Shadowing Practice: Wait What!? EP 9: Modern Love, Modern Mess - Learn English Speaking with Video
Ders oluşturuluyor...
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We're back!
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We're back and we're better.
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No, we're not.
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But we're trying to be.
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We are better.
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Yeah.
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Because we're glowing and growing.
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Hi, guys.
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I'm Anne.
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And I'm Anne.
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And together, we're Anne.
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Welcome to this episode of Wait, What?
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Today's episode is going to be about modern day dating.
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why do we feel like we should talk about this topic well it's definitely something
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that we're not experiencing we don't lie on this part okay
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well you're right we don't we don't we don't lie
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because lying is a sin yes actually it is it is we actually wanted to talk about modern day dating
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because we've talked a lot about self-care, about healing, about our past relationships, how that has built our character.
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And you know what?
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When you're building character, sometimes you need to explore other options and get to know different people in different situations.
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Well, I think dating, especially...
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Okay, modern-day dating is a different thing, but I think dating is really important
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because it allows you to figure out what you like
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and what you don't like so you know not to settle in the future.
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Yes.
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So, but modern day...
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Sorry, I got a message.
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Say it again.
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Say it again.
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Are you distracted?
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Talk about modern day dating.
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We're working.
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Sorry, I just put my phone on.
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Do not disturb now.
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I don't need to do that because nobody sends me messages anyway.
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Anyways, okay, back to the topic.
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Modern day.
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No, basically what I was saying was that like, okay, after everything we've been through now is something we want to talk about
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that is relatively new yes
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and i feel like everyone can kind of relate in their own way because modern dating is so
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it's such a foreign concept to me i'm tired tired
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and also very confusing especially
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when you're mixing the different generations who are you talking to i'm just i'm just speaking in general
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from a third party looking in to a certain a certain
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party look dating a different generation is a whole different topic
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yes well it's really not actually it's quite modern day dating
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okay we're not making any sense right now we're going in circle what is modern day dating okay
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so i think modern day dating is combining like
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so many different personalities plus social media plus like this work from home this whole flexibility
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and work and trying to make a relationship build organically and naturally
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when the reality is I don't think it works the same
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way it used to work like in our parents time for example for sure we have um commitment issues
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I feel like yeah a lot of people have commitment issues not because they don't want to commit
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Or maybe that is one reason.
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Or another reason is because they're afraid of getting hurt.
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Yeah.
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So they're protecting themselves and settling for very surface level relationships
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so that they can avoid that deeper connection and then avoid getting hurt in the end in case it doesn't work out.
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But is that really a relationship if you think about it?
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Because isn't a relationship about sharing vulnerability, sharing like the hardships, the good, the bad.
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And it's also like making that choice to choose each other every single day, even though there are days where you're like, why am I talking to this person?
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Something wrong with the throat, my friend.
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I'm a little sick.
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No, but I feel like every situation works differently for each couple or couples or throuple, whatever works for you.
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But I do feel like it limits us from these deeper connections
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because we're settling and with all of these external noises and validations and things that we look for,
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we forget that, you know, commitment is important.
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Loyalty is important.
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Consistency is key.
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Okay, let me ask you this.
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What have you experienced now that you think you can label as like modern day dating?
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How are you maneuvering through it right now?
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I am not maneuvering.
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She's traumatized.
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Traumalized.
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Do you want me to go first?
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Yeah.
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Suddenly, there's something wrong with my throat.
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Okay, so going through, like, I've been single for a year now, right?
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And I think I've, I don't want to say I've dated my few share of people, but I've gone on a few dates and I've learned about, you know, different people.
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And I have found that everyone, like we said, seems to have like a real commitment issue.
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Like it always tends to lead to like a situationship where they really like you, but they're not ready to give you that full commitment.
