Shadowing Practice: How to be Positive Everyday? | Podcast and Chill | Beginner - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Welcome back to Podcast and Chill.
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I'm your host, Leo, who loves to chill.
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And joining me is my calm and wise co-host, Gwen.
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Oh, come on, Leo.
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I'm not as great as you think I am.
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No, Gwen.
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I'm just saying the facts.
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Anyway, hello, everyone.
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Hope all of you are doing well.
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Okay, Gwen.
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But before we begin the podcast, I want to ask you a question.
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Sure.
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Go ahead.
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You said to me earlier that you are not great as I think you are, right?
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Yep.
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So do you sometimes feel like you are not good enough?
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Wow, that's a good question, Leo.
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I do sometimes.
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Life can feel stressful, and all I worry is about falling behind others.
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I see.
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I think everyone feels that way at some point.
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It's normal to question ourselves sometimes.
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I had those moments too.
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Really?
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Yes, many people feel the same way.
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Seeing other people's achievements makes them insecure.
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As a result, they keep wondering if they're good enough, and comparison starts.
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I see.
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After all, I don't think it's a big deal.
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Our worth is so much greater than insecurities and comparisons.
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That's right, Gwen.
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And today, we'll talk about why we feel like we're not good enough and how to handle it.
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So sit back, relax, and enjoy our episode today.
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We've also made a free PDF with tips and vocabulary to help you on your English learning journey.
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Now, let's get started.
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So, Leo, have you ever wondered why you feel this way?
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Well, I think a big part of it comes from comparison.
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We see people on social media living perfect lives, and it's hard not to feel less than.
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Sometimes it's the pressure from our society.
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We are often told to look or act a certain way or achieve big things.
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As a result, we feel pressured to constantly follow high standards.
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For me, social media really messes with my head.
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One minute I'm scrolling, seeing someone's dream vacation or amazing career news, and the next I'm thinking, what am I even doing with my life?
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I get that.
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Social media shows only the highlights, not the struggles.
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You know, the filtered version of someone else's life.
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Right?
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I mean, everyone rarely posts about their bad days or their mistakes.
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For me, growing up, it wasn't even social media.
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It was seeing people at school who seemed to have everything.
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Looks, good grades, a lot of friends.
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Because of that, I kept comparing myself to them, thinking I would never measure up to them.
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I see.
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But after all, I understood that no one feels good enough all the time.
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Even the people who seem confident have moments of doubt.
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So, how do you know if you or someone else feels like they're not good enough?
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Let's start with the inner signs, the things we feel but might not share.
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One big thing here is self-doubt.
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It's that little voice in your head saying, you're not smart enough, or you'll never be good at this.
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Another thing is the need to stay perfect all the time.
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I read that an expert from the British Association for Counseling
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and Psychotherapy said people People who feel not good enough often pretend they're fine, even when they're struggling in relationships, family, or work.
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Is there another sign?
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It's seeking approval from others.
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You might find yourself asking, was that okay?
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After every little thing, just to hear someone say you did well.
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And this feeling often shows up on the outside, too.
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For example, some people avoid challenges because they're scared of failing.
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I noticed I did this when I'm feeling insecure, like I'm trying to make myself smaller so I don't upset anyone.
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I think the last sign is people-pleasing.
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Saying yes to things you don't want to do because you're scared that people will think less of you.
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If you see these signs in yourself, just know that it's totally okay.
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You're not alone, and there are ways to work through it.
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And if you see these signs in someone else, show them kindness.
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Let's take a look at five key phrases from today's discussion.
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Follow high standards.
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To do things in a way that is excellent or very good.
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Example, a good student follows high standards by studying hard and doing their homework.
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Filtered, something has been changed or edited, often to make it look or sound better.
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Example, photos on social media are often filtered to look perfect.
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Or, the news article was filtered to remove unwanted information.
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Measure up, to be good enough or equal to something.
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Example, is your new phone measuring up to your old one?
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Pretend, to act like something is true, even if it's not real.
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Example, let's pretend we're superheroes and save the day.
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Seek approval from To ask someone if they like what you're doing or if you're doing it right
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Example Don't just seek approval from everyone Do what you think is right
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Now let's discuss something more important It's understanding that our worth isn't about what we achieve Yes,
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this took me so long to figure out I used to think If I win that award or gain more money, I'll finally feel enough.
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But guess what?
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When I got those things, I wasn't satisfied at all.
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The feeling just didn't stick around.
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That's because true self-worth doesn't come from what we achieve or how others see us.
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It actually comes from inside ourselves.
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It's about recognizing your own true value.
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Things like your kindness, strengths, and the little things that make us unique.
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Exactly.
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Exactly.
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Sometimes we chase things just to prove we're good enough to the world.
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But let's take a short moment and look inside yourself.
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You yourself are a treasure already.
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You just don't know how valuable and worthy you are.
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Wow, that are such deep words, Leo.
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You don't usually speak like this.
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I know.
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Surprised, huh?
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I just like to act silly to make people laugh.
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Okay.
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Now, can you think of something about yourself that makes you proud, but isn't about achievement or success?
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I'd say my sense of humor.
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I love making people laugh.
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It really feels amazing when I can make someone smile, especially if they've been having a tough day.
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Seeing my friends smile because of something I said is the best feeling.
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What about you, Gwen?
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What makes you feel proud?
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Hmm, for me, it's my ability to listen.
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I think listening is such an amazing gift.
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People often tell me they feel seen and understood when we talk, and that means so much to me.
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It's not about fixing their problems.
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It's just being there for them.
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See?
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That's what I like about you, Gwen.
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It's not about your achievements.
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It's how you make people feel.
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You make them feel heard and valued, and that's so powerful.
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Thanks, Leo.
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I appreciate that.
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And I feel the same way about you.
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And what about our listeners?
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I'm sure each of you has your own gift to share with the world.
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Don't think about your insecurities.
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Just take some time to slow down and reflect.
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When you feel like you are ready, just tell us in the comments.
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I truly believe that once you start seeing your strength, you will stop comparing yourself to others.
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Wise words, Gwen.
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Once we start believing in our ability, there are a lot of ways to remind ourselves of our value.
