Luyện nói tiếng Anh bằng Shadowing qua video: Learn to Love Yourself More Than Others | English Podcast for Learning English
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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Chill English Channel,
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your calm little corner for learning English through real conversations and everyday life topics.
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I'm Sophia.
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And I'm Jake.
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Thanks for spending some time with us today.
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Jake, you seem unusually quiet today. Do I?
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A little.
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You have that look people get when they're thinking about something they should have done differently.
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That's surprisingly accurate.
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What happened?
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Well, a friend invited me out a few nights ago.
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Okay.
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And I really didn't want to go.
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But you went anyway?
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Of course I did.
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Why did I know that was coming?
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Because you've known me for years.
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Fair point.
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I had been working all day, I was tired, hungry, and honestly looking forward to a quiet evening at home.
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That sounds lovely.
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It did, but the moment my friend asked, I immediately said yes.
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Did you even think about it?
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Not for a second.
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That's interesting.
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Why?
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Because so many people do exactly the same thing.
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They say yes before checking how they actually feel.
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That's true.
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It's almost automatic.
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And then later they wonder why they're exhausted.
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Exactly.
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During dinner I was smiling and talking, but part of me kept thinking, I wish I were home.
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Were you upset with your friend?
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Not at all.
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That's important.
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Very important.
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My friend did nothing wrong.
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He simply invited me.
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The real issue was that I ignored what I needed.
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That's a powerful realization.
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It took me a while to understand it.
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You know, I think many people hear the phrase, love yourself, and imagine something dramatic.
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Like standing in front of a mirror and saying positive things all day?
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Exactly.
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Or posting inspirational quotes every morning.
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Right.
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But real self-love often looks much simpler than that.
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How so?
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Sometimes self-love is going to bed when you're tired instead of forcing yourself to stay awake.
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That's true.
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Sometimes it's saying no when you genuinely don't have the energy.
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That's harder.
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Much harder.
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Why do you think that is?
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Because most of us want people to like us.
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Definitely.
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We want to be helpful.
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We want to be kind.
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We want to be seen as dependable.
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There's nothing wrong with those things.
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Not at all.
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The problem starts when being kind to everyone else means being unkind to yourself.
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That's a difficult balance balance.
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It is.
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I used to believe that putting myself first was selfish.
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A lot of people believe that.
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If I chose rest, I felt guilty.
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Really?
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Yes.
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If I declined an invitation, I worried someone would be disappointed.
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And if someone was disappointed?
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Then I felt responsible.
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That's a heavy way to live.
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It is.
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Because eventually you start carrying everyone's feelings while ignoring your own.
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That's such a good way to describe it.
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Have you ever done that?
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More times than I can count.
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Tell me about one.
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A few months ago, a family member called me late at night.
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Was everything okay?
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Yes, nothing serious.
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They just wanted to talk.
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And you were tired?
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Extremely tired.
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Oh.
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Exactly.
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I had an early meeting the next morning, and all I wanted was sleep.
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But you stayed on the phone?
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For nearly an hour.
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Wow.
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The funny thing is, they would have completely understood if I had said, can we talk tomorrow?
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Then why didn't you?
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Because I didn't even consider my own needs.
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That's fascinating.
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Isn't it?
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It's like sometimes we're so focused on taking care of everyone else that we forget we're a person too.
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Exactly.
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And then one day we feel exhausted, frustrated, or overwhelmed.
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But we don't understand why.
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Because the problem wasn't one big event.
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It was hundreds of small moments.
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Small moments where we ignored ourselves.
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Small moments where we said yes
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when we meant no. Small moments where we kept giving even though our energy was already running low.
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I think that's why today's topic matters so much.
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Me too.
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Loving yourself more than others doesn't mean becoming the center of the universe.
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That's a relief.
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It simply means recognizing that your needs matter too.
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That sounds reasonable.
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It does, but many people struggle with it.
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Why?
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Because we're often taught how to care for others, but we're rarely taught how to care for ourselves.
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That's true.
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Think about it.
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If a friend came to you and said, I'm completely exhausted… I'd tell them to rest.
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If they said, I've been working nonstop… I'd tell them to take a break.
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If they said, I haven't had a day to myself in months.
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I'd probably say that's not healthy.
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Exactly.
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But when it's us, the conversation changes.
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Suddenly we become much less understanding.
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We tell ourselves to push harder.
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Work more.
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Worry less.
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Sleep later.
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Keep going.