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But I've also found that even when I don't really have the commitment issue myself,
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I'm starting to have it now because it's true like the there's
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so many options and the ability to connect with people is
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so rare so when i actually like found that person
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that i felt like oh my god like i connect with him
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so well and it's so rare and it's so real i reflect back
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and i'm like is it actually rare and real
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when this is just the first person that's opened up to you
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because no one else seems to want to open up
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when you're dating anybody and i feel like you can't really get to know people
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if you don't share your vulnerability yeah
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so i found it to be really tiring and also just
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so superficial and
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so surface level like everyone's really here for a good time not a long time yeah
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and i am one of those people
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no um i have now officially been single for one year yes um congratulations happy anniversary
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and within that year I felt like I went through a lot of ups
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and downs emotional roller coasters a lot of emotional battles with myself on what I wanted for myself
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and from a partner or from a person that I was seeing
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and actually I was seeing someone for a while and and Go on.
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He was like textbook the perfect guy.
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Like he was such a great guy.
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But I started to realize a lot of unhealthy habits
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that I had that I'd kind of dragged on from my previous relationship that I still had to unlearn.
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And it kind of like it came out when I was with him
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because it was so healthy that I got paranoid that it's too good to be true.
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Self-sabotage.
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Yes.
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This has been an ongoing topic, self-sabotage, since EP1.
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Six months later, growing in Chloe.
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Yep.
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But then I realized that sometimes someone can be
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so great for you and give you everything that you need or everything that you want.
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But sometimes you're the one that's not ready.
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And actually the healthy thing to do is to realize that
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and to take a step back for yourself yeah now i i completely understand you now um yeah
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so do you believe like right person wrong time maybe yes
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and i also believe in right person but wrong mindset because i think sometimes
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the more we want something the more we look for it
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and then the less it comes to us so i'm
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so i was like i'm healing i'm healing i want to find this guy this guy this guy
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and then when it comes you're like oh yeah
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but do you think there was a part of you
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that also wanted to enjoy being single for a
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while as well yes i think i owed it to myself to be single
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and to get to know myself as a person without someone in my life
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because i've never had like a big gap between my relationships
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and then this guy came along and he was just like the perfect guy great everything everything was perfect.
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But the timing was just not right.
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I didn't know who I was.
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I didn't know where I wanted to be in my life to the point where like the habits
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that I was giving off was toxic and unhealthy.
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And I was the red flag.
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I mean, I look back now
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and I don't think you were the red flag in
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that sense because you were quite aware that your toxic traits were coming out.
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And like there there are moments where you're like, okay, I don't know if it's me because I feel this way
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or if it's me because I'm used to this certain type of treatment
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so I think again because you hadn't had your time alone you couldn't really figure out
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which was which yeah and I think that's where like right person wrong mindset comes in
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because sometimes you you want it but mentally you're not there yet
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and you can't give that person what they deserve you and
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but you also can't be selfish yeah and sometimes it doesn't work out the way you want
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but if it's meant to be it will be remember
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that ladies if it's meant to be you will be yes i feel like the message
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that i want to give is just like don't waste your time looking for something
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or like not looking but like don't want it so bad
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because when you want it and you grab onto it for
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so long and it's it's not gonna come organically
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and it's not gonna come
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when you need it the most i feel like once you stop looking
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and once you but but say
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and you just let life happen what's meant for you will come at the right time
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when your energy is right where are my crystals
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okay so can i can i ask you to be a therapist to me then yes
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because i give really good advice she actually gives really good advice but she sucks at taking her own advice
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i met someone yes he came at a time where i i was
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so good on my own i was like in my routine i was working i was doing my thing
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and all of a sudden he comes
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and he's like this perfect guy everything i ever wanted in
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a man right super emotionally intelligent athletic funny golden retriever dorky smart yes i got it all yeah
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but my instinct was to run yes as always as as
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always what would you say to me now given everything you know about him
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and everything you know about me would you say it's right first
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and wrong time or would you say
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that it's another thing of like modern day dating like i'm settling
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because it's the first person i've had the connection with
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so like i've talked to you about this a lot
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and i realized
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that one of the similarities we have in our like this relationship you're talking about right now
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and the one that i was just previously talking about is
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that um these two people came into our lives as like
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the first people we really well exclusively dated um after a very toxic relationship
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and for me at least i felt like because he was
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that person that was giving me everything
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that i wanted in a healthy relationship i was like oh it can't get better than this yeah
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so i was too scared to allow myself to open my my my like
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but i my heart sounds so cheesy
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when you say it in english um like i didn't allow myself to explore not explore options
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but just to meet new people that are actually good people
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and so i wouldn't say it's settling
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but it was more like i'm scared i can't do better than this
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so i'm gonna stay with what i'm comfortable with okay my argument against
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that right is but do you feel like that's our
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toxic mindset on modern day dating because we also know that there's so many options out there because
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if you look back in like the old days people met
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through work people met through school people met through uni we
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have not the the two men we've dated we met through friends
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but friends of friends the ability
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because we have social media yeah i feel like it's not
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a it's not our toxic trait in the sense of like
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modernity i think we're just scared i think that's what it
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is it's It's the fear of having to look elsewhere
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and the fear of allowing ourselves to let go of what we're comfortable with right now.