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One of them is recognizing little achievements.
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It's not about the things you achieve because you want to compete with others.
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It's about valuing what makes you proud of yourself.
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Exactly.
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We often focus so much on big goals that we forget the small steps we've taken.
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Maybe you cleaned your space today, helped a friend, or even just got out of bed when you didn't feel like it.
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I used to think only big achievements mattered, but I've learned that every little step counts.
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For example, last week I finally organized my closet.
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It's not world-changing, but it felt so satisfying once completed.
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That's a great example.
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And remember, learning and growth take time.
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No one starts out perfect.
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Think about learning to ride a bike.
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How many times did you fall before you got it right?
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Right.
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Here is a quote I got from my experience.
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Failure isn't the end.
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It's part of the journey.
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Every mistake teaches us something.
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You're growing every day, even when it doesn't feel like it.
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So, celebrate the little things and be patient with yourself.
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You're doing better than you think.
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Let's move on with some useful phrases of today's podcast.
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Figure out to understand or solve something.
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Example.
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I couldn't figure out how to use the machine, so I asked a friend for help.
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Sense of humor.
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The ability to make things seem funny.
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Example.
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My friend has a great sense of humor.
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He always makes me laugh.
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Feel seen and understood.
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to feel like someone understands your feelings and experiences.
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Example, when I talked to my therapist, I felt seen and understood for the first time.
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Compete with, to try to be better than someone else.
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Example, many students compete with each other to get the highest grades.
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Every little step counts.
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This means that even small actions can make a big difference.
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Example, every little step counts when you're following your passion.
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Now let's ask our listeners a few questions.
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First question, when was the last time you felt proud of yourself?
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Think of a moment when you did something kind, tried something new, or pushed through a challenge.
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That feeling of pride is a reminder of your strength and value.
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Now, for the second question, how can you be kinder to yourself today?
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Maybe it's taking a break, thanking yourself for trying, or simply saying, I'm enough.
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Yeah, I feel like lots of people these days don't even know how to do that.
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Then, let's all learn to do this for the better.
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What are your thoughts on the questions?
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Share your answers in the comments below.
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We've had a great talk today, Gwen.
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Yeah, and I'm surprised at how wise you are.
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I always thought of you as the funny guy who loves jokes.
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I know, Gwen.
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Glad you see this side of me.
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I can do a lot, especially for our dear listeners.
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That's so sweet of you, Leo.
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You deserve to be valued also, Gwen.
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Your calmness and wisdom make you so reliable.
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Thank you.
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What do you think about today's topic?
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Let us know your thoughts and experiences in the comments as we'd love to hear from you.
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Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode.
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Goodbye and see you next time.
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Hey, everyone.
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Welcome back to Podcast and Chill on the Learn English Podcast channel.
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Thanks for tuning in again.
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We love having you here with us.
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You know, Gwen, one thing I've noticed is how much our audience loves topics about developing their thinking skills.
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That's true, Leo.
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It makes sense.
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They're probably looking for ways to improve their English learning process.
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Absolutely.
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Speaking of improving, Gwen, have you ever heard about growth mindset and fixed mindset?
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Of course, Leo.
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A growth mindset is all about believing that your abilities can grow with effort and learning, while a fixed mindset assumes your abilities are set in stone.
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Oh, so like, if I believe I can be the next big comedian by practicing every day, that's a growth mindset?
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Well, let's not get carried away, Leo.
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But yes, it's about believing in improvement.
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Great.
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Because today's topic is all about how adopting a growth mindset can help you in your language learning journey and beyond.
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That's right.
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Stick around and we'll break it all down.
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And don't forget, we've created a free PDF with tips and tricks.
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Check it out in the description or comments below.
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So, Gwen, growth mindset, it sounds fancy, but what is it really?
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Well, Leo, it's the belief that your abilities, intelligence, and skills can improve through hard work, learning, and persistence.
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So it's like saying, I'm not good at this yet.
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Exactly.
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It's about focusing on progress, not perfection.
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People with a growth mindset see mistakes as stepping stones, not roadblocks.
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That's refreshing.
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So, if I mess up my English grammar, it's not the end of the world?
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Not at all.
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It's just a chance to learn and get better.
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In fact, studies by Stanford professor Carol Dweck show that embracing challenges helps you grow stronger mentally.
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Oh, I've heard about her work.
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She talks about how kids who believe they can improve do better in school, right?
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Exactly.
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And it's not just kids.
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This works for adults, too.
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It's like the phrase, you're never too old to learn.
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I like that.
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But how do I actually develop this magical mindset?
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Start by seeing challenges as opportunities.
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For example, if you find English pronunciation difficult, think of it as a fun puzzle to solve.
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Oh, like trying to say, rural, without twisting my tongue?
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Exactly.
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And don't shy away from mistakes.
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Remember, every mistake is proof that you're trying.
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That's comforting.
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But sometimes, failure feels so personal.
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Like, what if I'm just not good at something?
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That's where you reframe your thinking.
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Instead of saying, I can't do this, ask, what can I do to get better?
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I like that perspective.
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So, effort plays a big role here?
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Absolutely.
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Think of effort like watering a plant.
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Without it, nothing grows.
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And what about persistence?
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How does that fit in?
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Persistence is key.
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It's like climbing a mountain.
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Slow and steady wins the race.
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You keep going, one step at a time, even when it's hard.
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So, no shortcuts then?
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Not if you want real growth.
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Shortcuts might give you quick results, but they don't build the long-term skills or resilience you need.
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But isn't it tempting to take the easy way out?
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Of course it is.
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But think about it this way.
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When you take a shortcut, you miss out on valuable lessons along the way.
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So, the journey is just as important as the destination?
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Exactly.
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Imagine learning English just by memorizing words for a test.
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You might pass the test, but will you be able to have a real conversation?
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I get it now.
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It's like building a house without a strong foundation.
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It might look good for a while, but it won't last.
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That's a great analogy, Leo.
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Growth mindset is about taking the time to build that strong foundation.
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And what about patience?
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Do you think it's connected to this whole no shortcuts idea?
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Definitely.
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Patience teaches you to value the effort you're putting in.
