Shadowing Practice: What is the SECRET to making goals? - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Welcome to the Effortless English Show with the world's number one English teacher, A .J.

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Talk about goals today, goals, goals.

Goals are tricky.

They're a little bit tricky.

So, you know, there are a lot of opinions out there about how to make goals.

And, you know, there's kind of a general, what we call conventional wisdom.

Conventional wisdom.

It means common sense.

It's what most people think about making goals.

You'll hear kind of the same advice all the time about how to make a goal.

But I think the conventional wisdom, I think the common sense ideas,

the common ideas about goals, are missing some things.

The advice is not great.

It's okay, but it's not great.

And so I think goals are a little more complicated,

in some ways a little more dangerous, than most people understand.

So we have to think carefully about how to make a goal, how to think about the goals,

what mindset to have, etc. Because if we do it wrong, if you do it wrong, if you make goals in a wrong way,

meaning not skillful, it can actually hurt your motivation.

You know, a goal, if you do a goal, make a goal badly, the goal will actually hurt your motivation.

It will make you less motivated.

It will make you less likely to succeed.

So this is why it's important.

because we have to do our goal setting in a way

that makes us more motivated because that's what goals are for, right?

The idea of having a goal is it motivates us to improve in some way to get better.

So if the goal does not do that, if the goal makes you feel less powerful, less confident, less motivated, it's a bad goal.

It's done badly.

So we'll talk about this in a little more detail.

Today we're live on Facebook today.

I decided to change that over to Facebook.

I do find the quality of the comments are better on Facebook.

People are more focused on the topic.

On YouTube, we get...

This is generally...

I find this in YouTube in general, not just my channel, but all around the internet.

The YouTube comments are just not quite as good.

The quality is just a little bit less.

People are more distracted, that kind of thing.

So I do like being on Facebook for that reason.

I don't like the company Facebook, but I do like our audience.

So welcome to all of you.

Let's talk about goals first.

I'm a little late today at the live show because my babies were late going to bed.

They stayed up late tonight.

So it took a little longer, so the show might be a little shorter today.

So let's just jump in really quickly.

Goals.

Okay, so there's a few mindsets about goals, right?

People always say, oh, you should have goals, goals they should be specific they should be measurable right

and that's fine that's fine that's decent advice okay you have

a very specific goal meaning you know exactly what you want to achieve

and you have maybe a specific date right

and you can measure the goal you did it or you did not do it

then you have things like the secret like the book the secret

which is quite popular and this The idea of the secret is that you, I mean, the main idea of the secret is you add a lot of emotion to your goal

so that you visualize it, you like, you see, you imagine the goal, you imagine you have achieved it already,

and you let yourself feel wonderful and feel great, imagining how wonderful it is to achieve the goal.

so this is the idea

oh and i hear baby is crying in the other room oh no do you need help in there

okay anyway so this is the idea of making goals

and you know this this this advice is okay it's not

bad one second i need to just do something really quickly here I've got a baby problem.

I just need to check on my baby.

Sorry, guys.

One second.

Everything okay?

It's all right?

Okay, guys.

All right.

I think it's okay.

okay um okay one more thing sorry about this

yeah i'm gonna ban this guy one second uh delete

and he's gone all right good okay just needed to ban somebody all right so goals

so the idea the secret people are they're imagining you got

to put all this emotion into it that's also nice it makes the goal more powerful

so fair enough So what is the problem?

The problem is this, that as I was discussing yesterday, sometimes if you have too much emotion about your goal,

too much emotion, that it actually can hurt you.

And the reason is this, is that you want it so much, I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it, that it can actually kind of take away your energy.

And the key thing is that it creates fear.

Fear.

Fear of what?

Fear of failure, fear of not achieving your goal.

This is demotivating, meaning it's the opposite of motivation.

That while it's good to have a lot of strong positive emotions, to get really excited about your goals,

sometimes this can turn into fear or it can take away too much of your energy.

Why?

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A few reasons.

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Number one, if you have a big goal, if you have a big goal and you're constantly thinking about it, dreaming about it, thinking about it, but it's far away, it's far,

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far away, it's a big goal, so you need a lot of time.

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Maybe you get excited for a few days, maybe you get excited for a few weeks, but then what happens after a month, after two months, after three months,

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you can start to get a a little depressed, sometimes worried, sometimes afraid that you're never going to do it, right?

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You're imagining, imagining, imagining the end, imagining the end, using the secret, oh, it's so great, it's so great,

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but it actually starts to feel impossible because you're imagining something that's so totally different than your life now.

