Shadowing Practice: Wait What!? EP 9: Modern Love, Modern Mess - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Because we're glowing and growing.

Hi, guys.

I'm Anne.

And I'm Anne.

And together, we're Anne.

Welcome to this episode of Wait, What?

Today's episode is going to be about modern day dating.

why do we feel like we should talk about this topic well it's definitely something

that we're not experiencing we don't lie on this part okay

well you're right we don't we don't we don't lie

because lying is a sin yes actually it is it is we actually wanted to talk about modern day dating

because we've talked a lot about self-care, about healing, about our past relationships, how that has built our character.

And you know what?

When you're building character, sometimes you need to explore other options and get to know different people in different situations.

Well, I think dating, especially...

Okay, modern-day dating is a different thing, but I think dating is really important

because it allows you to figure out what you like

and what you don't like so you know not to settle in the future.

Yes.

So, but modern day...

Sorry, I got a message.

Say it again.

Are you distracted?

Talk about modern day dating.

We're working.

Sorry, I just put my phone on.

Do not disturb now.

I don't need to do that because nobody sends me messages anyway.

Anyways, okay, back to the topic.

Modern day.

No, basically what I was saying was that like, okay, after everything we've been through now is something we want to talk about

that is relatively new yes

and i feel like everyone can kind of relate in their own way because modern dating is so

it's such a foreign concept to me i'm tired tired

and also very confusing especially

when you're mixing the different generations who are you talking to i'm just i'm just speaking in general

from a third party looking in to a certain a certain

party look dating a different generation is a whole different topic

yes well it's really not actually it's quite modern day dating

okay we're not making any sense right now we're going in circle what is modern day dating okay

so i think modern day dating is combining like

so many different personalities plus social media plus like this work from home this whole flexibility

and work and trying to make a relationship build organically and naturally

when the reality is I don't think it works the same

way it used to work like in our parents time for example for sure we have um commitment issues

I feel like yeah a lot of people have commitment issues not because they don't want to commit

Or maybe that is one reason.

Or another reason is because they're afraid of getting hurt.

Yeah.

So they're protecting themselves and settling for very surface level relationships

so that they can avoid that deeper connection and then avoid getting hurt in the end in case it doesn't work out.

But is that really a relationship if you think about it?

Because isn't a relationship about sharing vulnerability, sharing like the hardships, the good, the bad.

And it's also like making that choice to choose each other every single day, even though there are days where you're like, why am I talking to this person?

Something wrong with the throat, my friend.

I'm a little sick.

No, but I feel like every situation works differently for each couple or couples or throuple, whatever works for you.

But I do feel like it limits us from these deeper connections

because we're settling and with all of these external noises and validations and things that we look for,

we forget that, you know, commitment is important.

Loyalty is important.

Consistency is key.

Okay, let me ask you this.

What have you experienced now that you think you can label as like modern day dating?

How are you maneuvering through it right now?

I am not maneuvering.

She's traumatized.

Traumalized.

Do you want me to go first?

Yeah.

Suddenly, there's something wrong with my throat.

Okay, so going through, like, I've been single for a year now, right?

And I think I've, I don't want to say I've dated my few share of people, but I've gone on a few dates and I've learned about, you know, different people.

And I have found that everyone, like we said, seems to have like a real commitment issue.

Like it always tends to lead to like a situationship where they really like you, but they're not ready to give you that full commitment.

But I've also found that even when I don't really have the commitment issue myself,

I'm starting to have it now because it's true like the there's

so many options and the ability to connect with people is

so rare so when i actually like found that person

that i felt like oh my god like i connect with him

so well and it's so rare and it's so real i reflect back

and i'm like is it actually rare and real

when this is just the first person that's opened up to you

because no one else seems to want to open up

when you're dating anybody and i feel like you can't really get to know people

if you don't share your vulnerability yeah

so i found it to be really tiring and also just

so superficial and

so surface level like everyone's really here for a good time not a long time yeah

and i am one of those people

no um i have now officially been single for one year yes um congratulations happy anniversary

and within that year I felt like I went through a lot of ups

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and downs emotional roller coasters a lot of emotional battles with myself on what I wanted for myself

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and from a partner or from a person that I was seeing

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and actually I was seeing someone for a while and and Go on.