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It's like planting a tree.
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You water it every day, but it takes time to grow and bear fruit.
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Oh, I like that image.
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So every time I make a mistake, it's like watering my tree a little more?
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Exactly.
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Mistakes are part of growth.
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They show you're trying, and trying is the first step to improving.
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And when I finally see the fruit, it'll taste even sweeter because I've worked for it.
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That's the mindset.
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Growth isn't about perfection.
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It's about progress.
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Got it.
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From now on, no shortcuts for me.
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I'll water my tree every day, even if it takes time.
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And trust me, Leo, it'll be worth it.
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Let's take a closer look at five useful phrases from today's conversation.
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1. Growth mindset.
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A belief that abilities and skills can improve through effort and learning.
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Example.
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A growth mindset helps you see mistakes as lessons instead of failures.
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2. Face the music.
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to confront a difficult situation rather than avoiding it.
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Example.
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Instead of avoiding challenges, it's better to face the music and grow from them.
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3. A stepping stone.
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A step or stage that helps you move closer to your goal.
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Example.
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Every small success is a stepping stone toward greater achievements.
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4. Break the mold to do something differently and move away from traditional ways.
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Example, adopting a growth mindset means breaking the mold of thinking you're just not good enough.
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5. Go the extra mile to make extra effort to achieve something.
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Example, people with a growth mindset are willing to go the extra mile to improve themselves.
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Now let's dive into some discussion questions.
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Question one.
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What's one challenge you faced recently and how did you overcome it?
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For me, I tried learning a new skill, but it was frustrating at first.
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Then I reminded myself that it's all part of the process.
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That's a great example, Gwen.
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It's inspiring to hear how you stayed motivated.
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Question two.
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How can we apply a growth mindset in learning English?
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I think the key is to focus on progress, not perfection.
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Celebrate small wins, like mastering a new word or phrase.
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Absolutely.
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And don't be afraid to make mistakes.
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They're stepping stones to improvement.
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What about you, listeners?
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How do you approach challenges in learning?
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Let us know in the comments.
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So, Gwen, we've talked about growth mindset and overcoming challenges.
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What's next?
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Let's talk about feedback.
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Oh, feedback.
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You mean like when I tell a joke and you say it's not funny?
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Well, not quite.
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Feedback is a tool to improve, not just criticism.
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I guess that depends on how you take it, right?
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That's the key.
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A growth mindset helps us see feedback as an opportunity to grow, not a personal attack.
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That makes sense.
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So how can we take feedback positively?
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Start by asking yourself, what can I learn from this?
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Instead of thinking, they're being mean, think, how can this help me improve?
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I like that.
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It's like turning lemons into lemonade.
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That's right.
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Another thing to keep in mind is surrounding yourself with positivity.
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You mean like hanging out with people who lift you up?
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Yes, whether it's friends, colleagues, or a community, being around people who encourage a growth mindset can make a huge difference.
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Oh, so it's like planting yourself in good soil to grow.
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Good comparison, Leo.
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Okay, but what about practical steps?
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How do we actually build a a growth mindset.
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Start by trying something new every month.
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It could be learning a skill, trying a recipe, or even taking on a small project at work.
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That sounds fun.
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What else?
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Ask more questions instead of making negative statements.
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Instead of saying, I'm not good at this, ask, how can I get better at this?
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I like that.
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It's like flipping the script in your head.
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That's the idea.
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Finally, keep a journal of what you learn each day.
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That's great advice, Gwen.
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I feel like asking questions instead of focusing on what we can't do helps a lot.
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Yeah, Leo.
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It's all about shifting your perspective.
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For example, instead of saying, I can't understand this grammar, you could ask, what steps can I take to learn it better?
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Oh, like turning a wall into a door.
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That's powerful.
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Exactly.
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It's about seeing challenges as opportunities.
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What about when things don't work out, though?
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Like, you try something new and fail.
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That can be discouraging.
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That's a big part of a growth mindset, Leo.
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Instead of seeing failure as the end, you can view it as feedback.
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So it's like a roadmap.
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Failure shows you where to take a better route.
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For instance, if you try to speak English and make mistakes, that's not failure.
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It's a sign of progress.
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Hmm.
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I guess every mistake is like a stepping stone.
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a great way to think about it.
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Let's talk more about creating a supportive environment.
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You mean surrounding yourself with people who inspire you?
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Exactly.
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Think about it.
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If you're around people who encourage you, you're more likely to keep going even when things get tough.
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So it's like having a cheering squad for your goals.
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Yes, and it's also important to be that kind of person for others.
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Like a positivity ripple effect.
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That's right.
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The more positive energy you put out, the more you'll get back.
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And what about those practical steps we mentioned earlier?
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Let's expand on that.
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Sure.
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Here's a simple example.
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If you're learning a language, set a goal to learn five new words a day.
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It's small but adds up over time.
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That's manageable.
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What else?
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Another idea is to track your progress.
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Write down what you learn each day.
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It helps you see how far you've come.
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Oh, so it's like giving yourself a high five in writing.
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Yes.
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These small steps can make a big difference over time.
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Listeners, what small steps have helped you grow?
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Let us know in the comments.
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Let's pick five phrases from today's discussion that can inspire us.
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One, build from the ground up, to start something from the very beginning and develop it step by step.
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Example, she built her language skills from the ground up by practicing daily.
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2. Learn through trial and error.
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To improve by trying different methods and learning from mistakes.
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Example, he learned to cook through trial and error, testing different recipes until he got it right.
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3. Take ownership.
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To accept responsibility for your actions and focus on making progress.
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Example, taking ownership of her studies helped her improve her grades significantly.
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4. Keep pushing forward.
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To continue making progress even when things are difficult.
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Example.
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Despite the challenges, he kept pushing forward and achieved his goals.
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5. Shift your perspective.
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To change the way you view a situation to find new opportunities or solutions.
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Example.
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She shifted her perspective and saw challenges as opportunities to grow.
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Let's start with a question, Gwen.
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How do you personally step out of your comfort zone?
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Hmm.
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I'd say I challenge myself by trying something unfamiliar, like speaking in front of a crowd.
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It's nerve-wracking but rewarding.