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So this can actually hurt your motivation sometimes, because you start to realize, okay, this dream is very nice,

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but it's nothing like my life now.

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I'm so, so far away from it.

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And by reminding yourself, by thinking about the end goal too much, with too much emotion, you can actually start to become a little depressed about it.

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You can actually hurt you in that case.

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I think the secret works better for shorter goals, goals that are closer, where you really can feel you're getting closer.

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You really feel that it's possible.

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And so when you think, ah, it's possible, then indeed, yes, you start to imagine it.

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You feel the emotion of it, of the victory.

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And this will make you more excited this will give you greater and greater motivation because you feel like, I can do it.

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You have that confidence.

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But when the secret hurts you, that technique of the secret, where it hurts you, where it's not effective, I think is when the goal is too,

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too big, too, too far away.

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When really inside, you really don't believe you can do it.

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It seems so far.

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And you might get excited a little bit, But then eventually what happens is you lose your motivation because you start to feel,

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oh, this excitement, I want it, I want it, but right now I'm too far.

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And you start to feel bad now, right?

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You start to feel that something's wrong now.

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And you're focusing too much on the end, too much on the end, and you're not enjoying right now.

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You're not enjoying the process.

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And that will destroy your motivation, especially for a large goal.

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So again, let's give an example.

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We'll use the marathon example because it's so easy.

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It's such a clear example.

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So imagine, okay, me, me right now.

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I'm thin.

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I'm in good shape.

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Generally decent fitness.

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Let's imagine I have a goal.

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I'm going to do a marathon in six months.

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Okay, if I use the secret, I imagine myself crossing the finish line, my arms in the air, feeling great. Will this help me?

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Yeah, I will, because I feel very confident I can do it.

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In six months, I definitely could do a marathon.

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Okay, I have no doubt about it at all i mean i've done them before

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and i'm i'm in pretty good shape a decent fitness level i could not do a marathon today

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but i could do it in six months okay so

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if i really got excited about it it would motivate me a lot

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but on the other hand let's imagine my mom my mom

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who is you know still very overweight who has never run

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one mile in fact even walking one mile would be very

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difficult for her she's in she's you know in her 70s she's overweight her whole life

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terrible fitness level for her if she tried to use the secret of imagining a marathon

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doing a marathon i don't think it would help her i think it would actually be the opposite

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because she would feel it was impossible.

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I think she would feel it was just terrible.

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You know, like, I can't do it.

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I can't do it.

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There's no way.

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This is impossible.

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And so by imagining this marathon, I think she would be imagining it.

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It would seem great.

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But then she would wake up in the daytime and she feels like, oh, look at me.

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Like, I'm never going to do this.

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And it would actually cause her to hurt, to lose motivation.

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And she would start to feel like I'm too far.

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And she would stop focusing on now.

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So you have to enjoy the process.

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Like I enjoy running.

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I enjoy exercising.

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So training for a marathon sounds fun.

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Every day would be enjoyable for me.

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But for my mom, no. For my mom, it would be better for her to focus on a shorter

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goal like just walking for an hour in the park

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and focus on enjoying it and looking at the trees and not something huge like a marathon.

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She might, maybe in her mind, she would, maybe someday I'll do a marathon.

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But focusing on that, focusing on something too far away would not be helpful.

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And it's kind of the same for you, of course, about English.

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So, depends on your level.

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If you are advanced already, you're very advanced, and you have a goal I want to be like near

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native right you want to be very high mastery well

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if you're advanced now already you can already understand movies

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and TV you can read most books in English well that's a good goal for you

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that would be a great goal

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because you would feel it's possible it would motivate you to

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do better right not be lazy keep improving your English on the other hand, for a beginner, someone starting with English,

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just beginning, where English feels so, so difficult, it seems like such a big, difficult thing to do, just to speak English,

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just to be basically fluent, feels like a lot.

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For a beginner like that, I think it's a bad idea to want to think about becoming like a native,

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even for some intermediate level.

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That's most of you.

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I think trying to become native, like a native speaker, it's a nice goal, you know, for the future.

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But I think don't focus on that now because it will feel too far, too, too, too difficult.

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And it actually can hurt your motivation.

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Why?

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Because each day you realize you're not close each day you wake up

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and you're like oh

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and you maybe you improve maybe your vocabulary is growing your fluency is much better you understand much more

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but you don't enjoy your improvement why

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because every day you say i'm still not native i'm still

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not native i'm still not native you're focusing too much on this super super super super high goal

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so it's killing your enjoyment now.

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You're not noticing your improvement.

