Shadowing Practice: How To Create Exceptional Success in Life - Learn English Speaking with Video

It's so frustrating to feel like who you are right now and who you actually wanna be are two completely different people.

At 23, I was genuinely terrified of my own future.

I saw myself headed straight for a life where I had built absolutely nothing.

And I realized that the only person who could actually change that was me.

So I did.

I built a life that I actually respect today.

I've built multiple nine-figure companies and I'm married to my best friend.

And I truly live my definition of a dream life.

And I did this by using six standards that separate average people from the exceptional ones.

Standard number one is understanding that it's actually okay to be afraid that you're going to turn out average.

When I was in my early 20s, I had the stomach-turning vision of myself at 80 years old, having lived my entire life as a trophy wife.

I grew up in a tiny town where my graduating class had 56 kids and my world felt 56 kids long.

Too small, too constricting.

The life I was building inside this small world was heading somewhere

that I honestly hated and that terror of the alternative forced me to make extreme decisions.

Leon Fessinger pioneered cognitive dissonance theory at Stanford in the 1950s,

which showed that humans experience measurable psychological distress when their behavior doesn't actually align with how they view themselves,

essentially their self-concept.

Psychology Today published a piece in April, 2026, confirming that feeling stuck stems from the exact gap between what you value and what you actually do.

I felt that signal, and I felt it hard.

And that's why my extreme decisions kicked in, which felt radical to people around me.

But I knew that if I didn't lock in, as the saying goes today, that 80-year-old me that I saw in the vision would actually be my reality.

And here's the thing.

It's not like people don't know what their actions are leading them toward.

But coming to terms with the long-term consequences of your small little actions today is one big psychological dump

that your brain is just not willing to touch.

That's why people scroll on their phones and lower their expectations to try to kill that discomfort.

Making yourself numb to the gap between who you are and who you could be ruins your potential.

If you feel restless, your self-concept has simply outgrown your current reality.

And if you're here listening to this, some part of you already knows this.

But thankfully, the first step isn't actually as scary as it looks.

So this week, take out one piece of paper and on one side, list exactly who you are right now, detailing your income, your habits, and your daily reality.

On the other side, list who you are capable of becoming.

Look at the gap between those two lists.

Every item inside that gap is the exact roadmap that you need to start executing on today.

And the good news is that only you get to decide what those items are.

Stater number two requires you to stop seeking permission from people who've never done what you wanna do.

Something that's not talked about enough is the shame that you feel when you've realized that you've outgrown your circle of friends.

I had friends in my early 20s, and I knew deep down that the people around me weren't operating at the level I wanted to reach.

They were okay with the current version of Natalie, but I wasn't.

And it's incredibly important to realize what you need to grow.

I discovered Grant and Alana Cardone online and they completely shifted my inputs.

Instead of going out on Friday and Saturday nights, I would stay home, watch YouTube videos of their show called The G&E Show.

They had hours of content online

and I replaced the existing environment with this new environment

because I didn't need to meet them or have them in my life in order to learn from them.

I read every book that they wrote.

My favorite is Sell or Be Sold on Grandside and Build an Empire on Elena's.

And I still have the sticky notes

that I wrote on almost every single page one of the most cringy things

that I've ever done was DM Elena before I had ever met her in person.

At the time, I was just an online cyber stalker, and I told her that one day I was going to be her best friend.

And when she and I connected on Instagram, I deleted the DM because I was so embarrassed by this.

But it was true.

I was putting out in the future that I wanted to be her friend, and therefore I had to start showing up today as if I already was, which forced me to look at the habits that I had,

the friends that I had, and the things that I did consistently

that would either contribute to me having a great relationship with this person or detract from that.

Albert Bandura developed self-efficacy theory at Stanford and identified experiences that are lived through other people, aka vicarious experiences.

They are a primary source of self-belief.

Looking deeper at this, the American Psychological Association also published an overview in October of 2025

showing that observing role models achieve your aspirations, literally recalibrates your brain's belief in what is possible.

That is incredible.

How insane is it that people around you are defining what you think you're capable of in real time?

For women specifically, a 2020 systemic review in Frontiers in Psychology

found that role models were a more significant factor than access to capital for women pursuing entrepreneurship.

The point is, your future is literally invisible to anyone who hasn't built something similar.

When you surround yourself with people who haven't achieved what you want, your brain automatically recalibrates to their ceiling.

You absorb their risk tolerance and their definition of enough.

It is a heavy realization to come to because of the emotional attachments involved.

But selectively curating your circle doesn't mean that you cut everyone off.

Here's what you do instead.

Make yourself busy.

Most people think

that they have to cut out all of their friends in order to become the person that they wanna be.

That's not the case.

If you just make yourself busy with new inputs, You just have less time for your current circle.

You don't have to stop being friends with them.

You just have to stop spending as much time and have them be as influential as they are.

You need new influences.

So instead of going out on a Friday night, say that you're busy because you are.

You are spending time watching YouTube videos.

You're spending time reading books.