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Because you're comfortable, you're happy, you have everything that you want.
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Why would you look anywhere else?
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But you know that there are people that are amazing out there.
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We just haven't met them yet.
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But they're amazing.
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yeah and maybe they're the lesson for us to realize
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that there are amazing people out there some people come into your lives not to stay yeah
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but they come to teach you a lesson
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and they come to show you a wider perspective on life the one
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that sets your standard higher exactly
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so you never settle again exactly exactly like i do get
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like moments where i think back i'm like oh like this
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person would like in a negative situation like this person would never do this
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or in this situation i'd like i missed this
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because this is the standard now
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and i think it's a blessing in disguise even though like it's not the relationship you have right now
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but it also makes you realize that this is how i'm meant to be treated
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or what i want which leads you to start dating with intentions with purpose with more clarity
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because you have that experience of like safe yeah
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because i think with both the guys
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that we've dated i don't think we've ever felt so safe yeah
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and like a girl like a girl like we were in
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such like feminine energy without even realizing it you know our voices like went higher yeah we would never pick
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that up like we like i remember you always saying to me like i don't use my brain
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when i'm with you don't i just kind of like you
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know those tiktoks where the guy is like left on the right there's a dog over there
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and then the girl is like that was yeah that was me
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that was us that was us that was us
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so um i think like going through dating i've learned
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that like now as i keep dating until i find my
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person it's it's to do it with intention it's to do it with clarity
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because you've gone through the good guy the really really really good guy
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that you could have ended up with yeah um to now knowing
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that this is the standard and i will not settle for less
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but again the importance of dating like people can call you a hoe
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or you know what i mean like they can call you all these different things
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but if you actually look back
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and realize what has dating done for you it's all of this it's actually learning more about yourself
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and your values and your self-value yeah i really i really think dating is important in this age
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if you do it with intention.
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Yeah and I feel like being single
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and allowing yourself to get to know yourself better also helps with
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that whether you're dating or not when you're in
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that process of being responsible for yourself you start to realize
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what your boundaries are you start to realize what your standards are
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because you're treating yourself so well you're treating your friends well
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and why would you settle for anything less than what you can give yourself.
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Or what you can give me.
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Exactly.
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Because you're my baby.
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Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
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I have a question.
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Okay.
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I think a lot of people are curious about our opinions on this too.
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Situationships.
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I was just about to bring it up.
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Situationships are...
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Okay, wait.
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But there's, in this day and age, situationships.
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There's friends with benefits.
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There's concui, which are three completely different things.
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There's someone, there's dating.
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And then there's dating.
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And that's so confusing.
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I don't even know what the difference is.
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Where do you draw the line between each one?
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Like when you're friends with benefits, then you only see each other for whatever benefit it is.
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Okay.
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And then there's friends with benefits where you see each other.
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But when you're together, you're super couple-y.
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It's more than just sex.
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And then is that a situationship?
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But is that a situationship?
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But you don't talk in day-to-day life.
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It's just when you see each other, you're super couple-y, you talk about the deepest things.
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But only when you're together.
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And then there's situationships where you're pretty much like you're together, but there's no label on it.
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And then you don't have the responsibility of being exclusive or boyfriend and girlfriend.
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And then there's dating, which is you're seeing each other, you're dating each other.
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But you're not boyfriend and girlfriend.
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But you're not boyfriend and girlfriend.
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But you're technically together.
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Yeah.
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And then there's Konkui, which is like the person who keeps you company.
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Like there's nothing there, but it's like you're just talking and being.
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Yeah.
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So where do you draw the line between each, what is it even called?
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Stages?