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You're not noticing how wonderful your English is already.

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In fact, I think it can be very motivating to instead focus backwards, focus on the past.

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Focus on the past.

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Think about two years ago, your English two years ago.

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Think about it.

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How good was your English two years ago?

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You're listening, you're speaking, you're reading.

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And then compare to now, and hopefully you have improved.

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Some of you have improved a lot in two years maybe even three months ago three months ago you have improved

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that's why we're doing this challenge this four month challenge

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because the idea is you started last month

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and you're making a big effort last month this month we

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continue we continue until end of November at the end of November what will we do?

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we're going to remember we're going to think back to August August 1st We're going to think back to August 1st,

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and we're going to notice how much did we improve.

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And I think all of us will improve.

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And that's very motivating.

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Then you feel like, yes, wow, I really have improved.

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In four months, I improved a lot.

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My listening is better.

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Maybe my speaking is better.

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My reading is better.

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Maybe your writing is better, right?

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And this is very, very motivating.

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So sometimes, instead of looking forward at a big goal far away,

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often it's helpful to look back and to realize you have already made improvements,

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to notice and enjoy your improvements now.

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Don't wait to be happy.

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This is the point.

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See, some goals are good.

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They're fine.

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But the problem is some people have an idea that,

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oh, I cannot be happy until I reach my goal.

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I will wait to be happy until I reach the goal.

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I will wait to enjoy English until I am super perfect.

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I will wait to be excited until I run a marathon or a double marathon.

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And that's where, that's the problem.

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We have to enjoy the whole, every step.

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It's just like a journey, right?

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It's just like a trip.

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You don't, if you go to travel, maybe you want to travel around the world, you know, a big trip, one year, travel around the world.

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You realize, right, it would be crazy, crazy to just focus on the last day of your trip.

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Ah, I can't wait till the end of the trip, the last day.

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That's my goal.

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I'll finish the big trip.

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Ah, then I'll be happy.

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Of course, that's crazy because you want to enjoy every day of the trip.

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Every day could be enjoyable.

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Every day a new experience.

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Every day you learn something.

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the whole trip the whole journey that entire year could be magical

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and wonderful well it's the same with learning it's the same with anything in life

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that it's great to have the goal

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but we have to remember enjoy each day each step enjoy your english level right now right now you're listening to me,

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only in English, my podcast is usually 45 minutes, 50 minutes, an hour or more,

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only English, and you are understanding, that's amazing.

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Think, remember when you were a beginner.

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Remember when you were a beginner.

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This, today, what you are doing now, you probably thought, ah, that would be impossible.

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Listen to an American talk for one hour only in English and understand most of it, right?

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Sometime in your past, you thought that will be very tough.

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That's impossible.

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And now you're doing it right now.

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So enjoy it, okay?

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Enjoy it.

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It's good.

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Yes, you want to improve.

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Yes, you want to get better.

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But also enjoy now.

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Enjoy and remember, you have already improved a lot.

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Enjoy it.

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You can read in English now.

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You're doing our challenge.

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You're listening.

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You know, on our, I'll show our gab group.

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On our gab group, you know, we have people who are listening to all kinds of cool things and they're understanding.

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You know, like here, speaking, oh, this is Hindi, it's a little different.

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But, you know, look at this, like Brave New World.

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And, you know, people are reading Brave New World now and listening, of course, to my show about Brave New World.

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And Julia Takeda is listening to an audio book by Brian Tracy, a motivational speaker about success.

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You know, how cool is that?

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It's all in English.

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Asma is listening to Matthew McConaughey, an actor, some kind of talk.

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I mean, just look at all these cool things.

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Ibrahim Ali is listening or is reading while listening, so reading and listening to a Robert Kiyosaki book about education,

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why A students work for C students. So cool.

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And he's also reading another Robert Kiyosaki book and listening, sorry, Fake Money, Fake Teachers, which I want to read that book.

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It sounds great.

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And Lisa is listening to Jane Austen, right?

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Famous British writer, Jane Austen.

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Mansfield Park also has a nice movie, Mansfield Park.

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Here's Carol.

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She's listening to us, Steve Coffin and Matt vs. Japan, who I'll be interviewing Matt vs. Japan next week, which is cool.

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she's listening to a few of his looks like she's doing a lot of Matt vs. Japan's YouTube videos,

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which is great she's getting ready for my interview next week but look at this, it's all in English all these cool things I know people

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are listening to Tony Robbins some of you are reading Tony

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Robbins some of you watched Steve Kaufman yesterday had a live video also about language learning see,

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this is it, you gotta enjoy it you gotta enjoy it now you're improving, but it's very important to enjoy it while you're improving.

