think about like what are you doing

408

that is also not helping your situation what can you change what is there about you

409

that maybe is also adding to

410

you know to this issue like what are you speaking in

411

a certain way are you giving yourself up too easy are

412

you like there is there is some self -accountability here you

413

know as we were saying before two women can meet the same guy

414

and get treated very differently from both yeah um

415

and i know it's hard i know it's hard it's not

416

easy anymore men don't court you in the same way they

417

don't come to your house with flowers they don't ask your dad permission they don't do all those things

418

but just know ladies you can get all of those things

419

and more from a man by knowing how to communicate

420

that those are the things that you need you know like totally that's very important

421

so you just you've got to do the inner work like

422

that's number one you've got to do the inner work you've got to

423

because then it also it stops you from i guess it

424

helps you from um being protected from being in abusive relationships too you know it doesn't stop it

425

because those things obviously happen like an octopus one tentacle at a time it's not

426

so overt but you you know it will assist you

427

and seeing things in people having red flags having whatever it is like

428

and guys standards are going to turn some people off

429

and you have to be okay with that that's doing yourself a favor

430

if some if you communicate your standards correctly guys i don't know

431

if you're watching this podcast you know i'm a high maintenance girly like i'm not

432

so high maintenance i do i will say i make myself

433

see more high maintenance than i am at the start just to see how far that The guy can push it.

434

Yeah but i the same woman could experience dates

435

that i've been on and be like oh that was

436

so disappointing but i look at it and like wow he really fumbled

437

that you know it's the outlook of

438

that i'm not like oh my god like yeah i'm the

439

one who's choosing like i don't want to speak to this person again

440

and it's it's it's the way that you see the situation like if you it's so true

441

if you just allow someone to earn value in your life

442

and stop being so enamored and wowed by a man who's not earned being enamored

443

and wowed and this is what goes into the self -value thing

444

because a woman who's high value

445

and knows she's a valuable person isn't going to be wowed by the minimum she's just not totally

446

and i'm telling you guys like once you change your outlook

447

and once you do the inner work

448

and once you know how to communicate your standards

449

if anyone has any questions on like certain messages you can send

450

or any sort of predicaments like let me know i can help in some kind of way hopefully

451

but yeah yeah it's some women i hear them some girls

452

and i'm like wow like you really will put up put up with

453

that that's crazy i think we need to start seeing like

454

men's poor behavior as a turn off instead of it being

455

a disappointment like you said it's like why do we get

456

so upset he's only a favor behavior it's like ciao on to the next there are

457

so many people on this planet we get hooked by this one person

458

and most of the time it's very surface level we've only known them a few weeks

459

and we get like so enthralled by the behavior or lack thereof

460

and it's just like child

461

and just ask yourself like with this man like would you

462

want your son to be like him would you want your

463

daughter to be raised by a man like him like what is making

464

so many important decisions that we're like accepting the feminine behavior

465

but if you want this long -term partnership with them why would you put up with

466

that and they're treating you like this now what about

467

when you're pregnant what about when you're older what about

468

when your parents get older what about

469

when you know life is difficult like you want to be with the right person

470

so stop crying about some loser

471

that like god did you the favor of taking out of your life well

472

so the more you give him excuses

473

and the time of day he's just gonna literally he's just

474

like playing around with you like your little puppy like you're

475

just there on the side i'm gonna talk to you

476

when i want i'm gonna do what i want it's like you just become last in line

477

and sitting there wondering why he's not delivering you all the things

478

that you want he doesn't see you as valuable which is shit

479

but so like something about me is i obviously present myself in a hypersexual way um

480

and i know it's very easy for a man to view

481

me sexually guys winning a guy over sexually is the easiest

482

thing it's the easiest thing to do any woman anything with

483

a pulse the table this mic could win a man over winning him sexually is very easy

484

so i never ever allow conversations to turn sexual to even insinuate things like

485

that like nothing a little bit cheeky yeah a little bit cheeky

486

but nothing in

487

that regard until a very long time 100 a very very

488

long time until there is a deep emotional connection with

489

that person and if some

490

if a woman is going to cry about oh man just sees me as a body

491

and blah blah but i don't want to be mean

492

but have you shown him that you're anything

493

but a body do you have any responsibility in that

494

or are we gonna you know like or again see

495

that it's a turnoff if he's like that

496

if he's genuinely like very hypersexual and you're not

497

or he's very like touchy -feely or just very sleazy why is

498

that not like a gross thing why does it seem like

499

as he only sees me this way it's like no but

500

if a guy after the date was like you know come back to mine

501

or whatever i would just say like as attracted as i

502

am to you it takes me a really long time to like connect with someone in

503

that way so um i'm not ready for something like that

504

so but if you'd like to go on another date like let me know

505

or whatever like letting him know

506

that like you're not some prude you know a bit of hair a bit of leg touching goes you know