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He was like textbook the perfect guy.

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Like he was such a great guy.

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But I started to realize a lot of unhealthy habits

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that I had that I'd kind of dragged on from my previous relationship that I still had to unlearn.

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And it kind of like it came out when I was with him

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because it was so healthy that I got paranoid that it's too good to be true.

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Self-sabotage.

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Yes.

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This has been an ongoing topic, self-sabotage, since EP1.

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Six months later, growing in Chloe.

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Yep.

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But then I realized that sometimes someone can be

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so great for you and give you everything that you need or everything that you want.

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But sometimes you're the one that's not ready.

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And actually the healthy thing to do is to realize that

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and to take a step back for yourself yeah now i i completely understand you now um yeah

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so do you believe like right person wrong time maybe yes

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and i also believe in right person but wrong mindset because i think sometimes

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the more we want something the more we look for it

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and then the less it comes to us so i'm

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so i was like i'm healing i'm healing i want to find this guy this guy this guy

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and then when it comes you're like oh yeah

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but do you think there was a part of you

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that also wanted to enjoy being single for a

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while as well yes i think i owed it to myself to be single

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and to get to know myself as a person without someone in my life

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because i've never had like a big gap between my relationships

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and then this guy came along and he was just like the perfect guy great everything everything was perfect.

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But the timing was just not right.

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I didn't know who I was.

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I didn't know where I wanted to be in my life to the point where like the habits

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that I was giving off was toxic and unhealthy.

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And I was the red flag.

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I mean, I look back now

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and I don't think you were the red flag in

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that sense because you were quite aware that your toxic traits were coming out.

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And like there there are moments where you're like, okay, I don't know if it's me because I feel this way

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or if it's me because I'm used to this certain type of treatment

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so I think again because you hadn't had your time alone you couldn't really figure out

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which was which yeah and I think that's where like right person wrong mindset comes in

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because sometimes you you want it but mentally you're not there yet

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and you can't give that person what they deserve you and

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but you also can't be selfish yeah and sometimes it doesn't work out the way you want

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but if it's meant to be it will be remember

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that ladies if it's meant to be you will be yes i feel like the message

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that i want to give is just like don't waste your time looking for something

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or like not looking but like don't want it so bad

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because when you want it and you grab onto it for

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so long and it's it's not gonna come organically

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and it's not gonna come

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when you need it the most i feel like once you stop looking

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and once you but but say

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and you just let life happen what's meant for you will come at the right time

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when your energy is right where are my crystals

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okay so can i can i ask you to be a therapist to me then yes

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because i give really good advice she actually gives really good advice but she sucks at taking her own advice

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i met someone yes he came at a time where i i was

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so good on my own i was like in my routine i was working i was doing my thing

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and all of a sudden he comes

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and he's like this perfect guy everything i ever wanted in

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a man right super emotionally intelligent athletic funny golden retriever dorky smart yes i got it all yeah

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but my instinct was to run yes as always as as

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always what would you say to me now given everything you know about him

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and everything you know about me would you say it's right first

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and wrong time or would you say

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that it's another thing of like modern day dating like i'm settling

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because it's the first person i've had the connection with

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so like i've talked to you about this a lot

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and i realized

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that one of the similarities we have in our like this relationship you're talking about right now

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and the one that i was just previously talking about is

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that um these two people came into our lives as like

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the first people we really well exclusively dated um after a very toxic relationship

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and for me at least i felt like because he was

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that person that was giving me everything

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that i wanted in a healthy relationship i was like oh it can't get better than this yeah

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so i was too scared to allow myself to open my my my like

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but i my heart sounds so cheesy

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when you say it in english um like i didn't allow myself to explore not explore options

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but just to meet new people that are actually good people

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and so i wouldn't say it's settling

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but it was more like i'm scared i can't do better than this

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so i'm gonna stay with what i'm comfortable with okay my argument against

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that right is but do you feel like that's our

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toxic mindset on modern day dating because we also know that there's so many options out there because

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if you look back in like the old days people met

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through work people met through school people met through uni we

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have not the the two men we've dated we met through friends

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but friends of friends the ability

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because we have social media yeah i feel like it's not

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a it's not our toxic trait in the sense of like

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modernity i think we're just scared i think that's what it

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is it's It's the fear of having to look elsewhere

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and the fear of allowing ourselves to let go of what we're comfortable with right now.