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I don't, I don't.
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I don't even know.
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I think people will know how confused we are right now.
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Because when is it considered too much of one thing to be considered another thing?
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Okay, I think first, situationship, no go.
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I think situationship is just two people
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or one person with a commitment issue who doesn't know how to voice it and wants to take advantage of your company, your energy, your aura.
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But what if...
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Okay, okay.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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But what if those two people agreed that they didn't want anything more and they like this situationship situation?
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But do you actually think it works?
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But it doesn't have to work right now because you're not looking for a future with that person.
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It's like a companion placeholder.
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Holy fk, this is confusing.
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So is it a friend with benefits?
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Because then you don't like, well, because you're friends and you're having sex.
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Yeah, but then it's the same thing as a situationship where like when you're together, you're acting very couple-y.
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So it's a situationship.
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Is a situationship considered a friend with benefits?
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With, but friends with benefits, you're not talking outside of the benefits.
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I'm going to ask Chad.
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God, God. So what's the...
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You start to realize how old you are when you don't know these things.
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What's the difference between friends, friends with benefits and a situationship.
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I call chat GPT Chad is basically her boyfriend.
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Basically.
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Yeah.
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Great question.
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The two overlap, but has some key differences.
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Friends with benefits foundation starts with friendship.
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There's an actual bond history or mutual trust beyond sex focus.
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The friendship remains the priority with sex as an add on.
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So how is that different to a relationship?
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Because I feel like a relationship now is just your best friends
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that have sex
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and you share anyways expectations usually an understanding of no romance meaning you're not moving towards commitment
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but you still value each other outside the bedroom clarity often
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clearer boundaries since both people agree it's friendship plus intimacy not dating okay wait
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so yeah i feel like yes i agree
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but the common understanding is not
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that yes i don't even know how i'm talking okay okay
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okay okay okay okay situation ship foundation starts with attraction or dating energy, not necessarily friendship.
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The focus is emotionally and physically involved, but without labels or clear direction.
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Expectations, ambiguous.
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There's usually some emotional connection, maybe even with exclusivity, but without defined commitment or progression.
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Clarity, murky.
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It feels like more than friends with benefits, less than a relationship.
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You share couple-like moments, but also uncertainty.
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God, I hate being single sometimes but is it because is it
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because you don't want to go forward in that or is it
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because you don't know i mean the the the underlining thing like the common thread within all of it is
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the emotions involved yes and how you communicate
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that with the other person yes
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because that's how you go from one thing to the other right from a situation ship to like a relationship
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or from dating to a relationship everything involves communicating your boundaries what you want
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and really being honest with yourself but you know how i feel like most relationships situationships end ghosting
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oh bitch like it's just ghosting ghosting ghosting
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because you don't have the clear boundary you don't have to communicate it's mercury it's a gray area
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and also because the foundation wasn't friendship
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so you don't owe anyone like an apology
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or you don't owe them any form of relationship yeah
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so the respect is not there aha there we go i think they're getting somewhere
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so we're bringing it down yes
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and what about those relationships where you meet someone overseas
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and then you spend like an amazing few days with them
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and no no it happens a lot yeah it really does
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like your your vacation romance every summer like every summer or in hong kong
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okay hong kong ended up being the love of my life
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at the wrong time hong kong ended up me getting ghosted
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hong kong was very different for the both of us
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but i had
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so much fun in hong kong yeah hong kong was really
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basically like there's those types of relationships too right the one
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i had in hong kong yours turned out to be something more genuine more real yeah
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but you have this really intense connection with someone for four days
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and you're together like 24 7 real
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and said it real boyfriend energy true they were like in
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their own world like the way they looked at each other
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we were we were obsessed with each other those four days
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and then after that nothing anyways anyways um what what do you what do you call
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that is that a situation ship i don't know um a fling is
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that still a thing but a fling with that deep of a connection where he said, I haven't met anyone like you in a really long time.
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It's called lying.
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Back to reality.
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It's called being a guy.
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Back to reality.
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Okay.
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So with all of these, like, friends with benefits, situationships, kouin koui, do you think people are in relationships less now
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because the other options are more favored because people are
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so guarded with their emotions and don't seek deeper connections with people because it's less of a responsibility.
