Shadowing Practice: Ways To Flirt Subtly - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Let's go to the chase.
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Does flirting actually work?
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Psychologists would say very much so.
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In fact, according to an article by self-help blogger and psychology writer,
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Eric Barker, research has proven that flirting and signaling your availability to someone is a better predictor of romantic interest than attractiveness.
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Generally characterized by specific gestures,
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body language, and direct or indirect social cues,
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sex educator and relationship coach,
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Kelly Gonzalez,
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defines flirting as any method you use to signal to someone
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that you find them interesting and want to engage with them further.
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Usually a fun and lighthearted activity between two people who find each other attractive
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and flirting should feel good for both parties involved and spark feelings of curiosity and excitement.
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With that said, if you want to let someone know you're interested in them
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but your fear of rejection is stopping you from saying it outright, don't worry.
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Here are seven subtle and psychology-backed ways to flirt.
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Number one, flirtatious facial expressions.
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Because it's often more socially acceptable for men to make the first move,
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women tend to flirt mainly through facial expressions and other nonverbal cues.
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Psychologist Jeremy Nicholson states that some of the most common examples of these include turning your head to one side,
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tilting your chin down slightly,
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tossing your hair over your shoulder,
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and biting your lip while smiling.
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As for men, number two, smile slowly.
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While it's not unheard of for men to follow a few of the same flirty facial expressions as women,
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according to psychologist and professor at California State University,
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Dr. Pamela Regan, smiling is the single most effective and most universal method to convey romantic interest.
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To be more specific, when a man smiles slowly at a woman,
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it's less likely to be mistaken as just a casual smile of friendliness.
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Number three, brief glances.
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Similar to the last point,
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glancing briefly at someone only to look away is another subtle but well-known flirting technique,
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often done by both genders.
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In Dr. Pamela Reagan's book,
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Close Relationships, she writes that doing so indicates preferential attention and is a clear sign of positive romantic intentions.
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So if you wanna flirt with someone but fear rejection,
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just steal a few glances at them from time to time until they notice.
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Number four, feather light touch.
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Still, self-help expert Eric Barker insists that the flirting technique that works better than anything else is a simple touch.
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But don't worry, you don't have to invade someone's personal space and worry about making them uncomfortable with your touch,
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just to let them know you're interested.
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There are some ways of flirting through subtle touch,
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such as a light brush against their shoulder or forearm,
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a lingering hand on their waist,
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or casually touching their hair.
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Number five, mind your appearance.
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Another great but subtle way of flirting with someone is to be more mindful of your appearance when you're around them.
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And no, that doesn't mean always checking the mirror
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while they're talking to you because that may make you seem vain and uninterested,
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but simply making a bit of extra effort to look nice for them than yourself.
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Think a fine hairstyle or some nice new clothes.
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Psychologist Jeremy Nicholson categorizes this as a physical way of flirting,
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along with practicing attractive body language and using touch to build attraction,
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like what we talked about earlier.
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Number six, tickle their funny bone.
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Speaking of the different flirting styles,
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another one is the playful flirting style,
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wherein the goal is more about having fun than trying to start a relationship.
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In an article from Psychology Today,
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Dr. Nicholson stated that playful flirts know how to keep people interested by showing off their fun-spirited personality
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and great sense of humor.
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So if all else fails,
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you can always try your luck tickling the other person's funny bone,
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always trying to make them laugh and finding ways to have fun with them,
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to let them know your true feelings.
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Number seven, be more yourself.
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Finally, but perhaps most importantly,
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as cliche as it sounds,
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being your authentic self with someone you like is a great way to flirt with them.
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Why?
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Well, according to dating coach Clara Artswager,
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thinking, okay, how do I flirt better?
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I think this is the very thing that kills our ability to have that kind of interaction.
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Instead, she suggests that we approach flirting by being more ourselves
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and feeling more at ease with ourselves around the person we like.
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And with this, we'll come to a winning sense of confidence
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that can draw people in and make them more interested in you.
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In summary, successful flirting starts with a friendly and inviting approach,
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engaging conversations, social interactions, and a mutual physical and emotional attraction towards one another.
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Still, psychologists and relationship experts such as Archwager,
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do maintain that because flirting is so personal,
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there is no single foolproof way that will work for everybody on everybody.
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So aside from following these empirically based tips,
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it's also important that you work on being more at ease with yourself and around the person you like.
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Have fun when you flirt,
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try to make some sparks fly and see where it goes from there.
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Be sure to let us know some of your own personal ways to subtly flirt in the comments down below.

