Shadowing Practice: How to Keep the Conversation Going After “HOW ARE YOU?” - Learn English Speaking with Video

What's up, Global Citizens?

Welcome to another Real Life English lesson.

And today you're going to learn a simple step-by-step guide to keeping the conversation flowing in English

and avoid getting stuck after the infamous words, Hi, how are you?

And if you happen to be new here, hello, my name is Izzy.

I'm an English learner, just like you.

And after a decade of teaching English, I decided to join Ethan

and our other fluency coaches here who create these Real Life English lessons to share with you my first-hand experience,

my real-life experience, speaking English as a non-native.

Now, I feel fortunate for having made hundreds of friends in my life

and the many jobs that I had early in my career, and of all these people that I met, I was able to actually develop a friendship with them by doing the things that I'll talk about today,

by knowing how to keep the conversation flowing in English.

Let's get started.

So today we're addressing the biggest pain point that I know when it comes to developing communication skills in practice,

that is how to get past the how are you question, right?

And people get stuck because usually like the idea of small talk is exactly that, it's superficial, it's small.

But if you actually want to develop that into a real conversation, you need to go deeper, you need to get past that.

So how do you do that?

Well, as I was saying earlier, I think I'm a little bit of a conversationalist myself.

You know, I always find myself talking with different people and having these longer talks.

So I thought about sharing with you all that experience today.

And this is gonna happen in two steps.

So the first step is all about the magic of breaking the ice.

Now, the usual advice

that you find online breaking the ice comes in the form

of questions just like how are you how's your day going how's the weather

and I personally think these questions suck I gotta be honest

because all they do is put the listener

and yourself in a situation where you feel like I've been through these through these conversations

that they they're not going anywhere and it's not a good feeling

so it doesn't make you excited about what's coming and what's next

and in my experience if you just say something more honest more even surprising more authentic that's

so much better

and it doesn't need to be a question it could be a statement you know um

and it's also a moment of vulnerability when you just go ahead

and share something that's going on with you uh

or uh your opinion on something that you both are experiencing at that moment that makes it a lot more personal.

So I'm going to give you some examples here to make this a lot more concrete.

And the formula here, if there is any formula to this, as you meet this person, you're going to look around and just feel your feelings,

you know, about a certain fact of something that you're experiencing.

And then you're going to also think of what's your opinion about that fact.

Let me give you this example.

So I was at a party last weekend and I noticed that of the food that was available, the drinks and the food,

the sweet ones, none were sugar free.

Obviously, I mean, people normally don't care about that.

But right now I'm not eating sugar.

So naturally, you know, I felt that it's like, oh, man.

And when I feel things, usually when there's people around me, I sometimes use that for making conversation.

uh and that's something that you can do you know it's a fact

that there's no sugar-free options there that's a fact great what's your opinion about

that if you feel strongly about it you know so

if you just feel your feelings and

if you observe yourself uh what's going through your mind that's

great topics for conversation a lot of times right i feel like we don't share enough

so that's one example but i could give you more examples so when i was in portugal i was visiting

Lisbon and some other towns with Ethan and some friends from work.

I was, I remember being on the train by myself

when I was going to the airport back and there was a person sitting next to me that, you know, they didn't seem like unfriendly,

you know, so I just felt like giving it a try because I was impressed by the views, you know, everything that I was seeing.

And I didn't know that you could actually cross an entire country in just like one train ride practically, you know, so quickly and um that was a thought

that was running in my head i was like why not

share this with this person like out of nowhere you know

and i didn't even say hello

or anything i just looked at them it's like you know

like i didn't know you could cross the country in just a single day i said

that in portuguese i'm in portugal right and i'm brazilian

so i speak portuguese and then that was enough for opening up the conversation

because that's the point of this first step the the ice breaker

when done right is that it opens up the conversation and it helps you gain momentum

It helps you strike up a conversation the right way.

It's a nice phrase, by the way.

To strike up a conversation is exactly this, right?

It's kind of visual, like it's striking, you know?

So make it striking.

Make it unexpected and say something that feels honest and real.

Hey, guys.

Let me quickly interrupt this lesson to ask you a question.

Do you feel like you can understand what I'm saying, what Ethan says in these lessons, but you can't speak quite like we do?

