Shadowing Practice: How The Top 1% Handle Hard Conversations - Learn English Speaking with Video

Bir pratik modu seçin

Her mod tam ekran bir pratik odası açar.

269 cümleler

Cümleler çok kısa veya çok uzun ise, ayarlamak için Düzenle'ye tıklayın.

Most people think if you avoid a hard conversation, it means you're just afraid or anxious.

But the truth is, it just means that you're lacking a few communication skills

that top performers and communicators use every single day.

I've co -founded a company doing over a quarter billion dollars of revenue per year, and I've hired, trained, and even fired over a thousand people.

Trust me, I've had to be really hard on some of them, and they sometimes hated me for it.

And still, the conversation I regret the most is the one I didn't have soon enough.

It cost us a business deal worth millions, but worst of all it eroded the confidence my team had in me

but here's the thing every hard conversation starts small a tiny water leak

and every week you stay quiet the pressure builds

and one day it bursts and floods everything you were trying to protect

so the only way out is to act early

and this is the four -stage framework i use to know exactly how

and when to say the hard thing

so the first thing you have to understand is

that every hard conversation has a price and it goes up every single week, you don't have it.

Which means the one you're thinking about right now is already the cheapest it will ever be.

We had a senior exec who worked for us for about two years.

He was critical to a multimillion dollar investment, but more often than I'd like to admit,

he would pop off at the team and even curse at them.

I remember the first time this happened to me.

I was on an airplane with him.

We were flying across the country

and we had about a seven hour flight in front of us

and we were going through what should have been very benign project updates

but he kept inserting himself in such an aggressive way at first he got aggressive then it turned into anger

and at the end it was a full -blown meltdown

and i already worked with this person for about a year

and i saw little tiny signs of this type of behavior with other people

but this was the first time i experienced it

because initially i wrote off all of his behavior as stress we're working on a lot of international projects

so he was doing back and forth travel working late hours and taking really early morning meetings to accommodate all of it.

What I should have said in that moment is you are not allowed to communicate like this.

And if you ever do this again, you no longer have the opportunity to work here.

Instead of saying that I made sense of his behavior.

I said, let's just sleep it off.

I'm sure you're in a high pressure situation.

I know you haven't slept very much.

Let's just tone this down and revisit this tomorrow.

For far too long, I told myself that I was being patient, that it wasn't the right time, that I was protecting the project.

But what I was actually doing was just protecting myself from the discomfort of having the conversation

and having to back up the conversation with action.

And here's why I missed it.

Every reason I had for staying quiet that day was true.

He really was traveling.

It really had been a brutal week.

It was an excuse, but it wasn't a lie.

And that's what makes it so hard to argue with.

I waited and the next week had a huge event.

So I waited again.

And that's how six months turns into a year because it's never one moment.

It's never one decision.

It's excuse after excuse and becoming more and more reasonable, which allows the whole thing to start to crumble.

So if there's a conversation you've been putting off for more than two weeks, the only person who thinks it's okay is you.

Everybody around you already knows the problem.

So try swapping the sentence you keep repeating to yourself.

Instead of, it's not the right time, say the honest version.

I've decided not to do it because that's what's actually happening.

These are two different sentences and most people just use the first to justify the second it.

And that's what I was doing, deciding not to do it.

Because in my mind, I was doing the math on whether it was worth it at each point.

But my math was completely off.

That's the second thing nobody tells you.

You're waiting for the right moment because in your head, you price how uncomfortable the conversation will be.

But you never price what waiting costs.

Almost every hard conversation you're avoiding comes down to three things.

First one, you don't say the hard thing because you need the person.

That's the senior employee I was talking about before.

90 % of his job really wasn't being done correctly but

that 10 % that multi -million dollar project is really what was holding me hostage

and keeping him on the team but here's the funny thing he actually tricked me

because I didn't at the time realize

that 90 % of the job wasn't getting done it's only after

he left where I got to see all of the pieces out of place where I realized

I was only holding on to him because I was thinking

that this one thing was working

and I was willing to not look at these other pieces don't do this to yourself

because you will start to feel like you've compromised your ability to hold your team accountable

if you know that one project is so important

and you're letting everything else slip learn from my mistake reorganize the activity

so you're not expecting one person to make this thing happen

while also realizing that this other side of the business is being dropped

that can't happen so reorganize the work how do you bring somebody in to handle this side of the situation.

That way, at least you know that the reason that this person is there is to get one thing done.

