Практика Shadowing: English Podcast for Easy English Conversation in Daily Life | Talk Confidently | Speak Like a Leader - Изучайте разговорный английский с YouTube

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What's up everyone?

Welcome back to Podcast and Chill.

I'm Leo.

And I'm Gwen.

This is our little space for learning English.

No stress here, just real talks.

Today we're talking about something I'm not great at.

Walking into a room full of people.

And feeling like you're on the outside looking in?

Exactly.

My brain immediately goes, don't say anything stupid.

Just stay quiet.

And what happens next?

I say nothing.

Then I leave thinking, why didn't I just talk to them?

It's the worst.

That's exactly what we're talking about today.

How to speak with confidence.

But Gwen, here's the weird part.

The more I want to be confident, the more tense I get.

So why does trying make us freeze?

That's the big question, isn't it?

Well, we're getting into that.

We'll look at what's going on inside our heads and how to change it in simple ways.

By the way, this episode is B1-level English, so if you hear new words, don't panic.

We'll break down key vocabulary in our English word journey at the end.

For now, just listen and let it flow.

You don't need to catch everything.

It'll come, naturally.

Alright.

Ready to talk confidently?

Let's do this.

So, Gwen, do you ever join a conversation but just can't focus?

Like, your body's in the room, nodding and smiling, but your mind's somewhere else.

Oh, I know that feeling.

It happens to me sometimes.

Right?

I just don't know why that happened.

It's like there's this force or voice controlling my mind.

It keeps whispering things to me while everyone else is talking.

Whispering what?

So, every time I'm about to speak, it shuts me down with something like, don't say that, nobody cares, just stay quiet, it's safer.

Uh-huh.

While that voice is whispering, what's happening in the real conversation?

It keeps moving, without me.

I'm standing there like a garden statue, watching life move past me while I'm just frozen.

Well, Leo, that means you're actually having two conversations at once.

Two at the same time?

Whoa.

Yeah.

So there's one conversation happening out loud with people.

Meanwhile, the other is inside your head with yourself.

Hmm.

I feel like I'm arguing with myself more than I'm talking to anyone.

I know.

But that's normal.

You probably think that voice is there because you have nothing to say, right?

I mean, yeah.

It feels that way sometimes.

But that's not true.

You do have things to say.

The problem is you're too busy thinking about whether you should say something or not.

And by the time I decide to speak, the moment's gone.

Exactly.

The conversation already moved on, and you're still stuck on the last topic.

True.

It's so exhausting.

So where does this voice even come from?

Like, who invited it?

Well, it comes from caring too much about what other people might think.

Might.

Key word.

Half the time, they're not even thinking about me.

Yeah.

In your head, though.

What if I say something wrong?

What if they think I'm weird?

What if I sound stupid?

Ugh.

Stop reading my diary.

Seriously.

I ask myself those exact questions every single time.

Right.

So when you walk into a conversation with your mind full of those thoughts...

It makes you feel so timid before you even open your mouth.

Exactly.

But you're not really a shy person.

You're just letting that voice run the show.

And when that voice runs the show, there's no room left to actually listen.

Bingo!

You spend so much time watching yourself that you can't be there with people.

So, I'm basically watching a movie of myself instead of being in the actual scene?

Yep.

Your attention should be on the people you talk to, not on the voice in your head putting you down.

But Gwen, it's so hard to stop.

It just turns on by itself.

I know.

The worst part is that those negative thoughts create what I call a mental wall.

A mental wall?

100

Yeah, that wall blocks you from connecting with people.

101

It keeps you safe, sure.

102

But it also keeps you stuck outside the conversation.

103

Huh.

104

Just like standing there like a garden statue.

105

It's quite sad if you think about that.

106

Yeah, it is.

107

Good news is, we don't have to be stuck there forever.

108

We just need to change a few things.

109

Let's start with something simple.

110

body.

111

Your body?

112

I thought this was about my brain.

113

Well, your brain follows your body.

114

It's hard to control your thoughts directly, but you can control your posture.

115

Okay, I'm listening.

116

So what do I do?

117

Stand like a soldier?

118

Close.

119

Just stand straight.

120

Shoulders back, make eye contact.

121

Don't forget to smile.

122

A smile actually helps?

123

Of course.

124

When someone smiles at you, how do you feel?

125

Safe.

126

like I'm allowed to go talk to them.

127

That's right.

128

A smile is like a green traffic light.

129

It tells people you can come closer.

130

Universal welcome sign, eh?

131

Yeah, and the cool part is when you stand tall and smile, your brain goes, oh, we must be confident right now.

132

It's like sending signals to your mind.

133

Ah, fake it till you make it.

134

It's not even fake.

135

You're just choosing a confident posture, and your feelings follow.

136

Let me just sit straight.

137

Huh.

138

It actually doesn't feel that bad.

139

But Gwen, my brain's still loud.

140

That voice doesn't give up easily, does it?

141

Your body's ready, but your thoughts are still running.

142

Hmm.

143

Can I just ignore it and talk anyway?

144

That's one way.

145

But let's get more specific.