You're spending time going through courses in order to become the next version of yourself.

This doesn't mean that you go out by yourself.

This just means that you replace the time that you were spending with people who potentially were a lid for you.

And you have that time now spent with new influences

that help you get to where you're trying to go because they've actually built what you're trying to build.

Standard number three is that your stats don't lie.

Early in my 20s, I had to get so honest with myself about all the things that I wasn't.

When I looked at my bank account, it didn't reflect the value that I thought I could create.

When I looked at my abs, it did not reflect that I was actually in the gym because I wasn't.

When I looked at the friendships that I had, it didn't reflect anything that looked like depth.

And it was so challenging for me to accept

that my life wasn't a real reflection of what I thought it was supposed to be.

I had left college and thought that life was going to be amazing and exciting.

And I was faced with the reality that I really didn't like my life very much.

I didn't like the results that I had

and I just couldn't keep lying to myself as

if I was putting in work that I really wasn't to have a life that I wanted.

100

James Clear's Atomic Habits relies on decades of behavioral psychology to prove that true behavior change is an identity change.

101

Research in health psychology journals on centered identity transformation found

102

that shifting your self-concepts to align with your desired behavior makes that behavior self-reinforcing rather than a daily test of willpower.

103

All of that means that your environmental design predicts long-term outcomes far more reliably than motivation.

104

Your pattern is you.

105

And if it's on autopilot, you're not even in control of who you are.

106

And it's a compounding effect.

107

These unexamined habits stack up silently into a life that you never actually designed or wanted for that matter.

108

People blame their circumstances, their upbringing, the inheritance that they never got.

109

But the cause of their mediocrity is right there in how they spend their Tuesday evenings.

110

Every time you default to low standard habits, you cast a vote for the average version of yourself.

111

So do this for one day.

112

Track every single thing that you do from the minute

113

that you wake up to the minute that you go to sleep in 15 minute increments.

114

Categorize every action into either building the life you want or maintaining the life you have.

115

If the vast majority of your day falls into the maintaining column, you have a concrete list of behaviors to replace immediately.

116

Standard number four handles how to outgrow your environment without guilt.

117

I realized early on

118

that being alone with my husband was significantly better than being surrounded by people keeping me in a comfortable life

119

that I hated.

120

A study with professors from Harvard Medical School

121

and UC San Diego tracked over 12,000 people for over 32 years for the Framingham Heart Study.

122

They found that if a close friend becomes obese, your probability of becoming obese increases by a massive 57%.

123

Their book, Connected, proved this contagion effect applies to happiness, drinking, and income-related behaviors.

124

They name this the three degrees of influence rule

125

because your behavior is measurably shaped by people up to three degrees of separation away from you.

126

Your environment is the invisible ceiling on your potential.

127

Your brain absorbs the expectations and the standards of the people around you.

128

And if your circle thinks that making $100,000 is exceptional, your brain will unconsciously treat that number as a hard ceiling.

129

Standard four can help you identify the ceiling, but standard number five helps you raise your floor because your minimum standards dictate your maximum income.

130

I kept a toxic employee for six months because he controlled a multi-million dollar project.

131

My team watched me.

132

They watched me tolerate the disrespect and their confidence in my leadership went down.

133

They watched me for months not handle him

134

and my rationale was he was responsible for this project and yet I watched our culture get challenged.

135

I watched specific individuals start to question me and I started to question myself.

136

He was single handily one of the most challenging people

137

that I have ever worked with and what I learned from it was that I should have made the decision sooner.

138

My inability to make a fast decision early on is what

139

allowed a tiny problem to grow into a systemic issue inside our organization and Stanford University research proves this.

140

The research shows that delayed execution actually weakens your self-belief more than outright failure.

141

Doing a few tasks hours after you committed to registers in your brain as a broken promise.

142

So what do I mean by a floor?

143

It's the standard that you hold when you are exhausted and when no one is watching.

144

What you tolerate is what your environment becomes known for.

145

And the people who produce exceptional results rely on non-negotiable minimums that they protect aggressively.

146

A goal without a floor is just a wish that ends up collapsing the second that life gets difficult.

147

So you have to define the absolute minimum for your health, for your work, for your relationships, for any place that you have a goal in your life.

148

You have to establish the specific line that you will never cross even on your absolute worst day.

149

Finally, standard number six demands that you move from a dreamer to an architect and go from wishing to building.

150

The gap between people who want exceptional lives and the people who actually create them comes down entirely to this one thing.

151

In order to truly get the life that you want, you have to do all of the unsexy things that you don't want to do.

152

And instead of thinking that you just have to add a bunch of new stuff, one of the fastest ways to change your life is to figure out what you're willing to remove

153

and for most people that looks like some version of television

154

and some version of social media i challenge you right now put this video on pause

155

and open up your screen time

156

and look at how much time you spend across social media

157

or television every single day the average american spends almost four hours a day between social media

158

and television wasting their time instead of building your future

159

so look at how much time you're spending across those things

160

and take that time and reallocate it to the work that you need to do.

