Shadowing Practice: The Let Them Theory. - Learn English Speaking with Video
Les maken...
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Welcome to her mindset.
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This space focuses on growth, healing, and becoming the woman you want to become.
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In today's episode, we're diving into a book that has the power to completely shift the way you think, see yourself, and navigate life.
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Have you ever found yourself replaying the same conversation over and over in your head?
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Wondering why they didn't reply?
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Trying to convince someone to understand your point of view?
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Hoping someone would finally see your worth?
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Or maybe you've spent so much time trying to fix a relationship that the other person wasn't even trying to save.
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This book might genuinely change your life.
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Because today's episode is all about one incredibly simple idea.
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Just let them.
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Let them.
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Let them.
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Let them.
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Let them.
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Let them.
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Let them lose you.
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Let them.
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If they treat you like shit, let them treat you like shit.
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Just two words.
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Yet these two words can save your energy, quiet your overthinking, help you stop chasing people,
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strengthen your confidence, and bring your focus back to the only person you can actually control: yourself.
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The truth is, most of us aren't exhausted, because life is hard.
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We're exhausted, because we're constantly trying to control things that were never ours to control.
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We try to control how people see us.
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How quickly they text back.
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Whether they choose us.
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Whether they understand us.
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Whether they stay.
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Whether they change.
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And without even realizing it, we hand other people the keys to our peace.
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One delayed reply changes our mood.
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One opinion ruins our confidence.
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One rejection suddenly makes us question our entire worth.
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That's exactly what the "let them" theory by Mel Robbins talks about.
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The idea isn't to stop caring.
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It isn't about becoming cold.
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And it definitely isn't about control other people.
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If they want to misunderstand you, let them.
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If they choose to leave, let them.
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If they don't see your value, let them.
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If they judge you without knowing your story, let them.
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Because your job isn't to manage people's opinions.
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Your job is to protect your peace.
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One of my favorite ideas from this book is that the real thing draining you isn't actually other people.
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It's your constant attempt to manage them.
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Think about how much energy we waste every single day.
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Checking someone's last scene.
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Reading the same message ten different times.
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Trying to figure out what they really meant.
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Imagining conversations that never happened.
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Creating worst case scenarios before anything has even gone wrong.
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By the end of the day, you're emotionally exhausted.
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Not because something terrible happened, but because your mind never stopped working.
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And here's something I realized while reading this book.
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Sometimes we call it love, when it's actually fear.
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There's a huge difference.
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Love gives people freedom.
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Fear tries to control them.
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constantly trying to change someone, convince them, stop them from making decisions, or make them behave in ways that make you feel safe.
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Ask yourself honestly: is this really love, or am I just afraid of losing them?
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Because fear turns relationships into surveillance.
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Love turns them into safe spaces.
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Another lesson that completely changed my perspective is this: not everything deserves an explanation.
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Sometimes people reply late because they're busy.
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Sometimes they're tired.
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Sometimes they simply don't know what to say.
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But an anxious mind hates uncertainty.
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So it starts writing stories.
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They're losing interest.
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They're ignoring me.
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I did something wrong.
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They probably don't like me anymore.
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Notice something?
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None of those are facts, they're stories.
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And we suffer from stories far more often than reality itself.
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The next time you catch yourself overthinking someone's behavior, stop for a moment and ask yourself: "Am I reacting to what's actually happening, or am I reacting to the story I created in my own mind?"
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That one question can instantly bring you back to reality, and save you so much emotional energy.
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Also, not every reaction is about the other person.
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Sometimes they're exposing what's happening inside us.
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When someone changes, we immediately start analyzing every little thing they do.
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But often, what we're really noticing is a wound we haven't healed yet.
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A fear of rejection, a fear of being left behind, or the feeling that you somehow aren't enough, and those fears quietly start controlling your emotions.
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Instead of healing those fears, we often start changing our behavior.
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We watch people more closely, try harder to keep them happy, over -explain ourselves, or convince ourselves that being more perfect will stop them from leaving.
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But none of that creates real peace.
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Because peace doesn't come from controlling people.
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It comes from no longer needing to.
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It comes from trusting yourself enough to know this.
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The people who truly want to stay, will stay.
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You don't have to chase them.
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You don't have to convince them.
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You don't have to become someone else just to be chosen.
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And the people who decide to leave, as painful as it feels, maybe the most powerful thing you can do is simply let them.
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So, how do you actually take your energy back?
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It starts when you stop chasing validation, approval, and certainty from other people you finally have room to focus on yourself.
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Your confidence grows, your mind feels lighter, and your life stops revolving around someone else's choices.
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That's real freedom.
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Now let's see this mindset in action.
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One of the best examples of this mindset is Elle Woods from Legally Blonde.
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Ella Woods believed that if she became everything Warner wanted, he'd finally choose her.
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So she chased his approval, followed him to Harvard, and tried to fit into the version of herself she thought he wanted.