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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les

Deze spreekles op niveau B2 is gebaseerd op de video “Ways To Flirt Subtly”. Deze woorden komen het vaakst terug: flirting, flirt, psychologist, touch, subtle. Deze video bevat 87 zinnen en 897 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 5:15. De spreker praat in een natuurlijk tempo van ongeveer 171 woorden per minuut, dicht bij een alledaags gesprek. Slechts 79% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden, dus de woordenschat is pittig.

Belangrijke woorden in deze video

De 15 moeilijkste woorden uit de video, met uitspraak en betekenis:

WoordUitspraakBetekenis
psychologist zelfstandig naamwoord/ˌsaɪˈkɑl.ə.d͡ʒɪst/psycholoog, psychologe
tickle werkwoord/ˈtɪkl̩/kietelen, kriebelen
cue zelfstandig naamwoord/kju/teken
rejection zelfstandig naamwoord/ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/afwijzing
spark zelfstandig naamwoord/ˈspɑɹk/vonk, sprank
attraction zelfstandig naamwoord/əˈtɹækʃn̩/aantrekkingskracht, attractie
attractiveness zelfstandig naamwoordaantrekkelijkheid
characterize werkwoord/ˈkɛɹəktəɹaɪz/karakteriseren
cliché zelfstandig naamwoord/kliˈʃeɪ/cliché, gemeenplaats
foolproof bijvoeglijk naamwoord/ˈfuːl ˌpɹuːf/onfeilbaar, kogelbestendig
forearm zelfstandig naamwoord/ˈfɔːˌɹɑːm/onderarm
friendliness zelfstandig naamwoord/ˈfɹɛndlinəs/vriendelijkheid
hairstyle zelfstandig naamwoordkapsel, coiffure
lighthearted bijvoeglijk naamwoordzorgeloos
linger werkwoord/ˈlɪŋɡɚ/treuzelen, talmen

Phrasal verbs die je zult horen

WoordBetekenis
show off werkwoordzich aanstellen, pronken met

Uitspraak om op te letten

De spreker gebruikt 10 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals don't, you're, doesn't. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.

  • De “th”-klanken: feather /ˈfɛðə/, cloth /klɒθ/, authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/
  • De klanken “sh” en “zh”: facial /ˈfeɪ.ʃəl/, rejection /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/, attraction /əˈtɹækʃn̩/, cliché /kliˈʃeɪ/, flirtatious /flɚˈteɪʃəs/
  • Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: psychologist /ˌsaɪˈkɑl.ə.d͡ʒɪst/, categorize /ˈkætɪɡəˌɹaɪz/, characterize /ˈkɛɹəktəɹaɪz/, preferential /ˈpɹɛf.ɜː(ɹ)ˌɛn.ʃəl/, educator /ˈɛd͡ʒəkeɪtɚ/

Klanken die Nederlandstaligen lastig vinden:

  • Stemhebbende eindmedeklinker — /b/, /d/, /g/, /z/, /v/ niet verscherpen: categorize /ˈkætɪɡəˌɹaɪz/, characterize /ˈkɛɹəktəɹaɪz/, unheard /ʌnˈhɜː(ɹ)d/, invade /ɪnˈveɪd/, intentions /ɪnˈtɛnʃənz/
  • /æ/ — opener dan de Nederlandse “e”: glance /ɡlæns/, attraction /əˈtɹækʃn̩/, categorize /ˈkætɪɡəˌɹaɪz/, casually /ˈkæʒuəli/
  • /g/ — een harde plofklank, geen Nederlandse “g”: glance /ɡlæns/, categorize /ˈkætɪɡəˌɹaɪz/, linger /ˈlɪŋɡɚ/, blogger /ˈblɔ.ɡəɹ/

Zo oefen je met deze video

  1. Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
  2. Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
  3. Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als psychologist, tickle, cue.

Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?

Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.

Shadowing-techniek: lees de volledige stap-voor-stap-gids →