You know that you can understand all the words but

when it's time for you to use them they don't come to you well

if that happens it's just

because all of these words they just exist in your passive vocabulary

so in order for you to transfer these words to your

active vocabulary you need to use them you need to practice

and that's why we created the real-life app

so you can master all the key expressions that useful expressions that we use in these lessons

in a way that's super convenient.

You can do it in 10 to 15 minutes a day.

And I want to invite you right now to try the app for free by clicking the link in the description below.

It'll take you directly to this lesson over there.

And I'll see you on the other side.

Let's move on now to the second step of this two-step guide.

Once you're past this first step, now you want to be an explorer.

I think this is so great, this whole mindset of being an explorer that it actually brought it to our lessons here with Ethan.

We were chatting about a year ago, I think, about how to make great lessons for you guys.

We work hard to create these.

And I realized maybe the mindset that I'm having here when Ethan is presenting something,

an idea of his or a story of his is wrong because who am I in this conversation?

And I noticed I need to be an explorer, right?

100

I need to be curious.

101

That's great value to have as well not just in conversation

102

but like in any situation

103

that could to be ready to learn you know to you may have your own convictions

104

but what else you like what is something

105

that you don't know about the person you're talking to

106

or the situation so being an explorer imagine yourself exploring the territory just helps a lot

107

and this is what you can do in a conversation once it opens up.

108

You can ask all these questions.

109

So for example, last year in December I went to a concert of this band that I'm a huge fan of, probably my favorite band called Dream Theater,

110

it's a rock band, and I had never seen them live.

111

So I actually flew to Rio, I'm nowhere close to Rio de Janeiro, I'm really far, it's like a three-hour flight I think,

112

but I went there because it's like I don't know if I would have any other chance it's a

113

it's a 30 year old band I think

114

so I was in line waiting to get you know into the the concert hall

115

and there are all these people there waiting with me now obviously in

116

that kind of situation the topic for the conversation is easier right we're all there uh

117

and I know there's one thing in common among all those people there right

118

that is we like this band uh

119

and by the way that's another really great thing about the first step

120

that is you're sharing something

121

that will make you feel more human to other persons to

122

feel like they're more like you in the same sense

123

that in the second step we are taking advantage of these similarities

124

and these values we share these stories we share these experiences to connect even more

125

so there's so many questions that i i you know i had to ask

126

and topics to approach for example uh what song do you think you're going to play tonight?

127

Like, what's your favorite song?

128

And do you think you're going to play it?

129

Or their drummer, the old drummer's back, you know, that's so amazing.

130

There's like many stories and gossip around that too.

131

Or even like traveling to the location of the show.

132

For me, it was a very long trip, but I know other people there, they traveled by bus, you know, and it's just a huge adventure.

133

And we shared our travel stories too.

134

Or even when was your first show

135

so you see there's this range of questions that you can ask

136

that allow you to explore the territory the territory is the

137

dream theater show great what is there to know about it

138

what is there to know about this person in regards to

139

that topic and the cool thing is also that you can connect

140

topics from one to another and make the conversation just go really a different direction

141

um you can say that's like going off on a tangent when you are like escaping that that uh

142

known territory into something that was not planned right so do

143

that it makes conversations great like that's one of the things

144

that we love about podcasts right that

145

when it's just like it doesn't follow a script

146

and make a conversation like that oftentimes i think

147

when we feel like oh man this conversation was

148

so great i wish i had recorded it and made it into a podcast

149

is exactly because you were just wildly exploring it, I would say, right?

150

So that's my tip there when it comes to what you do after you break the ice.

151

Now, if you want to think about a formula for this too, is you can ask questions.

152

It's one thing.

153

I just explain how to do it.

154

Or you can just continue sharing more.

155

And that'll allow them to ask you more questions, right?

156

It's kind of like a game, but it's not a competitive game.

157

You're not trying to impress this person, right if you actually try and press them you're going to be in your head

158

so don't just when uh do you want to win playing this game be vulnerable that's winning

159

so it's not a competitive game it's a collaborative game you share one thing

160

that a person shares another thing and you just keep going

161

and it's fun

162

and by the time you're done you're just more close to this person maybe you've made a friend

163

so this is what i do in most conversations i get into with strangers that i really want to to connect with.