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Wow, that sounds brave.
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For me, I try smaller things, like learning to bake a new cake.
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It's less scary but still makes me step out a little.
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That's a great start.
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Taking small steps is still growth.
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Okay, here's another one for you, Leo.
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What's one failure you've experienced, and how did you turn it around?
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I remember burning my first attempt at making bread, but instead of giving up, I tried again the next day.
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The second loaf was pretty good.
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That's a fun example.
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It shows persistence really pays off.
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And you, Gwen?
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How do you handle failure?
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I try to reflect on what went wrong and learn from it.
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Like when I didn't do well in a presentation, I practiced more and asked for feedback.
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It made all the difference.
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That's inspiring.
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What about you, audience?
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How do you overcome challenges or failure?
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Let us know in the comments below.
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That wraps up today's episode about building a growth mindset.
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We hope you feel inspired to embrace challenges, learn from feedback, and keep pushing forward.
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And remember, even small steps can lead to big changes.
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Don't forget to check out the free PDF in the description for tips and exercises to help you practice today's topic.
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Also, let us know in the comments, what's one step you'll take to develop your growth mindset starting today?
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We'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
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Thank you for joining us on Podcast and Chill, and we'll see you in the next episode.
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Take care, keep learning, and keep growing.
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Bye for now.
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Hey, Gwen, did you see the video I sent you last night?
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The one with the puppy stuck in a tiny box.
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You mean the one where it tries to wiggle out for five minutes and then just gives up?
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I laughed so hard I almost cried.
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Me too.
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It was so hilarious.
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Speaking of crying, do you remember the last time you cried for real?
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Not over a funny video.
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Hmm.
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I do, actually.
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It was a few weeks ago while watching a reunion clip.
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You know, the soldier returning home to surprise his family.
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Oh, that gets me every time.
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But wait a minute, Gwen.
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Isn't crying kind of a sign of weakness?
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You know, like people always say?
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Hmm.
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Good question.
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Is it really?
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Let's dive into that today.
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Welcome to today's episode of Podcast and Chill on the Learn English Podcast channel.
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I'm Gwen.
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And I'm Leo.
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Today we're discussing a very popular topic nowadays.
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Stop crying.
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Crying is losing.
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Are tears really something to be ashamed of, or do they tell a deeper story?
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Let's find out.
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Oh, and here's a little reminder for our listeners.
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In today's episode, we've prepared a free PDF with tips and to help you on your journey.
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Now let's get into it.
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All right, Gwen.
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Let's start with the basics.
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Why do we cry in the first place?
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Great question, Leo.
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Crying is actually the body's natural reaction to strong emotions.
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It's like our brain's way of saying, this is too much, let's release some pressure.
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Like letting steam out of a kettle?
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Exactly.
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And crying isn't just about being sad.
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We cry when we're really happy, like at weddings or when we receive good news.
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We cry when we're in pain or even when we're super stressed.
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Crying can happen when we feel anything strongly.
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But still, people often say, stop crying, be strong.
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Why do you think that is?
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Good point.
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That brings us to our second idea.
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Is crying really a sign of weakness?
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What do you think, Leo?
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Hmm.
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I'd say a lot of it comes from society, especially for men.
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We're taught from a young age that crying makes you look weak or less manly.
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Yes, exactly.
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It's such a harmful message, though.
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Think about it.
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If you're crying, it's because you're brave enough to face your feelings, not run away from them.
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You're not trying to hide from your emotions.
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You're right.
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It takes a lot of courage to say, I'm feeling really stressed right now.
522
And if we keep those feelings all locked inside us, they can grow bigger.
523
They might cause more problems later on.
524
It's like trying to hold in a balloon that's getting bigger and bigger.
525
Finally, it's going to pop.
526
Letting those feelings out, even if it's through crying, can help us feel better.
527
It also makes it easier to deal with things.
528
Crying is like letting air out of that balloon.
529
It feels much better and doesn't explode.
530
Absolutely.
531
So listeners, next time someone tells you to stop crying, think about this.
532
Tears don't make you weak.
533
They make you human.
534
They show that you care deeply and that you're alive.
535
Love that, Gwen.
536
All right, we've talked about why people cry and whether it's seen as weak.
537
Let's go in a different direction.
538
What about the benefits of crying?
539
Does crying actually help us?
540
Absolutely, Leo.
541
Crying has some surprising benefits.
542
First, let's talk about stress relief.
543
It's when our body says, let's flush this out and feel lighter.
544
That makes sense.
545
I've definitely felt better after a good cry, like a weight is lifted.
546
What else?
547
Another benefit is improved mood crying can bring a sense of relief almost like resetting your emotions you know
548
that feeling when the tears stop
549
and suddenly everything feels a bit clearer totally it's like the storm passes
550
and there's calmness afterward
551
but what about the social side of crying isn't it kind
552
of awkward to cry in front of others it can feel
553
that way but actually crying helps with social bonding when When you cry in front of someone who listens and cares, it builds trust and connection.
554
It's a way of saying, hey, I'm being real with you.
555
Wow.
556
So crying isn't just about you.
557
It's also about strengthening relationships.
558
Exactly, Leo.
559
So listeners, the next time you feel tears coming, remember this.
560
Crying helps your body, your mind, and even your connections with others.
561
It's not a sign of losing.
562
It's a step toward healing.
563
Well said, Gwen.
564
Crying is more than just an emotional response.
565
It's a powerful tool for relief and connection.
566
Let's all embrace it more often.
567
All right.
568
Now let's bring out some useful phrases in today's episode for our listeners.
569
Weakness.
570
A lack of strength or power.
571
A fault or flaw.
572
He believed that expressing his emotions was a sign of weakness and tried to hold them inside.
573
Release pressure to let out stress or tension that are locked inside.
574
After a hard day, talking to a friend helps me release pressure and feel calm.
575
Connecting and building a good relationship with others.
576
Being honest with friends is a great way to create social bonding.
577
Build trust to create strong belief or confidence in someone.
578
Example, when you keep your promises, you build trust with your friends.
579
Strengthening relationships, making relationships stronger and better.
580
Example, spending time with family during holidays is important for strengthening relationships.