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Enjoy what you are doing now.

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This is the problem with goals.

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See, this is the weak point where I would say the danger, the possible danger of goals.

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The possible danger of goals is you live in the future.

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You live just imagining some perfect day in the future that might not come.

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It might never come, right?

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And you forget about now.

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You forget to enjoy now.

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You forget to love what you're doing now.

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You forget to appreciate your success that you already have.

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You forget gratitude, okay?

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And that can hurt your motivation.

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So, yes, have a goal, but my idea of goals, my way to do goals now is I'll make a goal, maybe a big goal, and I'll kind of,

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it's in my mind, and then I push it aside and I kind of forget about it.

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I kind of forget.

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Like, I have a goal to be fluent in Japanese, okay?

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But it's very big.

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It's far away.

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So I'm not going to think every day, fluent Japanese, fluent Japanese.

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It'll just stress me out.

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It's too far away.

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So I have it in my mind.

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I push it away.

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And instead, I focus on today.

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Today, I will do seven hours of Japanese.

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Tomorrow, I will do seven hours of Japanese.

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I'm focused just on our challenge.

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It's just this four -month challenge.

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That's all.

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I'm just trying to...

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I have a certain number of hours I want to do during our challenge.

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So we have three more months, September, October, November.

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So that's all.

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I'm just focused on that only and just enjoying it and I'm improving and that's all.

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Just focus on enjoying it, improving.

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I've, you know, focused on finding some interesting things in Japanese that I can understand, which is not much, but I find some stuff.

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And this is much better.

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If I focused on being fluent, it would destroy my motivation and stress me out, get me really stressed.

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If I focused on someone like Matt vs. Japan and his super high level, it would hurt my motivation.

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Like, I'm never going to do that.

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Maybe I will.

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I don't know, but we'll see.

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The point is, though, you got to really have your goal and then kind of your big goal,

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push it away, and then focus closer to now and enjoy now.

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And this works much better.

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I find this works much, much better for goal setting.

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This is a more effective, more powerful, more motivating way to use goals.

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All right.

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There you go.

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Let's get into the comments.

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Fernando says I just finished to read your book I think

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it was amazing I'm confused in some areas well you can ask questions Fernando

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I think I finally banned this guy just kept spamming the site ah Okay,

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Rashid says, You're a great teacher, now I'm fluent in English.

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I started to take English lessons for advanced level.

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I applied your methods in learning Spanish.

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They are valid for any language.

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Thanks so much.

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Yes, of course they are.

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Of course, I'm a native speaker of English, so I only teach English, of course.

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I'm not qualified to teach anything else.

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But yes, the ideas, the principles are effective for any language.

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I mean, we'll see when I interview Matt next week.

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The principles, we agree.

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I already know that the basic principles he used to learn Japanese are very similar to the ones

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that I'm teaching you to learn English.

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Steve Kaufman discusses similar principles.

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You know, we're all influenced by Stephen Krashen and reality.

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Pham says, hello from Pasol.

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Hello to you.

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Hello to Pasol, my friends in Vietnam.

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okay

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yeah like merrick says and america is saying this in a very you know kind of effective summary here.

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Maintaining balance and motivation is very important.

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I recently exaggerated my ambition to ride a bike and the goals I set myself for it.

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And that's right.

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I'm a little depressed now because I couldn't achieve my goals.

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Yeah, it can happen.

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There was a fear of failure and the excitement of riding turned into an obsession with realizing my plans.

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Now I have to sort it out from the beginning, catch the mistakes I've made.

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Yes, that's right.

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That's a good example of what can happen

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when you set the goal too big and you become crazy about it because then you stop enjoying what you're doing.

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You're just so focused because the goal seems so huge.

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You think you have to, ah, crazy.

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You become kind of crazy about it and you kind of lose the enjoyment.

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Instead, you're motivated by fear of failure.

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And this kills your enjoyment.

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And often then you do not achieve the goal and all you did was kind of kill the enjoyment.

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So it's tricky.

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It's tricky.

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It's nice to dream big.

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I love the idea of dreaming big, but we have to, I think it's also good, like I said, for the big,

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big, big goals, I like to put them out there like as a possibility, but the ones I really focus on are shorter.

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They're ones that I feel confident about achieving.

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Like, am I confident about being fluent in Japanese right now?

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I'm not, so I'm not going to focus on that.

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It'll just make me crazy and stressed out.

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Am I confident I can do 200 hours per month, September and then October and November?