146

Say you make a comment and people laugh.

147

What's the first thing that appears in your head?

148

Oh no, I said something stupid.

149

Now they're making fun of me.

150

Yeah, that sounds about right.

151

Now, what if your brain tried this instead?

152

At least I made someone happy.

153

Hold on.

154

That's actually a completely different way to see it.

155

Right?

156

Or if you make a mistake, instead of I'm so dumb, try that's a moment to learn.

157

Let me get this straight.

158

My brain has been feeding me the wrong lines this whole time.

159

Yep, the wrong lines, the wrong script, the whole thing.

160

You just didn't know you could rewrite it.

161

So if I change the thoughts, I change the talk.

162

Is it really that simple?

163

That's the idea.

164

And the thing is, you'll mess up while doing it.

165

But we all do.

166

Because real confidence isn't about never making mistakes, it's about not being afraid of them.

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Yeah, Scared Leo stays quiet.

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Not Scared Leo, though, he might have a real good time.

169

I want to meet this not scared Leo.

170

Does he actually know how to talk to people?

171

He does.

172

But let me guess how you play the conversation game.

173

The conversation game?

174

Uh-huh.

175

Here's a test.

176

When someone's talking, are you already planning what to speak?

177

Isn't that what everyone does?

178

Thinking about what to say next while the other person is still going?

179

That's the problem right there.

180

You're not really listening.

181

You're just waiting for your turn.

182

Huge difference.

183

Oh, you mean I've been treating conversations like standing in line at a coffee shop.

184

A little bit, but here's a better way to play it.

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Imagine a conversation is like playing football.

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Okay, I like this.

187

My social life is basically a sport.

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If you hold the ball too long, like talking only about yourself, the game gets boring, right?

189

Yeah, nobody wants to watch one person run around with the ball forever.

190

And yet, just passing it back with questions, no sharing, that doesn't work either.

191

So too much me or too much them both are bad.

192

To keep the game alive, we need to… We've got to go back and forth.

193

That's what makes it fun.

194

You pass the ball with open-ended questions, the kind people can't just answer with yes or no. Like, what do you think about?

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Or what's the most interesting part for you?

196

That's right.

197

And when they answer, you listen.

198

Like really listen to them, not waiting for your turn.

199

Then I get the ball back with follow-up questions.

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Now you're playing.

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Try something like, why is that?

202

Or tell me more.

203

Simple but gold.

204

Interesting.

205

So if I'm just waiting to speak I'm basically talking to myself pretty much and that's not even a

206

conversation that's just two people taking turns being bored calling me out again hey I'm saying this

207

with love the connection between people needs more than just words it needs presence too huh like be there for them truly listen and respond.

208

Correct.

209

Cool.

210

But even when I'm trying to be present, there's this thing I do that probably ruins it.

211

Tell me already.

212

Now I'm curious.

213

I apologize.

214

For everything.

215

Sorry I'm talking too much.

216

Sorry that was a dumb question.

217

Sorry for even breathing the same air with you.

218

All right.

219

That's a lot of self-deprecation.

220

Leo, why would you put yourself down like that?

221

I don't know.

222

I guess I don't want people to think I'm annoying or rude.

223

Leo, when you do that, it kind of sends the message that you don't value your own voice.

224

And that's just sad.

225

Way worse than being a little annoying.

226

Whoa.

227

Okay, Gwen.

228

That one actually hurt.

229

I thought I was being polite.

230

Nope.

231

People will believe what you tell them.

232

Keep apologizing, and they'll think you should.

233

That's scary.

234

What should I say then?

235

because speaking without saying sorry feels weird.

236

It's simple.

237

Just say what you want to say, then stop.

238

That's it?

239

I don't need to over-explain myself?

240

Not at all.

241

Trust that people understood you.

242

If they don't, they'll ask.

243

What if there's silence after I speak?

244

I always feel like I need to fill it.

245

It's fine, really.

246

A two-second silence isn't a disaster.

247

It's a pause, like in music, you know?

248

You mean the pauses give meaning to the notes?

249

Uh-huh.

250

You don't have to fill every second with sound.

251

Sometimes silence means people are thinking about what you said.

252

So the quiet doesn't always signal danger?

253

Nope.

254

It's just space.

255

And if you still want to, you can ask, does that make sense to you?

256

Or thanks for listening.

257

Instead of apologizing?

258

Yep.

259

Instead of sorry for even breathing the same air with you.

260

All right, all right.

261

I'm done with that habit.

262

It's crazy how normal it felt until you pointed it out.

263

There you go.

264

Now, remember that presence thing we mentioned earlier?

265

Yeah, the truly listen and respond part?

266

Well, that's actually where confidence lives, not in saying the perfect thing.

267

Just being able to be there with someone, fully.

268

All that football passing, the listening, not over-apologizing, is it pointing us to that?

269

Bingo.

270

When you're truly present, the other person notices.

271

Like they feel respected?

272

Yeah.

273

Once they sense that respect, they relax.

274

After that, the conversation just flows.

275

You don't have to force it.

276

Oh, I see it now.