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And eventually we wonder why we're so tired all the time.
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It's funny, isn't it?
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What is?
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Sometimes we're incredibly compassionate toward other people and incredibly demanding toward ourselves.
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That's very true.
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Maybe loving yourself more starts with speaking to yourself the way you'd speak to someone you care about.
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I like that idea.
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Instead of asking, how can I make everyone happy today?
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You might ask, what do I actually need today?
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That's a simple question question.
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But it can reveal a lot.
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Sometimes the answer is rest.
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Sometimes it's space.
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Sometimes it's honesty.
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And sometimes it's simply admitting that you're tired of always putting yourself last.
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You know, something else comes to mind when we talk about self-love.
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What's that?
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Approval.
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Ah, that's a big one.
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I think a lot of people spend years chasing it without even realizing it.
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Approval from parents, friends, co-workers, teachers.
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Even strangers on the internet.
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Especially strangers on the internet.
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It's strange when you think about it.
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How so?
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Sometimes one compliment can make our whole day.
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That's true.
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But one negative comment can ruin it.
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Unfortunately, that's true too.
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Why do we give other people so much power over how we feel?
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That's a difficult question.
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Do you think everyone does it?
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To some degree, yes.
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Humans naturally want connection.
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We want to feel accepted.
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There's nothing wrong with that.
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Not at all.
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The problem begins when our self-worth depends entirely on what other people think.
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I experienced that a few years ago.
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What happened?
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I worked really hard on a presentation.
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Okay.
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I spent days preparing it.
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I checked every detail.
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I practiced several times.
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Sounds impressive.
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I thought so, too.
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Then what happened? happened.
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Most people liked it.
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That sounds good.
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It should have been, but one person criticized it.
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Just one?
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Just one.
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Let me guess, that's the only comment you remembered?
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Exactly.
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We humans are funny sometimes.
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20 people said positive things, one person said something negative, and my brain immediately focused on the negative comment.
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I think many listeners will understand that feeling.
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For two days, I kept replaying that criticism in my mind.
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Even though most people were happy with your work?
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Yes.
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Looking back, what do you think was happening?
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I think I was looking for permission to feel good about myself.
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That's interesting.
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Instead of deciding that I had done a good job, I was waiting for someone else to tell me.
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And when one person disagreed, your confidence disappeared.
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Exactly.
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That's exhausting.
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It really is.
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Because there will always be people who disagree with us.
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Always.
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There will always be people who don't understand us.
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Or don't like our choices.
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Or simply have a different opinion.
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That's part of life.
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Which means if our happiness depends on everyone's approval, we'll spend our entire lives waiting.
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That's a depressing thought.
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It is.
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So what should we do instead?
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I think we need to learn to trust our own judgment more.
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Easier said than done.
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Definitely.
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I remember another situation that taught me this lesson.
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Go on.
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A friend once canceled plans with me at the last minute.
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That's disappointing.
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It was, but what surprised me was my reaction.
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What do you mean?
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My first thought wasn't, they're busy.
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Okay.
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My first thought was, maybe they don't want to spend time with me.
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Ah.
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Then it became, maybe I'm boring.
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Oh no. Then, maybe they don't actually like me.
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Your mind went on quite a journey.
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A very dramatic journey.
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And what was the real reason they canceled?
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Their child got sick.
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That's a completely reasonable reason.
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Exactly.
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But before I knew that, I had already created an entire story.
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I think many people do that.
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Why?
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Because insecurity likes to fill empty spaces.
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That's a great sentence.
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When we don't have information, we often invent it.
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And usually the story isn't very kind.
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Rarely.
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So loving yourself more might mean giving yourself the benefit of the doubt.
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I like that.
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Instead of immediately assuming something is wrong with you.
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Exactly.
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Another thing I've noticed is that people are often kinder to strangers than they are to themselves.
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That's very true.
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If a stranger makes a mistake, we understand.
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If a friend makes a mistake, we forgive them.
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But when we make a mistake… Suddenly, we're on trial.
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That's exactly how it feels.
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We become our own harshest critic.
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I used to do that all the time.
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What kind of things would you say to yourself?
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Things I would never say to another person.
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Such as?
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You're not good enough.
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Ouch!
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You should have done better.
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That's painful.
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Everyone else is doing better than you.
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That's a dangerous comparison.
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It really is.
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Because we rarely compare fairly.
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What do you mean?
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We compare our struggles to someone else's highlights.
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That's so true.