507

when he laughs like break that seal touch him a little bit um

508

but yeah letting him know that that's not something

509

that he you know that's it takes you a

510

while even extra yeah yeah 100 also i feel like we

511

stop giving men excuses for shitty behavior like we sit there he sends a message

512

and it all of a sudden has 50 meanings

513

and we're not actually looking at it what it actually means

514

but like well maybe he means this maybe he means

515

that it's like no more deriving meaning

516

that goes back to the same thing too much time yeah

517

too much time babes too much time you need to get

518

more friends you need to go to the library you need

519

to join yeah like a charity group you need to be doing other things like you cannot be

520

so mentally encapsulated by a man to that level

521

but why don't we and it's never a guy

522

that they're dating it's a guy that knows for like two weeks true

523

and it's like how is someone two weeks taking

524

so much of your mental like space i don't know i

525

i'm i'm very confused by the whole concept why do we

526

give things like beyond surface level meaning though as i feel like lots of women these days they're like try

527

and extract the most from a man's behavior is very obvious it's very direct

528

and then we take that and we're like but maybe it means this

529

but maybe it means

530

that you see it all over tiktok it's like girl no it means what it means it's

531

because women are like that you know generally women like they're more i guess um

532

sibling sibling and cryptic with their stuff so they assume

533

that men are the same but we glide over the fact

534

that it's like a known fact that men don't function like

535

that men will tell you exactly how to how it is and

536

if he wants you you will know they will be knowing like what maybe means this maybe i should wait

537

because he means this i should give him a second chance like no no

538

so lexi what are some of your standards for me i'm

539

a comms girl i need a good morning text i need

540

to to touch base during the day yes he's a busy man

541

if he's a busy man and he should be because i like

542

that then when he can

543

but making the time to communicate with me as a busy man i think to me is

544

so valuable and like you've got a really busy schedule you're a hustler

545

and you find the time you carve out just

546

that little space to connect with me

547

and see how i am i love it yeah i guess another standard for me is having like time

548

and space for my family because i i'm greek

549

and my boyfriend's australian and i know for a fact that

550

if he had shown any disdain towards my family

551

or like i know sometimes why people find it weird that you spend so much time with your family

552

i think if like he it was a concept he got used to

553

but he's never said like i'm not gonna do

554

that i'm not hanging out with your family and

555

if he did that's a standard that i personally couldn't cope with

556

and one more for me would be effort like to first

557

few dates to plan it out to think about me

558

and what i like and where i want to go

559

and just put the effort in to show me

560

that you actually care you actually want to take me somewhere

561

you actually want to show me something you actually listen to what i like

562

and want to enthrall me that way i think it's really important i love

563

that they're really really good standards i feel like mine i

564

can't really pinpoint like a specific standards it's more about i

565

would agree like feeling like a priority to him um

566

that he this whole elusive too cool nonchalant blase i like someone who doesn't sweat the small stuff in general

567

so they can be like that generally they're more nonchalant they're like whatever babe i love