164

Now there's one thing that you need to be cautious when you get to this part of the conversation, that is, you don't wanna be too talkative, right?

165

I mean, unless the other person is like listening and you feel they're engaged, we'll talk about that in just a little bit, how to really understand if the person is engaged.

166

But in most cases, you want to make it more balanced, right?

167

Like it's, again, it's collaboration in getting to know each other.

168

So remember that you have two ears and one mouth, so we need to use them proportionally.

169

That means maybe listen twice as much as you talk.

170

But if you do that, the other person is going to be talking twice as much as they speak.

171

So you see, but it's just like a mindset or principle to keep in mind

172

that maybe it's more about the other person than it's about you. So principle.

173

Before we continue, I just want to tell you that

174

if you feel that your problem with having natural conversations in English is with either vocabulary that you don't have enough vocabulary,

175

that you don't know the words that you need to use, or that you're just simply afraid of speaking English, I'm going to be leaving links in the description below in the show notes to two lessons

176

that we have already created on these two separate topics.

177

So click the link once you're done watching this lesson if you feel that these are issues that you usually go through.

178

Now let's get into some frequently asked questions that I see a lot

179

that I hear a lot from students from learners friends who are learning English

180

they asked me these things and decided to compile all of these

181

and to start I have a question here from our producer

182

in the studio T Thiago he's an English learner just like you just like me

183

and he had this question how what can you do to

184

not be in your head you know to not get anxious

185

and just like be thinking too much about what you want to say you know how's the other person viewing me?

186

What do they think of me?

187

All these questions that don't do anything for you.

188

How can you prevent that from happening?

189

Well, I think this is all about mindset.

190

I could give you formulas, right?

191

I could give you maybe exercises even,

192

but the best thing in my experience that you can do to change this is just like really stopping and just reflecting, thinking like, what am I doing here?

193

What's the point of this?

194

Am I trying to impress this person?

195

To be honest with yourself like

196

if you are why why do you care like why is

197

that so important

198

and that's going to allow you to change your convictions like

199

change what you the reason why you do things once you change

200

that everything else changes right once you connect to a different purpose of why we do things it's natural

201

that it'll allow you to just like

202

and change the way you behave it's much easier to change

203

the reality of things by changing your beliefs rather than just trying to force a certain action or behavior.

204

So what is the mentality here?

205

What is the mindset that you need to adopt?

206

It's the one that we're just talking about is exploring.

207

It's connecting over perfection, right?

208

Connection over perfection.

209

It's the idea that this person is a human being,

210

just like you, that you are not the center of the universe also, right?

211

That's why I was saying you have two ears, only one mouth, and make the other person the center of your universe, at least for that moment.

212

And that'll be great because people love talking about themselves.

213

So they'll feel like they're really connected with you.

214

And they did.

215

And you too, if you have empathy as well.

216

That's even another question that I had saved here is I heard that if you are more empathic or empathetic, that's the key.

217

And yeah, like once you learn what the person about what the person is going through, and if you already know, start the conversation from there.

218

why not talk about the maybe even like the elephant in

219

the room you know maybe you're going through something really difficult

220

like a tough time talk about it first it address

221

that they'll feel more respected you know and you also

222

if there's something that you can help them by doing you can get into

223

that too if you know if you don't know it'll feel like you don't care

224

so I think empathy is huge if you know and

225

if you don't know get to know

226

and then you realize what you need to realize and about

227

that another person asked me about active listening

228

and they're asking me like how to develop active listening and

229

if that's at all important for all of this

230

and as we're saying yes it is important

231

and what it means is being present is and it's something

232

that you can change also with the mindset do you want to again do you want to impress this person

233

or do you want to learn about them.

234

Do you want to maybe prove that you're right if you're debating something?

235

Or do you want to learn what this person, learn something new?

236

So maybe you can grow a little bit with the conversation.

237

When is it that you win?

238

What's your victory status?

239

Is it when you, in the case of an argument, like a debate, is it when you prove that you're right

240

and you walk away not having learned anything or maybe

241

that you're proven wrong but now you've grown you know just think about that

242

and i think all these things help you shift from being

243

in place where you just want to talk talk talk to a place where maybe let's listen

244

and not just listen but pay close attention

245

because i don't want to miss anything focus look in their eyes

246

and the more you do it i think the more you become capable of it.