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Can I do 600 more hours before our challenge is finished?

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Yes, that I know I can do.

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So that's a good goal.

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It motivates me.

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I feel good about it.

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And it's a little difficult.

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It definitely pushes me it pushes me to you know work a little harder

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but it's you know it's just hours i don't have it's not really performance

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so i know i can do it so it's motivating

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but motivating in a positive way makes me enjoy every day

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and i'm not stressed about it so that goal works very well

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that kind of goal helps

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so like merrick had let's say he had i don't know what his goal for a bike but But maybe, you know, let's say you wanted to do some huge long -distance race or something.

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So maybe instead, you can have that as maybe an idea.

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Like I'll just talk about running.

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I know running better.

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You know, maybe in my mind, I say I want to do a double marathon, like 50 -mile race.

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But if I focus on that, that is a large and quite difficult thing to do.

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So instead, I would focus on doing maybe I'm going to do a marathon in six months.

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Kind of have in my mind, you know, maybe I'll do the double marathon after that, but I'm not going to focus on the double marathon too much because it's too far right now.

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I would focus just on doing a regular marathon first.

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After the regular marathon, then I'll be in great shape, and then I'll think, hmm, maybe now I'll focus on the double marathon, right?

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Because it's closer.

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It feels possible.

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It wouldn't be so stressful.

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So it's just a little tricky.

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This goal stuff can be a little tricky sometimes.

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Well, yeah, right.

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Haitham says, you will not be able to speak English like a native in one month or a week.

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Well, exactly.

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So, you know, it's okay to have that as a goal.

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Like, we'll talk next week when I talk to Matt, that his goal was to speak basically perfect Japanese like a native.

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And I think, you know, He didn't completely achieve it 100%, but I think he's probably 99 % achieved it.

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He did a really great job.

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But we'll talk with him about this.

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Well, yeah, here's another problem.

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I'm so bored, I feel it's impossible.

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Rwand.

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See, this is the other problem.

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It can start to feel boring because when your goal feels too far, then you start to become bored with today because,

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oh, well, today I'm not even close to my goal.

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Still not close, right?

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And tomorrow, I'm still not close.

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And the next day, still not close.

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It's too far.

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And you can start to become bored because you're too focused on the future and not on now.

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So it's better to, in that situation, you're feeling bored, change your goal, create a short goal.

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Create a short goal, like next month.

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Next month, you want to achieve something next month or maybe in three months.

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One to three months is a nice time.

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Your goal could be just to read a certain number of pages in English, to listen a certain number of hours,

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to watch, I don't know, season one of Friends.

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Something like that.

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You know you can do that.

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And it's much more fun.

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Well, like Ziad says, the problem is we don't take action and think, I don't have time, passing time with awful thoughts.

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This is another problem with large goals.

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They seem so far, they kill your action because you feel like, okay, I can do something today, but it's just such a tiny step.

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but if you have a goal that's close then you feel like you get excited

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because you're like i'm so close

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and you want to take a step you want to take another step

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because you know you're getting close to that

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so again this is a big advantage of making your goals

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more achievable they got they've got to feel achievable it's more about your mindset right it's it's

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that you feel inside or you think you have a confidence

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that you can do it it's possible you can't do it right now

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but you feel like I can this is possible

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if a goal feels impossible then it will kill your motivation it's got to feel possible to you

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so you make it smaller and smaller until it feels possible hey giuliano and sardinia good to see you

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yeah like nana says nana komatsu says uh that's true one time i was kind of frustrated

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because my goal was improving my english like a native i wasn't achieving it

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but then i looked back and And I saw how much I have been improving.

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I was glad.

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I felt so nice about it.

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Yes, Nana, very nice.

472

It just helps to do this, to review your achievements, to appreciate what you have already done.

473

It reminds you that, aha, I can improve.

474

I can and I am.

475

Yeah, Abraham and Lee, see, he's reading a book in English.

476

Finish!

477

Give Yourself the Gift of Done by John Acuff.

478

See, I mean, you can read books completely in English for native speakers.

479

That's great.

480

Claudio, good to see you from Milan.

481

Yeah, like Lisa says, right now, my goal is to enjoy a nice conversation, movies, and books in English.

482

I started learning English years ago, but I didn't put enough effort into it.

483

Now, I feel I'm able to spend more time, more effort every day.

484

I'm doing it, and I really enjoy it.

485

Fantastic.

486

See, this is the reward.

487

You just start to enjoy it, having conversations, enjoying movies, enjoying books.

488

These are fun, right?

489

So you're starting to enjoy the process. So important.

