ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: Brené Brown Leaves the Audience SPEECHLESS | One of the Best Motivational Speeches Ever

You know, Maya Angelou has been my most steadfast counselor for my entire life.

I discovered her probably 30 years ago when I was in college.

And I lean into her work.

You know how when you find those people that just are unsparing and honest in their work, but they also bring you joy and comfort?

She's that for me.

And I love everything she does except for that quote.

That quote has pissed me off for decades.

And I never understood this idea that you're free when you belong nowhere.

And as a social scientist, I know that belonging, I know this for sure.

Like if you ask me the one thing I know for sure, 200,000 pieces of data.

I know in the absence of love and belonging, there's always suffering.

That I know for sure.

So this quote from her about belonging everywhere, which is really nowhere, is what sets us free, was so troubling to me.

But then I started digging in

and I started trying to understand what does it mean to belong and I never thought of the concept of belonging.

I thought belonging was like we have a crew.

And belonging is something you kind of negotiate with external groups of people, but it's not.

What I found very quickly is the rest of

that actual quote is part of an interview

that she did where she ended up with Bill Moyers where

she ends up saying you know he ends up pushing a little bit on

and saying so are you saying that you belong nowhere

and to no one and she said I belong to Maya

and what I found is that true belonging is a spiritual practice

and it's about the ability to find sacredness in both being a part of something

but also the courage to stand alone

and the people for those of us who struggle to have the courage to stand alone especially

when we know that it risks we're risking

that sense of being a part of something because we disagree yes

because we have a different opinion because we love something different

that is the mark that's the mark of true belonging to

be able to say yes I am a part of something bigger

but I also will stand alone when I need to you belong everywhere and nowhere and that is is liberation.

Because when I talk, when I do a lot of leadership work, I talk about understanding your personal values and my two personal values are faith and courage.

And so they say don't talk about faith, it's inappropriate, this is a you know an organic corporation.

And so I just got to the point where I'm like look I've sat across from thousands

and thousands of people over the last two decades of my life listening to the hardest things you can imagine

and the two things that everyone has in common when they're talking about those things are cussing and praying.

If you don't want me to cuss and you don't want me to pray that's awesome.

Ask somebody else.

Because what I'm not going to do is get up and do.

And there are a million people in this space who are better than I am, who know different things than I do.

Invite them.

If you need me to wear a suit, I totally get it.

I'm not going to do that.

When I speak in public, I don't get up there to talk to my, you know, to talk from my Brooks Brothers self to your Brooks Brothers self.

I get up there and when I walk on the stage, I'm going to talk about things that 90% of the people in the audience have never thought about, talked about, and are scared to listen to.

And they need to see me as a person, and I'm just that person.

There's this part from Braving the Wilderness that it really changed me.

It's the practice that came from the book, and it is, don't walk through the world looking for evidence that you don't belong, because you will always find it.

Don't walk through the world looking for evidence that you're not enough, because you'll always find it.

Our worth and our belonging are not negotiated with other people.

We carry those inside of our hearts.

And so for me, I know who I am, I'm clear about that, And I'm not going to negotiate that with you.

I will negotiate a contract with you.

I will negotiate maybe even a topic with you.

But I'm not going to negotiate who I am with you.

Because then, and this is I think the heart of the book, then I may fit in for you, but I no longer belong to myself.

And that is a betrayal I'm not willing to do anymore.

I spent the first 30 years of my life doing that.

I'm not willing to betray myself anymore.

I just can't do it.

What is your passion for?

So, Braving is all about trust.

And so, probably three or four years ago, in a lot of my leadership work, I probably, and this is something people don't know about me,

I probably spend 90% of my time inside big organizations working with C-suite teams.

That's what I do most of the time.

And so in working with leaders, one of the things that kept coming up is trust, trust building in teams, building trust in a culture.

The thing that's hard about trust is if I work for you

and you call me in and I'm like really upset

because I got passed over for a promotion and you say to me, look, Brene, You're doing great work, but there are some trust issues.

The minute you say anything that I can perceive as I am no longer trustworthy or you don't trust me, we go completely limbic.

We go completely out of listening with our prefrontal cortex to listening to fight, flight, freeze, defend.

Because our trust is our integrity.

It's who we are.

So, I kept wondering, when we talk about trust, what are we actually talking about?

What could you call me into your office and say to me that would be more helpful,

more impactful and productive than we have trust issues or I don't trust you?

So we dug into the data to figure out what is trust, what do we mean when we say trust?

And what I found are there are seven elements that we're talking about when we talk about trust.

And these are observable and measurable.

These are what we can talk about with each other.

So BRAVING is the acronym we use.

B is boundaries.

You set boundaries.

When you don't know what they are, you ask.

You're clear about what's okay and not okay, which is, as you know, so hard for people.

Boundaries are really hard.

Reliability is the R.

You do what you say and you say what you do.

The big hard thing about reliability is you're not hustling for worthiness, so you're not completely over committing and not delivering.

That's the reliability issue.

A is accountability.

You don't back channel and blame.

You hold people accountable in a straightforward way.

The V, which I think is really interesting, is the vault.

What people don't understand about the vault that's really interesting to me too, is that you call me in and you say, I don't understand why I got the position.

You say, look, we've got some trust issues that we need to work through specifically.

I want to talk about confidentiality in the vault.

100

And I look at you like, Marie, I have never shared a single thing that you have told me in the 10 years we've known each other.

101

And you look back at me and say, yes, but you come in here on a regular basis and share things with me that are not yours to share.

102

It's the other side of confidentiality.

103

It is not only do you not talk out of school between us, you don't come in here and say, hey look, I know what's going on with John, blah, blah, you know, or this is what's happening with, you know.

104

So, because when I do that, and I do that to get connection with you, I do that as a bid for connection.

105

Let me tell you what's going on that you don't know about.

106

But when I walk out of the office, you trust me less.

107

Because I'm using stories that are not mine as currency.

108

So we've got the vault.

109

Then we go to I, integrity, which is choosing courage over comfort, practicing your values.

110

And this is a big one.

111

I think we have this in common and I love this about you.

112

It's choosing what's right over what's fun, fast and easy.

113

We have a culture of fun, fast and easy.

114

We have a culture of people who don't do discomfort.

115

I've never achieved a single thing in my career or life comfortably.

116

And then we go to N for non-judgment.

117

You can ask for help without feeling judged and I can ask for help without judging myself.

118

And then generosity, which I think is probably the biggest, hardest one for me sometimes, which is when something happens, I assume positive intent.

119

So if things go sideways between us, I'm like, damn it, Marie, I'm so pissed off.

120

I go and say, let me assume the best.

121

Help me understand what happened, Marie.

122

I thought we had a plan around this.

123

And I give you a chance, the benefit of the doubt, before I launch into my anger.

124

You know, that's human nature, that's wiring.

125

In the absence of data, we will always make up story.

126

And so I think for Braving the Wilderness, the whole idea of the wilderness being those times when we stand alone, and those times when we go out on a limb,

127

the times we walk away from what we know, our ideological bunkers and our beliefs, Braving is the tool to help us manage the wilderness.

128

I'll leave you with this.

129

There will be times when standing alone feels too hard, too scary, and will doubt our ability to make our way through the uncertainty.

130

Someone somewhere will say, don't do it.

131

You don't have what it takes to survive the wilderness.

132

This is when you reach deep into your wild heart and remind yourself, I am the wilderness.

133

you

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ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: Brené Brown Leaves the Audience SPEECHLESS | One of the Best Motivational Speeches Ever

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