And if they don't do it, you have good reason to just move on.

If they do do it, fantastic.

They'd move the business forward.

But you didn't ignore this other component that the business needed to have attention on.

Now, the second one is guilt.

And guilt can be heavier because the people that you feel guilt about haven't done anything wrong.

Everyone knows you should cut toxics people.

But the uncomfortable truth is that neutral people, even lifelong friends, are also quietly costing you success.

When I think back to the early Cardo Ventures team, our first eight hires were people that Fran and I already knew.

People I had worked with before.

Some of them I had close personal relationships with.

And they stayed for a very long time.

But as Cardo Ventures grew, we also outgrew their skill sets.

And these are the people who helped build the thing.

But the thing became bigger than their abilities.

I'm specifically thinking about one team member we'll call her sarah early on she saw one of our largest departments

100

and she did a phenomenal job of getting us to 100 clients

101

but then it started to break and we were never able to scale past

102

that 100 mark and

103

so i had to have a very difficult conversation with someone i had worked with for almost a decade

104

and tell her

105

that she was no longer the right person to grow this department that's the hard truth

106

that the person

107

that got you from zero to 10 million is likely not the same person

108

that's going to get you from 10 million to 100 million the third reason people delay hard conversations is fear,

109

especially when the person that you need has power over you.

110

People think speaking up to someone with power is about having courage.

111

It has nothing to do with courage.

112

It's about deciding that the outcome of staying quiet is worse than the outcome of them being upset.

113

When you stay quiet, you think that you're being patient and measured, giving someone the benefit of the doubt.

114

But people around you don't see patience.

115

They see permission.

116

The leaders that you have around you, the team you have around you is a direct reflection of you.

117

And the people who are truly pulling their weight notice when others aren't.

118

And they also notice when you let it slide.

119

So they start to wonder, why does this person get special treatment?

120

And does the standard really even matter?

121

When I waited to have the conversation with my toxic senior employee for six months, my team started to second guess my judgment.

122

I had countless phone calls late at night, early in the morning, working through these problematic situations

123

that the senior leader was causing because my team knew that I saw the problem and yet I wasn't actively doing anything.

124

But me not handling it was an actual choice I made and they judged it based off of that decision.

125

See the thing is you don't lose your team's respect the day you fire someone.

126

You lose it every single day you don't fire someone who's wrong for the company.

127

This is the toughest thing I've had to learn about hard conversations.

128

The confrontation you're avoiding doesn't disappear while you wait.

129

It compounds.

130

You think you're being kind by staying quiet but the longer you wait, the more that hard conversation feels like an ambush when it finally happens.

131

Early on in my career, I was leading a team of developers and they were a bunch of dudes who had a very technical skill set.

132

I did not have that technical skill set.

133

I was responsible for the product and their output that was servicing our clients.

134

So I already had a difficult time managing them because they were older, they were dudes, they had more experience,

135

and they had a very specialized technical skill set.

136

And two of them in particular would show up in a way where they would just bounce back

137

and forth about all the problems.

138

This is never going to work.

139

Here are all the problems I ran into.

140

And every daily stand -up sounded like this.

141

It was just a sounding board of the two of them going back

142

and forth ping -ponging about all the problems and why this was never going to work.

143

So after a handful of months of being frustrated that they weren't looking at how it could work,

144

I finally made the decision to fire both of them.

145

And when I fired both of them, it came as a complete surprise to them.

146

Because it was a surprise.

147

I had never given them any feedback.

148

I didn't tell them that I didn't appreciate their negativity.

149

I didn't tell them that it was no longer tolerated for them to communicate like this.

150

I didn't even tell them that they should come up with solutions.

151

I just would listen because I didn't know what else to do in these meetings.

152

I felt like they were the experts and because they couldn't figure it out,

153

I was just going to let go of them and find other experts who could.

154

This is the wrong way to handle any hard conversation

155

because the person that you need to have the hard conversation with might not know what they're doing.

156

So they just keep doing it and then it gets worse.

157

And when you finally do say something, it is way bigger than it needed to be.

158

You've been carrying months of frustration and it feels like an ambush to them.

159

Silence is not kindness.

160

This is comfort disguised as caring.