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Because you're comfortable, you're happy, you have everything that you want.

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Why would you look anywhere else?

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But you know that there are people that are amazing out there.

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We just haven't met them yet.

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But they're amazing.

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yeah and maybe they're the lesson for us to realize

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that there are amazing people out there some people come into your lives not to stay yeah

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but they come to teach you a lesson

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and they come to show you a wider perspective on life the one

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that sets your standard higher exactly

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so you never settle again exactly exactly like i do get

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like moments where i think back i'm like oh like this

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person would like in a negative situation like this person would never do this

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or in this situation i'd like i missed this

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because this is the standard now

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and i think it's a blessing in disguise even though like it's not the relationship you have right now

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but it also makes you realize that this is how i'm meant to be treated

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or what i want which leads you to start dating with intentions with purpose with more clarity

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because you have that experience of like safe yeah

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because i think with both the guys

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that we've dated i don't think we've ever felt so safe yeah

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and like a girl like a girl like we were in

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such like feminine energy without even realizing it you know our voices like went higher yeah we would never pick

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that up like we like i remember you always saying to me like i don't use my brain

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when i'm with you don't i just kind of like you

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know those tiktoks where the guy is like left on the right there's a dog over there

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and then the girl is like that was yeah that was me

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that was us that was us that was us

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so um i think like going through dating i've learned

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that like now as i keep dating until i find my

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person it's it's to do it with intention it's to do it with clarity

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because you've gone through the good guy the really really really good guy

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that you could have ended up with yeah um to now knowing

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that this is the standard and i will not settle for less

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but again the importance of dating like people can call you a hoe

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or you know what i mean like they can call you all these different things

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but if you actually look back

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and realize what has dating done for you it's all of this it's actually learning more about yourself

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and your values and your self-value yeah i really i really think dating is important in this age

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if you do it with intention.

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Yeah and I feel like being single

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and allowing yourself to get to know yourself better also helps with

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that whether you're dating or not when you're in

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that process of being responsible for yourself you start to realize

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what your boundaries are you start to realize what your standards are

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because you're treating yourself so well you're treating your friends well

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and why would you settle for anything less than what you can give yourself.

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Or what you can give me.

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Exactly.

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Because you're my baby.

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Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

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I have a question.

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Okay.

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I think a lot of people are curious about our opinions on this too.

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Situationships.

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I was just about to bring it up.

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Situationships are...

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Okay, wait.

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But there's, in this day and age, situationships.

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There's friends with benefits.

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There's concui, which are three completely different things.

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There's someone, there's dating.

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And then there's dating.

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And that's so confusing.

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I don't even know what the difference is.

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Where do you draw the line between each one?

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Like when you're friends with benefits, then you only see each other for whatever benefit it is.

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Okay.

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And then there's friends with benefits where you see each other.

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But when you're together, you're super couple-y.

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It's more than just sex.

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And then is that a situationship?

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But is that a situationship?

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But you don't talk in day-to-day life.

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It's just when you see each other, you're super couple-y, you talk about the deepest things.

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But only when you're together.

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And then there's situationships where you're pretty much like you're together, but there's no label on it.

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And then you don't have the responsibility of being exclusive or boyfriend and girlfriend.

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And then there's dating, which is you're seeing each other, you're dating each other.

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But you're not boyfriend and girlfriend.

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But you're not boyfriend and girlfriend.

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But you're technically together.

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Yeah.

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And then there's Konkui, which is like the person who keeps you company.

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Like there's nothing there, but it's like you're just talking and being.

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Yeah.

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So where do you draw the line between each, what is it even called?

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Stages?

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I don't, I don't.

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I don't even know.

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I think people will know how confused we are right now.