568

that because i'm like that but not with love and passion

569

and desire love passion desire needs to be at full force

570

if he can see me for five minutes

571

that day he will see me for five minutes that day even

572

if it's he'll just drive to my house pick me up from around the corner

573

so dad doesn't see

574

but like pick me up from the corner of my house

575

go for a drive with me you know take just if

576

because i'm busy i've got my own life

577

so he's going to find a way to just even see me for like 10 minutes

578

if you can or like five minutes or plan this thing

579

or whatever but on the days that just a real eagerness

580

and i like that someone who like chases with conviction

581

and like desire

582

and like i can't breathe with breathe without you yeah um

583

that's a pretty high standard um another standard of mine would be that he

584

is a gentleman a gentleman in all kinds of ways a gentleman where he you know

585

if there's a last piece on the table he wants me to eat it before himself

586

if he there's traffic he's standing on the side of the

587

traffic he wants to make my life easier he wants to pick me up he wants to

588

he really cares about me you know did you eat today like things like

589

that i love that in a person that's cute yeah and

590

that yeah um and last one god i guess you

591

and i are the same in like different fonts is

592

that he cares about my family more than he cares about me yeah

593

so i always say the key to my heart is my family

594

so like guys i've gone on dates with

595

when they bring something for my sister

596

or like you know one of my exes whenever he was

597

sending me flowers he'd always send flowers for my sister

598

or whatever like i love

599

that that's the key to my heart i'm very very very simple in

600

that way like you show love and attention to

601

that stuff like i'm gonna be like daddy like let's have

602

a baby it's for modern dating we're gonna do rapid fire

603

now it's modern dating there's a feature on hinge where apparently

604

all of like the super hotties in the area go to a thing called a rose jail

605

and as a woman you have to hand them a rose

606

to be able to speak to them it's not gross it's

607

like the bachelor that's crazy please take my rose like no i wonder

608

if they're doing that because women aren't answering

609

and just there for validation i don't know babe

610

but i just think like for me starting on the wrong

611

foot yeah personally yeah that's icky it's for modern dating

612

when he sits on the side of the booth

613

and doesn't offer it to you yeah because i'll do the whole back

614

and forth he'll be like you take it i'll take it

615

no you take it no you take it no you just sits there

616

and doesn't even bat an eyelid i'm like oh yeah it's modern dating

617

and you're gonna love this one

618

when he's like oh you're dressed up you're looking dressy it's

619

like am i i feel like i personally not experienced

620

that i feel like if you're asking me on a date yeah too you know that about me but i

621

get that in day to day like especially in australia

622

because we think getting dressed up is like reserved for like weddings

623

and formal things we leave the house in activewear

624

so to put on a nice dress to go somewhere i

625

remember it's been warm recently i've got really nice sundresses

626

that i love wearing and it's warm and i want to the market and everyone was like

627

like is everyone because you're beautiful yeah like some yeah

628

but you could tell some of the he didn't get stank

629

face from all women yeah i'm like soz girl sorry girl i hate

630

that ix promoting dating when he acts like really blase i'm really nonchalant

631

and really just like it's almost like he doesn't want to

632

be there too cool like didn't you ask me to come

633

like isn't this like very like yeah i think that's

634

so gross when there's like a lack of admiration passion i went on a date last week

635

and the guy was so complimenting

636

and um he was saying i was like i was telling him how much i loved how he complimented me

637

and he was like well i'm

638

so lucky to be out with you of course i'm gonna make you feel amazing i'm such a

639

and i'm like that's the way you go about it totally you make her feel special

640

and yeah that's just so weird that men don't do

641

that i know in this country it's like normal to to

642

not like wow your woman up i know it's very normal

643

to be like hey i think some guys do it as

644

a manipulation technique where they don't want you to feel

645

so amazing because that'll get like a wounded woman

646

because she'll like fight for his approval fight for his desire think there's something wrong with her my ratty ex -boyfriend

647

and so she'll constantly shift

648

and change just trying to beg for men will bag a beautiful woman

649

and bring her down to their level instead of lifting her

650

up to like keep her there do you reckon that's right

651

right yeah for sure it's modern dating letting a guy do whatever he wants

652

and still being there still being like i'm available for you to take me out whenever it's like girl put

653

that foot down

654

or say swipe left like whatever it is just next next

655

next next next next guys there's a lot of people on this earth like there's a lot of people

656

and life is too short to be spending time with men

657

who don't appreciate you make you feel bad don't value you don't whatever now i do think

658

that you can as we were saying in this episode like you can act in certain ways

659

that like push yeah men to value you more um sometimes you're not doing yourself any favors but

660

um yeah icky icky it's for modern dating like a tit

661

-for -tat mentality i scratch my back you scratch yours having some mental invoice of like everything

662

that each other's have done

663

and being like oh my god this you get the next round

664

that rap was a bit like

665

that really towards the middle like towards like we've been together for like quite a bit at

666

that point i remember we went down to the morning to potential

667

and it was very like

668

that it's like i've got the accommodation therefore baby sent me a bill yeah do you remember

669

that you literally invoiced me for a holiday

670

like half a half of it be specific of who you're

671

talking about my ratty ex -boyfriend obviously not my current ex

672

-boyfriend my little rat of an ex -boyfriend you know that t -top is like

673

him not my boyfriend um he literally invoiced me for our fucking holiday babe like we came back