247

And that's also connected to body language, right?

248

Because if you're not looking at the person, you're just looking away, like right here, if I look away, if you're watching this lesson, like it's harder to connect with me, right?

249

Because I'm like, I'm shy or something, look at the person who's just looking away, like right here, if I look away, if you're watching this lesson, like it's harder to connect with me, right?

250

Because I'm like, I'm shy or something.

251

Look at the camera, Izzy.

252

Look at the person's eye.

253

And that's the first step I would say of having really great body language.

254

And there's an important thing that I would say that I was,

255

I referred to this earlier about noticing when the other person wants to leave, they are not engaged, they don't care,

256

or they have something that urgent that they need to do.

257

If you have empathy, true empathy, just be aware.

258

You could ask them literally, hey, do you need to be somewhere?

259

I'm sorry.

260

That's better because it will give them that chance, but you can see in their body language too.

261

Maybe they're just like moving more than they should.

262

They're feeling like restless when they're not rested.

263

They're just agitated.

264

Or maybe their body is pointing to another direction that's not you or their feet even.

265

And you're not noticing these things because you're so into what you're saying.

266

That's fine, I guess.

267

But do you want to be that person?

268

Would you want somebody to do that to you? and you don't want to be rude.

269

So you stay there.

270

Don't be that person.

271

People like you more because of that, you know, and they'll respect you more.

272

And that's what it's all about.

273

And the final question that I have here is what is the most common mistake people make

274

when trying to keep the conversation flowing?

275

I've already touched on this.

276

Like it was the very first thing I said, that is they started with how are you doing or how is it going when it was not necessary.

277

If you just say it to be polite, but you already have what you want to share, great.

278

But don't start without knowing what you wanted to say, what you want to talk about.

279

If you're purposefully, like if you're deliberately trying to connect with somebody, you saw them at a party or something.

280

My example was that there were no sugar-free options at the party, but maybe the music is loud.

281

Maybe it's your vibe that you wish it was a cooler party, more chill.

282

And if you see that a person is also has that vibe of like being more chill, maybe you could say it's like, hey, it's not my favorite type of party because it's like very loud.

283

The music here and it's love to talk to people more.

284

And then maybe they would say, you know, let's go to another place where we can actually talk

285

and just feel your feelings and say what you want to say.

286

But before you engage, know what you want to say, know how you're feeling, be aware.

287

So that's the most common problem that I see is like people just start conversations without knowing what is it.

288

They don't even know what's going on in their minds or their heart themselves.

289

And you know what?

290

I could go on and on about this topic.

291

It's one of my favorites since I've started doing these lessons last year with Ethan and Xenia as well.

292

it's become this passion of mine to learn more about myself

293

and bring all that ability to just have conversation to casually talk with people bring

294

that here in a way

295

that also feels natural the point of these lessons is exactly

296

to make them conversational casual just like we are in real life real life

297

so you can experience all of this real life English too you know

298

if if this was like a completely scripted and everything, it'd be difficult for me to actually come across as natural, right?

299

And it's been a long journey, I would say, and changing my mindset,

300

you know, so to become more authentic and not be in my head even.

301

And all these things I said was because that's my experience.

302

So it's not I wasn't born this way, right?

303

This is something that you can actually develop.

304

If you know, if you understand the concept of growth mindset, you know that, you know, I don't need to be innately skilled in things.

305

Meaning you don't have to be like born with abilities.

306

You develop them over time.

307

You choose and you work on them.

308

And that's it for today's lesson.

309

Thank you so much for joining me. And

310

if you haven't downloaded the real life app yet as I

311

said earlier do it right now all of these lessons

312

that we do here they come with so much vocabulary that

313

if you master you can speak more like me like Ethan naturally

314

and that's a great also I would say a great piece

315

of advice for improving your conversation skills you need more vocabulary right

316

if you don't know how to express yourself how are you going to do this

317

so I didn't talk about this today

318

because it wasn't the focus of the lesson it was implicit

319

but please do if If you want to connect with people more, you can start right now by downloading the RealLife app and practicing with all the expressions they learned today.