161

Kindness is telling someone the truth

162

while the truth is still small enough to act on before it becomes a firing

163

or a breakup or the conversation

164

that you should have had a year ago in a work environment

165

there's usually a clear process for talking to a team member

166

who can no longer contribute in the way the business needs

167

but in your personal life it can feel easier to let toxic people stick around

168

because the cost isn't as obvious

169

or as measurable as it is with a bad employee

170

i had a close friend of mine who couldn't be happy for my success

171

i would have these breakthroughs in our business

172

and these breakthroughs in servicing our clients and instead of being interested and asking questions about what i was doing, what my thought process was,

173

even the toll that the pressure had on me.

174

It was always about her and her life and what she was doing.

175

And I loved listening to what she was doing and I loved talking about her life, but there was never any real interest in mine.

176

And it made me feel like when I did share something with her, she just wasn't interested.

177

So I really felt like my accomplishments were diminished.

178

I was doing such cool things and she couldn't be happy for me about them.

179

And this made me realize the toll that this relationship was taking on me.

180

I felt like I had to keep selling myself on being interested in her life because she wasn't actually interested in mine,

181

which made me pause and think about the life that I wanted for myself and the people that I wanted around me.

182

I started asking myself, if somebody doesn't fit the picture of where I see myself going in the next two years,

183

three years, five years, Are they really gonna add value to help me get there?

184

And this didn't mean having some big blow -up conversation with her.

185

It just allowed me to put space in the relationship.

186

So I was able to continue to pursue the things I wanted to without feeling the negativity and the lack of support.

187

Which brings me to the last stage.

188

The skill was never courage.

189

The skill is speed.

190

Here's what happens when you say the hard thing right away instead of waiting six months.

191

With end -of -year promotions right around the corner, this is my one solid data that I always hold onto when making this decision.

192

I never promote somebody who isn't actually ready.

193

This person was my senior director of HR and she wanted to be a vice president.

194

Four years with us, she'd moved her entire life from New York to Scottsdale for this job

195

and no one ever questioned the hours she put in.

196

On paper, the case made itself.

197

What I could see and what she couldn't was that in meetings with executives, she went quiet.

198

She was the youngest person in the room and often the only woman in the room.

199

And she had decided that meant that she had the least to say.

200

She was excellent at the work, but she wasn't showing up with the authority that the title needed.

201

So I could have just given her the promotion.

202

Plenty of people would have.

203

Or I could have said nothing about why she wasn't getting it and let her work it out on her own,

204

which is the version most people pick.

205

Instead, I told her the hard thing.

206

And it was not easy for me.

207

What if she became so frustrated about not getting a VP that she just left entirely?

208

It felt very risky.

209

But I told her anyway in her one -on -one.

210

I told her that if she wanted to be a VP,

211

she needed to start acting like one and I wasn't gonna promote her until I actually saw the behavior shift.

212

You see, it's so key to have a place where hard things like this can surface on a regular basis,

213

which is why every leader should have regular one -on -ones with the people that report to them.

214

The one -on -one framework that I use is linked below

215

and I've used this across the hundreds of team members

216

that work inside my organization to give them a structure for how to have a conversation with their manager

217

and equally for the manager to hold the team member accountable to what they should be developing.

218

What are their goals?

219

How do their metrics align to those things?

220

What are the key initiatives that need to be talked about this week to move that role forward?

221

You see, the only reason that this piece of feedback with her worked was because of when it happened.

222

It happened as soon as the subject was on the table.

223

The exact same words six months later, waiting for a performance review, wouldn't have been helpful.

224

But this was the small feedback

225

that I could give her on her recurring one -on -ones

226

that allowed her to feel like I was actually working with her.

227

I was advocating for her.

228

I wanted this for her so that she could start making actual improvements

229

She was upset because she expected a promotion and she felt like she deserved it

230

But she took the feedback and it made her better

231

She thanked me for it later and told me that

232

if I hadn't been able to have the conversation with her She wouldn't have improved and from my standpoint

233

What's incredible about this is today

234

She's my chief of staff

235

and she can handle any conversation in any room I don't care

236

if it's a business owner with a hundred million dollar business

237

or if it's a brand new team member who's being welcomed inside our organization.

238

She has the executive presence of a chief of staff.

239

So what's helpful is when you ask yourself, what is the worst realistic outcome if I say the hard thing?

240

Not the catastrophic fantasy, the realistic one.

241

You see, in my experience, the realistic one is just a hard 10 -minute conversation, whereas the cost of not saying it is months of resentment.

242

This is my hiring philosophy.

243

The unteachable thing is curiosity.