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Because when is it considered too much of one thing to be considered another thing?

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Okay, I think first, situationship, no go.

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I think situationship is just two people

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or one person with a commitment issue who doesn't know how to voice it and wants to take advantage of your company, your energy, your aura.

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But what if...

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Okay, okay.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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But what if those two people agreed that they didn't want anything more and they like this situationship situation?

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But do you actually think it works?

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But it doesn't have to work right now because you're not looking for a future with that person.

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It's like a companion placeholder.

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Holy fk, this is confusing.

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So is it a friend with benefits?

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Because then you don't like, well, because you're friends and you're having sex.

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Yeah, but then it's the same thing as a situationship where like when you're together, you're acting very couple-y.

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So it's a situationship.

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Is a situationship considered a friend with benefits?

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With, but friends with benefits, you're not talking outside of the benefits.

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I'm going to ask Chad.

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God, God. So what's the...

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You start to realize how old you are when you don't know these things.

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What's the difference between friends, friends with benefits and a situationship.

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I call chat GPT Chad is basically her boyfriend.

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Basically.

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Yeah.

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Great question.

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The two overlap, but has some key differences.

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Friends with benefits foundation starts with friendship.

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There's an actual bond history or mutual trust beyond sex focus.

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The friendship remains the priority with sex as an add on.

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So how is that different to a relationship?

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Because I feel like a relationship now is just your best friends

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that have sex

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and you share anyways expectations usually an understanding of no romance meaning you're not moving towards commitment

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but you still value each other outside the bedroom clarity often

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clearer boundaries since both people agree it's friendship plus intimacy not dating okay wait

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so yeah i feel like yes i agree

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but the common understanding is not

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that yes i don't even know how i'm talking okay okay

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okay okay okay okay situation ship foundation starts with attraction or dating energy, not necessarily friendship.

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The focus is emotionally and physically involved, but without labels or clear direction.

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Expectations, ambiguous.

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There's usually some emotional connection, maybe even with exclusivity, but without defined commitment or progression.

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Clarity, murky.

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It feels like more than friends with benefits, less than a relationship.

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You share couple-like moments, but also uncertainty.

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God, I hate being single sometimes but is it because is it

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because you don't want to go forward in that or is it

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because you don't know i mean the the the underlining thing like the common thread within all of it is

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the emotions involved yes and how you communicate

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that with the other person yes

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because that's how you go from one thing to the other right from a situation ship to like a relationship

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or from dating to a relationship everything involves communicating your boundaries what you want

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and really being honest with yourself but you know how i feel like most relationships situationships end ghosting

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oh bitch like it's just ghosting ghosting ghosting

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because you don't have the clear boundary you don't have to communicate it's mercury it's a gray area

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and also because the foundation wasn't friendship

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so you don't owe anyone like an apology

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or you don't owe them any form of relationship yeah

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so the respect is not there aha there we go i think they're getting somewhere

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so we're bringing it down yes

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and what about those relationships where you meet someone overseas

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and then you spend like an amazing few days with them

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and no no it happens a lot yeah it really does

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like your your vacation romance every summer like every summer or in hong kong

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okay hong kong ended up being the love of my life

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at the wrong time hong kong ended up me getting ghosted

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hong kong was very different for the both of us

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but i had

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so much fun in hong kong yeah hong kong was really

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basically like there's those types of relationships too right the one

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i had in hong kong yours turned out to be something more genuine more real yeah

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but you have this really intense connection with someone for four days

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and you're together like 24 7 real

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and said it real boyfriend energy true they were like in

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their own world like the way they looked at each other

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we were we were obsessed with each other those four days

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and then after that nothing anyways anyways um what what do you what do you call

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that is that a situation ship i don't know um a fling is

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that still a thing but a fling with that deep of a connection where he said, I haven't met anyone like you in a really long time.

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It's called lying.

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Back to reality.

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It's called being a guy.

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Back to reality.

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Okay.

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So with all of these, like, friends with benefits, situationships, kouin koui, do you think people are in relationships less now

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because the other options are more favored because people are

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so guarded with their emotions and don't seek deeper connections with people because it's less of a responsibility.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Yes.