277

Gwen, you know those people who actually listen?

278

Like, really listen?

279

Yeah?

280

What about them?

281

I met a few.

282

And every time I walk away when I'm done talking with them, I think, man, I feel so much better now.

283

But I never knew why.

284

Hmm.

285

The way they listen, there's something about it that strikes a chord, isn't there?

286

Yeah, it just felt so right.

287

Like they actually got me.

288

I just didn't have the words for it before.

289

See?

290

They weren't trying to impress you.

291

They were simply there with you.

292

So confidence isn't about being all smooth.

293

It's about making the other person feel seen?

294

Resonate.

295

That's the word.

296

When your presence resonates with someone, they remember how you made them feel, not what you said.

297

Because it sticks with them.

298

Yep.

299

A good kind of sticky.

300

It's way more attractive than someone trying to be impressive.

301

Okay, but real talk here.

302

I have another problem.

303

Only one?

304

I'm serious.

305

I am so bad at endings.

306

Like, when the conversation's over, I just kinda leave it there?

307

Or mumble, well, see you around, I guess.

308

Please tell me you're joking.

309

I wish I were.

310

It gets so awkward.

311

I don't know how to end it.

312

Listen here, Leo.

313

The last impression?

314

It actually matters more than the first one.

315

Wait, really?

316

Think about it.

317

You have a great chat with someone, then they just disappear.

318

How do you feel?

319

Forgotten, I think.

320

Like it was all fake.

321

Right, but imagine they look at you, smile, and say, hey, I really enjoyed talking with you.

322

You feel...

323

Oh, I feel great.

324

Wonderful even.

325

That's the power of a simple ending for you.

326

You don't need a speech, just a little honesty.

327

No need for fancy goodbye, this was fun, great talking with you, that's enough?

328

That's plenty.

329

It shows you value the time you just shared.

330

You know what I'm realizing?

331

All of this, posture, questions, not apologizing, endings?

332

Yeah.

333

It's a lot to remember.

334

I'm definitely going to mess some of this up.

335

Like I said before, Leo, you will mess up, but that's how you build confidence anyway.

336

Hmm, because confidence is a skill, not something you're born with, am I right?

337

You're on point, and that skill is something you can build by trying, failing, and improving.

338

Every conversation is a practice.

339

You don't have to be perfect right away.

340

Fair point.

341

Nobody picks up a guitar and plays like a rock star overnight.

342

Speak for yourself.

343

I'm still working on Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

344

Well, we all start somewhere, I guess.

345

Even great guitarists had to learn their first chord.

346

True.

347

And since we're all about words here...

348

Oh, is it time?

349

Yep.

350

Time for English word journey, everyone.

351

Let's break down the key words from today's episode.

352

First up, presence.

353

This means you give someone your full attention and really focus on them.

354

Example, I felt calm because of her presence during our conversation.

355

Second, resonate.

356

It means something that connects with your feelings or experiences.

357

For example, his story about feeling nervous in groups resonated with me because I've been there.

358

Next, self-deprecation.

359

This means making yourself or your abilities seem less important than they really are.

360

Example, she made Leitifor a ward with self-deprecation, saying it was just luck.

361

Continue with strike a chord.

362

This phrase means something hits you emotionally because it feels true or familiar.

363

For example, when Leo said he felt like a garden statue, that really struck a chord with me.

364

Next, back and forth.

365

This means something moves from one place to another and back again repeatedly.

366

Example, the back and forth between the two friends was fun to watch.

367

Last one, timid.

368

This word means being shy, lacking confidence, or fearful.

369

For example, the timid student sat in the back and never raised her hand.

370

That's six vocabulary words for your confidence toolbox.

371

But hey, don't click away just yet.

372

Stick around a bit more with us.

373

We're not done until we leave you with something real.

374

Thank you guys so much for spending your time with us today.

375

If this helped, give us a like and share it with someone who needs it.

376

Before you go, remember that voice in your head, the one that tells you to stay quiet?

377

We spent this whole episode talking about how to shut it down.

378

Now, let's make it simple.

379

Always stand straight and smile.

380

That's your signal to turn on the confidence mode.

381

Rewrite the script.

382

Instead of, they're laughing at me, try, at least I made someone smile.

383

Don't forget to pass the ball with questions, listen, and go back and forth.

384

Finally, for the love of everything, stop apologizing.

385

Silence isn't danger, it's just space.

386

After this video, don't just nod and think, OK, I get it.

387

Understanding isn't the same as doing.

388

Here's your mission.

389

Go to the comments and write this sentence.

390

Next time, I will say blank.

391

Fill in the blank with something you're usually afraid to say.

392

It could be, I agree.

393

What do you think?

394

Maybe that's interesting, or just a simple hi.

395

The moment you write it down is the moment you stop imagining and start doing.

396

That's where confidence begins.

397

Not in your head.

398

Right there.

399

In the comments.

400

We're glad you hung out with us today.

401

This is Podcast and Chill.

402

I'm Leo.

403

And I'm Gwen.

404

We'll see you in the next episode.

405

Goodbye.

TRENDING

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