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Thank you, President Cowan, Mrs. President Cowan,
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Thank you, President Cowan, Mrs. President Cowan,
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distinguished guest, undistinguished guest, you know who you are.
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Honored faculty and creepy Spanish teacher.
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And thank you to all the graduating class of 2009.
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I realize most of you are hungover and have splitting headaches and haven't slept since Fat Tuesday,
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but you can't graduate until I finish, so listen up.
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When I was asked to make the commencement speech, I immediately said yes.
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Then I went to look up what commencement meant.
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Which would have been easy if I had a dictionary,
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but most of the books in our house are Porsches and they're all written in Australian.
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So I had to break the word down myself to find out the meaning.
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Commencement.
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Common and cement.
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Common cement.
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You commonly see cement on sidewalks.
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Sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack,
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you break your mother's back.
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So there's that.
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But I'm honored that you've asked me here to speak at your common cement.
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I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus,
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alumnus, you had to graduate from the school.
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And I didn't go to college here.
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And as I don't know if President Cowan knows,
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I didn't go to college at all, any college.
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And I'm not saying you wasted your time or money,
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but look at me, I'm a huge celebrity.
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Although I did graduate from the School of Hard Knocks,
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our mascot was the Knockers.
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I spent a lot of time here growing up my mom worked at Newcomb
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and I would go there every time I needed to steal something out of her purse.
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But why am I here today?
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Clearly not to steal, you're too far away and I'd never get away with it.
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I'm here because of you,
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because I can't think of a more tenacious, more courageous graduating class.
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I mean look at you all wearing your robes.
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Usually when you're wearing a robe at 10 in the morning,
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it means you've given up.
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I'm here because I love New Orleans.
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I was born and raised here.
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I spent my formative years here.
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And like you, while I was living here,
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I only did laundry six times.
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When I finished school, I was completely lost.
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And by school, I mean middle school.
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But I went ahead and finished high school anyway.
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And I really had no ambition.
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I didn't know what I wanted to do.
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I did everything from I shucked oysters.
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I was a hostess.
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I was a bartender.
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I was a waitress.
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I painted houses.
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I sold vacuum cleaners.
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I had no idea.
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And I thought I'd just finally settle on some job and I would make enough money to pay my rent,
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maybe have basic cable, maybe not.
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I didn't really have a plan.
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My point is that by the time I was your age,
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I really thought I knew who I was,
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but I had no idea.
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Like, for example, when I was your age, I was dating men.
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So what I'm saying is,
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when you're older, most of you will be gay.
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Is anybody writing this stuff down?
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parents
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anyway I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life
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and the way I ended up on this path was from a very tragic event I was maybe 19
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and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident
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and I passed the accident and I didn't know it her
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and I kept going and I found out shortly after
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that it was her
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and I was living in a basement apartment I had no
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money I had no heat no air I had a mattress on the floor
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and the apartment was infested with fleas
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and I was soul searching I was like why is she suddenly gone
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and there are fleas here I don't understand there must be a purpose
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and wouldn't it be so convenient if we could just pick up the phone and call God and ask these questions.
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And I started writing, and what poured out of me was an imaginary conversation with God,
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which was one-sided.
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And I finished writing it,
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and I looked at it,
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and I said to myself,
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and I hadn't even been doing stand-up ever.
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There was no club in town.
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I said, I'm gonna do this on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson,
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at the time he was the king,
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and I'm gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down.
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And several years later, I was the first woman in the history of the show,
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and only woman in the history of the show,
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to sit down because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote.
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And I started this path of stand-up,
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and it was successful, and it was great,
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but it was hard because I was trying to please everybody,
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and I had this secret that I was keeping that I was gay,
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and I thought if people found out,
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they wouldn't like me, they wouldn't laugh at me.
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Then my career turned into I got my own sitcom and that was very successful.
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Another level of success and I thought what
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if they find out I'm gay then they'll never watch and this was a long time ago.
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You probably this was when we just had white presidents but anyway this was back many years ago.
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And I finally decided that I was living with so much shame
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and so much fear that I just couldn't live that way anymore.
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And I decided to come out and make it creative and my character would come out at the same time.
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And it wasn't to make a political statement.
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It wasn't to do anything other than to free myself up from this heaviness
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that I was carrying around and I just wanted to be honest.
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And I thought, what's the worst that can happen?
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I can lose my career.
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I did.
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I lost my career.
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I got the show was canceled after six years without even telling me I read it in the paper.
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The phone didn't ring for three years.