581
Here are some useful questions for our listeners.
582
Question 1.
583
Why do we cry when we feel strong emotions?
584
Crying helps release strong feelings, like stress, pain, or even happiness.
585
It's the body's way of saying, let's let it out.
586
Question 2.
587
How can crying help build better relationships?
588
Crying can bring people closer together.
589
When you cry in front of someone who listens and cares, it helps build trust and connection.
590
Gwen, we've talked about why people cry and the benefits it can bring.
591
But here's something to think about.
592
Can crying actually show strength?
593
Absolutely, Leo.
594
Many people think crying is weak, but in reality, it's the opposite.
595
It takes courage to let others see your emotions and say, this is how I feel.
596
That's true.
597
It's not easy to be that open, especially when society often tells us to hide our feelings.
598
For example, some famous leaders and celebrities have shown their strength through tears.
599
New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has been seen crying in public while mentioning tragedies in her country, like the Christchurch mosque attacks.
600
Her tears showed her empathy and made people feel she truly cared.
601
And remember when athletes cry after winning a big game or losing one?
602
It shows they truly care about what they do.
603
Their tears inspire others to care, too.
604
Yes.
605
Crying isn't a weakness.
606
It's a way to connect with others and show you're human.
607
But Gwen, can there be a time when crying becomes too much?
608
That's a great question, Leo.
609
Crying is natural and healthy.
610
But if someone is crying very often or for no clear reason, it could mean something deeper is going on.
611
Like what?
612
It might be a sign of depression or anxiety.
613
These are struggles that can make people feel upset, sad, or stressed all the time.
614
And sometimes they cry because they don't know how else to cope with those feelings.
615
So it's more than just feeling sad for a day or two.
616
Exactly.
617
If someone finds it hard to stop crying or manage their emotions, they should talk to someone they trust.
618
This could be a friend, a family member, or even a counselor.
619
That makes sense.
620
It's like asking for help when your car isn't working right.
621
Sometimes you just need a mechanic for your emotions.
622
Perfect example, Leo.
623
Now let's talk about how to support someone who's crying.
624
What do you usually do if a friend starts crying?
625
Hmm, I think I'd tell them, don't cry.
626
It'll be okay.
627
That's kind, but there's a better way to help.
628
First, sit with them and listen.
629
Don't rush to judge or fix things right away.
630
Just let them talk if they want to.
631
So just being there can make a big difference?
632
Absolutely.
633
Then offer comfort, maybe a kind word or a hug if they're okay with it.
634
And instead of guessing what they need, ask them.
635
You could say, how can I help you right now?
636
That sounds simple but powerful.
637
Just showing you care means so much.
638
Exactly.
639
So listeners, remember, crying is a part of being human.
640
But if it feels like too much, don't hesitate to ask for help.
641
And if someone you care about is crying, be there for them with kindness and patience.
642
Well said, Gwen.
643
A little empathy can go a long way.
644
Let's all practice that in our own lives.
645
Let's review some useful phrases in today's episode.
646
Hide your feelings.
647
To not show how you feel to others.
648
Molly doesn't want her friends to worry, so she hides her feelings and smiled.
649
Cope with, to deal with something difficult.
650
After losing his job, my brother found it hard to cope with the stress.
651
Reach out to someone, to ask for help or support.
652
If you ever feel lonely, don't be afraid to reach out to someone you trust.
653
Rush to judge, to quickly form an opinion without thinking carefully.
654
Before knowing the whole story, Lily rushed to judge her sister unfairly.
655
Talk it out.
656
To express thoughts or feelings by talking about them.
657
Sometimes you just need to talk it out to feel better.
658
Now let's move on to some questions to help you understand today's topic.
659
Question 1.
660
Why do some people think crying shows strength?
661
Crying shows strength because you must be brave enough to express your emotions and be open with others.
662
even when society tells us to hide our feelings.
663
Question two.
664
What should you do if a friend starts crying?
665
In my opinion, I would sit with them, listen, and offer comfort.
666
I would ask them, how can I help you right now to show you care?
667
We'd love to hear your thoughts on these questions, so feel free to share them with us in the comments.
668
All right, that's it for today's episode of Podcast and Chill.
669
Keep it in mind that crying is not a failure.
670
It's just your body and mind healing.
671
It's okay to feel and let your tears flow.
672
Embrace your emotions and know that crying is a natural part of being human.
673
If you ever need to cry, don't hold back.
674
It's a way to feel better.
675
Thank you so much for listening.
676
We believe in you and we'll see you in the next episode of Podcast and Chill.
677
Keep being kind to yourself and take care.
678
Welcome back to Podcast and Chill, everyone.
679
I'm Leo.
680
And I'm Gwen.
681
Today, we won't chill, though.
682
What?
683
What do you mean, Leo?
684
Well, because today we're diving into something juicy.
685
What's that?
686
Stop being a victim.
687
I mean, it's always someone else's fault, right?
688
Ah, yes, Leo.
689
Because blaming the weather for your burnt toast is totally normal.
690
Hey, that toaster had it out for me.
691
But seriously, victim mentality.
692
It's sneaky, relatable, and let's face it, we've all been there.
693
I know, right?
694
But staying in that mindset?
695
Not a good idea.
696
We'll break it down.
697
Why it happens, the signs, and how to kick it to the curb.
698
No more fooling around.
699
Let's get into it.
700
Gwen, let's kick this off.
701
What even is a victim mentality?
702
A victim mentality is when you believe everything bad that happens to you is out of your control.
703
Like the world is conspiring against you?
704
It's kind of like that.
705
That sounds bad.
706
But to be honest, this happens to everyone, even us. Of course.
707
Anyone can fall into it, especially after a tough experience like losing a job, a breakup, you name it.
708
So what's the problem with it?
709
The problem is when you let it define you.
710
Why is it problematic, though?
711
While it might feel that way sometimes, staying in that mindset can hold you back.
712
When will this mindset be serious?
713
It's when it becomes your default way of thinking.
714
So it's less about what happens and more about how you react?
715
You're right.
716
The key is not to let it take over.
717
You've got to pick yourself up and figure out what you can control.
718
I get it.