490

Will reading more books improve my English speaking?

491

Yeah, especially your vocabulary.

492

Reading is number one for vocabulary.

493

It really helps.

494

yeah now this is well said by lucas lucas says aj i think the goals are important

495

but much more important is the road after the goals right

496

the path for example what are you doing for your goals every day.

497

This, I agree with this.

498

If my goal is to learn German and my goal is to be fluent, I need to practice German every day.

499

The most important is the system, the daily system, the daily habits.

500

How to achieve my goal.

501

It's all about our actions.

502

Words without actions are worthless.

503

Yes, this is another way.

504

What's his name?

505

Scott Adams.

506

Scott Adams talks about us.

507

He has a book about this.

508

He talks about that systems are more important than goals.

509

So, systems means really habits.

510

It's kind of like your organized habits, that that will give you more success when you focus on systems than habits.

511

So, for example, a system would be, I will read one hour English every day, I will listen to one hour of English every day,

512

and i will review one hour of vocab you know from my reading every day

513

and you do it every day that's a system that's a

514

system you do it every day every day every day it's a system

515

and it will improve your english a lot over time you will get better

516

and better and better by focusing on the system, the habits.

517

Yeah, like Abdullah, he says, it's a helpful tip to partition big goals into mini goals.

518

It means divide.

519

That leads to the final goal.

520

In our way, the big goal is very important, like you said.

521

Yeah, right.

522

That's another way to think of it.

523

So, imagine you have your huge goal, whatever your goal is, your big goal.

524

Speak fluent English like a native, like a native.

525

Well, you don't start with that goal as the first goal.

526

It's too big.

527

You break it, right?

528

What's the path?

529

Where are you now?

530

What's the first step?

531

Then what's the next step?

532

What's the next goal?

533

So maybe you create five or 10 goals step by step by step, and then just focus on the next one, the one that's in front of you.

534

Yeah, see, this is a good idea.

535

This is cool what Mikhail says.

536

During our challenge, I noticed one thing.

537

Some days I don't have motivation.

538

Then I just start listening to podcasts or some interesting videos.

539

And my motivation incredibly increases.

540

So, for example, I had planned to listen two hours, and I finish the day with six or more.

541

This is true.

542

This is something I experienced with running many times, many times when I was running a lot or training for a marathon.

543

So I'd get up and it's time to run, maybe morning, right?

544

And I'm like, ah, I'm just tired.

545

I don't want to run today.

546

I feel lazy.

547

I don't want to run today.

548

Ah, you know, like for an hour, I'm just complaining and ah, but I do it.

549

I put on my clothes.

550

All right.

551

Maybe just a short run today.

552

Today, I'll just do a short run.

553

And so I finally, I get outside, start jogging.

554

Okay.

555

And then like after 10 minutes or 20 minutes, start feeling good.

556

Start feeling better.

557

Start feeling better.

558

Energy starts going up and up and up.

559

Start running faster, a little faster, a little faster.

560

And then suddenly it's, you know, One hour later, I'm feeling great, and I keep going, and I have a nice long run and feel fantastic,

561

and then the rest of the day feel really good.

562

It doesn't always happen.

563

Sometimes you just feel bad.

564

But it happens many times when you do this, that if you just push yourself to do a little bit,

565

that sometimes you start to feel better, you start to enjoy doing it, and then suddenly you do much more than you expect, right?

566

You think, okay, today I'll just run 30 minutes.

567

But then after 30 minutes, you feel great.

568

You keep going for one hour or two hours.

569

Or like Michal says, you say, ah, I don't want to listen to English today.

570

Ah, all right, I'll just do 20 minutes.

571

I'll just listen 20 minutes today.

572

And you listen 20 minutes, and then you start enjoying it.

573

It's the video's interesting.

574

The audio's interesting.

575

And you go, ah, I'll keep going.

576

And you do 30 minutes, an hour, two hours, six hours.

577

So don't let the first feeling stop you.

578

That's also important each day.

