Shadowing Practice: An umpire's tips on dealing with conflict | Stefano Cossalter | TEDxGrandviewHeights - Learn English Speaking with YouTube

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Reviewer Gopal My son Giovanni and I, we work in an environment where many people dislike us, yell at us, argue with us, and some might even threaten us with physical violence.
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Reviewer Gopal My son Giovanni and I, we work in an environment where many people dislike us, yell at us, argue with us, and some might even threaten us with physical violence.
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Welcome to the world of a baseball umpire.
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What started out as a fun way to spend more time with my son turned out to be one of the most profound learning experiences I've had dealing with people in conflict.
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And it all started when my son Giovanni was 11 years old.
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He looked at me, he said, Dad, I want to be a baseball umpire.
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We put him through the all-day clinic, and after that, he was set up to umpire his first game.
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I was so proud of him.
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His first job at 11 years old, watching him work with parents, coaches and players, I could see those life skills just sinking in.
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Where else can you get that kind of experience?
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But the first few games, he'd come to the backstop and he'd grip the chain link fence and he'd say, Dad, Dad, I don't think I can do this.
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I looked him in the eye and I said, you can do this Giovanni, don't quit.
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It'll get easier next time.
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After a few deep breaths he'd go back to the game and get through it.
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At the end of the season he said, dad why don't you become a baseball umpire with me?
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I said, what a great idea.
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I already go to watch his games, not to mention the money you'll pay for the gas.
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So I went up to the umpire chief and said, do you guys take adults into your program?
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Yes, there's high turnover with umpires.
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We'll take all the help we can get.
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I thought high turnover?
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How hard can this be?
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So I signed up for my first clinic.
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Okay, you have to picture this.
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There I was on the field at the clinic doing the exercises, me and 35 five 11-year-olds.
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Have you ever heard the saying, kids can be so mean?
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Well, this is an understatement.
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They were merciless and with me they must have smelled weakness.
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At 47 years old, it was like a cow thrown into a tank of piranhas.
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They called me loser, old man and boomer.
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But I was undeterred because I wanted to set a good example for my son.
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Our first baseball game together they put us in the highest most competitive league there is in baseball little league I arrived all dressed up in my equipment I was behind the plate Giovanni was on the bases I waited for the first pitch to come in right over the plate above the knees strike next pitch comes in way low to the left.
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Ball!
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This was a piece of cake.
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I was a natural.
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Next pitch comes in, right above the plate, but was it above the knees or below the knees?
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I couldn't tell.
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Strike!
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Audible groans from the audience.
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Now, I've been a people pleaser my entire life, but being a baseball umpire, I was forced to deal It was something I wasn't used to, disagreement.
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But that's where the real lessons came in.
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The next pitch came in way low.
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Ball, the scorekeeper behind me yells, hey, ump, he swung the bat.
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This was more difficult than I expected.
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He swung the bat right in front of my eyes and I missed it.
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And that's when things really went downhill.
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Next pitch comes in, strike three.
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Some guy in the stands jumps up and yells, hey ump, the strike zone's at the knees.
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The coach yells at me, he goes, that's it, I'm sick of this.
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What the heck are you doing?
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Some guy behind me is like, hey ump, clean out your eyes.
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Whatever that means.
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It turns out people have strong opinions about this strike zone.
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I came to the field with my protection, my mask, my chest guard, my leg guards, but I didn't have anything to protect me emotionally.
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A few games later, a high-stakes play was developing on first base.
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I was on bases and Giovanni was behind the plate.
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The first baseman was reaching for the ball, and I clearly saw the ball get caught before the runner touched the base.
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Clear cut.
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You're out!
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The coach loses his mind.
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He throws his hat in the dirt, red-faced, veins bulging right up to my face.
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He yelled, you really messed up that call.
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I said, I'm right here.
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I was right here.
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I had a perfect view.
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He started arguing a bit and Giovanni came over, but I shooed him away.
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Eventually, I sent the coach packing.
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After the game, Giovanni and I were walking home and I said to him, I'm sorry, man.
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I can't hack this.
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It's not even worth the money.
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He looked at me in the eyes and he said, You can do this, Dad.
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Don't quit.
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It'll get easier next time.
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It's shocking the moment you realize your 12-year-old son is more clever than you are.
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No, no, Giovanni, this is different.
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I just can't handle it.
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The guy was right in my face, yelling.
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Looked me in the eyes, lied to me just so his team could win.
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Giovanni said, why would he lie to you, Dad?
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He said, from where I was standing behind the plate, I could see the first baseman's foot come off the base.
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The coach was right.
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He was safe.
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Well, why didn't you tell me?
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He said, I did tell you, Dad.
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I tried.
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You just weren't listening.
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Giovanni was always somewhat precocious, but I wasn't about to get schooled by him.
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I said, okay, if the pitcher wants it one way and the batter wants it the other, who's right?
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He looked at me and said, they both are, Dad.
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It's shocking the moment you realize your 12-year-old son is wiser than you are.
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A few games later, a coach was irate at me for the call I made on third base.
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He was yelling at me, so I sent him to the sidelines with a warning.
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I went up to his assistant coach and I said, there's no excuse for that kind of behavior.
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He said, yeah, you're right.
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There is no excuse for that.
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If it makes a difference, it really wasn't about you.
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It was about something bad happened to him earlier.
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No, I'm not saying bad behavior is acceptable.
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It's not.
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But if we take these things into consideration, maybe what somebody's going through, I think that's a big important part of being fair, impartial, and empathetic, both on and off the field.
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I've also come to learn that as a baseball umpire, it's not just about making the right calls.
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It's about realizing that every single person, every player, every coach comes to the field with their own experiences, their own challenges, and their own views.
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And sometimes, just like in life, those views are shaped by things we can't see from where we're standing.
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My son was teaching me empathy and if I was going to do this job I'd have to realize that everybody there just loves baseball.
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Of course knowing this and putting it into practice are two different things.
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The first thing I had to learn was how to stay calm under pressure.
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Historically when I encountered conflict I'd either avoid it or dig in my heels and get defensive.
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But by staying calm under pressure hasn't just made me a better umpire, it's made me a better father, a better spouse, and a better business partner.
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Perspective and empathy, they're not just valuable things on the field, they're essential for every conflict we encounter.
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So next time you get in a disagreement, think like an umpire.
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Stay calm under pressure and ask yourself, am I seeing the whole picture?
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Can I look at this from a different angle?
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And am I able to understand where somebody else is coming from?
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Maybe, like me, you'll see that empathy and perspective can be the difference between a heated argument and a moment of connection.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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About This Lesson