244

I've hired thousands of people across my companies and the pattern holds true every time.

245

You can hire someone at a $3 million accounting level and they're already the expert.

246

That's fine, even if they don't have the $10 million skill yet.

247

But the moment they think that being an expert means that they know everything, they become their own lid.

248

I need you to be hungry, not comfortable.

249

And you can't just focus on what you already know

250

because you have to ask what there is to learn in order for any business to grow.

251

The person who can be realigned is still hungry.

252

And when I tell them that something isn't where it needs to be, they lean in but the person who's done growing they think

253

that they already know everything and they defend their position instead of listening

254

if you want the interview process that i've used to interview thousands of people

255

and build my team across hundreds of team members find me on instagram

256

and dm me the word interview and i will send you my exact interview process

257

that has three steps right in your box

258

so think about the person you've been protecting from the truth

259

now imagine them hearing it from someone else in six months

260

or figuring out on their own and realizing

261

that you knew the whole time

262

which version do you want to be in on monday write down the one thing

263

that you need to say to that person not the softened version the real one

264

and then say it today not a list not everything

265

you've been only on to just the one thing the person you're thinking about right now already knows this

266

so say it while it's relevant now knowing

267

when to have these hard conversations is something

268

that the top 0 .1 percent do effortlessly do you want to find out what else

269

i've learned from being around the top one percent go watch this video next i think you'll like it.

Uygulamayı İndir

Akıcı konuşmak için ihtiyacınız olan her şey

AI TelaffuzHer cümleyi puanla

IPA AlıştırmasıHer sesi ustalaştır

Kelime BilgisiKelime bankanızı oluşturun

Kelime OyunuOynarken öğrenin

QR Tara

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

Aynı Kanal

FOR YOU

Video Öner

465 cümleler

How CEO’s Handle Difficult Conversations (Ways I Wish Someone Had Told Me)

Business EnglishWorking Adults

1008 cümleler

Business Meeting Dialogues in English — Listening Practice (B2 – C1)

Business EnglishWorking Adults

46 cümleler

The Hard Truth About Leading Change

Business EnglishWorking Adults

105 cümleler

The Guide To Talk To Anyone (Regardless of Their Seniority)

Business EnglishWorking Adults

304 cümleler

I made 500,000 cold calls and learned this

Business EnglishWorking Adults

417 cümleler

How To Speak Like A Top 1% CEO

Business EnglishWorking Adults

14 cümleler

How to Admit To Your Boss You're Burned Out

Business EnglishWorking Adults

351 cümleler

Directness with Respect: How to Make the Hard Conversations Easy

Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults

58 cümleler

You Hired Them for a Reason. So, Earn Their Trust.

Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults

133 cümleler

The five hard conversations: preventing divorce

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

158 cümleler

老闆突然說「Can we talk for a minute」我一路都在想：是不是做錯了什麼？｜Real Life Office English

Business EnglishWorking Adults

97 cümleler

How to Build and Scale Your Business to $25M

Business EnglishWorking Adults

Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları

Bu konuşma dersi “How The Top 1% Handle Hard Conversations” videosuna dayanıyor. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 269 cümle ve 3361 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 15:18 sürüyor. Konuşmacı hızlı konuşuyor, dakikada yaklaşık 220 kelime; bu yüzden birbirine bağlanan ve zayıflayan sesler duyacaksınız. Kelimelerin %87’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında, bu yüzden kelime dağarcığını takip etmek kolay.

Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler

Videodan öğrenmeye değer 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:

Kelime	Telaffuz	Anlam
skill isim	/skɪl/	beceri, maharet
hire fiil	/ˈhaɪɹ/	kiralamak
feedback isim	/ˈfiːdˌbæk/	geri bildirim
promotion isim	/pɹəˈmoʊʃn̩/	terfi
courage isim	/ˈkʌ.ɹɪd͡ʒ/	cesaret, yüreklilik
realistic sıfat	/ˌɹɪəˈlɪs.tɪk/	gerçekçi
guilt isim	/ɡɪlt/	suç, suçluluk
hungry sıfat	/ˈhʌŋ.ɡɹi/	aç
aggressive sıfat	/əˈɡɹɛs.ɪv/	saldırgan, agresif
framework isim	/ˈfɹeɪm.wɜːk/	çatkı, çatık
toxic sıfat	/ˈtɒk.sɪk/	toksik
uncomfortable sıfat	/ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/	rahatsız
mathematics isim	/mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/	matematik
kindness isim	/ˈkaɪnd.nəs/	incelik, kibarlık
breakthrough isim	/ˈbɹeɪk.θɹuː/	atılım

Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller

Kelime	Anlam
blow up fiil	havaya uçurmak, havaya uçmak
find out fiil	anlamak, ortaya çıkarmak
stand up fiil	satmak

Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler

Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:

I said, let's just sleep it off.
I'm sure you're in a high pressure situation.
I know you haven't slept very much.
Let's just tone this down and revisit this tomorrow.
That's the second thing nobody tells you.