161

Instead of consuming content on social media, if you want to get known on social media, actually post content.

162

If you're looking to understand AI better, actually spend that time using AI and having it help you understand what you don't know, so then it can teach you what you need to know.

163

There's no shortage of ways that you can use your time to actually create the life that you want, but you have to be super honest with yourself that this life

164

that you want isn't just going to come because you created a vision board and you you had some big dream.

165

It comes from doing all of the unsexy work that nobody wants to highlight because it's not cute, it's not fun, and it's not Instagrammable.

166

Dreamers talk and they're quite good at talking or building stories in their head, but it rarely translates.

167

Now an architect, on the other hand, engineers the steps to actually build it.

168

And the blueprint to that architecture is what this is.

169

Effort without architecture is just random activity.

170

Specifying exactly when and where you will execute a task pre-decides the action

171

that your brain doesn't have to rely on willpower for in the moment.

172

So take your single biggest goal and answer four specific questions on paper.

173

Define the measurable finished version.

174

Pick an exact completion date.

175

Outline the five milestones between now and then and identify the single task that you must execute before Monday to start building.

176

If you want to see how these principles apply to wealth, watch this video next to see how the top 1% really thinks about wealth.

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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları

Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “How To Create Exceptional Success in Life” videosuna dayanıyor. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 176 cümle ve 2560 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 12:41 sürüyor. Konuşmacı hızlı konuşuyor, dakikada yaklaşık 202 kelime; bu yüzden birbirine bağlanan ve zayıflayan sesler duyacaksınız. Kelimelerin %84’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında; geri kalanına başlamadan önce bakmakta fayda var.

Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler

Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:

Kelime	Telaffuz	Anlam
exceptional sıfat	/ɪkˈsɛpʃənəl/	istisnai
ceiling isim	/ˈsilɪŋ/	tavan
execute fiil	/ˈɛksɪˌkjuːt/	idam etmek
dreamer isim	/ˈdɹimɚ/	hayalperest, hayalci
align fiil	/əˈlaɪn/	hizalanmak, hizaya geçmek
obese sıfat	/oʊˈbis/	obez
absorb fiil	/æbˈsɔɹb/	absorbe etmek, soğurmak
architect isim	/ˈɑɹ.kɪˌtɛkt/	mimar
invisible sıfat	/ɪnˈvɪzəb(ə)l/	görünmez
autopilot isim	/ˈɔtoʊˌpaɪlət/	otopilot
blueprint isim	/ˈbluːˌpɹɪnt/	mavi kopya, ozalit kopya
constrict fiil	/kənˈstɹɪkt/	daralmak, sıkışmak
contagion isim	/kənˈteɪd͡ʒən/	salgın
increment isim	/ˈɪŋkɹɪmn̩t/	artım, artış
stalker isim	/ˈstɔːkə(ɹ)/	takipçi, önücü

Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller

Kelime	Anlam
come down fiil	düşmek
figure out fiil	açığa çıkarmak
go out fiil	çıkmak
show up fiil	ortaya çıkmak
take out fiil	çıkarmak

Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler

Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:

Here's what you do instead.
You don't have to stop being friends with them.
You're spending time reading books.
This doesn't mean that you go out by yourself.
Standard number three is that your stats don't lie.

Bu videodaki dil bilgisi

Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:

Yapı	Videoda
Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem	I've built · who've never done · you've realized
İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi	person who could · anyone who hasn · people who haven
Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli	Be Sold · are lived · was faced

Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar

Konuşmacı you're, didn't, don't gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 49 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.

“sh” ve “zh” sesleri: exceptional /ɪkˈsɛpʃənəl/, measurable /ˈmɛʒəɹəbəl/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, aspiration /ˌæspəˈɹeɪʃən/, negotiable /nɪˈɡoʊʃəbəl/
Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: exceptional /ɪkˈsɛpʃənəl/, measurable /ˈmɛʒəɹəbəl/, recalibrate /ˌɹiˈkæl.ə.bɹeɪt/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, invisible /ɪnˈvɪzəb(ə)l/

Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:

/w/ — dudaklar yuvarlak, /v/ değil: willpower /ˈwɪlˌpaʊɚ/, weaken /ˈwikən/, consequence /ˈkɑn.sɪ.kwəns/
Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: dreamer /ˈdɹimɚ/, blueprint /ˈbluːˌpɹɪnt/, cringey /ˈkɹɪnd͡ʒi/, curate /ˈkjʊɹɪt/, frustrate /ˈfɹʌsˌtɹeɪt/
/æ/ — “e”den daha açık: recalibrate /ˌɹiˈkæl.ə.bɹeɪt/, absorb /æbˈsɔɹb/, aspiration /ˌæspəˈɹeɪʃən/, categorize /ˈkætɪɡəˌɹaɪz/, detract /dɪˈtɹækt/

Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır

Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; exceptional, ceiling, execute gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.

Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?

Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.

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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları

Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler

Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller

Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler

Bu videodaki dil bilgisi

Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar

Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır

Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?