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We see their success, but not their doubts.
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Their achievements, but not their failures.
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Their confidence, but not their fears.
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And then we wonder why we feel inadequate.
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Exactly.
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I think self-love requires a different kind of conversation.
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Tell me more.
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Instead of saying, why am I not like them?
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You ask.
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What do I need right now to keep growing?
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That's much healthier.
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It keeps the focus on your own journey.
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Rather than somebody else's.
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Yes.
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You know another word that comes to mind? Which one?
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boundaries.
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Ah, boundaries.
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Many people hear that word and immediately think it sounds cold. Or unfriendly.
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Exactly.
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But healthy boundaries aren't about pushing people away.
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They're about protecting your energy.
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That's a much better definition.
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Think about your phone battery.
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Okay.
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If you never charge it, eventually it dies.
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Makes sense.
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Yet many people expect themselves to keep giving energy without ever recharging.
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That's impossible.
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Exactly.
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And then they feel guilty for being tired.
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Which makes no sense when you say it out loud.
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It really doesn't.
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Boundaries can be simple.
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Like what?
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Saying, I can't help today.
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That's a useful one.
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Or, I need some time to think about it.
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I like that.
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Or even, I'm not available right now.
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Short, honest, and respectful.
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Exactly.
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The funny thing is that most people respect our boundaries more than we expect.
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That's been my experience, too.
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We spend days worrying about saying no. Then the other person says, okay.
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And that's it.
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That's it.
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Meanwhile, we've been imagining a disaster.
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An entire disaster movie.
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With dramatic music and everything.
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Exactly.
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Maybe loving yourself isn't one huge decision.
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Maybe it's a collection of small choices.
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Small moments where you decide your needs matter.
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Small moments where you stop apologizing for being human.
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Small moments where you remember that caring for yourself is not the same as being selfish.
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And that might be one of the most important lessons a person can learn.
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You know, Jake, there's something we've talked about a lot today.
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What's that?
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The idea that loving yourself isn't one big moment.
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Right.
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It's not waking up one morning and suddenly feeling confident forever.
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If only it worked like that. That would be convenient.
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Very convenient.
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But real self-love seems much quieter than that.
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I agree.
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It's choosing to respect yourself even on ordinary days.
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Especially on ordinary days.
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That's a good point.
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Because anybody can feel good when everything is going well.
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True.
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The challenge comes when you're tired, disappointed, stressed, or uncertain.
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And that's when self-love matters most.
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Exactly.
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I think many people are waiting until they become perfect before they allow themselves to feel good enough.
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That's a trap.
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A very common trap.
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People say things like, I'll be happy when I lose weight.
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Or I'll respect myself when I get that promotion.
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Or I'll feel confident when I finally achieve this goal.
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But the goal keeps moving.
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That's the problem.
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There's always another achievement.
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Another milestone.
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Another reason to postpone kindness toward yourself.
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And before you know it, years have passed.
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That's why I think self-love has to start now.
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Not when everything is perfect.
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Because perfection isn't coming. That sounds harsh.
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Maybe a little.
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But it's true.
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We're all imperfect.
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Every single one of us.
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Which means we deserve compassion while we're still learning.
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I love that idea.
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Me too.
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If someone listening today remembers only one thing from this conversation, what would you want it to be?
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That's a good question.
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Take your time.
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I think I'd say this.
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You don't have to earn your worth.
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That's powerful.
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Your value isn't something you win after completing enough tasks.
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Or after pleasing enough people.
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Or after making everyone happy.
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Because that's impossible anyway.
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Exactly.
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For me, I think I'd say something slightly different.
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What would you say?
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Don't abandon yourself while trying to take care of everyone else.
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That's beautiful.
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We spend so much time supporting others.
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Which is a wonderful thing.
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Absolutely.
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But we need some of that support, too.
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Otherwise, we end up running on empty.
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And nobody benefits from that.
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Not even the people we're trying to help.
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Exactly.
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Alright, let's slow down for a moment and look at some useful vocabulary from today's conversation.
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Great idea.
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Our first word is boundary.
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Boundary.
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A boundary is a limit that helps protect your time, energy, or well-being.
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For example, you could say, I'm learning to set healthy boundaries.
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Or, creating boundaries helps me protect my peace.
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Excellent.
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Our second word is self-worth.
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Self-worth.
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Self-worth means the value you believe you have as a person.
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You might say, my self-worth should not depend on other people's opinions.