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And I will admit that I'm one of them now

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because I'm so self-aware that I know that when I commit to someone, I'm so committed.

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Because you're a lover girl.

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I'm a lover girl.

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So I feel like at the same time, I need to respect myself to know that if I'm going to commit to someone, they have to be one fully in with me

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and I need to be in a position where I'm okay with myself financially, career-wise.

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I have my shit together pretty much because I know that once I give them something, parts of myself will have to kind of take a step back naturally because you care about this other person.

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You want to make their life easier, and I'm sure they feel the same way.

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But do I wish I was in love and had love?

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Yes, but it's not going anywhere.

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I know I have love within me, and I know I have love to give, but I got to pour into my own cup first.

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And that's why I at least lean towards that.

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I think other people had their own reasons.

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Like, what's yours?

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The thought of a relationship right now gives me the ick.

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Like, I don't know.

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I think I'm so happy with myself and where I'm at, the freedom that I have,

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that I just want to protect my peace and not give that away to anyone just yet.

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And I think this realization came after I was seeing that guy.

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And I realized that a relationship was too much for me mentally and emotionally.

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And I wasn't ready for that kind of big step yet.

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and within that I think I was so pressured by myself

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that like by the timeline of life

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that I gave myself like at this age I want to

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be married at this age I want to have a kid at this age blah blah

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and I feel like I kind of let

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that go I do still want to have my first kid by 35

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but everything else I realized like you don't need like technically

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you don't need a husband to have a kid like you can still do everything by yourself

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but I feel like once I let that go

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my approach to relationships kind of chilled out a little bit yeah and now i'm also like you leave

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pineapple because sneeze is

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that a thing you say pineapple what are you gonna see okay sorry i've never heard of

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that but anyways um

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and that's why i feel like now i'm also leaning more towards like situations relationships

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because not because i want to be that kind of person

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but just because you have the company you have like

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that emotional satisfaction with someone

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but you don't have you don't have the responsibility of checking in on them

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or you know being that girlfriend material which i know i can be

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and i don't want to be that just now yeah

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because i like i'm like you once i'm in i'm 100 in

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and i don't want to be 100 in right now

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because i'm 100 into myself so it sounds a bit selfish

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but i feel like i owe it to myself right now to be selfish

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and i don't want to be in anything serious right now

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and i think that's completely fair as long as you don't

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hurt people along the way of course you know i think you have to be honest

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and you have to voice out for me at least voice

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out what you want voice out where what your vision is yeah

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or whatever is happening and And then if the person like agrees or is on the same page, then great.

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But if they're not, then you know, okay, maybe this is not the person that you want to continue this with.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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So I think also like modern day dating includes a lot of new, different power dynamics.

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A lot of men aren't willing to go 50-50

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and a lot of women are okay with it as well what's your take on

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that um i feel like a lot of people have evolved

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from the traditional like the man should be the provider

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and women should like provide for themselves

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and it's all based off of like your own preference

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but for me i i'm still with the the man should be the provider if you can't Like on the first date,

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if some guy that I was seeing like a foreseeable future with said 50-50,

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that would probably be the last time that he saw me.

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Because then you think like everything else in the future.

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Like, okay, if you buy a house, if you have kids and that's 50-50, I have to carry a kid in me for nine months.

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I have to do this, I have to do that.

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And you go to work, you make more because you're a man.

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And I still have to pay the same amount as you.

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I feel like that's not really fair.

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that's just my own preference there is no right

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or wrong okay i just feel like the man should be the provider financially emotionally mentally

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because i feel like men the likelihood of a man leaving a woman is

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so much higher than than a girl leaving a man

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so then wouldn't you think in in contrast to that then

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if the likelihood of a man leaving a woman is higher

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isn't it more important than ever for women to be able to provide

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so that they don't have to rely on the men to provide?

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I think they should be able to provide for themselves and then consider the relationship that they're in.

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Because I, like I always told myself,

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I'm not going to settle with anyone until I can financially support myself before I can provide for myself.