579

You know, even when you feel lazy, make yourself do a little bit just push yourself to do a little

580

if you still feel bad okay have an easy day just do a short day

581

that happens sometimes

582

but sometimes also you think it will be an easy day you think it will be a short day

583

but something changes you have a good time and you do a lot more good uh good comment

584

lewa says hi from texas hello to texas

585

see this is cool darby says on my learning english journey

586

i started a challenge where i learned 10 new words every

587

day now i'm doing 60 new words a day see this

588

is cool too this is again where you start with a goal

589

so if darby started with 60 words maybe it would have felt impossible to him in the beginning and he said,

590

ah, 60, ah and he would have stopped, maybe quit but instead he said 10,

591

10 seems possible I'll do 10 new words a day and then he realized, okay, after a while oh,

592

10 is easy, I'm used to doing 10 now maybe I'll do 20

593

and then he probably did that for a while and then he said, well, I could probably do 30 and now he's all the way up to 60 so that's fantastic

594

oh abra says

595

if you want to do an interview an interesting person contact

596

tenzin wongyal rinpoche i assume is tibetan buddhist he's a great teacher of our time abra

597

if you could send me a link to uh his website

598

or video or some contact i just would like to learn a little more about him But, you know, I'm open to that for sure.

599

Okay, I'm going to finish with Alexi's comment because he's got a nice long comment.

600

He always has good comments.

601

I don't even need to read them first.

602

Let's just see what Alexi says.

603

Okay, every day we want to see improvement, but it doesn't work this way.

604

Indeed.

605

We have to compare ourselves every month, not days.

606

It's a good point.

607

A lot of professional bodybuilders, for example, have their own coach to understand what kind of muscle they're improving.

608

In my case, to achieve something, whether it be in good shape or be good at English,

609

I have to turn the fearful thing into a habit to improve steadily without doubt.

610

If the babies would be afraid to start walking, they would never be able to do such basic things when they're grown.

611

Good point.

612

I've also saved myself mentally in the gym when I'm doing the last reps.

613

Just get it done even if you die.

614

It helps a lot.

615

As you can see, I'm still alive.

616

Yeah, yeah.

617

These are all good points.

618

Point number one being that, right, it's very hard to improve day to day.

619

You might be improving, but you don't feel it.

620

That's the point.

621

So with your english if you learn one new word

622

or you listen you know an hour you probably have improved

623

but maybe it's a tiny improvement you don't notice it so much so it's harder to feel the improvement

624

so i agree with alexi that it's better to compare months you know months instead of days

625

so look back four months ago

626

or six months ago compared to now are you better well then now you know you're improving

627

but if you just look to yesterday you probably think well i'm the same

628

well because it's too short the time's too short that's good point number one uh

629

and and body building is a great example of this

630

because yeah a bodybuilder goes to the gym

631

and they work a muscle let's say they work their shoulders

632

one day well the shoulder is not bigger the next day

633

right they're not they don't notice oh my shoulder is much bigger today no it takes a

634

while right They've got to eat a lot.

635

They've got to work that shoulder many times, the shoulders.

636

And then, yes, after a month or months, they will get bigger shoulders and bigger muscles in general.

637

But it takes some time.

638

So there is a time lag.

639

This is why our challenge is four months long.

640

First, it was three months.

641

I decided, let's make it a little longer because then we will notice the improvement.

642

We can notice the change.

643

One month's not enough time to notice.

644

Now, some of you already are noticing improvements.

645

That's great.

646

I noticed improvement.

647

I'm better than one month ago in Japanese, for sure.

648

But I'm starting at zero level, so of course I'm improving.

649

When you're a low beginner, the improvement is very obvious.

650

But when you're intermediate level, the improvement is less obvious.

651

So you need longer time.

652

One month for some of you is not enough time to notice improvements.

653

But four months I do think is enough.

654

If you're really working hard for our challenge these four months, I think at the end of November you will definitely notice improvements, possibly very big improvements.

655

So Alexei, very good, always has great comments.

656

we'll just end this show today by looking at our challenge so here on our challenge board we have the listening

657

all right on our listening challenge

658

so right at the top you know these guys now have

659

uh four to five hundred hours we've been doing this what we're about week number five almost

660

so that's almost a hundred hours a a week that's pretty impressive

661

so edward anderson sven h alimana lee julia lamaine chero uh jose ramos ramos i uh i am Perumal,

662

Jean Ribeiro, Julia Taquita, Alexander Beliakov.

663

Nicely done, all of you.

664

So that's ranging from 284 all the way up to 568.

665

You know, that's some serious hours, guys.

666

Great job.

667

Great job.

668

And we'll look over in the reading.

669

I've been focusing on listening, as I've said.

670

So I'm curious about the readers.

671

Edward Anderson.

672

So Edward Anderson, I think clearly what we're seeing with Sven

673

and Edward is that they're combining their reading and listening at the same time.

674

That's how they're getting these big hours on both.

675

Otherwise, it would be impossible, okay?

676

So they're reading along as they listen, which is not a bad technique.

677

It's a nice technique.

678

And we have Roberto de Santos with almost 230 hours of reading.