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Or, I'm working on improving my self-worth.
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That's a very important one.
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Our third word is confidence.
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Confidence.
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Confidence means believing in yourself and your abilities.
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For example, I feel more confident when I trust my decisions.
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Or, confidence grows through practice.
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Nice.
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Our fourth word is balance.
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Balance.
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Balance means giving appropriate attention to different parts of your life.
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You could say, I'm trying to find a better balance between work and rest.
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Or, healthy relationships require balance.
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Very useful.
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Our fifth word is well-being.
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Well-being.
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Well-being refers to your overall health, happiness, and quality of life.
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Example, taking breaks is important for my well-being.
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Or, I'm making my well-being a priority.
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And our final word?
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Acceptance.
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Acceptance.
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Acceptance means recognizing reality without constantly fighting against it.
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You could say, self-acceptance has helped me feel more peaceful.
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Or, acceptance doesn't mean giving up.
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It means being honest about where you are.
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Those are six fantastic words.
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boundary, self-worth, confidence, balance, well-being, and acceptance.
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Try using them when you talk about your own experiences.
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Now let's do one of our favorite activities.
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Say it better.
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Let's take some simple sentences and make them sound more natural.
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Here's the first one.
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I always care about others, but not myself.
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A more natural version could be, I often neglect my own needs while taking care of others.
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Or I tend to put everyone else first.
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Nice.
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Here's another.
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I want everyone to like me.
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You could say, I often seek approval from others.
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Or I'm learning not to depend on other people's approval.
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Very natural.
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What about this one?
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I feel tired because I do too much.
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You could say, I'm feeling overwhelmed because I've taken on too much.
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Or, I need to create better boundaries around my time.
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Great.
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Here's another common sentence.
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I am trying to be kinder to myself.
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A smoother version could be, I'm learning to practice self-compassion.
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Or, I'm working on treating myself with more kindness.
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Excellent.
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One more.
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Let's do it.
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I don't want to lose myself while helping others.
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You could say, I want to support others without abandoning my own needs.
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Or, I'm learning to care for others while still taking care of myself.
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I think that sentence captures today's message perfectly.
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I think so too.
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Before we finish, let's leave our listeners with a simple question.
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Good idea.
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What's one small thing you can do for yourself this week?
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It doesn't have to be something big.
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Maybe it's getting more rest.
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Maybe it's saying no to something that drains your energy.
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Maybe it's taking a break without feeling guilty.
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Or maybe it's simply speaking to yourself with a little more compassion.
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Whatever it is, remember that your needs matter too.
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You deserve the same kindness that you so freely give to others.
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Thank you for joining us today on Chill English Channel.
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Keep practicing your English one step at a time.
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Take care of yourself.
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And don't forget to make room for yourself in your own life.
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Bye for now.
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See you next time.
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Về Bài Học Này
Bạn đang luyện tập phát âm tiếng Anh với video "Learn to Love Yourself More Than Others | English Podcast for Learning English" bằng phương pháp Shadowing — kỹ thuật được Dr. Alexander Arguelles phổ biến rộng rãi.
Hãy nghe kỹ từng câu, chú ý cách người nói nhấn âm và nối âm, rồi đọc lại to và tự tin. Mỗi ngày 15–30 phút luyện đều đặn, bạn sẽ thấy phát âm chuẩn hơn.
Phương Pháp Shadowing Là Gì?
Shadowing là kỹ thuật học ngôn ngữ có cơ sở khoa học, ban đầu được phát triển cho chương trình đào tạo phiên dịch viên chuyên nghiệp và được phổ biến rộng rãi bởi nhà đa ngôn ngữ học Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Nguyên lý cốt lõi đơn giản nhưng cực kỳ hiệu quả: bạn nghe tiếng Anh của người bản xứ và lặp lại to ngay lập tức — như một "cái bóng" (shadow) đuổi theo người nói với độ trễ chỉ 1–2 giây. Khác với luyện ngữ pháp hay học từ vựng bị động, Shadowing buộc não bộ và cơ miệng phải đồng thời xử lý và tái tạo ngôn ngữ thực tế. Các nghiên cứu khoa học xác nhận phương pháp này cải thiện đáng kể phát âm, ngữ điệu, nhịp điệu, nối âm, kỹ năng nghe và độ lưu loát khi nói — đặc biệt hiệu quả cho người luyện IELTS Speaking và muốn giao tiếp tiếng Anh tự nhiên như người bản ngữ.