674

and he's like emailed me an invoice

675

but you know then i'm thinking like let's see why did you pay it

676

because i was abused for him i literally had no self -worth at

677

that point i was like a little fucking leaf on the

678

ground i hate tip it out also it's this country right

679

because we feel like it's not that common

680

but we saw this tiktok the other day

681

when she was asking people on the street we split 50

682

50 all the ethnics were like no fucking way other aussies

683

were like yeah you scratch my back i scratch yours 50 50 fair play like ew

684

so crazy all the women that was like the like the white women

685

that were like yeah want to pay my way she wouldn't

686

be able to pay my way it's like maybe you girl

687

but don't ruin it for the rest of us like yeah that's such ungentleman like gentleman like disgusting behavior

688

and the thing is that would be setting a standard right

689

so i wanted a date in berlin many years ago with a very very very cute man

690

and i can't remember what happened i know he paid the bill

691

but something was really cheap about the date really cheap he acted in some kind of way

692

and it really turned me off and so i never spoke to him again

693

and then i went back to berlin a couple years later

694

and he'd literally like planned the craziest date fight

695

and it was his way of like redeeming himself he's like

696

and he kept reflecting on that time because he would have gone over

697

and over in his head but yeah that's the thing like

698

if someone acts in a certain type of way i'll just alter my behavior towards them

699

but if i care about them enough i'll you know set my standard in a cheeky way

700

but if i don't babe next like next next next next next we talk about

701

that feeling of getting an ick mid -date

702

it's honestly the worst yeah you're sitting there like fuck i actually feel unwell i haven't had

703

that for ages yeah i haven't interviewed us

704

but i remember being younger by the whole point

705

so i was like get me out of here

706

and like yeah i don't know how people do the fake like escape thing like you i can't do that

707

but what i'll do is like worse yeah you you you

708

like i'll make it the best day of their life

709

if i'm here already and we're doing it like let's make it great

710

and they'll leave the day and be like

711

that was amazing i'm like i carried

712

that entire guys this is also something you need to remember sometimes we romanticize people

713

but think about were you the person that made that occasion

714

that relationship whatever amazing

715

because a lot of the times you were making the jokes

716

you were bringing the vibe you were bringing the humor don't underestimate yourself i know

717

that in some dates and social situations like i am the vibe

718

and then to turn around and be like oh

719

that was great was it great because of him was a great because of me

720

that's that's it's true though because i know i know

721

when i'm not into i know when i'm not into i'm guys

722

if i'm not into a date i will bring on a show like it's like becoming broadway at

723

that point bringing the jokes bringing the humor bringing whatever

724

and yeah and then they'll and i'll be like wow i really did

725

that i really saved that because we're there anyways but like is

726

that bad no babe i want to know like what excuses people use to get out of them

727

because i know people make up these fake things like oh

728

mom's called me i'm out like i've got like an emergency i'm like i could never do that really

729

so uncomfortable like we are both bad liars yeah like raquel

730

cannot lie to save us off we played this game once

731

where you had to like pretend like who was the robber

732

or not it was a drinking game in greece

733

and she was like i'm not the robot it's babe it's

734

so i'm a horrible liar also i'm very expressive with my face yeah

735

so i show everything like I wear my emotions on my face that's

736

that also helps setting standards because someone can clearly see

737

if I'm not about something or

738

if I'm like wow you know anyways hope this you guys enjoyed this episode

739

and bye for now we'll see you next week yeah

App downloaden

Alles wat je nodig hebt om vloeiend te spreken

AI UitspraakScoor elke zin

IPA OefeningBeheers elk geluid

WoordenschatBouw je woordenschat op

WoordenspelLeren terwijl je speelt

Scan QR

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

📺 Zelfde Kanaal

Sugar & Spice Podcast | Expert advice from leading sexologist Laura Miano

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

✨ Aanbevolen Video

316 zinnen

Stop inviting them back to ypur life #discipline #relationships #movingon #selfimprovement

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

665 zinnen

Ultimate DATING ADVICE: You must FIX this one thing! | Hey Tablo Ep. 34

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

231 zinnen

Jimmy O. Yang is now a Sugar Baby | Guess How Much

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

363 zinnen

How to Feel Beautiful When You Don’t Feel Pretty

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

134 zinnen

The Dangerous Myth Of The #Girlboss

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

117 zinnen

love is how you treat someone, not how you feel about them

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

49 zinnen

Don't Put Women on A Pedestal | Sadia Khan

Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults

435 zinnen

the satc girls together season 1 (scenepack)

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

114 zinnen

The Weekend Trap Keeping You Average (This Is How the Years Disappear)

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les

Deze spreekles op niveau B2 is gebaseerd op de video “Sugar & Spice Podcast”. Deze video bevat 739 zinnen en 8727 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 41:40. De spreker praat snel, ongeveer 209 woorden per minuut, dus reken op verbonden en ingeslikte klanken. 87% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden, dus de woordenschat is goed te volgen.