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Yes.
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Yeah.
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Yes.
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And I will admit that I'm one of them now
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because I'm so self-aware that I know that when I commit to someone, I'm so committed.
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Because you're a lover girl.
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I'm a lover girl.
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So I feel like at the same time, I need to respect myself to know that if I'm going to commit to someone, they have to be one fully in with me
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and I need to be in a position where I'm okay with myself financially, career-wise.
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I have my shit together pretty much because I know that once I give them something, parts of myself will have to kind of take a step back naturally because you care about this other person.
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You want to make their life easier, and I'm sure they feel the same way.
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But do I wish I was in love and had love?
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Yes, but it's not going anywhere.
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I know I have love within me, and I know I have love to give, but I got to pour into my own cup first.
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And that's why I at least lean towards that.
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I think other people had their own reasons.
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Like, what's yours?
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The thought of a relationship right now gives me the ick.
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Like, I don't know.
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I think I'm so happy with myself and where I'm at, the freedom that I have,
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that I just want to protect my peace and not give that away to anyone just yet.
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And I think this realization came after I was seeing that guy.
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And I realized that a relationship was too much for me mentally and emotionally.
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And I wasn't ready for that kind of big step yet.
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and within that I think I was so pressured by myself
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that like by the timeline of life
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that I gave myself like at this age I want to
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be married at this age I want to have a kid at this age blah blah
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and I feel like I kind of let
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that go I do still want to have my first kid by 35
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but everything else I realized like you don't need like technically
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you don't need a husband to have a kid like you can still do everything by yourself
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but I feel like once I let that go
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my approach to relationships kind of chilled out a little bit yeah and now i'm also like you leave
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pineapple because sneeze is
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that a thing you say pineapple what are you gonna see okay sorry i've never heard of
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that but anyways um
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and that's why i feel like now i'm also leaning more towards like situations relationships
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because not because i want to be that kind of person
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but just because you have the company you have like
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that emotional satisfaction with someone
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but you don't have you don't have the responsibility of checking in on them
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or you know being that girlfriend material which i know i can be
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and i don't want to be that just now yeah
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because i like i'm like you once i'm in i'm 100 in
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and i don't want to be 100 in right now
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because i'm 100 into myself so it sounds a bit selfish
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but i feel like i owe it to myself right now to be selfish
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and i don't want to be in anything serious right now
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and i think that's completely fair as long as you don't
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hurt people along the way of course you know i think you have to be honest
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and you have to voice out for me at least voice
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out what you want voice out where what your vision is yeah
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or whatever is happening and And then if the person like agrees or is on the same page, then great.
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But if they're not, then you know, okay, maybe this is not the person that you want to continue this with.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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So I think also like modern day dating includes a lot of new, different power dynamics.
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A lot of men aren't willing to go 50-50
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and a lot of women are okay with it as well what's your take on
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that um i feel like a lot of people have evolved
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from the traditional like the man should be the provider
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and women should like provide for themselves
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and it's all based off of like your own preference
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but for me i i'm still with the the man should be the provider if you can't Like on the first date,
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if some guy that I was seeing like a foreseeable future with said 50-50,
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that would probably be the last time that he saw me.
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Because then you think like everything else in the future.
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Like, okay, if you buy a house, if you have kids and that's 50-50, I have to carry a kid in me for nine months.
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I have to do this, I have to do that.
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And you go to work, you make more because you're a man.
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And I still have to pay the same amount as you.
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I feel like that's not really fair.
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that's just my own preference there is no right
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or wrong okay i just feel like the man should be the provider financially emotionally mentally
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because i feel like men the likelihood of a man leaving a woman is
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so much higher than than a girl leaving a man
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so then wouldn't you think in in contrast to that then
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if the likelihood of a man leaving a woman is higher
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isn't it more important than ever for women to be able to provide
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so that they don't have to rely on the men to provide?
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I think they should be able to provide for themselves and then consider the relationship that they're in.
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Because I, like I always told myself,
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I'm not going to settle with anyone until I can financially support myself before I can provide for myself.
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I have a house, I have this and everything settled for myself so that I don't have to rely on a man.