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I had no offers.
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Nobody wanted to touch me at all.
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And yet I was getting letters from kids that almost committed suicide but didn't because of what I did.
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And I realized that I had a purpose
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and it wasn't just about me and it wasn't about celebrity
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but I felt like I was being punished and it was a bad time.
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I was angry, I was sad,
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and then I was offered a talk show.
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And the people that offered me the talk show tried to sell it and most stations didn't want to pick it up.
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Most people didn't want to buy it because they thought nobody would watch me.
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And really when I look back on it,
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I wouldn't change a thing.
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I mean, it was so important for me to lose everything because I found out what the most important thing is,
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is to be true to yourself.
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And ultimately that's what's gotten me to this place.
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I don't live in fear.
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I'm free.
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I have no secrets and I know I'll always be okay because no matter what I know who I am.
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So in conclusion, when I was younger,
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I thought success was something different.
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I thought when I grow up,
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I want to be famous.
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I want to be a star.
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I want to be in movies.
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When I grow up, I want to see the world, drive nice cars.
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I want to have groupies,
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to quote the Pussycat Dolls.
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But my idea of success is different today.
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And as you grow, you'll realize definition of success changes.
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For many of you, today's success is being able to hold down 20 shots of tequila.
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For me, the most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity
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and not to give in to peer pressure to try to be something that you're not,
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to live your life as an honest and compassionate person,
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to contribute in some way.
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So to conclude my conclusion,
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follow your passion, stay true to yourself,
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never follow someone else's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path,
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and by all means you should follow that.
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Don't give advice.
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It'll come back and bite you when they ask.
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Don't take anyone's advice.
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So my advice to you is to be true to yourself and everything will be fine.
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And I know that a lot of you are concerned about your future,
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but there's no need to worry.
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The economy is booming.
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The job market is wide open.
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The planet is just fine.
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So to conclude my conclusion that I previously concluded in the common cement speech.
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I guess what I'm trying to say is life is like one big Mardi Gras,
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but instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain.
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And if they like what they see,
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you'll have more beads than you know what to do with.
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And you'll be drunk most of the time.
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So to the Katrina class of 2009,
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I say congratulations, and if you don't remember a thing I said today, remember this.
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You're going to be okay.
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Dum-do-doom-doom-doom.
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Just dance.
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you
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Контекст и фон
В этом вдохновляющем выступлении, представленном Эллен ДеДженерес на выпускном церемонии в 2009 году, она делится своими личными историями и размышлениями о жизни после школы. Эллен, известная своими остроумными шутками и искренними наблюдениями, весело обращается к аудитории, погружая её в свои воспоминания о трудных временах и о том, как важно оставаться стойким в любых обстоятельствах. Ее речь наполнена юмором, что помогает облегчить напряжение в такой важный момент для выпускников.
Топ-5 фраз для ежедневного общения
- Спасибо, что пригласили меня сюда — отличная манера начать разговор и выразить признательность.
- Я совершенно не знаю, что делать дальше — честное признание, которое может помочь наладить контакт с собеседником.
- Я люблю этот город — использование этого выражения помогает выразить свою привязанность к месту.
- Вы выглядите прекрасно в ваших мантиях — хорошая фраза для создания позитивного настроя у собеседников.
- Я пришел сюда не для того, чтобы воровать — в контексте выступления это выражение дает возможность продемонстрировать чувство юмора.
Пошаговое руководство по шадовспику
Чтобы эффективно использовать shadowspeak на основе этого видео, следуйте следующему пошаговому руководству:
- Слушайте — сначала внимательно прослушайте выступление Эллен несколько раз, чтобы понять интонацию и ритм ее речи.
- Краткие пересказы — попробуйте пересказать основные моменты своими словами, это поможет закрепить информацию и улучшить произношение английского.
- Повторение за спикером — слушая видео, повторяйте за Эллен ее фразы, обращая внимание на произношение и интонацию. Это важный этап shadow speech.
- Запишите себя — произнося фразы, запишите свое выступление. После этого прослушайте свою запись, чтобы выявить сильные и слабые стороны.
- Регулярно практикуйтесь — выделите время каждый день для практики с использованием данного видео и других материалов. Чем больше вы будете заниматься, тем лучше будете говорить.
Используя данный подход на shadowing site, вы не только улучшите свое произношение английского, но и научитесь уверенно общаться на различные темы. Не забывайте о важности регулярности в практике — это ключ к успеху!
Что такое техника Shadowing?
Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.
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