679

Carol, I know, is focused very much on reading.

680

She's got 211 hours of reading.

681

I imagine Carol's vocabulary is improving very fast.

682

all of these people, I imagine their vocabulary is growing quite a lot

683

because what reading especially does is improves your vocabulary a lot, much better than listening.

684

Now, listening has other benefits, but I've noticed myself with Japanese

685

that I feel like I need to do more reading because I just feel my vocabulary is not growing fast enough,

686

starting to get a little frustrated that I feel like I need to learn more words.

687

You know, I feel this pressure now.

688

And so I'm trying to push myself to do a little more reading because I need to get the words.

689

On the other hand, my listening has improved quite a lot.

690

And then we have, was it Hikam and Mirwais and Shero,

691

I imagine, is also doing the double thing.

692

Salvador Ramirez Inderpal and Zibinek

693

Skalinski

694

at their top 10 for reading again good job I mean really getting in some big hours of reading

695

that is like vocabulary superpower right there these guys are getting and everyone else who's doing that reading

696

congratulations excellent excellent finally don't forget our Gab group that's where you can see what other people are reading can get ideas.

697

What I like about this Gab group, if you can see on Gab, yep, you're seeing on the screen if you're watching,

698

our Gab group here is that you get some cool ideas about things to listen to

699

or things to watch or things to read because you can see everybody's posting what they are reading, what they are listening to.

700

So you can kind of find maybe you're getting bored and you want something new, something interesting.

701

So you can go through and see like, oh, that's cool what's that and click the link

702

or do a search

703

and you know like this brian tracy book personal power lessons for a better life

704

that sounds like an interesting book it's an audiobook julia's listening

705

to it robinson caruso those are good stories albertina is reading robinson caruso And also Hansel and Gretel, fairy tales.

706

I like fairy tales, too.

707

I'm listening to traditional old Japanese stories,

708

old audiobooks, Momotaro and Isunboshi and the little samurai, all these kind of traditional stories.

709

I like them.

710

They're really nice.

711

But anyway, you see the idea that people are posting videos, YouTube videos, the names of books, the names of audios, audiobooks.

712

You can get a lot of ideas here from the Gab group of different things that might be interesting to you, all different things.

713

So please continue posting your books and your audios and your videos in our Gab group.

714

Also, maybe you can meet other people and you can make a schedule and chat on Skype with other members.

715

Get on our Gab group.

716

It's really cool.

717

Okay, that's enough to you.

718

I have to go watch some babies.

719

I'm on the night shift, night duty.

720

And I'll be back tomorrow.

721

So have a great day.

722

Continue with the challenge and set those goals, but make sure the goal feels possible.

723

That's the key point here with goals.

724

It should feel possible, and you must enjoy now.

725

You must enjoy now.

726

Don't forget.

727

Join my VIP program at EffortlessEnglishClub .com.

728

Commit, don't quit it, go now to EffortlessEnglishClub .com.

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This video helps you practice fluency in talking about personal growth and goal-setting—key topics for everyday conversations, work, or self-reflection. By engaging with the dialogue, you’ll learn to express opinions, critique common ideas, and explain complex concepts (like "conventional wisdom") clearly. It’s perfect for learners aiming to move beyond basic phrases and into more nuanced, natural speech.

Phrase Bank: Reusable Expressions to Master

"Conventional wisdom" (common, widely accepted ideas)
"Missing some things" (incomplete or lacking key elements)
"Hurt your motivation" (reduce your drive to succeed)
"Less likely to succeed" (lower chance of achieving a goal)
"In a wrong way" (not skillfully or effectively)

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The video’s conversational tone is ideal for practicing the shadowing technique (repeating phrases immediately after the speaker). Notice how the speaker stresses words like "tricky," "dangerous," and "motivation" to convey emotion. Mimic this rhythm to sound more confident and engaging. Many learners struggle with blending stressed and unstressed syllables in longer sentences—shadowing the dialogue will help you smooth out this pattern. To get the most out of it, pause the video, repeat short sections, and focus on matching the speaker’s pace and emphasis. This is how you learn English with videos effectively—by turning passive listening into active practice.

Whether you call it shadow speak, shadowspeak, or shadowing, this technique is proven to boost fluency. Use the video’s natural flow to refine your speaking skills and turn new phrases into second nature.

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Conditional sentences if + clause, will/would + verb — a condition and its result	If the babies would be
Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — an action that started earlier and is still going on	have been improving · we've been doing · I've been focusing
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	have achieved · i've done · has never run
Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing	people who are · week, which is · understand, which is

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

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