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But when she got there, everyone underestimated her.
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They looked at the girl wearing pink, and decided she wasn't smart enough.
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And that's when everything changed.
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Instead of wasting her energy proving them wrong, she let them think whatever they wanted.
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She stopped chasing Warner's attention, and started focusing on becoming the best law student she could be.
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worked hard, and built a future that had nothing to do with anyone else's approval.
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And here's the best part: by the time Warner finally realized her worth, she didn't need him to.
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Because the moment Elle stopped chasing someone else's validation, she found her own.
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That's exactly what Let Them is about.
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Let them judge you.
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Let them underestimate you.
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Let them believe whatever they want.
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Your job isn't to change their mind.
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Your job is to keep building the life you want.
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Cher.
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He thought she was shallow, spoiled, and only cared about fashion.
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But Cher didn't spend the whole movie trying to convince him he was wrong.
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She didn't suddenly change her personality, stop dressing the way she liked, or pretend to be someone she wasn't just to earn his approval.
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Then something interesting happened.
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Josh's opinion started to change, not because Cher chased his validation, but because authenticity is hard to ignore.
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He eventually realized that everything he once judged was also what made her different.
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felt like the internet had an opinion about everything she did.
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People judged her, compared her to other women, created stories about her, and turned almost every photo she posted into a debate.
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One of my favorite examples was the whole "Nepo Baby" trend.
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Instead of posting a long explanation or trying to convince people she deserved her success, she walked outside wearing a t -shirt that literally said "Nepo Baby." Then she did something even smarter.
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Instead of spending all her energy fighting strangers online, she poured that energy into Building Road.
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While people were busy talking about her personal life, she was quietly creating one of the most successful beauty brands in the industry.
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I think that's one of the best real -life examples of the "Let Everyone eventually stopped talking, but because she stopped letting their opinions decide where her energy went.
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So before we finish the video, what would change in your life if you simply let them
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If you enjoyed today's episode and you'd like to see more book breakdowns, mindset shifts, and psychology videos like this, don't forget to like, subscribe, stay limitless.
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Thank you so much for watching.
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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les
Deze video bevat 133 zinnen en 1374 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 7:31. De spreker praat snel, ongeveer 183 woorden per minuut, dus reken op verbonden en ingeslikte klanken. 88% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden, dus de woordenschat is goed te volgen.
Belangrijke woorden in deze video
15 woorden uit de video die het leren waard zijn, met uitspraak en betekenis:
| Woord | Uitspraak | Betekenis |
|---|---|---|
| chase werkwoord | /t͡ʃeɪs/ | achtervolgen, achternazitten |
| convince werkwoord | /kənˈvɪns/ | overtuigen |
| mindset zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/ | mentaliteit, ingelsteldheid |
| heal werkwoord | /ˈhiːl/ | genezen, helen |
| exhaust werkwoord | /ɪɡˈzɔst/ | uitputten, verminderen |
| validation zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/ | validering |
| ignore werkwoord | /ɪɡˈnɔː/ | negeren |
| explanation zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/ | verklaring, toelichting |
| react werkwoord | /ɹiːˈækt/ | reageren |
| rejection zelfstandig naamwoord | /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/ | afwijzing |
| underestimate werkwoord | /ʌndɚˈɛs.tɪ.meɪt/ | onderschatten |
| earn werkwoord | /ɝn/ | verdienen |
| lesson zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈlɛs.ən/ | les |
| compare werkwoord | /kəmˈpɛɚ/ | vergelijken |
| suffer werkwoord | /ˈsʌfɚ/ | lijden |
Phrasal verbs die je zult horen
| Woord | Betekenis |
|---|---|
| figure out werkwoord | uitvogelen, er achter komen |
| leave behind werkwoord | achterlaten |
Grammatica in deze video
De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:
| Structuur | In de video |
|---|---|
| Voorwaardelijke zinnen if + zin, will/would + werkwoord — een voorwaarde en het gevolg | if she became everything Warner wanted, he'd finally · If you enjoyed today's episode and you'd like |
| Present perfect have/has + voltooid deelwoord — iets uit het verleden dat nu nog telt | Have you ever found · you've spent · has even gone |
| Lijdende vorm be + voltooid deelwoord — het gaat om wat er gebeurt, niet om wie het doet | being left · be chosen · is simply let |
| Betrekkelijke bijzinnen who / which + zin — extra informatie over een persoon of ding | people who truly · people who decide |
Uitspraak om op te letten
De spreker gebruikt 38 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals don't, isn't, they're. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.
- De “th”-klanken: strengthen /ˈstɹɛŋ(k)θən/, authenticity /ɑθɛnˈtɪsɪti/
- De klanken “sh” en “zh”: validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, rejection /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/
- Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, underestimate /ʌndɚˈɛs.tɪ.meɪt/, incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/, psychology /saɪˈkɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/
Zo oefen je met deze video
- Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
- Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
- Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als chase, convince, mindset.
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.