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I have a house, I have this and everything settled for myself so that I don't have to rely on a man.

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And it's not that women can't

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but it's also nice to be taken care of yeah

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and for me i feel like i'm so like i'm always

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that strong independent woman i have to take care of my

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team i have to do this i have to do that

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and sometimes i just want to come home

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and be a girl i just want to be taken care

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of i don't want to be a strong independent woman outside of my house

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and inside of my relationship i could not agree with

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that it's so hiring like it's nice to be taken care of

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and being like hey babe don't worry i got it like don't worry i planned this for us already

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or you don't have to worry you don't have to like yeah it's the the calmness

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and the peace of mind that i would like

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safety yeah just like i think i think the whole protect

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and provide thing that men are expected

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or were expected to do i think really just comes down

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to women feeling the need to feel safe in the relationship they're in

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because i think when they're when they feel safe they blossom

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and they you know it gives them the space to be what they want to be

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and i think women who are thriving women who are safe women who are at peace bring

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so much to the table and i think that's what it really comes down to

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and i don't think it really actually fully comes down to

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like finances obviously it's nice to have someone look after you financially

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but i think the deeper root in the one for

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that it goes into it goes into feeling safe yeah

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but what about you would you go 50 50 or i would go like 70 30 don't lie

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no i would go 70 30 because this is the thing

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so if a guy asks you on a date can you pay 70

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talking about like those small things no no i right now

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i'm talking about like a date a date i first date

491

at least i expect the mountain yeah i don't expect it's not expected

492

but it's like appreciated i would appreciate for them to pay

493

and if they do pay on the first date

494

and we just get dinner for example i will pay for the dessert oh yeah of course like

495

if you go for ice cream then i'll do

496

that like the smaller thing yeah that's fine yeah like i will contribute

497

and i i want to and I know I'm able to, but it's about, again, the principle.

498

It's about like being chivalrous, you know, being like, you see the value in me, you see the value in my time,

499

you see the value in what we're building that I'm willing to provide for this meal.

500

And if I see that you're happy to do that, then it's like, okay, then I will, I will contribute to, to whatever this is or whatever it might be.

501

But I do get it about like the bigger things.

502

Like, okay, like you said 70, 30.

503

I feel like if you take 100% of like your salary versus the guy's salary

504

and then you say okay for this we're going to pay

505

30% of our salary into this you might make less

506

and he might make way more yeah but you're taking the same amount

507

and contributing to the same thing yeah I can understand that

508

because then you're not expecting okay if I'm paying 50 the guy's paying 50

509

and he wants you to pay 50 as well

510

but you earn less then it's not really fair yeah yeah I that's the

511

But what if you earn more than the guy?

512

See, like, does it have to...

513

Then I must be marrying for love.

514

I think about that all the time.

515

That's so shallow as well.

516

I don't think it's about being shallow.

517

I really, really do think it goes down to you want to feel safe.

518

Because I'm so tired of mothering men.

519

Yeah, it's not your job either.

520

It's not my job to be your mom!

521

it's also like what you said you have to be the

522

one to have the baby you need to be the one

523

to take care of the baby the first well at least three years of their life right

524

because it's it's just it's just how it works unfortunately for us women or also fortunately like it goes workplace

525

yes so when you're providing 70 and then that goes away

526

because now you're providing for another human being it that's what i would take into account

527

if it was the other way around because

528

if i'm planning on spending on you financially time as well i i need to know

529

that that direction because i'm hoping it's going

530

that direction you you you've got us yeah that's that's kind of more what it is yeah okay

531

so basically through it all friends with benefits situationships conclui dating

532

relationships everything kind of just comes down to being honest with yourself what you want

533

and communicating that directly with the person that you're seeing yeah

534

and communicating that with the person that you're seeing or

535

that you're with and honestly just staying true to your boundaries

536

and your values as well yeah because there are

537

so many people out there that haven't met you yet

538

that you haven't met that could be the love of your life yeah

539

but you need to allow yourself to go out of

540

that comfort zone and out of

541

that box to be able to find what really fits you

542

and what you want yeah i think for me like ultimately

543

is it comes down to what you feel safest in

544

because i think nobody is worth taking your peace of mind

545

and disrupting your routine

546

and disrupting your trajectory of like doing you of your growth um of your career