719
But how do you know if you're stuck in a victim mindset?
720
Let me spell it out for you.
721
First, people with a victim mindset tend to always blame someone else.
722
It's not my fault, becomes their go-to line.
723
Like when I blamed my neighbor for my Wi-Fi being slow.
724
Leo, I'm sure your neighbor wasn't stealing your bandwidth.
725
Fair enough.
726
Another sign is feeling completely powerless, like there's nothing you can do to change your situation.
727
Oh, like throwing your hands up and saying, it is what it is, instead of trying to fix it?
728
Yep.
729
And here's another big one.
730
What's that big one?
731
It's constantly comparing yourself to others and feeling like you drew the short straw in life.
732
That media trap.
733
Scrolling through Instagram and thinking, why does everyone else have it together?
734
Yes.
735
It's exhausting and keeps you stuck in a negative loop.
736
I get it.
737
The thing is, these signs are red flags, telling you it's time to shift gears.
738
So folks, if you see these signs in you, it's time to snap out of it.
739
To do that, I think we should tackle the root of the problem.
740
You're right.
741
Why do people end up in the victim role?
742
I mean, it's not exactly a place you'd want to stay, right?
743
True, but sometimes it feels easier to stay there.
744
Care to elaborate on that?
745
trauma or failures can really mess with how you see things.
746
Really?
747
Scientifically proved.
748
A study by Martin Seligman shows that when people feel powerless for too long, they just stop trying to change things.
749
Too bad.
750
And it's not just about giving up.
751
There are more?
752
Well, another study by Enns, Sank, and Kaplan talks about how society sometimes rewards victimhood.
753
Seriously?
754
How does that even work?
755
Usually, victims might get sympathy, support, or even financial help, and that can unintentionally make them hold on to that victim identity.
756
So they take advantage of the situation in a bad way.
757
Pretty much.
758
What's worse is the victims might start seeing life through a victim lens.
759
They start looking for situations that prove their point and ignoring the good stuff.
760
But it won't be beneficial for them in the long run.
761
Certainly.
762
The victim mindset does come with a lot of damage.
763
It's time for some new words and phrases.
764
First, fall into something.
765
It means to start doing something by chance or without planning.
766
For example, he fell into the role of manager after the previous one left unexpectedly.
767
Second, hold somebody back.
768
It means to stop someone from making progress or achieving something.
769
For example, her fear of failure is holding her back from pursuing her dreams.
770
Third, pick oneself up.
771
It means to recover from a setback or difficult situation.
772
For example, after losing the game, the team quickly picked themselves up and focused on the next match.
773
Fourth, draw the short straw.
774
It means to be given the least desirable task or situation.
775
For example, I had to draw the short straw and clean up after the party.
776
Finally, hold on to something.
777
It means to keep something tightly or to keep believing in something.
778
For example, hold on to your dreams and never give up on them.
779
Now let's discuss two questions about our topic.
780
The first question is, why do you think people fall into a victim mentality?
781
I think it happens when past trauma or failures make people feel powerless
782
and they just stop trying to change things that's an insightful
783
point second question how can someone break free from the victim mentality they should focus on what they can control
784
and stop comparing themselves to others what do you think listeners let us know in the comments below
785
What are some real damages when someone's stuck in this loop?
786
A victim mindset doesn't just hold you back.
787
It affects everything.
788
Your relationships, your goals, even your health.
789
That sounds exhausting.
790
How does it mess with relationships?
791
Well, think about it.
792
If someone's always blaming others or acting helpless, it gets frustrating for the people around them.
793
Totally valid.
794
if I were their friend, I would start pulling away.
795
Yeah, let's say they're basically the person who reigns on their own parade.
796
Any other harms?
797
It also holds you back from growing.
798
How?
799
If you were stuck in the mindset of nothing I do matters, would you want to take risks or try new things?
800
I guess.
801
No?
802
That's it.
803
And that's why the victim mindset limits your potential big time.
804
I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
805
But the good news, once you drop that mindset, the weight lifts, and things start to click into place.
806
Yeah, let's get real.
807
How do we break free from this victim mindset?
808
It's not like we can just snap our fingers and fix it.
809
I don't expect it to be that easy.
810
The first step is realizing you can change.
811
Can you be more specific?
812
Well, one can start paying attention to those thoughts like, this is out of my control, or it's always someone else's fault. And then?
813
And then ask yourself what you can do about it.
814
I'm not sure I get how that works.
815
A study by Judge and Bono showed
816
that people who believe they can control their own lives are way more likely to take charge and overcome obstacles.
817
So, it's like taking the wheel of your own life instead of letting it drift?
818
Nice metaphor.
819
And start small.
820
Tiny changes can lead to big shifts in how you think and act.
821
I get the whole taking control thing, but what if things don't go perfectly?
822
What do you mean?
823
I mean, it's hard not to blame anyone for some setbacks.
824
I might even blame myself.
825
That's where gratitude really helps.
826
How does that help?
827
Even on those tough days, try to find something small to appreciate, like a good cup of coffee or a nice walk.
828
It could be anything, really.
829
And where is the magic?
830
Focusing on the little positives can help you feel better and reset your mindset.
831
So, even if everything's falling apart, I should still look for something to be thankful for?
832
It might sound cheesy, but it really works.
833
Okay.
834
I guess I will have to try that out.
835
You should also try to take full responsibility for your life.
836
That would be hard, especially when one's already deep in the victim mindset.
837
I know.
838
But now that we're well aware of how things are, let's fight against the urge to blame.
839
And guys, remember that things take time.
840
Don't rush into it.
841
You're right.
842
Don't beat yourself up if you still blame somebody or yourself for your mistakes.
843
As long as you know you have the victim mindset and want to snap out of it, you'll be fine.
844
Let's break down some more vocabulary.
845
First, rain on one's parade.
846
It means to spoil someone's plans or happiness.
847
For example, I didn't mean to rain on your parade, but the concert is canceled.
848
Second, click into place.
849
It means that something starts to make sense or work perfectly.
850
For example, after weeks of practice, everything finally clicked into place during the performance.
851
Third, break free from something.
852
It means to escape or gain freedom from something holding you back.