320

And as we say in all of our lessons, remember that no matter what divides us, that which unites us is far greater.

321

1, 2, 3...

322

AHHHHHH YEAH!

323

Alright, picture this.

324

You're in a big meeting at work.

325

Everyone's talking fast.

326

Ideas are flying around.

327

Suddenly, your boss turns to you.

328

What do you think?

329

Your heart races.

330

Your mind goes blank.

331

You open your mouth, and words come out slowly, awkward, not quite what you meant.

📺 Same Channel

Why is English Pronunciation So CONFUSING? | Silent Letters

Daily ConversationHigh School StudentsUniversity Students

Learn English with PODCASTS — Our Favorite Movies of 2026

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

✨ Recommend Video

67 sentences

🎧Listening English Podcast - IELTS Speaking PART 2-3 Band 6.5+ & Topic: COMMUNICATION

IELTS PrepBusiness EnglishDaily Conversation

199 sentences

How to turn a conversation into a connection

Business EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students

48 sentences

Celeste Headlee - 10 ways to have a better conversation (Condensed Talk)

Business EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation

150 sentences

How to Speak English Confidently | Shadow This Advanced English Conversation

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

354 sentences

English Podcast for Easy Daily Life Conversation | Talking About Ikigai 🌸 | Learn English Naturally

Business EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students

97 sentences

How I Learned English (didn’t speak it until I was 18)

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

385 sentences

Real Life English Conversations to Sound More Natural | Podcast to Learn English!

Business EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students

101 sentences

How to Have Interesting English Conversations (Even If You’re Shy!)

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

What You'll Learn

This video equips you with two key skills to move beyond surface-level small talk. First, you’ll master authentic icebreakers that replace generic "how are you?" questions with honest, personal statements—like sharing a thought about your surroundings—to create meaningful connections. Second, you’ll learn to deepen conversations by linking observations to your own experiences, turning fleeting interactions into longer, more engaging talks. These skills are perfect for IELTS speaking practice or real-life chats, helping you avoid awkward silences.

Listen For These Sounds

Pay attention to how the speaker uses connected speech to keep the flow natural. Phrases like "gonna be" (instead of "going to be") and "I've been through" show reductions that native speakers use. Notice the linking in "what's up" and "how's your day," where the "t" in "what's" softens and the "s" connects smoothly. These sounds are key to sounding fluent, and practicing them with the shadowing technique (repeating the speaker aloud in real time) can help you internalize them.

Say It Like a Native

To mirror the speaker’s rhythm, focus on stress and pauses. She emphasizes words like "honest," "surprising," and "authentic" to highlight their importance, so mimic that emphasis in your own speech. Notice how she pauses briefly before sharing examples, giving the conversation a natural, unrushed feel. Try shadow speech—repeating her lines as she says them—to copy her pace and intonation. This not only improves your pronunciation but also helps you feel more confident in real conversations, whether you’re using these skills for shadowspeaks practice or chatting with friends.

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	I've been · you've made · have already created
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	is put · was impressed · was not planned

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

Shadowing Practice: How to Keep the Conversation Going After “HOW ARE YOU?” - Learn English Speaking with Video

Why is English Pronunciation So CONFUSING? | Silent Letters

Learn English with PODCASTS — Our Favorite Movies of 2026

The Art of SMALL TALK: 3 Secrets to INSTANT Connection !

Want to THINK in English? Here's how to train your brain.

English Small Talk Practice: How to Keep the Conversation Going

How To Start A Conversation

🎧Listening English Podcast - IELTS Speaking PART 2-3 Band 6.5+ & Topic: COMMUNICATION

How to turn a conversation into a connection

Celeste Headlee - 10 ways to have a better conversation (Condensed Talk)

How to Speak English Confidently | Shadow This Advanced English Conversation

English Podcast for Easy Daily Life Conversation | Talking About Ikigai 🌸 | Learn English Naturally

How I Learned English (didn’t speak it until I was 18)

Real Life English Conversations to Sound More Natural | Podcast to Learn English!

How to Have Interesting English Conversations (Even If You’re Shy!)

What You'll Learn

Listen For These Sounds

Say It Like a Native

Grammar in this video

What is the Shadowing Technique?