547

so whatever it is you choose to be

548

and make sure you're in a situation where you feel like you can communicate with them properly

549

but most of all where you feel like you can be you yeah

550

and you don't have to be anything other than that

551

because i i think the easiest thing

552

when you go through all this is you lose you lose yourself you lose pieces of yourself

553

and yeah no one should take that away from you yeah

554

and when you're with someone remember that you still have your own life

555

and you still are your own person

556

and being with someone else doesn't mean you have to be

557

less of who you are you need to both have your own life

558

and grow separately but also a life where you can grow together

559

but you should never lose yourself in the process because you want

560

that other person to accept you more um just to finish

561

off based on what you said they need to be an

562

addition to your happiness yeah not the reason for it yeah i think that's exactly all it comes down to

563

so um those of you who are in situationships uh friends with benefits dating exclusively dating you do you You do you.

564

I hope you're okay.

565

Do it for yourself and for the satisfaction that it brings to you and the happiness that it does.

566

But if it's not adding to your happiness, like Anne said, a la paubelle.

567

Straight to the trash.

568

Bye! And good luck.

569

I don't know.

570

Holy f*.

571

We're not even halfway yet.

572

Can you see that it's a look on the camera?

573

Do you know where I'm talking about?

574

Right here.

575

Sound check.

576

One, two, three.

577

The eagle has landed.

578

The eagle has landed.

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Exploring Modern Dating & Casual English in "Wait What!? EP 9"

The video features a lively, unscripted conversation between two hosts, Anne and Anne, diving into the complexities of modern dating. Their casual banter—filled with interruptions, self-deprecating humor, and tangents—mirrors real-life English dialogue, making it a goldmine for learners aiming to master natural speech. They touch on relatable topics like social media’s role in relationships, generational differences, and balancing work flexibility with building connections, all while using everyday phrases that feel fresh and authentic.

Top 5 Phrases for Daily Communication

"We're glowing and growing": A playful way to say you’re improving or thriving, perfect for updating friends.
"Do not disturb": A common phone setting, but also useful in casual speech to mean "I need focus" (e.g., "Put me on do not disturb—I’m studying!").
"Going in circles": Describes a conversation or task that repeats without progress (e.g., "We kept arguing and going in circles").
"Build organically": Refers to something developing naturally over time (e.g., "Their friendship built organically, not forced").
"In a third party looking in": A phrase to describe observing a situation objectively (e.g., "From a third party looking in, it seemed messy").

Step-by-Step Shadowing Guide for This Video

Ready to practice shadow speak with this dialogue? Follow these steps to master the casual tone and rhythm:

Listen & Repeat in Chunks: The conversation is fast and conversational, so pause every 5-10 seconds. Repeat phrases like "We’re glowing and growing" or "modern day dating is combining so many different personalities" to mimic the hosts’ intonation.
Focus on Interruptions: Notice how the hosts cut each other off ("Sorry, I got a message")—this is key to natural speech. Practice interrupting politely using phrases from the video to sound more fluent.
Use a Shadowing App: Record yourself repeating the dialogue and compare it to the video. Apps can help you match the speed and stress of words like "social media" or "work from home."
Emphasize Casual Words: Words like "anyways," "okay," and "like" are filler words that make speech sound natural. Don’t skip them—practice using them to keep your flow smooth.
Role-Play with a Partner: Act out the conversation with a friend, taking turns as each Anne. This helps you apply the shadowing technique in real time and build confidence.

Whether you’re using a shadowing site or practicing alone, this video’s unpolished, real-world dialogue is perfect for improving your daily English communication. Start small, focus on the phrases, and watch your fluency grow—just like the hosts’ journey into understanding modern love!

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Conditional sentences if + clause, will/would + verb — a condition and its result	if it's meant to be it will be · if it's meant to be you will be
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	we've talked · we've been · I've been
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	be treated · be considered · were obsessed
Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing	concui, which are · dating, which is · Konkui, which is

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

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