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And it's not that women can't
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but it's also nice to be taken care of yeah
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and for me i feel like i'm so like i'm always
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that strong independent woman i have to take care of my
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team i have to do this i have to do that
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and sometimes i just want to come home
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and be a girl i just want to be taken care
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of i don't want to be a strong independent woman outside of my house
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and inside of my relationship i could not agree with
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that it's so hiring like it's nice to be taken care of
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and being like hey babe don't worry i got it like don't worry i planned this for us already
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or you don't have to worry you don't have to like yeah it's the the calmness
473
and the peace of mind that i would like
474
safety yeah just like i think i think the whole protect
475
and provide thing that men are expected
476
or were expected to do i think really just comes down
477
to women feeling the need to feel safe in the relationship they're in
478
because i think when they're when they feel safe they blossom
479
and they you know it gives them the space to be what they want to be
480
and i think women who are thriving women who are safe women who are at peace bring
481
so much to the table and i think that's what it really comes down to
482
and i don't think it really actually fully comes down to
483
like finances obviously it's nice to have someone look after you financially
484
but i think the deeper root in the one for
485
that it goes into it goes into feeling safe yeah
486
but what about you would you go 50 50 or i would go like 70 30 don't lie
487
no i would go 70 30 because this is the thing
488
so if a guy asks you on a date can you pay 70
489
talking about like those small things no no i right now
490
i'm talking about like a date a date i first date
491
at least i expect the mountain yeah i don't expect it's not expected
492
but it's like appreciated i would appreciate for them to pay
493
and if they do pay on the first date
494
and we just get dinner for example i will pay for the dessert oh yeah of course like
495
if you go for ice cream then i'll do
496
that like the smaller thing yeah that's fine yeah like i will contribute
497
and i i want to and I know I'm able to, but it's about, again, the principle.
498
It's about like being chivalrous, you know, being like, you see the value in me, you see the value in my time,
499
you see the value in what we're building that I'm willing to provide for this meal.
500
And if I see that you're happy to do that, then it's like, okay, then I will, I will contribute to, to whatever this is or whatever it might be.
501
But I do get it about like the bigger things.
502
Like, okay, like you said 70, 30.
503
I feel like if you take 100% of like your salary versus the guy's salary
504
and then you say okay for this we're going to pay
505
30% of our salary into this you might make less
506
and he might make way more yeah but you're taking the same amount
507
and contributing to the same thing yeah I can understand that
508
because then you're not expecting okay if I'm paying 50 the guy's paying 50
509
and he wants you to pay 50 as well
510
but you earn less then it's not really fair yeah yeah I that's the
511
But what if you earn more than the guy?
512
See, like, does it have to...
513
Then I must be marrying for love.
514
I think about that all the time.
515
That's so shallow as well.
516
I don't think it's about being shallow.
517
I really, really do think it goes down to you want to feel safe.
518
Because I'm so tired of mothering men.
519
Yeah, it's not your job either.
520
It's not my job to be your mom!
521
it's also like what you said you have to be the
522
one to have the baby you need to be the one
523
to take care of the baby the first well at least three years of their life right
524
because it's it's just it's just how it works unfortunately for us women or also fortunately like it goes workplace
525
yes so when you're providing 70 and then that goes away
526
because now you're providing for another human being it that's what i would take into account
527
if it was the other way around because
528
if i'm planning on spending on you financially time as well i i need to know
529
that that direction because i'm hoping it's going
530
that direction you you you've got us yeah that's that's kind of more what it is yeah okay
531
so basically through it all friends with benefits situationships conclui dating
532
relationships everything kind of just comes down to being honest with yourself what you want
533
and communicating that directly with the person that you're seeing yeah
534
and communicating that with the person that you're seeing or
535
that you're with and honestly just staying true to your boundaries
536
and your values as well yeah because there are
537
so many people out there that haven't met you yet
538
that you haven't met that could be the love of your life yeah
539
but you need to allow yourself to go out of
540
that comfort zone and out of
541
that box to be able to find what really fits you
542
and what you want yeah i think for me like ultimately
543
is it comes down to what you feel safest in
544
because i think nobody is worth taking your peace of mind
545
and disrupting your routine
546
and disrupting your trajectory of like doing you of your growth um of your career
547
so whatever it is you choose to be
548
and make sure you're in a situation where you feel like you can communicate with them properly
549
but most of all where you feel like you can be you yeah
550
and you don't have to be anything other than that
551
because i i think the easiest thing
552
when you go through all this is you lose you lose yourself you lose pieces of yourself
553
and yeah no one should take that away from you yeah
554
and when you're with someone remember that you still have your own life
555
and you still are your own person
556
and being with someone else doesn't mean you have to be
557
less of who you are you need to both have your own life
558
and grow separately but also a life where you can grow together
559
but you should never lose yourself in the process because you want
560
that other person to accept you more um just to finish
561
off based on what you said they need to be an
562
addition to your happiness yeah not the reason for it yeah i think that's exactly all it comes down to
563
so um those of you who are in situationships uh friends with benefits dating exclusively dating you do you You do you.