853
For example, she worked hard to break free from her bad habits.
854
Fourth, fall apart.
855
It means to stop working or become emotionally or physically broken.
856
For example, their plan fell apart when they ran out of funding.
857
Finally, snap out of it.
858
It means to quickly recover from a negative emotion or mindset.
859
For example, you've been feeling down all day.
860
Snap out of it and let's do something fun.
861
Now let's discuss two questions about our topic.
862
The first question is, how can the victim mindset harm relationships?
863
It pushes people away because constantly blaming others or acting helpless can be frustrating for those around you.
864
Fair enough.
865
The second question is, what's one small step someone can take to break free from the victim mindset.
866
One can start by recognizing thoughts like, it's not my fault, and ask, what can I do about this situation?
867
And you listeners, what are your thoughts?
868
Drop your answers in the comments below.
869
All right, Gwen, we've covered a lot today.
870
But before we wrap up, what's the takeaway here?
871
The biggest takeaway is that you don't have to be a victim of your circumstances.
872
You have the power to change your story.
873
Yeah, it's easy to get stuck in that victim mentality, but the good news is we can break free from it.
874
We want to hear from you, listeners.
875
After hearing this episode, think about one thing you want to change in your life.
876
Maybe it's taking responsibility, practicing gratitude, or just making a small shift in how you view challenges.
877
And if you feel like sharing, let us know what positive change you've made or want to make.
878
You've got the power to rewrite your story, so go for it.
879
That's right.
880
You're the author of your own life.
881
Let's make it a good one.
882
Hi, everyone, and welcome to today's podcast.
883
I'm Nathan, your host, here to guide you through practical ideas that can transform the way you see life.
884
Have you ever felt like, No matter how much you achieve, it's never enough.
885
Like you're always chasing something just out of reach.
886
In today's episode, we'll explore this topic.
887
We will hear a conversation between Holland, a successful businessman who feels unfulfilled, and Jimmy, a bakery owner who finds joy in his everyday life.
888
What's their secret?
889
And more importantly, how can you stop chasing and start feeling enough?
890
Let's get started to find out right now.
891
I can't wait.
892
Wow, Jimmy, it's been so long.
893
I see you still run your little bakery.
894
How's business?
895
Yeah, I still do.
896
Business is good, but more importantly, life is good.
897
I enjoy every moment of it.
898
That's great to hear.
899
But don't you ever feel stuck?
900
Like, don't you want more?
901
More?
902
What do you mean?
903
You know, more money, a bigger shop, more success.
904
I always feel like I need more to be truly happy.
905
Ah, I see.
906
That's the difference between us, my friend.
907
I believe in an abundant mindset.
908
It means believing that opportunities, success, and happiness are unlimited.
909
You don't have to chase more to feel enough.
910
But if you don't push for more, won't you fall behind?
911
Not at all.
912
An abundant mindset isn't about being lazy or giving up on success.
913
It's about knowing that happiness and success aren't limited resources.
914
There's enough for everyone.
915
I don't know.
916
I feel like if I don't keep pushing, someone else will take what's mine.
917
That's a scarcity mindset, Holland.
918
It makes you feel like there's never enough.
919
Time, money, or opportunities.
920
But that's reality, isn't it?
921
If I don't work harder, I lose.
922
Not necessarily.
923
Think about it.
924
Do you ever feel truly satisfied?
925
Not really.
926
Even when I reach my goals, I just set new ones.
927
I always feel like I'm running but never arriving.
928
That's exactly the problem.
929
I think here are some signs of a scarcity mindset.
930
Firstly, you always worry about losing what you have.
931
Moreover, you feel jealous when someone else succeeds.
932
Finally, you focus on what you don't have instead of appreciating what you do.
933
It seems right to me.
934
That sounds exhausting.
935
It is.
936
But the good news is you can change it.
937
So what happens if I start thinking abundantly?
938
A lot of things.
939
You begin to see opportunities instead of limits.
940
Also, you focus on solutions instead of problems.
941
In addition, you can build positive relationships instead of competition.
942
Sounds nice, but is it practical?
943
Absolutely.
944
Take my bakery, for example.
945
When I started, I was afraid of competition.
946
But instead of worrying, I built relationships with other bakers.
947
We shared tips, supported each other, and guess what?
948
We all thrived.
949
Oh, I never thought of it that way.
950
But how can I start it?
951
Try with small steps.
952
You can start with practicing gratitude.
953
Write down three things you're grateful for every day.
954
Even small things count.
955
Alright, I'll try to do it every day.
956
What's next?
957
It's sharing with others.
958
Help a friend, mentor someone, or donate.
959
Giving makes you feel richer.
960
And the most important thing is, stop comparing yourself.
961
That sounds hard for me.
962
I know.
963
This is difficult, especially for a perfectionist like you.
964
But, you know, your journey is unique.
965
Focus on your own growth.
966
I just worry about losing everything I've built.
967
That's normal, but holding on to fear keeps you stuck.
968
You need to let go.
969
How?
970
Meditation, deep breathing, or even writing your thoughts down helps.
971
When you let go of fear, you make space for new opportunities.
972
But what if someone else gets the success I want?
973
That's a common fear.
974
But let me ask you, have you ever seen someone's success and felt jealous?
975
Yeah, all the time.
976
It's hard not to compare.
977
I get it.
978
But think of it this way.
979
Success isn't a limited resource.
980
Just because someone else wins doesn't mean you lose.
981
Their success proves that it's possible, and that means you can do it too.
982
I never saw it that way, but it still feels tough.
983
Start small.
984
Today, instead of feeling envious, try genuinely congratulating someone.
985
Send a message, leave a comment, or just say, hey, I'm happy for you.
986
Notice how it changes your mindset.
987
Really?
988
That does sound easier than forcing myself to feel happy right away.
989
Exactly.
990
The more you celebrate others, the more positive and open to opportunities you become.
991
You're right.
992
I'll stop waiting for the perfect moment.
993
It doesn't exist, right?
994
I couldn't agree more.
995
I like that.
996
I'll start small, maybe with gratitude today.
997
That's the spirit.
998
Small steps lead to big changes.