Belangrijke woorden in deze video

De 15 moeilijkste woorden uit de video, met uitspraak en betekenis:

Woord	Uitspraak	Betekenis
babe zelfstandig naamwoord	/beɪb/	stuk
cheeky bijvoeglijk naamwoord	/ˈt͡ʃiːki/	brutaal
gentleman zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈd͡ʒɛn.təl.mən/	meneer
vibe zelfstandig naamwoord	/vaɪb/	vibraties
invoice zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈɪnˌvɔɪs/	factuur, rekening
scratch werkwoord	/skɹæt͡ʃ/	krassen, krabben
nonchalant bijvoeglijk naamwoord	/ˌnɑn.ʃəˈlɑnt/	nonchalant
headache zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈhɛdeɪk/	hoofdpijn, koppijn
passive bijvoeglijk naamwoord	/ˈpæs.ɪv/	passief
enamored bijvoeglijk naamwoord	/ɪˈnæməɹd/	verliefd
sibling zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈsɪb.lɪŋ/	brus, sibling
amazingly bijwoord	/əˈmeɪzɪŋli/	geweldig
masculine bijvoeglijk naamwoord	/ˈmæskjələn/	mannelijk
horrific bijvoeglijk naamwoord	/həˈɹɪfɪk/	afschuwelijk
traumatic bijvoeglijk naamwoord	/tɹɔˈmætɪk/	traumatisch

Phrasal verbs die je zult horen

Woord	Betekenis
put up with werkwoord	ondergaan, verdragen
dress up werkwoord	verkleden
go out werkwoord	naar buiten gaan
turn around werkwoord	omdraaien
come back werkwoord	terugkomen
come over werkwoord	langskomen
end up werkwoord	belanden, terechtkomen
put out werkwoord	buitenzetten, uitwerpen

Grammatica in deze video

De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:

Structuur	In de video
Voorwaardelijke zinnen if + zin, will/would + werkwoord — een voorwaarde en het gevolg	if i told raquel she would call · if he left me i would be · if he wants you you will know
Present perfect have/has + voltooid deelwoord — iets uit het verleden dat nu nog telt	have allowed · we've put · haven't been taught
Lijdende vorm be + voltooid deelwoord — het gaat om wat er gebeurt, niet om wie het doet	be treated · being forced · been taught
Betrekkelijke bijzinnen who / which + zin — extra informatie over een persoon of ding	woman who has · anyone who is · women who have

Uitspraak om op te letten

De spreker gebruikt 329 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals I'm, don't, you're. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.

De klanken “sh” en “zh”: nonchalant /ˌnɑn.ʃəˈlɑnt/, illusion /ɪˈl(j)uːʒ(ə)n/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, accommodation /əˌkɒm.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, conviction /kənˈvɪkʃən/
Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: amazingly /əˈmeɪzɪŋli/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, accountability /əˌkaʊn.təˈbɪl.ə.ti/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, disappointment /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/

Zo oefen je met deze video

Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als babe, cheeky, gentleman.

Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?

Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.

Shadowing-techniek: lees de volledige stap-voor-stap-gids →

Shadowing Practice: Sugar & Spice Podcast | Why do men love bitches? - Learn English Speaking with Video

Kies een oefenmodus

App downloaden

Sugar & Spice Podcast | Expert advice from leading sexologist Laura Miano

Enough Talking. Start Becoming Someone

TikTok’s Cutest Relationship Was a Nightmare

Keyboard Warriors! Why Are People So Brave Behind a Screen?

Stop inviting them back to ypur life #discipline #relationships #movingon #selfimprovement

Ultimate DATING ADVICE: You must FIX this one thing! | Hey Tablo Ep. 34

Jimmy O. Yang is now a Sugar Baby | Guess How Much

How to Feel Beautiful When You Don’t Feel Pretty

The Dangerous Myth Of The #Girlboss

love is how you treat someone, not how you feel about them

Don't Put Women on A Pedestal | Sadia Khan

the satc girls together season 1 (scenepack)

The Weekend Trap Keeping You Average (This Is How the Years Disappear)

Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les

Belangrijke woorden in deze video

Phrasal verbs die je zult horen

Grammatica in deze video

Uitspraak om op te letten

Zo oefen je met deze video

Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?