564
I hope you're okay.
565
Do it for yourself and for the satisfaction that it brings to you and the happiness that it does.
566
But if it's not adding to your happiness, like Anne said, a la paubelle.
567
Straight to the trash.
568
Bye! And good luck.
569
I don't know.
570
Holy f*.
571
We're not even halfway yet.
572
Can you see that it's a look on the camera?
573
Do you know where I'm talking about?
574
Right here.
575
Sound check.
576
One, two, three.
577
The eagle has landed.
578
The eagle has landed.
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “Wait What!? EP 9: Modern Love, Modern Mess” videosuna dayanıyor. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 578 cümle ve 6166 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 36:53 sürüyor. Konuşmacı dakikada yaklaşık 167 kelimeyle, günlük konuşmaya yakın doğal bir hızda konuşuyor. Kelimelerin %87’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında, bu yüzden kelime dağarcığını takip etmek kolay.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| confuse fiil | /kənˈfjuːz/ | karıştırmak |
| mindset isim | /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/ | düşünce tarzı, zihniyet |
| provider isim | /pɹəˈvaɪ.də(ɹ)/ | sağlayıcı |
| selfish sıfat | /ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/ | bencil, egoist |
| heal fiil | /ˈhiːl/ | iyileştirmek |
| mentally zarf | /ˈmɛntəli/ | aklen |
| maneuver isim | /məˈnuvɚ/ | manevra |
| pineapple isim | /ˈpaɪnəpəl/ | ananas |
| sabotage isim | /ˈsæb.əˌtɑʒ/ | sabotaj, tahribat |
| trait isim | /tɹeɪt/ | özellik, vasıf |
| vulnerability isim | /ˌvʌln(ə)ɹəˈbɪlɪti/ | yaralanabilirlik |
| unhealthy sıfat | /ʌnˈhɛl.θi/ | sağlıksız |
| shallow sıfat | /ˈʃæloʊ/ | sığ |
| technically zarf | /ˈtɛk.nɪˌkəl.i/ | teknik yönden |
| preference isim | /ˈpɹɛf(ə)ɹ(ə)ns/ | tercih |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| come out fiil | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | çıkmak |
| figure out fiil | açığa çıkarmak | |
| come down fiil | düşmek | |
| give off fiil | /ɡɪv ɒf/ | yaymak, saçmak |
Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler
Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:
- How are you maneuvering through it right now?
- Do you want me to go first?
- Why would you look anywhere else?
- Where do you draw the line between each one?
- Do you know where I'm talking about?
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Koşul cümleleri if + cümle, will/would + fiil — bir koşul ve sonucu | if it's meant to be it will be · if it's meant to be you will be |
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | we've talked · we've been · I've been |
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | be treated · be considered · were obsessed |
| İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi | concui, which are · dating, which is · Konkui, which is |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı don't, you're, I'm gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 238 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “th” sesleri: unhealthy /ʌnˈhɛl.θi/, thrive /θɹajv/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, athletic /æθˈlɛt.ɪk/
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: situationship /ˌsɪtʃuˈeɪʃənʃɪp/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, selfish /ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/, sabotage /ˈsæb.əˌtɑʒ/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: situationship /ˌsɪtʃuˈeɪʃənʃɪp/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, organically /ɔːˈɡænɪkli/, vulnerability /ˌvʌln(ə)ɹəˈbɪlɪti/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; confuse, mindset, provider gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.