999
You've got this.
1000
Let's tune into the question session to understand the topic better.
1001
The first question.
1002
Do you agree that success isn't a competition?
1003
Why or why not?
1004
I believe success isn't a competition.
1005
Everyone has their own journey and success is not limited.
1006
Helping others and learning from them leads to growth.
1007
Instead of competing, focus on becoming the best version of yourself.
1008
The second question, how do you deal with competition in your daily life?
1009
I focus on self-improvement instead of comparing myself to others.
1010
I see competition as motivation rather than a threat.
1011
Building good relationships and staying confident in my own path help me handle it positively.
1012
What about you?
1013
Please share what you learned from the podcast in the comment section below.
1014
I want to hear your thoughts.
1015
Let's learn some important vocabulary with me now.
1016
Firstly, we have run something.
1017
It is not running in a race.
1018
The meaning of it is to manage or operate a business.
1019
Jimmy runs a small bakery shop downtown.
1020
Let's move on to push for more.
1021
It is to keep striving for greater success or achievements.
1022
Holland is always pushing for more in his career.
1023
Next, we have fall behind.
1024
Its meaning is not to keep up with progress or competition.
1025
If we don't update our skills, we'll fall behind in the industry.
1026
What about limited resources?
1027
A fixed or restricted amount of something.
1028
Many companies struggle due to limited resources.
1029
Then we have the phrase scarcity mindset.
1030
It's the belief that there is never enough of something.
1031
Holland's scarcity mindset made him afraid to share his ideas.
1032
Great job.
1033
Please watch till the end to understand today's topic clearly.
1034
Alright, let's play a little game before wrapping this episode.
1035
Close your eyes and imagine your dream life.
1036
Where are you?
1037
Maybe you're on a beach, feeling the warm sun, the soft sand under your feet.
1038
No stress, no deadlines, just peace.
1039
Sounds nice, right?
1040
Now, here's the big question.
1041
What's stopping you from living that life?
1042
Is it fear?
1043
Doubt?
1044
A belief that success is always just out of reach?
1045
Recognizing these thoughts is the first step to changing them.
1046
Finally, shift your mindset.
1047
Imagine yourself already succeeding.
1048
Feel the confidence, the joy, the ease.
1049
When you train your brain to believe it's possible, you start making choices that bring that vision to life.
1050
Ready to turn this visualization into action?
1051
It's your own game.
1052
And that's the end of today's episode.
1053
Remember, success and happiness aren't limited.
1054
They grow when you shift your mindset.
1055
If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to follow for more inspiring talks.
1056
And hey, why not take a moment today to appreciate what you already have?
1057
Big changes start with small steps.
1058
Until next time, keep growing, keep believing, and most importantly, enjoy the journey.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This video has 1058 sentences and 8827 words to shadow. The speech runs for 57:25. The speaker talks at a natural 154 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 86% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| mindset noun | /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/ | A way of thinking; an attitude or opinion, especially a habitual one. |
| listener noun | /ˈlɪs(ə)nɚ/ | Someone who listens, especially to a speech or a broadcast. |
| podcast noun | /ˈpɑdˌkæst/ | A program, especially an audio program, produced on a regular basis, delivered over the Internet in a compressed digital format and designed for playback on… |
| topic noun | /ˈtɑpɪk/ | A subject; a theme; a category or general area of interest. |
| emotion noun | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | A person's internal state of being and involuntary physiological response to an object or a situation, based on or tied to physical state and sensory data. |
| phrase noun | /ˈfɹeɪ̯z/ | A short written or spoken expression. |
| chill verb | /tʃɪl/ | To lower the temperature of something; to cool. |
| tear verb | /tɛɹ/ | To rend (a solid material) by holding or restraining in two places and pulling apart, whether intentionally or not; to destroy or separate. |
| feedback noun | /ˈfiːdˌbæk/ | Critical assessment of a process or activity or of their results. |
| compare verb | /kəmˈpɛɚ/ | To assess the similarities and differences between two or more things [“to compare X with Y”]. Having made the comparison of X with Y, one might have found it… |
| achievement noun | /əˈt͡ʃiːv.mənt/ | The act of achieving or performing; a successful performance; accomplishment. |
| inspire verb | /ɪnˈspaɪə(ɹ)/ | To infuse into the mind; to communicate to the spirit; to convey, as by a divine or supernatural influence; to disclose preternaturally; to produce in, as by… |
| mentality noun | /mɛnˈtæləti/ | A mindset; a way of thinking; a set of beliefs. |
| belief noun | /bɪˈliːf/ | Mental acceptance of a claim as true. |
| happiness noun | /ˈhæpinɪs/ | The emotion of being happy; joy; elation. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| fall apart verb | To disintegrate, to break into pieces. |
| fall behind verb | To be late (for a regular event) |
| figure out verb | To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce. |
| give up verb | To surrender (someone or something); to inform on (someone). |
| push forward verb | To continue to act or do something, especially with a lot of effort |
| find out verb | To discover, as by asking or investigating. |
| stick around verb | To stay; to linger; to remain. |
| write down verb | To produce or set (something) down in writing; to record something. |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 205 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, you're, I'm. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: strengthen /ˈstɹɛŋ(k)θən/, empathy /ˈɛmpəθi/, worthy /ˈwɝ.ði/, breathe /bɹiːð/, athlete /ˈæθ.liːt/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, rush /ɹʌʃ/, patience /ˈpeɪ̯.ʃəns/, perfection /pɚˈfɛk.ʃən/, ownership /ˈoʊnɚʃɪp/
- Long words — get the stress right: mentality /mɛnˈtæləti/, importantly /ɪmˈpɔɹ.tənt.li/, vocabulary /vəˈkæb.jə.lə.ɹi/, positively /ˈpɑ.zɪ.tɪv.li/, necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like mindset, listener, podcast.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Conditional sentences if + clause, will/would + verb — a condition and its result | if I were their friend, I would start · if you don't push for more, won't you · If we don't update our skills, we'll fall |
| “Used to” used to + verb — a past habit or state that is no longer true | used to think |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | We've also made · has been changed · we've taken |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | are often told · has been changed · are often filtered |
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.