In this video, Stefano Cossalter shares his personal experiences as a baseball umpire, focusing on how to handle conflict effectively. As an English learner, you will practice vocabulary related to sports, conflict resolution, and emotional resilience. This lesson will also expose you to various speaking contexts, such as casual conversations with family and authoritative dialogue in competitive settings. By engaging with this content, you will enhance your English speaking practice while learning about the dynamics of teamwork and communication under pressure.

Key Vocabulary & Phrases

  • Umpire: A person who officiates a game, particularly in baseball, making decisions on plays and enforcing rules.
  • Conflict: A serious disagreement or argument, often occurring in high-pressure situations, such as sports.
  • Strike zone: The area over home plate in which a pitch must pass for a strike to be called.
  • Disagreement: A difference of opinion or argument, which the umpire frequently encounters.
  • Emotional resilience: The ability to adapt to stressful situations or recover from setbacks, crucial for effective conflict management.
  • To send someone packing: To dismiss someone or ask them to leave, often seen in a sport's context when tensions rise.
  • Perspective: An individual's viewpoint or angle on a situation, essential for understanding conflict in communication.
  • Assertive communication: A style of communication that involves expressing one’s opinions firmly and respectfully, which is vital in a high-stakes environment like umpiring.

Practice Tips for This Video

To maximize your learning through shadowing with this video, try the following tips:

  • Speaking Speed: Take note of Stefano’s pace; start with slower parts to grasp the vocabulary and gradually increase your speed to match his natural flow.
  • Accent & Pronunciation: Focus on how certain words are pronounced, particularly in a sports context. Pay attention to the intonation used when discussing conflict, which can enhance your pronunciation practice.
  • Contextual Understanding: Before shadowing, familiarize yourself with the background of umpiring and conflict in sports. This understanding will make it easier to absorb the language used.
  • Repetition: Replay sections that challenge you. Repeating difficult phrases will help improve both your listening and speaking skills.
  • Reflection: After watching, summarize Stefano’s main points in your own words, employing the new vocabulary to reinforce your English fluency.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

How to Practice Effectively on ShadowingEnglish

  1. Choose your video: Pick a YouTube video with clear, natural English speech. TED Talks, BBC News, movie scenes, podcasts, or IELTS sample answers all work great. Paste the URL into the search bar. Start with shorter videos (under 5 minutes) and content you find genuinely interesting — motivation matters.
  2. Listen first, understand the context: On your first pass, keep the speed at 1x and just listen. Don't try to repeat yet. Focus on understanding the meaning, picking up new vocabulary, and noticing how the speaker stresses words, links sounds, and uses pauses.
  3. Set up Shadowing mode:
    • Wait Mode: Choose +3s or +5s — after each sentence plays, the video pauses automatically so you have time to repeat it out loud. Choose Manual if you want full control and press Next yourself after each repetition.
    • Sub Sync: YouTube subtitles sometimes appear slightly ahead or behind the audio. Use ±100ms to align them perfectly so you can follow along accurately.
  4. Shadow out loud (the core practice): This is where the real work happens. As soon as a sentence plays — or during the pause — repeat it out loud, clearly and confidently. Don't just mouth the words: mirror the speaker's exact rhythm, stress, pitch, and connected speech. Aim to sound like a shadow of the speaker, not just a word-by-word recitation. Use the Repeat feature to drill the same sentence multiple times until it feels natural.
  5. Scale up the challenge: Once a passage feels comfortable, push your limits. Increase speed to <code>1.25x</code> or even <code>1.5x</code> to train high-speed language reflexes. Or set Wait Mode to <code>Off</code> for continuous shadowing — the most advanced and rewarding mode. Consistent daily practice of 15–30 minutes will produce noticeable results within weeks.

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