Bu videodaki dil bilgisi

Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:

Yapı	Videoda
Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — önceden başlayıp hâlâ süren bir eylem	you've been putting · You've been carrying · you've been protecting
Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem	I've hired · I've had · haven't slept
Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli	are not allowed · being done · being dropped
İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi	person who thinks · people who helped · people who are

Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar

Konuşmacı you're, wasn't, didn't gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 84 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.

“th” sesleri: mathematics /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/, breakthrough /ˈbɹeɪk.θɹuː/
“sh” ve “zh” sesleri: promotion /pɹəˈmoʊʃn̩/, ambush /ˈæm.bʊʃ/, initiative /ɪˈnɪʃ.ə.tɪv/, patience /ˈpeɪ̯.ʃəns/, reflection /ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/
Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, mathematics /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/, initiative /ɪˈnɪʃ.ə.tɪv/, developer /dɪˈvɛləpɚ/

Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:

/w/ — dudaklar yuvarlak, /v/ değil: framework /ˈfɹeɪm.wɜːk/, whereas /(h)wɛɹˈæz/, equally /ˈiːkwəli/, quietly /ˈkwaɪ.ɪt.li/, swap /ˈswɑp/
Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: skill /skɪl/, promotion /pɹəˈmoʊʃn̩/, framework /ˈfɹeɪm.wɜːk/, breakthrough /ˈbɹeɪk.θɹuː/, trick /ˈtɹɪk/
/æ/ — “e”den daha açık: feedback /ˈfiːdˌbæk/, mathematics /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/, ambush /ˈæm.bʊʃ/, anger /ˈæŋɡə/, whereas /(h)wɛɹˈæz/

Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır

Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; skill, hire, feedback gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.

Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?

Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.

Shadowing tekniği: adım adım eksiksiz rehberi okuyun →

Shadowing Practice: How The Top 1% Handle Hard Conversations - Learn English Speaking with Video

Bir pratik modu seçin

Uygulamayı İndir

7 Ways To Become Unrecognizable in 90 Days

Why Being FAST Makes You More Successful (Copy Me)

Take 3 Minutes For Yourself (Life-Changing Advice)

How To Reset Your Nervous System For Success

$100M Worth of Sales Knowledge in 19 Minutes

Why 99% of People Don’t Dare To Dress Well

How To Build REAL Wealth by Thinking Like The Top 1%

How To Create Exceptional Success in Life

OUTWORK Everyone By Being Bored.

Give Me 14 Min and I'll Delete Your Fear of Judgement

If you're ambitious but lazy, please watch this...

Business is Hard Until You Design it Like This

Top 1% Secrets To Make ANYONE Respect You Instantly

Everything I Learned From Being Around The Top 0.01%

6 Steps To Reclaim Your Life, Start Today

How To Be The CEO of Your Own Life (6 Unexpected Tips)

How To Level Up in Your Career as a "Jack of All Trades"

Change Your Life With This ONE Habit

How To Speak Like The 1% Elite

5 Money Rules To Create A Rich Mindset

How CEO’s Handle Difficult Conversations (Ways I Wish Someone Had Told Me)

Business Meeting Dialogues in English — Listening Practice (B2 – C1)

The Hard Truth About Leading Change

The Guide To Talk To Anyone (Regardless of Their Seniority)

I made 500,000 cold calls and learned this

How To Speak Like A Top 1% CEO

How to Admit To Your Boss You're Burned Out

Directness with Respect: How to Make the Hard Conversations Easy

You Hired Them for a Reason. So, Earn Their Trust.

The five hard conversations: preventing divorce

老闆突然說「Can we talk for a minute」我一路都在想：是不是做錯了什麼？｜Real Life Office English

How to Build and Scale Your Business to $25M

Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları

Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler

Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller

Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler

Bu videodaki dil bilgisi

Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar

Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır

Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?